*True Confessions*

[InLust]

Checking in

Just poping in to see how everyone is doing. Haven't been online much in the past couple of weeks...first I was rebuilding my puter...taking it to Pentium 4 heaven then I took a major power hit and it fried wallplugs, the new power supply, etc. But with any luck, things will be steady now....at least as steady as one could hope for during hurricane season

 

[tonitits]

Good evening TC folks! Its been awhile since I posted....things have been really really busy at work with more overtime this week.

But good news...after 4 months of being a temp, and now that the new Director of our department has started, I will be moving towards "permanent" status at my work and should be completed in beginning of July. Being permanent will mean more pay, paid time off and full health insurance benefits (this includes benefits for Nigel as well YAY!!!!!) So Im pleased about this although it is not what I want to be doing....

Confession:
*I felt a bit of melancholy this week as June 23rd marked the one year mark that we opened the treatment center doors and took in our first kid at the place I was a social worker for in Texas. I called J. to wish them a happy anniversary, and I caught the whole staff at dinner. I was "passed around" at dinner and said hello to old friends and co-workers. One of them remarked that they knew I wasn't in the social work field right now and that they thought it was sad as I had a lot to offer and did such a good job there. I confess I found it remarkably sad as well.

****************************************************

Jeff -- enjoy the game tonight!!! We'll talk soon. I got caught up at work last night and wasn't able to get in touch.

Hi Dreamy! Hope you have a stress free weekend. I somehow suspect that there are few people who have Jenny and Oman's number -- I feel like they are an enigma! BUt Im sure someone must....I hope Jeff and them have the opportunity to meet each other!

Oman and Jenny -- Call Jeff! Have a great time at the game!

CF -- hey cutie! I hope you are having a good weekend...

Jewelz -- enjoy your weekend with your husband. I hope you are getting some rest now and are feeling better.

I want to welcome all of the newcomers to the thread! Toni -- I have seen you about Lit, Im glad you made it here and I hope this thread offers you great comfort.

Have a great weekend TC gang....

Thank you naughtygirl and good luck with the job situation. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.

 

[Jewelz]

-bump- off page 4!!

Welcome to all the new TCers!

Sending mega hugs to NG!!

 

[DreamOfSun]

Good morning, Jewelz. Hope you are feeling better today!

NG - Congratulations on your news about work! I am sure that will be a relief...

 

[tonitits]

Good morning, TCers hope you are all having a wonderful Sunday.

 

[SuperShyGuy]

... and now good afternoon.

 

[omahaman2]

http://www.paintcreek.org/interact/ecard/cards/sad_face2.gif

WE didnt get to meet jeff!!!!
Darn,sorry about that jeff!!!!
Also, sorry if my post sounded like we were on the upper levels.
I just made up some numbers for that post. I kept looking all over
for a guy with a huge smile on his face, you must have one that's permanent since you got to meet dreamy!!!


I dont want to be an enigma!!!!

http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

Thanks all for trying!!

http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

Smiling because Im so happy for my sisters.
Jewelz having time with hubby
NG's change in job situation.

and
http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

we are back with you all!!!

 

[nrcma98]

WE didnt get to meet jeff!!!!
Darn,sorry about that jeff!!!!
Also, sorry if my post sounded like we were on the upper levels.
I just made up some numbers for that post. I kept looking all over
for a guy with a huge smile on his face, you must have one that's permanent since you got to meet dreamy!!!


I dont want to be an enigma!!!!

Thanks all for trying!!

SNIP

So where did you two sit?

(It wasn't a bad walk up to 3rd deck....twice)

 

[tonitits]

http://www.paintcreek.org/interact/ecard/cards/sad_face2.gif

WE didnt get to meet jeff!!!!
Darn,sorry about that jeff!!!!
Also, sorry if my post sounded like we were on the upper levels.
I just made up some numbers for that post. I kept looking all over
for a guy with a huge smile on his face, you must have one that's permanent since you got to meet dreamy!!!


