*True Confessions*

[sortacurious]

and i manage to fuck up everything.......i hurt everyone it seems....and I just hurt Phe.....just fucking lovely.

im about to break...literally. this all is just too much ...i feel like i am being strangled slowly. if i cant make myself happy, how can i make Phe happy??

I love him so much that it hurts. hurts like nothing ive known before. jealousy is evil...very evil... im nothing but a downer these days and thats not fair to anyone.

and my girls? got a lil one climbing in my lap asking me why i am sad all the time. i feel like shit. why cant i just be happy? why cant good things come to me? i know that is selfish and greedy...but why does it seem that i have to be trialed and tested in such a huge way that it almost breaks me in the process? if it were that easy to be happy, i would be thin, sexy beautiful and in Phe's arms with no other worries.

Making changes in your life, DOES NOT mean you are fucking everything up!
As for Phe...he loves you, unconditionally. He's trying to show you that, accept it baby. It's what you've always dreamed of, what you've wished for your whole life, what you've craved. It's right there, waiting for you to grasp. Don't doubt it because whether you believe it or not...you are worthy of it. Please don't let your guilt and self-doubt push your dream-come-true away.
Your daughter is even trying to tell you, in her innocent way, that the way things are is not working, and that even she sees it.

Make sense?

 

[Jewelz]

Making changes in your life, DOES NOT mean you are fucking everything up!
As for Phe...he loves you, unconditionally. He's trying to show you that, accept it baby. It's what you've always dreamed of, what you've wished for your whole life, what you've craved. It's right there, waiting for you to grasp. Don't doubt it because whether you believe it or not...you are worthy of it. Please don't let your guilt and self-doubt push your dream-come-true away.
Your daughter is even trying to tell you, in her innocent way, that the way things are is not working, and that even she sees it.

Make sense?

it does. i just need to be held by him. i need to look in his eyes. god knows i dont want to push him away. i love him and i cant even express how much. he has completely changed my life and you are right, he is what i have always dreamed of and wished for. and i crave him so badly. i need to be with him......

 

[sortacurious]

Time for Jewelz to do something, for the first time in forever, just for Jewelz. So what's the plan, when are you two meeting????? You may be soul-mates, but soul-mates that are still learning each other. Gotta facilitate that learning, ya know?

 

[Jewelz]

Time for Jewelz to do something, for the first time in forever, just for Jewelz. So what's the plan, when are you two meeting????? You may be soul-mates, but soul-mates that are still learning each other. Gotta facilitate that learning, ya know?

i dont know. he wants me there like yesterday. i checked flights..all are upwards of $350....i cant come up with it.

 

[Jewelz]

*cant believe how childish she looks right about now

*phelan, you have to know that i love you

*waiting to exhale!

 

[sortacurious]

babe, you don't look childish! I'd tell ya if you did, that's what friends are for, honesty even when we don't like it.

ok, if you can't go right this moment...contingency plan?


Breath, air in lungs is a good thing.

 

[Jewelz]

babe, you don't look childish! I'd tell ya if you did, that's what friends are for, honesty even when we don't like it.

ok, if you can't go right this moment...contingency plan?


Breath, air in lungs is a good thing.

no honey, jealousy is childish. i reacted silly. i was shooting for the 28th of june...til the 2 of july.....*shrugs*.....i dont know!! i want to be there NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[sortacurious]

Jealousy can be childish...but you are still finding your footing within the relationship. And you have not felt secure for a long time. Don't get me wrong, not gonna give you any excuses for jealousy...lol.

I was in a relationship for four years in which we were both consumed by jealousy. It's not a pretty sight, and it's the ugliestly, nastiest feeling the have. I swore, never again. It's amazing how easy, once I made the decision it has been to not revisit that yucky emotion. Don't let that ugle green monster come near you, it only stirs the shit up unnecessarily.
But silly is different than childish. Silly can look even cute after all is worked out Sounds to me like some communication has happened already though. Feel better about it?

Those dates are just around the corner, hun! How exciting!

 

[Jewelz]

Jealousy can be childish...but you are still finding your footing within the relationship. And you have not felt secure for a long time. Don't get me wrong, not gonna give you any excuses for jealousy...lol.

I was in a relationship for four years in which we were both consumed by jealousy. It's not a pretty sight, and it's the ugliestly, nastiest feeling the have. I swore, never again. It's amazing how easy, once I made the decision it has been to not revisit that yucky emotion. Don't let that ugle green monster come near you, it only stirs the shit up unnecessarily.
But silly is different than childish. Silly can look even cute after all is worked out Sounds to me like some communication has happened already though. Feel better about it?

Those dates are just around the corner, hun! How exciting!

thats exactly why i dont want to be jealous....it can be ugly...but you ARE right...its a new relationship and we have to learn it all...but he has told me enough times that he wants me and only me...i need to get it through my thick head...and no, no communication yet...he left. can not tell you how stupid and bad i feel. I LOVE HIM!!!!!! those dates are close...im just hoping...need feedback from him too

 

[sortacurious]

thats exactly why i dont want to be jealous....it can be ugly...but you ARE right...its a new relationship and we have to learn it all...but he has told me enough times that he wants me and only me...i need to get it through my thick head...and no, no communication yet...he left. can not tell you how stupid and bad i feel. I LOVE HIM!!!!!! those dates are close...im just hoping...need feedback from him too

*pounding into Jewelz thick head* He loves you and only you, you are all he needs and wants, you deserve his love...*repeating until in sinks in*


ps like he's gonna say no to seeing you? Yeah right,

 

[Jewelz]

*pounding into Jewelz thick head* He loves you and only you, you are all he needs and wants, you deserve his love...*repeating until in sinks in*


ps like he's gonna say no to seeing you? Yeah right,

LOL ive got to work on my insecurities......i hope i didnt scare him away.....i know i acted hastily ........i trust him. i really do. its my problem that i have to work on.

