Trust

[PhilGarlic]

Meh this long, difficult road is sounding kind of tiresome though. There's always this bit of me that just wants to go, just fuckin DO it you soft bitch Just fuckin arrange the meet, eyeball him, take a deep breath and a valium, then let him fuck you however he wants and see if you get off on it. Odds are with a little bit of nouse your unlikely to ACTUALLY get a murderer, worst you'll get is a proper beating or burnt and god knows I've handled that. On the other hand you might get someone who really, really knows how to get a woman off with control.

I'm not sure that's trust. It's maybe just not giving a fuck too much. Mind you I am drunk now

Wow, now your scaring me

 

[EpicureanCynic]

Thats not trust, thats playing the odds.

Like you said, too much at stake to make the mistake right?

So yeah, I bet you could throw the dice, get a guy who could absolutely get you off by controlling you and then you both walk away. I could, and I'm sure several other guys here could. Each time you do it, you think you were learning trust. Nope. All you'd be learning is that you got lucky.

But then you meet the one guy who plays it, and you, wrong. The gamble is likely to backfire and you've gained nothing from it.

 

[Loverskitten]

I'm totally getting a Eliza Doolittle vibe here. No offense but reading your accent, I can't help it.

Anyway, you seem at war with yourself, Edie. YOU asked about trust and BDSM, but you seem to be arguing with people's answers here. I understand you were hurt by your job, but then you defend it???? I think if you want to let go of control, start by letting go of always needing to be right.
I can say, as a headstrong woman with MAJOR trust issues myself, finding someone you trust is the number one thing with any enjoyable BDSM experience. Someday there will be someone who cares about you, hell, maybe even loves you, and giving this person total control will feel amazing. Open yourself up to some emotion, take things slow, get to know them, and stop fighting.

 

[Edith_UK]

Thats not trust, thats playing the odds.

Like you said, too much at stake to make the mistake right?

So yeah, I bet you could throw the dice, get a guy who could absolutely get you off by controlling you and then you both walk away. I could, and I'm sure several other guys here could. Each time you do it, you think you were learning trust. Nope. All you'd be learning is that you got lucky.

But then you meet the one guy who plays it, and you, wrong. The gamble is likely to backfire and you've gained nothing from it.

Yer your right. Rolling the dice has a certain 'fukit' appeal. I think what dvs is talking about, that's sexier though. And yer, with a random I recon the shutters would slam down hard unless the pain and fear broke through. There's a man off here getting into my head. Thats making me feel things. Think he's my best bet tbh.

 

[DVS]

Yer your right. Rolling the dice has a certain 'fukit' appeal. I think what dvs is talking about, that's sexier though. And yer, with a random I recon the shutters would slam down hard unless the pain and fear broke through. There's a man off here getting into my head. Thats making me feel things. Think he's my best bet tbh.

For anybody in a 24/7 relationship or a master/slave relationship, etc. I beg your indulgence during this attempt at a simplified explanation of BDSM. There really is no simple explanation because of the wide variety of kinks as well as all of the individual variations and interpretations of each. But I'm going to give it a try...just the basics, of course.

Anybody into BDSM knows that there is a certain amount of risk in the play and that's part of the fun. But, it's a CONTROLLED risk. We know our partner. We know our situation. We know nothing bad is going to happen, because of that. The control and submission is still there, and the two people play off of each other for the final result and satisfaction. It's danger with some of the rough edges smoothed off.

Some people enjoy a simulated scene where their partner comes up behind them and takes them by surprise. Some enjoy being forced to swallow a large cock until they gag on it and can't breathe. Some like to be choked at the time of climax, to feel their lover's strong hands around their throat for almost too long. Some like to be tied down and fucked in the ass by something or someone almost large enough to split them open. Some want to be bound and helpless, kept on the edge of orgasm for a period of time and forced to beg for satisfaction from their "captor".

In each of the above scenarios, both partners understand the rules and their role within the scene. Each partner knows that when all is said and done, no real harm will come to them...at least no more harm than they had negotiated before hand. In all of these situations the main theme is trust. BDSM is based on trust. If there's no trust, it isn't BDSM.

Without trust, nobody can guarantee that you won't get hurt. Without trust, nobody can say you will still have all of your teeth or even if you will still be alive. We like to play rough and we like to take risks, but we like to do it over and over again. To accomplish this, we must control the degree of roughness, control the risk. BDSM is controlled risk.