I dont want to be an enigma!!!!

http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

Thanks all for trying!!

http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

Smiling because Im so happy for my sisters.
Jewelz having time with hubby
NG's change in job situation.

and
http://www.strangenamescollective.co.uk/images/long%20term%20happinness/happy-face.jpg

we are back with you all!!!

Hope ya'll had a good time! (((((((((((Jenny and Oman)))))))))))
and we are glad that ya'll are back with us!

 

[omahaman2]

So where did you two sit?

(It wasn't a bad walk up to 3rd deck....twice)

http://www.chillscafe.com.sg/images/sorry.jpg

FRIDAY we were in the third base outfeild plaza area out by the third base foul pole

SATURDAY we were seating right next to the royals bullpen.

SUNDAY we didnt make it to the game thinking it was going to be cancelled because of the rain. When we realized it wasnt going to be we thought it wouldnt be worth the parking fee and time to see the last few innings.
AGAIN

http://www.chillscafe.com.sg/images/sorry.jpg

 

[omahaman2]

Hope ya'll had a good time! (((((((((((Jenny and Oman)))))))))))
and we are glad that ya'll are back with us!

OF COURSE!!!!
we had a great time
we were together
and when I think
of her
I sing

GLAD ALL OVER
(Dave Clark / Mike Smith)

You say that you love me (say you love me)
All of the time (all of the time)
You say that you need me (say you need me)
You'll always be mine (always be mine)

I'm feelin' glad all over
Yes I'm-a glad all over
Baby I'm glad all over
So glad you're mine

I'll make you happy (make you happy)
You'll never be blue (never be blue)
You'll have no sorrow (have no sorrow)
'Cause I'll always be true (always be true)

And I'm feelin' glad all over
Yes I'm-a glad all over
Baby I'm-a glad all over
So glad you're mine

Other girls may try to take me away (take me away)
But you know, it's by your side I will stay
I'll stay

Our love will last now (our love will last)
Till the end of time (end of time)
Because this love now (because this love)
Is gonna be yours and mine (yours and mine)

And I'm feelin' glad all over
Yes I'm-a glad all over
Baby I'm glad all over
So glad you're mine

Other girls may try to take me away (take me away)
But you know, it's by your side I will stay
I'll stay

All of our lives now (all of our lives)
Till the end of time (end of time)
Because this love now (because this love)
Is only yours and mine (yours and mine)

And I'm feelin' glad all over
Yes I'm-a glad all over
Baby I'm-a glad all over
So glad you're mine

I'm so glad you're mine now
I'm so, I'm so glad you're mine
I'm-a so glad you're mine now
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa

 

[Wintermute]

LONG CONFESSION

I hurt someone I love, someone who is both a friend and a lover, someone who means the world to me. I didn’t mean to, no one does. I did so by letting her know that I care. But I broke the rules. In my need to have her affections, I reminder her of a very bad time that occurred early in our relationship, a time I wish I could forget.

Let me go through my story. I was married before I was ready and we stuck through it longer than we should have. Fourteen years in fact. I grew up and learned what this world really was married to a woman I shouldn’t have been with. Don’t get me wrong I love her, still do in a way, but we weren’t right for each other. As the distance got further between us in our marriage, I found a way to deal with my frustrations, Karaoke. Yeah, I know it sounds hokey but it gave me a chance to express feelings that I couldn’t articulate. I’m an intelligent guy, I communicate reasonably well, except when it comes to my emotions, it has never been my strong suit.

Karaoke gave me the voice I needed, the attention I craved, helped me build a level of confidence that was seriously lacking, and, more importantly, it gave me the opportunity to observe others and how they interact. Some were not as bad off as I was, many of the folks were happy couples. I know many that eventually even married from introductions first made around the Karaoke stage. Others had long histories of broken hearts and were still trying to find love, the universal dream.

