*True Confessions*

[InLust]

Thank you,lusty!!!!!!
Turning 29?? No,I drive over 30 but not much more at my age. Got to be careful with all those young whippersnappers on the road. A couple more years and we will have to move to florida! and have jenny die her hair blue!

Hmmmm, been here in Florida going on 20 years now and have yet to see any blue haired little ole ladies And it isn't the young whippersnappers here you gotta worry about - it's the Grandpas in the little red sport cars! Hope your day was exactly the way you wanted.

Now for a confession; I have a job interview this morning with an international company and actually a bit nervious. The job is totally a creative one and I have spent a mostly sleepless night going over answers to anything they might ask. Biggest hurdle was finding the answer to the question; "why did you leave your last employer"......somehow I don't think telling them he was an unmedicated bi-polar is gonna fly.

 

[nrcma98]

Step 1. To find a woman you need Time and Money, therfore:


Woman = Time x Money

Step 2. "Time is money", so:


Time = Money

Step 3. Therefore:


Woman = Money x Money, or Woman = (Money)2

Step 4. "Money is the root of all problems."


Money = Problems

Step 5. Therefore:


Woman = Problems

 

[kkceohcs]

DAMNED...

See what I miss when Icecube stays home..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY OMAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Hope your day was Glorious and Happy..

Good Luck lusty.. hope the test goes as well as the first one!!!!!!!!

Good Morning yall. heres hoping we dont pay too severly for the upper 40s and lower 50s in the midwest.. but you gotta love the sun.. course.. I kinda like the dark too!

to the ladies

^5s to the guys.
KK

SATB.. sigh.. sigh.. sigh.. sigh..

 

[InLust]

DAMNED...

See what I miss when Icecube stays home..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY OMAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Hope your day was Glorious and Happy..

Good Luck lusty.. hope the test goes as well as the first one!!!!!!!!

Good Morning yall. heres hoping we dont pay too severly for the upper 40s and lower 50s in the midwest.. but you gotta love the sun.. course.. I kinda like the dark too!

to the ladies

^5s to the guys.
KK

SATB.. sigh.. sigh.. sigh.. sigh..

If Cube is causing you to miss things like Oman's BDay, then you just can't allow her to stay home anymore

And not sure which test you are talking about; so far I've be getting my comfortable "A"s This morning was an interview; went well....I talked to 4 different people and that is always a good sign. If they offer me the job, I'm gonna take it. Excellant company, great pay and very little management to contend with. They will work around my school sched, and bring me on full time once I graduate. Keeping my fingers crossed

 

[InLust]

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a Year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."

Harry rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123;" and suddenly he becomes more aroused than anytime in his life, just as the medicine man had promised.

His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"

 

[dansretreat]

Thank you,lusty!!!!!!
Turning 29?? No,I drive over 30 but not much more at my age. Got to be careful with all those young whippersnappers on the road. A couple more years and we will have to move to florida! and have jenny die her hair blue!

Hey!! Not EVERYONE in florida is old!!!! (but feeling older every day. )

Happy Birthday!!

 

[InLust]

If Abbott and Costello wanted a computer

Costello calls to buy a computer from Abbott


Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: No, the name's Lou.

Abbott: Your computer?

Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

Abbott: Mac?

Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.

Abbott: What about Windows?

Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?

Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

Abbott: Wallpaper.

Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

Abbott: Software for Windows?

Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

Abbott: I just did.

Costello: You just did what?

Abbott: Recommend something.

Costello: You recommended something?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: For my office?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

Abbott: Office.

Costello: Yes, for my office!

Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.

Costello: I already have an office with windows! Ok, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

Abbott: Word.

Costello: What word?

Abbott: Word in Office.

Costello: The only word in office is office.

Abbott: The Word in Office for Windows.

Costello: Which word in office for windows?

Abbott: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."

Costello: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: That's right. What do you have?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: I need money to track my money?

Abbott: It comes bundled with your computer.

Costello: What's bundled with my computer?

Abbott: Money.

Costello: Money comes with my computer?

Abbott: Yes. No extra charge.

Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

Abbott: One copy.

Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

Abbott: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

Costello: They can give you a license to copy money?

Abbott: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


A few days later:

Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

Costello: How do I turn my computer off?

Abbott: Click on "START"...

 

[kkceohcs]

Mornong y'all

> to the ladies
KK

 

[InLust]

The Mouse Story

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

"What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

 

[InLust]

Where is everyone hiding???????? Fair warning; I've been receiving an awful lot of jokes from that 89 year old Uncle of mine.....you know, the deacon in the Baptist church.....don't make me use them


SBT: They have this wonderful new invention - email!

 

[kkceohcs]

HHHHAAAAALLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Hmmmm


Morning, everyone.. Hope you are having a wonderful day whenever you get back to TC...

Confession: I want to be online and playing more sexually, but my r/l has become non private and I need to be focusing on my business... DAMNED I hate interruptions...

to the ladies

^5s to the guys

KK


SATB.... you truly do make my life more interesting.. >

 

[omahaman2]

letters dear abby couldnt answer!
* Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

* Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

* Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

* Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

* Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

* Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

* Dear Abby,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

* Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

* Dear Abby,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.

* Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Today's confessions:

• I'm still finding it difficult to get myself "going" and getting many things done during the day.
  
• I'm actually looking forward to the new "Survivor" series (and I enjoy "Project Runway")!
  
• Although I'm still working on myself, I wish I wouldn't keep feeling overwhelmed.
  
• Oman is too good to be true! LOVE YA!!