In a basic BDSM scene or relationship, there are two people. One dominant and one submissive. They each have a role. What happens might all be charted out or it might be just an outline based on previous sessions they've had. But, because there are only those two involved, someone is always at the mercy of another. So, the dominant is always responsible for the submissive's safety.

The submissive can trust that the dominant will be there, in case of an emergency, even if that's just a rope that's too tight or a cramp in her leg. The submissive can trust that the dominant will not go too far with the scene, not go beyond her limits and adhere to her requests to stop if she uses the safe word. It's a game we play, and the whole game is based on trust.

 

[waaitg]

Meh this long, difficult road is sounding kind of tiresome though. There's always this bit of me that just wants to go, just fuckin DO it you soft bitch Just fuckin arrange the meet, eyeball him, take a deep breath and a valium, then let him fuck you however he wants and see if you get off on it. Odds are with a little bit of nouse your unlikely to ACTUALLY get a murderer, worst you'll get is a proper beating or burnt and god knows I've handled that. On the other hand you might get someone who really, really knows how to get a woman off with control.

I'm not sure that's trust. It's maybe just not giving a fuck too much. Mind you I am drunk now

If everything were an easy decision, then there would be a lot less debate and conflict in the world. You know that there is always a tradeoff involved for getting something "easy". It may be a higher price, it may mean time, or it may mean lower quality, but in this case, it is risk and safety.

The choice is and always shall be yours, but I don't think you are the type to ignore your safety. Even in submission, there is a certain responsibility that you cannot surrender to another, and just like the "sex with a stranger" fantasy, while it is a nice fantasy, we all know deep down that life doesn't work that way.

Is waiting frustrating? Yes it is. Just like preparing in advance, checking the safety equipment, having emergency supplies and setting up contingency plans are. But we do it because in the long run, being able to play often safely is much better than playing once, and not being able to play again.

W~

 

[Edith_UK]

I'm totally getting a Eliza Doolittle vibe here. No offense but reading your accent, I can't help it.

Anyway, you seem at war with yourself, Edie. YOU asked about trust and BDSM, but you seem to be arguing with people's answers here. I understand you were hurt by your job, but then you defend it???? I think if you want to let go of control, start by letting go of always needing to be right.
I can say, as a headstrong woman with MAJOR trust issues myself, finding someone you trust is the number one thing with any enjoyable BDSM experience. Someday there will be someone who cares about you, hell, maybe even loves you, and giving this person total control will feel amazing. Open yourself up to some emotion, take things slow, get to know them, and stop fighting.

How did I miss this? Well Eliza was a cockney, so your not a million miles (I'm from South London, not East).

I'm not so much arguing with people, as throwing ideas round in my head, seeing how they feel, arguing with myself. See, the two extremes of feeling scared of trusting anyone at all, even doing this at all, AND the opposite, just choosing a random, getting rinsed out drunk and going fuckit, do it motherfucker. They're much the same in that neither involves trust or emotion or relationship.

It's emotion that I'm really scared of. DVS gets this Although when your from my background, well I don't really think love is an option, shits too complicated for that.

Theres also another side of me that I have to watch when I'm drunk, that just don't give a fuck. That wants to take risks just for the buzz of that. Always been that wild side of me. Immature. Like when your angry and you just think fuckit. Same feeling like when I used to use gear (smack). Just fuckit fuckit fuckit.

 

[sweet_secrets4u]

It's emotion that I'm really scared of. DVS gets this Although when your from my background, well I don't really think love is an option, shits too complicated for that.

Emotion and trust. Feeling and believing.
You can have emotion and trust, and you can feel and believe in something or someone without being bogged down with all the crap and complications that ‘love’ brings with it into the mix, but how empty and hollow and unfulfilling your experience will be.

As I said to you in my first post, ‘You also need to accept the past for what it is, embrace the present, and be open to a better future that you can share with the right partner’. As operaesq as you feel that is, it is true.

It will take time and baby steps, and perhaps the first person you start to open up with may not be that ‘right’ one. Very few do find the right one first off.

 

[Loverskitten]

Edie, you seem to want your cake and eat it too. You want to be able to blindly trust someone while putting yourself in a vulnerable position without building that trust.

The only thing I can suggest is, see a professional. Not sure about over there but, I know here there are reputable dungeons with pros and even pay to play sessions. I think mostly men visit Dominatrix there but they must have professional Doms??? That way, you at least know this person won't go too far and really harm or kill you. It is a way to find out if you're even interested in BDSM.