As fate would have it, something unusual happened one day while I was at work. A person from my distance past reappeared in a simple email. “Are you from Bradenton, FL?”. A girl I had known as a teenager had emailed me. We started exchanging emails some what infrequently and then instant messenger. Eventually, she came back to visit some family that lived in the area and we agreed to meet after I got off work one night. It quickly grew into an affair, but since she lived out of state and had children with her very protective and insensitive boyfriend it was pretty much doomed from the start. I’ve always been a Crusader, the White Knight, rescuing the damsel in distress. It was getting tired after a while, and her boyfriend was beginning to suspect something so we agreed to let things cool off for a while.

That was before I got to really know the one who I mentioned at the being of this thought. She is very real, outspoken, quick witted, level headed. But like me and many others has been hurt in relationships before. She was completely different and much easier to get along with that I could ever image another human being could be. Not anything like the tragic drama I was involved with at the time. I asked her out and we hit it off like no one I had in my entire life.

This was where the problem started.

I didn’t think to mention the other to either of them. This was my first and biggest mistake. I should have immediately cut all ties to the first woman. But it was still very early in my relationship with my new love and my insecurity kept me from cutting things loose not knowing where this other relationship could lead. Soon after, my out of town “friend” decided to pay a visit and I did agree to meet her with every intention of breaking thing off. I told her over the course of our time together that we shouldn’t see each other anymore and each time the response was ignored and the subject changed. I was lured into the trapping again that weekend and regret what transpired to this day.

So there is the history. This has obviously been an issue throughout my new relationship. Her faith and trust in me has been significantly weaken, and justifiably so. I don’t blame her, I blame me.

This week I sent her an email referencing a message she sent me prior to the weekend meeting with my former lover. This wasn’t an intentional insult. It just reminded me of a time when we were lost in each other. All it reminder her of was my betrayal.

Like anyone else, I just want to have love and affection. Unfortunately, the harder I try to find it the more people I hurt. It’s frustrating living with the guilt of pain that I have caused, the constant reminder that it has hurt someone I love and care about deeply, the fact that *I* caused this and I can’t fix it. Most of all it hurts not knowing if the pain I feel is permanent, if I am worthy of love from this woman, worthy of being trusted.

So I sing Karaoke again. To find the heart of the music, empathy with the crowd, deal with my pain. But this does nothing to ease her pain either or build her trust in me. All she sees is that I’m out in a bar carousing. The thing is, I no longer know any other way.

 

[DreamOfSun]

((( Winzy ))) I wish I could offer words of wisdom... Unfortunately, I have lived this story as the one lied to and betrayed. Even now, eight years later, memories of our first months together are tainted with lies and hurt for me while all he remembers are the good moments. A relationship cannot survive when the foundation is so shaky, in my honest opinion. And that is especially true when more things keep happening to break those bonds and create more mistrust and pain.

I know it hurts you as well in your own ways. Just as I know it hurts my STBX... but hopefully lessons have been learned from it all and in his next relationship he will be honest and open from the beginning. And hopefully I will be more aware of the things that I chose to overlook and 'get past' in the future. I have been trying to 'get past' those things for years now, and I can't do it anymore. I finally realize that I am worth more than that, and that I deserve more than that. It shatters your self esteem and creates insecurities that are not fair to future partners. It is something I struggle with daily, and know that I will be working on healing from for a while. All I know for sure is that a true, meaningful and lasting relationship has to be based on honesty and openness.

If none of this applies to you or your situation, I apologize. I am mostly writing for my own benefit at this point. I hope that you find what it is you are searching for.

 

[Wintermute]

Thanks DoS.

Not exactly what I wanted to hear but maybe something I *needed* to hear. So it's pretty much doomed?

{{{{{{ DoS }}}}}}

 

[DreamOfSun]

Thanks DoS.

Not exactly what I wanted to hear but maybe something I *needed* to hear. So it's pretty much doomed?

