frostyred
Siempre En Mi Mente
- Joined
- May 2, 2007
- Posts
- 7,587
ima6uldv8 said:Lol. I thought we needed one there, too![]()
Hilarious............
So this is partly your fault.

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ima6uldv8 said:Lol. I thought we needed one there, too![]()


InLust said:IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
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Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
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If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
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If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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Illiterate? Write For Help.
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Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit.
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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
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You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
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Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
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Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph
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Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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If Walking Is So good For you, Then why does my Mailman look Like Jabba The Hut?
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Ax Me About Ebonics.
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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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Boldly Going Nowhere.
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Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
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Heart Attacks: God's Revenge
For Eating His Animal Friends
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Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN.
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All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
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And Lastly:
"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

omahaman2 said:In regards to the last one, I have a friend who uses disposable diapers because she doesnt have to change them on her baby as often. The package says 20-25 pounds!![]()
And some how I managed to earn 2 degrees......not sure how that happened. I did take more than a couple of classes for fun, but never considered a second degree. Hell, just getting through 1 has been painful enough 
InLust said:I just registered for my last term!!!!!!! I will finally graduate in December![]()
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And some how I managed to earn 2 degrees......not sure how that happened. I did take more than a couple of classes for fun, but never considered a second degree. Hell, just getting through 1 has been painful enough
At the very least I will graduate cum laude (can anything with a word like cum be bad???) and I am close enough to the magna cum laude that if I bust butt, I might actually get that pretty sticker on the sheep skin. I think I'm going to throw one wild ass holiday party this year
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nrcma98 said:Congratulations, Lusty. As one who juggled work and school, I can really appreciate the struggle and cation it takes to get through both. I am very proud of you.
Pencil me in for the celebration in December.
fallin_snow said:confession.......................... still feeling a love for a man that lives just to far away.
and can not find th ewords to let him know.. and to tell him what i was going thrue when i stoped talking to him.. what was making me cry every day and night.. how he hurt me more than he ever know.. howi had to let him think i was a bitch...
knowing he hates me now for it... but how i still dream of him
nrcma98 said:So I accepted a "promotion" at work to a part time position as House Supervisor at night. Basically oversee the entire facility.
After my first night on orientation, I have found that people will inexoribly take advantage of their right to not only make one think they are an idiot, but then prove their idiocy beyond a shadow of a doubt. :rolleyes
Happy Promotions![]()
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You have always known about people, especially the idiocy. Now you have the proof. LOL.
Remember eveyone has only one concern when dealing with a 'supervisor' and that is their concern. (understaffed, overworked, no lunch, difficult families, etc)
Kit![]()
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MsKitCat said:Happy Promotions![]()
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You have always known about people, especially the idiocy. Now you have the proof. LOL.
Remember eveyone has only one concern when dealing with a 'supervisor' and that is their concern. (understaffed, overworked, no lunch, difficult families, etc)
Kit![]()
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nrcma98 said:Thank you, Kit. Truth to all. Was definitely an eye-opening night.

InLust said:If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!
Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me.
"I'm serious dad, can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom.
One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.
"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug.
It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)
The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car.
He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea,"
Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
2 - Lizards - $140...
1 - Cage - $50...
Trip to the Vet - $30...
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie...Priceless
Moral of the story - Finish biology class - Lizards lay eggs!

What happened to your AV (or did I have an event and you never had one)?MsKitCat said:Thank you for the belly laugh! Just love it.
Kit![]()
Well if you aren't paying attention ... no telling what you might end up with ...InLust said:I just registered for my last term!!!!!!! I will finally graduate in December![]()
![]()
And some how I managed to earn 2 degrees......not sure how that happened.
InLust said:I did take more than a couple of classes for fun, but never considered a second degree. Hell, just getting through 1 has been painful enoughAt the very least I will graduate cum laude (can anything with a word like cum be bad???) and I am close enough to the magna cum laude that if I bust butt, I might actually get that pretty sticker on the sheep skin. I think I'm going to throw one wild ass holiday party this year
![]()