And just a bit about getting really drunk and playing, not a good idea. You probably know this, right?

 

[MsRoseEvans]

I realise this is sorta off topic now, but thought I had better mention it:

I don't wanna get involved in some scene. I've thought about it, but I'm not after a social life. I've stopped working, it's a fuckin relief to just be a civvy. But if I meet say a random off of here, how the fuck do you subs stay safe? How do you say a safe word with a fuckin gag on?!

Now I'm pretty new to all this, but if you were to get involved with someone and one of your concerns was that you wouldn't be able to use a safe word with a gag on, you would need to establish straight away that you WILL NOT be gagged. Everyone has limits, and if you are only just starting out, you need to be able to communicate to the other person if you want to stop ... or go harder if the case may be. Of course you also have to be able to trust that the other person will respect your safeword which leads straight back into the trust topic again... Just thought I would mention that safety should be the number one concern with BDSM.

 

[Edith_UK]

Edie, you seem to want your cake and eat it too. You want to be able to blindly trust someone while putting yourself in a vulnerable position without building that trust.

I don't know what I fuckin want. I'm totally lost with this.

 

[Edith_UK]

I do wanna say thanks though. Cos I've been a bit blown over with people's taking the time to write considered responses and share their experiences. It's a generous community and I'm grateful x

 

[DVS]

How did I miss this? Well Eliza was a cockney, so your not a million miles (I'm from South London, not East).

I'm not so much arguing with people, as throwing ideas round in my head, seeing how they feel, arguing with myself. See, the two extremes of feeling scared of trusting anyone at all, even doing this at all, AND the opposite, just choosing a random, getting rinsed out drunk and going fuckit, do it motherfucker. They're much the same in that neither involves trust or emotion or relationship.

It's emotion that I'm really scared of. DVS gets this Although when your from my background, well I don't really think love is an option, shits too complicated for that.

Theres also another side of me that I have to watch when I'm drunk, that just don't give a fuck. That wants to take risks just for the buzz of that. Always been that wild side of me. Immature. Like when your angry and you just think fuckit. Same feeling like when I used to use gear (smack). Just fuckit fuckit fuckit.

Loverskitten might have one option that I didn't think about. But, it will cost you some money, unless you know of someone. A professional in BDSM. It's just someone who does not engage in sex with you, but will allow you to feel and experience the submissive side of things. They charge kind of like a shrink does, though.

If you can find yourself joining a munch group, the larger ones usually have play parties from time to time and they are controlled so you could benefit from going to one of those for free. It would be similar to paying a pro to beat you and you'd probably have more fun at the play party.

Of course, you have to decide what is best for you. But I know you would be a very satisfied woman if you could just force yourself to feel a little bit. You seem so afraid of it, and while I do understand, it's kind of like public speaking or acting on a stage. You get serious stage fright before you go on, but as soon as you're on state, the butterflies are all gone.

Come on, Edith. I know you have the guts for it. You've got serious guts from the life you've had. Use some of that and show us you still have it. And I think you'd be a great asset to this forum when people have problems. Like I said before, I'll bet you could teach a class, or write a book. Shit, you'd be more famous than Dr. Phil!

 

[butterfly_flip]

I don't know what I fuckin want. I'm totally lost with this.

Then might I suggest that, before you actually engage in any kind of scene with someone, you spend a whole ton of time looking into what you may want?
Nobody would want to see you get hurt, and getting pissed and having some random tie you up and fuck you til you scream isn't the way to play the BDSM game.

I haven't had the extremes of life as you have, but I have had a taste of how shite it can be....trust is something I didn't have the ability to do, and tbh I never considered myself worthy of anything, my body just that, a body........use it, abuse it, do whatever the fuck you want to it........but it isn't a healthy way to do things, you know that

What is it about going to munches etc that you really have a problem with?

 

[Edith_UK]

Then might I suggest that, before you actually engage in any kind of scene with someone, you spend a whole ton of time looking into what you may want?
Nobody would want to see you get hurt, and getting pissed and having some random tie you up and fuck you til you scream isn't the way to play the BDSM game.

I haven't had the extremes of life as you have, but I have had a taste of how shite it can be....trust is something I didn't have the ability to do, and tbh I never considered myself worthy of anything, my body just that, a body........use it, abuse it, do whatever the fuck you want to it........but it isn't a healthy way to do things, you know that

What is it about going to munches etc that you really have a problem with?