 

[ShiningEyes]

Hi....how's everyone doing?

 

[Jewelz]

Hi....how's everyone doing?

a bit better since i am talking to you and sc helped me be rational......but i wont be completely ok until phelan knows that i am so sorry and that i love him. i dont want to be insecure like this. it will only push him away and god knows i dont know what i would do to lose him...he is my babylove....

 

[sortacurious]

He knows, hun. Even when he might get frustrated with things.



Heya SE!

 

[ShiningEyes]

a bit better since i am talking to you and sc helped me be rational......but i wont be completely ok until phelan knows that i am so sorry and that i love him. i dont want to be insecure like this. it will only push him away and god knows i dont know what i would do to lose him...he is my babylove....

I'm sooo glad that we talked! And will be here when you get back. I would never do anything to hurt you Jewelz!!! I love you sooo much, babygirl! And for the record, I don't think he will walk away! He loves you very very much!

 

[ShiningEyes]

He knows, hun. Even when he might get frustrated with things.



Heya SE!

Hey...how are ya?

 

[sortacurious]

doing pretty darn good, ty.
and you, hun?

 

[whspr]

Okay ...here is my two cents worth....since Sissy..you and I are so much alike in so many aspects of our life...

Jealousy does become the evil of a relationship. You have to accept that you are the woman Phe loves...no one else. I see Meop playing all the time...but...I know it is me he comes to love.
I'm the one he wants to marry. So, I just laugh at him playing and go on.

Yes I get insecure too. Mostly after one of the lovely fights at home. Then I'm all upset and sometimes just can't shake my insecurities. Meop listens...he understands...he doesn't like me like that...but he would never turn him back on me. And I'm sure
Phe is the same way.

I remember how it felt to just want to hold and look into meop's eyes. Even though I've had that chance...I can't wait for the next ..which should be the end of july. Yayyyyyyyyy
When you have that chance...the whole world will change...believe me...

I love you Sissy...

Calm down...Look around at all the great things in your life and smile!!! It will all work out.....

whspr

 

[ShiningEyes]

I want to apologize to anyone and everyone I was talking to that I just totally left without saying anything to.

I wanna Confess now. Ummm. Yah lol

*I felt really bad earlier

*I feeling better but wish there were a lot more I could do

*I sometimes don't look at the grand picture

*I Miss everyone!!!!

*I love all of you!!

*I miss chattin' with certain people

*I enjoy everyone's friendship

*I'm afraid to be me at times because I'm scared of what will happen

*I feel like I'm starving but shouldn't be

*I loved talking to you on the phone today...I want so much for you to stop hurting!

*I'm a pleaser(non sexual nature as well as sexual nature) and don't know how else to be

*I'm very unhappy because I am not doing as I'm supposed to

*I had a good night last night with my friend

*I miss my family(Mostly my mother)

*I'll try not to unload on everyone! hehe

*I may be insatalbe, but I'm very easily pleased, just has to be done a lot!! lol

*I love you Jewelz and Phelan!!!!!!!!!

*I love my LitMates!!

More to cum

 

[alwaysawake]

OK Shining...Listen to Reverend AA of the Lit Church of Absolution

I want you to feeeeeeeeeeeeel the power of the Lit threads!

I want you to immerse your hands in the holy water...place them flat on your monitor screen--and you'll feeeeeeeeeel the power of Lit when it shocks yer ass across the room!

(Sorry SE...the made me do it!) hugggggggs

 

[ShiningEyes]

OK Shining...Listen to Reverend AA of the Lit Church of Absolution

I want you to feeeeeeeeeeeeel the power of the Lit threads!

I want you to immerse your hands in the holy water...place them flat on your monitor screen--and you'll feeeeeeeeeel the power of Lit when it shocks yer ass across the room!

(Sorry SE...the made me do it!) hugggggggs

lmao You are too funny sweetie! Thx for making me laugh!!!

~hugs~

 

[alwaysawake]

lmao You are too funny sweetie! Thx for making me laugh!!!

~hugs~

NP...just my smartass brand of humor that irritates some! Take care...huggers!

 

[ShiningEyes]

NP...just my smartass brand of humor that irritates some! Take care...huggers!

I happen to love your humor!!!!! hehe

 

[alwaysawake]

I happen to love your humor!!!!! hehe

Good deal! Now have to go catch the dog and give her a B-A-T-H (if she hears the word...I will never nab her! LOL) See ya later and take care! AA

 

[Sandia]

All right, here goes:

I'm an atheist.

I'm a switch.

I eat whatever I want, and I'm thinner than I ever was.

My wife was molested as a little girl.

The maid of honor at our wedding was also my wife's former lover.

She'd also been with the best man.

I smoke too much.

I think fire is beautiful.

I had a crush on my first cousin.

I've never come from oral sex before.

I've never been with more than one other person at a time.

I've been with only a handful of women in my life.

I've driven a motorcycle on acid, when the sun was going down.

I think I'm smarter than you.

I don't like "normal" men.

I've had men offer to pay me for sex before.

Sometimes when I see a beautiful woman it makes me weak.

I've never had sex with a man, but I almost have.

I don't think I'll ever have children.

I think sex is sacred.

I think most men and women will never understand each other.

If I was a woman, I'd be a slut - the good kind.

I love the book of Ecclesiastes.

I hate the commercialization of sex.

I've not had intercourse in many years.

Sometimes these days I feel a little lonely.

I think my latest story is pretty goddam good.

I'd attach a photo, if I could get my goddam scanner to work(!)

Sandia.