{{{{{{ DoS }}}}}}

Honey, we both know I can't speak for her. I just wanted to give you some insight from the other side. I hope it works out for the best, either way.

 

[thegirlfriday11]

you can always change your mind

 

[InLust]

Re: LONG CONFESSION

So I sing Karaoke again. To find the heart of the music, empathy with the crowd, deal with my pain. But this does nothing to ease her pain either or build her trust in me. All she sees is that I’m out in a bar carousing. The thing is, I no longer know any other way. [/B]

Yet another?????? You were indeed a very busy boy during that time frame

What you seek you can't find in a bar, or even behind the microphone. "As hokey as it sounds", what you seek can only be found inside of yourself.

And I'm with DoS on this one, having been on the receiving end of having my heart ripped out cause the person couldn't respect him or me enough to be honest, I can tell you it really does a number on ones abilty to trust. I don't know if your current relationship is doomed or not, but if you are really serious, stay out of the bars and bust your butt to regain her trust.

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[gina3]

Confession...

I had a really crappy week, but a great weekend!

Last week, I thought I had FINALLY finished school and would graduate. However, after the last day of my class, my academic counselor called to tell me that I had to take an elective to actually graduate. SIGH....


Then I did not pass my series 7 (securities license) exam for work on Friday. Missed it by a lousy 3 points so I have to take the mf over again.

BUT


This weekend I was able to participate in a Playboy TV shoot for the show Sexcetera. They were doing a story on another site where I post pics. It was SO much fun!! Can't wait to see it

 

[tonitits]

Re: Confession...

I had a really crappy week, but a great weekend!

Last week, I thought I had FINALLY finished school and would graduate. However, after the last day of my class, my academic counselor called to tell me that I had to take an elective to actually graduate. SIGH....


Then I did not pass my series 7 (securities license) exam for work on Friday. Missed it by a lousy 3 points so I have to take the mf over again.

BUT


This weekend I was able to participate in a Playboy TV shoot for the show Sexcetera. They were doing a story on another site where I post pics. It was SO much fun!! Can't wait to see it

Congratulations Gina and good luck with the classes.

 

[gina3]

Re: Re: Confession...

Congratulations Gina and good luck with the classes.

Thanks sweetie!

It's good to see another Texas girl around here!

 

[SuperShyGuy]

Re: Confession...

I had a really crappy week, but a great weekend!

Last week, I thought I had FINALLY finished school and would graduate. However, after the last day of my class, my academic counselor called to tell me that I had to take an elective to actually graduate. SIGH....


Then I did not pass my series 7 (securities license) exam for work on Friday. Missed it by a lousy 3 points so I have to take the mf over again.

BUT


This weekend I was able to participate in a Playboy TV shoot for the show Sexcetera. They were doing a story on another site where I post pics. It was SO much fun!! Can't wait to see it

Gina... making films, being on dirty TV shows, quite the star you've become.

Good luck with your classes too.

 

[nrcma98]

For sale?

What about renting first.....free test drive? Hmmm....do I get a refund if I keep my receipt???


ROFLMAO

 

[DreamOfSun]

Re: For sale?

What about renting first.....free test drive? Hmmm....do I get a refund if I keep my receipt???


ROFLMAO

You have to be the highest bidder first.

 

[nrcma98]

Opening bid

You have to be the highest bidder first.

Car.....2004 or 05 brand new Hummer....Moving....pay for movers to pack everything, move it, unpack it and place in proper location of your designed to spec 7 BR 3 full bath, 1 master bath, 2 half bath with finished basement and fenced in swimming pool. Complete with full landscaping.


Plus....You do not have to work....you get 75 percent of all assets and 1/2 of 1% of debt should there be a split

 

[Curious_Fem]

Just make sure you make a detour through Ohio on your way to him, Dreamy.

*waves to Jeff*

Good morning everyone!