In order:
I don't need you to patronise me, so might I suggest you fuck off with that? Posting this thread, reading these boards, IS my way of spending time finding out what I want. Btw I had no idea that bdsm involved so many bloody rules. It's basically a pantomime and the wolfs got cardboard teeth. I'm not yet sure if I think that's a good thing or a bad thing.

That said, I'm genuinely sorry you've felt that way about yourself. Cos I know how hard and often you need to be fucked over not to give a fuck what a man does to you no more. And as another woman I respect your honesty for saying it, and I don't give a fuck if you call it as you see it with regard to telling me to find out I DO want. And your right, it isn't healthy to feel like that about yourself. But I'm aware that some things I want or need aint healthy. Risk and drugs and possibly sex with pain all fit into that mould.

I'll try and explain about the munches thing:

Main thing is anonymity.
Another reason, less dramatic lol but just as preventative... I don't have the money to get a train to another city to do this.

It's still an option, obviously. Like all the options I'm trying to think about.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I don't have the answers, and I know it's not easy. Good luck.

 

[eastern sun]

It's basically a pantomime and the wolfs got cardboard teeth.

Not necessarily. Hence, the reason for this thread.

My own 2 cents (in American dollars) . . . You're right to trust people slowly. You're also right that you can throw yourselves blindly to the wolves and come out with an experience that you might just enjoy.

You have enough experience having sex with strangers (at least I'm assuming you do) to have developed some recognition of danger signals. All the same rules apply. All the same dangers exist.

It's true that once you're tied up and gagged, you lose your mobility and possibly your ability to scream. I wouldn't recommend going that far with someone you don't know and trust.

I've had trouble in that position with people I knew really well, and had to count on the fact that they were more scared of hurting me than I was of hurting myself.

And, as for your opening question, trust can come three ways - 1. You can build it over time (in some form of relationship). 2. You can play with strangers on the recommendations of people you trust. Or 3. You can trust yourself, your ability to recognize danger and your willingness to save yourself. (If you don't have that, you may want to stick to one of the first two.)

 

[kellyz_craic]

In order:
I don't need you to patronise me, so might I suggest you fuck off with that? Posting this thread, reading these boards, IS my way of spending time finding out what I want. Btw I had no idea that bdsm involved so many bloody rules. It's basically a pantomime and the wolfs got cardboard teeth. I'm not yet sure if I think that's a good thing or a bad thing.

That's the gamble. All the wolves have cardboard teeth, except for the ones that don't.

Main thing is anonymity. Once you've been a working girl you understand there are two main reasons you can charge £150 on the hour. The first is whether you like it or not, no matter how many nets you've got in place, when you stand or lie naked with a stranger, a man, you are vulnerable. He ultimately holds the power cos he's stronger than you. Way it goes. Girls get beaten, I've been beaten, and girls get killed, every day. Risk money.

The second reason your paid so much, is you sign up for a double life. The most damaging part of working? Not the slaps. The double life. Go to any forum for sex workers and one of the main topics of discussion is exposure. Why? Other peoples judgements, the way other women look at you in the playground, the disgust in peoples eyes, the pity (FUCK the pity lol), the way men think they can touch you, grope you, your cheap, you lose family, mates disown you. So you SHUT THE FUCK UP and your biggest fear is exposure. It's like living with gaffer tape round your mouth. Now people are suggesting I go along to a "munch" and somehow talk to and trust these complete strangers about sexual preferences? That is... alien to me.

I haven't had your life but I did move away from family and escort for a while and I do get this. Exposure is a bitch. You lie about yourself to punters so they don't know anything real about you. You lie to your booker so they never know too much about you. You lie to your family and mates so they don't figure out what you're doing. And when you have kids it's doubly important cos nobody wants their kid getting told their mum's a brass.

But you've left off work. Now is when you can just be yourself but it looks to me like you've been in the game so long you don't know who you are any more. What that actually means is that you get to be whoever you want to be, from this day on. You can decide who you are. Not many people get to decide who they are, they just coast.

What worries me reading your posts is that you're detached from yourself as well as from men and relationships. You don't always care what happens to you, because indifference doesn't hurt. But you don't need me to tell you that if you're a mum, what happens to you affects what happens to them. If you can't get in touch with yourself, make your kids the motivation you need to be cautious and keep yourself safe. There's no reason why you have to break out the handcuffs the first fuck, or the ballgag. Have your security and make your safecalls etc. Have your 'oh fuck' phrase and make sure this guy knows what he'll get if he pushes his luck.

Another reason, less dramatic lol but just as preventative... I don't have the money to get a train to another city to do this. Since I stopped working the only thing going down on me is my fucking bank account. I'm skint as fuck. I also have kids I can't leave easily to go or justify spending money on going.

It's still an option, obviously. Like all the options I'm trying to think about.

Are you in two minds? Do you think you'll go back to it, which is why you don't really want to open up emotionally to anyone? If so I totally get that but it might be better to forget about kink until you're more stable with your money etc. Maybe you can just keep a few easy regulars on to tide you over? Are you getting all your benefits etc? Is there a reason you decided to stop now?

Hope you don't think I'm being patronising too. The fact you're here talking about this is a good sign. And nobody's an innate judge of character like a seasoned whore. On balance you're less likely to get fucked over because you're not all wide eyed and idealistic like a lot of young sub girls are. But that's no reason not to load the dice as far in your favour as you can.

Kelly

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

My best wishes of luck, enjoyment, and satisfaction to you on your journey of growth and healing.

 

[midwestyankee]

Edie, seems to me that your problem has three parts:

A) You want to try out some aspects of bdsm
B) To do this, you think you need to find someone you can trust to maintain your own safety
C) Your lack of trust is keeping you from trying out the experiences of bdsm.

I do see an answer, and I'm surprised that it hasn't occurred to you already (or that you forgot to mention it in your posts): hire someone. Surely you know someone from the working world who hires out as a pro-dominant. Why not drop a few quid on a couple of sessions with a skilled pro to get a sense of whether or not you even enjoy the activities of bdsm?

Or did I miss something about this already posted?

 

[DVS]

Edie, seems to me that your problem has three parts:

A) You want to try out some aspects of bdsm
B) To do this, you think you need to find someone you can trust to maintain your own safety
C) Your lack of trust is keeping you from trying out the experiences of bdsm.

I do see an answer, and I'm surprised that it hasn't occurred to you already (or that you forgot to mention it in your posts): hire someone. Surely you know someone from the working world who hires out as a pro-dominant. Why not drop a few quid on a couple of sessions with a skilled pro to get a sense of whether or not you even enjoy the activities of bdsm?

Or did I miss something about this already posted?

Yep, it's already been suggested. But, she hasn't yet commented on it. I don't know if her financial situation would allow that (I don't even know how much a quid is).

She has kids and of course, she's said they come first. But, I'd still consider it as an option, if she has the means to make it happen.

 

[Edith_UK]

Edie, seems to me that your problem has three parts:

A) You want to try out some aspects of bdsm
B) To do this, you think you need to find someone you can trust to maintain your own safety
C) Your lack of trust is keeping you from trying out the experiences of bdsm.

I do see an answer, and I'm surprised that it hasn't occurred to you already (or that you forgot to mention it in your posts): hire someone. Surely you know someone from the working world who hires out as a pro-dominant. Why not drop a few quid on a couple of sessions with a skilled pro to get a sense of whether or not you even enjoy the activities of bdsm?

Or did I miss something about this already posted?

This is the easiest to answer. I don't have the money. And I really struggle to imagine ever paying anyone for sex, even though I don't have a problem with it per se. Cos I'd know exactly what were going through his mind (unless men think very different to women). I'd never fuck anyone who didn't WANT to fuck me, I've got more fuckin decency.

 

[Edith_UK]

That's the gamble. All the wolves have cardboard teeth, except for the ones that don't.

I haven't had your life but I did move away from family and escort for a while and I do get this. Exposure is a bitch. You lie about yourself to punters so they don't know anything real about you. You lie to your booker so they never know too much about you. You lie to your family and mates so they don't figure out what you're doing. And when you have kids it's doubly important cos nobody wants their kid getting told their mum's a brass.

But you've left off work. Now is when you can just be yourself but it looks to me like you've been in the game so long you don't know who you are any more. What that actually means is that you get to be whoever you want to be, from this day on. You can decide who you are. Not many people get to decide who they are, they just coast.

What worries me reading your posts is that you're detached from yourself as well as from men and relationships. You don't always care what happens to you, because indifference doesn't hurt. But you don't need me to tell you that if you're a mum, what happens to you affects what happens to them. If you can't get in touch with yourself, make your kids the motivation you need to be cautious and keep yourself safe. There's no reason why you have to break out the handcuffs the first fuck, or the ballgag. Have your security and make your safecalls etc. Have your 'oh fuck' phrase and make sure this guy knows what he'll get if he pushes his luck.

Are you in two minds? Do you think you'll go back to it, which is why you don't really want to open up emotionally to anyone? If so I totally get that but it might be better to forget about kink until you're more stable with your money etc. Maybe you can just keep a few easy regulars on to tide you over? Are you getting all your benefits etc? Is there a reason you decided to stop now?

Hope you don't think I'm being patronising too. The fact you're here talking about this is a good sign. And nobody's an innate judge of character like a seasoned whore. On balance you're less likely to get fucked over because you're not all wide eyed and idealistic like a lot of young sub girls are. But that's no reason not to load the dice as far in your favour as you can.

Kelly

Oh Kelly, do I think your being patronising? Not for a heartbeat darlin. You know the score. The whole fuckin score.


I get to decide who I am? Maybe. Maybe that's the problem. That I'm a bit lost.

 

[kellyz_craic]

Oh Kelly, do I think your being patronising? Not for a heartbeat darlin. You know the score. The whole fuckin score.

Yer there's a bit of me that's always thinking, will I go back. How can there not be. That's the trap innit. £50 a shift down the pub, £50 a dance or two down a club, £150 an hour working. That's the trap lol.

Yeah that's the trap. To be honest though, if you've been battling smack it's probably no bad thing to be short of money. That's the other trap.

Yer I know what is dangerous for me. And it's the indifference. Your right. And I feel guilt about that, among most of every other fuckin thing I've done, for my kids. What can I say, I aint Supernanny. I do my best but I aint a great Mum. I just do my best. And yer nobody wants a brass for a Mum or a wife or a daughter or a mate. Fuck sake. (not at you darlin). And the kind of other side of that is just not giving a fuck, cos your like, I've crossed that bridge, I walked across that bridge when I was 15 years old and no one told me there was no way back. I aint pitying myself, you get me? It is what it is, but it does mean there is nothing to lose from that point of view.

I get to decide who I am? Maybe. Maybe that's the problem. That I'm a bit lost.

That's it. Pin your ears back.

Legally, you can't consent to sex at 15 and that goes for prostitution too. You have got to stop looking at yourself as a skank and see a victim who made the best of some shit fucking cards. I'm not telling you to go on Jeremy Kyle playing the violin but you've got to stop beating yourself up about shit that was way out of your control back then.

You got clean and you got out. That's no small achievement there. And as for being supernanny, well getting clean and getting out are the best two things you can do for them. Everything else will come later, once you've got some distance from the game.

When you want another job, just invent an employment history, that's what I did. Get a couple of mates who are prepared to pretend they're previous employers for references and just type up a CV that says what bosses want to hear. Obviously don't go saying you've got skills you haven't, cos you'll get rumbled. It's a shit time to be looking for work but then it's probably a shit time to be a brass as well.

You're lost because you never did anything else, which has made your past define you. It isn't your fault your life was still a clean slate when you fell through society's safety nets and wound up where you did. Just draw a line under it and start fresh. You can be whatever the fuck you want now... maybe not an astronaut but you get what I mean. Fake it till you make it and you'll figure out who you are along the way. Decide who you want to be for those kids of yours and just make it happen.

I really hope you find the real Edie, the one you lost all them years ago. You'll find she's become a brave and strong woman.

You survived the game.

You survived smack.

This will be a piece of piss once you start believing in yourself again.

There are forums and support groups for women who have gone through what you have. Might be that nothing's going to click for you until you can deal with everything you locked away inside your heart.



And another thing, have a look around locally for college courses so you can get some skills. If you're on benefits and unemployed contact the jobcentre and ask about their courses. Getting some qualifications will do wonders for your self esteem. What are you good at? Hair dressing, beauty therapy, whatever you think you'd be good at and enjoy, start looking around for a foot in the door.

 

[Edith_UK]

Oh Kelly pmfsl about the skank bit Nah I don't think I'm a skank mate, well maybe a bit, but I'm a fuckin *fit* skank lol so everyone elses opinion can go fuck itself.



Take care sister,
Edie x