 

[Curious_Fem]

We found out last night that a classmate and friend of my oldest son committed suicide yesterday. She was one of the girls who kept the stats for his basketball team. Of course, as with everything concerning high school kids, rumors are running rampant. A few facts we do know: she was involved in a very bad relationship, he cheated on her multiple times and was also physically abusive towards her. Her parents had just discovered she was dating him, she's white and he's black and they don't approve of inter-racial relationships at all. She had an abortion about a month ago, not sure if the parents knew or not, but my uneducated guess is they found this out as well.

Such a shock, I'm telling you. This girl was a senior in high school, graduation is just a few months away. She was a member of the National Honor Society, the volleyball team, and was one of the statisticians for the basketball and baseball teams, and on her way to some type of higher education in the fall. From the outside looking in, she had everything going for her, unfortunately her inner demons were too strong for her to bear any longer.

I honestly can't imagine what her parents are going through right now. I broke down last night just imagining having to plan one of my childrens' funerals. I hugged them all extra long last night, making sure they knew that if there is EVER ANYTHING they need to talk to me about that I would be all ears.

R.I.P. Sweet Girl

 

[kkceohcs]

CF... sorry to hear about the classmate..

I thought I had a pretty good handle on daughter in high school.. we stayed active in her sporting life.. thought we were "being available" but found out.. there were alot of things she didnt believe..

such as.. "If your at a party and drinking.. I will come get you no questions asked.. just call"...

I dont know why but that invincibility factor kicks in somewhere in high school..

I cannot even imagine what that poor girl was going through til she died.


Jenny.. it is kind of nice when you find someone so good, isnt it?... hoping you and Oman have a Lifetime of happiness together what ever you choose it to be.

KK

 

[JennyOmanHill]

CF I cannot imagine being a teen in this day and age, and my heart goes out to you, your son, and to all who are affected by this.

Thank you, KK, for your sweet words. It is such a wonderful feeling, and I'm thankful each and every day that we share our lives together.

• I'm such a pushover with our kitties! I try to be stern with them, but they still have the run of the place!
• Worried about Oman. He does so much, and is so tired and his body aches. Glad today is his "Friday". Hope he's not coming down with anything.

 

[InLust]

Good Morning all and happy Friday!

Brief confession: I modified the only resolution I have made this year. The resolution was to spend 2 hours a day reading and I left the subject matter open ended figuring as long as I was reading something new I would be expanding my horizons. Well, I stumbled upon all the Stanford lectures available for free via iTunes and I am soooooooo hooked! It's like getting a $40,000 education for free; but limiting it to 2 hours is proving difficult

CF: My heart goes out to you. That is truly a ruff thing to help your kid deal with. And as far as convincing a teenager they can talk to their parents about anything; that is a bit like hearding cats. The teenager is needing to sever the umbilical cord in order to establish their independence from Mom and Pop while discovering life does not mirror the TV programs they watch. They are bombarded with mixed messages and lack the maturity to filter out the bullshit. Maybe the knowledge that no matter what mistake they have made won't change how you feel about them might be easier for them to understand.

Jenny: Just finshed an excellant book, "Taming Your Gremiln" "A surprisingly simple method for getting out of your own way" by Rick Carson. I'm not big on self help books, but this one is excellant in healing and going forward. Lots of Zen references, but written in every day langange with humorious illustations.

I'm taking the weekend off (for the most part, got exams next week) and spending time with family and playing. Going to go visit with "The Mouse" Saturday and ride all the rides, taste all the food and take awe in the evenings fireworks display. Been far too long since I let the little girl inside come out and enjoy You all have a great weekend and I'll see ya Monday morning

 

[Curious_Fem]

CF: My heart goes out to you. That is truly a ruff thing to help your kid deal with. And as far as convincing a teenager they can talk to their parents about anything; that is a bit like hearding cats. The teenager is needing to sever the umbilical cord in order to establish their independence from Mom and Pop while discovering life does not mirror the TV programs they watch. They are bombarded with mixed messages and lack the maturity to filter out the bullshit. Maybe the knowledge that no matter what mistake they have made won't change how you feel about them might be easier for them to understand.

Thank you for this, very wise words. I have been drilling it into his head for years that very fact, that no matter what mistake he makes I'm always here for him. I'm pretty positive he truly believes this. Right now he's at her showing, he went with friends. He's got a close group of friends, so hopefully that will help. This is his first experience dealing with death, so I've been talking to him and trying to gauge his feelings. He seems to be handling it pretty well, but tonight will be the true test.

Thank you to everyone who expressed their sympathies.

 

[MarkSand]

Good morning, everyone

 

[omahaman2]

http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/fkt_missyou/1065-015-21-1071.gif

 

[naughtygirl]

Good evening peeps! Just poppin' in to say hello, and yes, I am still alive and Nigel and I are doing great. Just been busy with life... Work is kicking my ass right now; we have had some changes within the organization and I said good-bye to a great boss and friend and hello to a new supervisor. Ugh, the winds of change are not always welcome in my world.

Anyway, my sister sent this to me at work and I found myself laughing at quite a few. I think Nigel should sign up for a few of these....especially # 2

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN
At UT
LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Monday, February 13, 2006

NEW CLASSES WILL BEGIN ON
Monday, Feb. 27, 2006​

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEX AND DIFFICULT LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.​

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes: Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things: Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost: True Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Cope: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and Role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven: What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued a BA in Survivorship Skills

 

[kkceohcs]

Morning, y'all...



hellooooooooooooooooooooooo

WOW..

ok, this just sucks.. when real life gets in everyone's way.. usually someone in on here.. damned..

Missing you all.. as of course, my r/l sucks.. doing free taxes is a pain in the ass.

OOps, for those sensors.. that is spelled ARSE!. idiots.

to the ladies

^5s to the guys..

KK


SIGH............for that SATB.. hope all is well.. Really miss the time to converse w/ you.. thinking of you often and smiling.. Ok.. > grinning..

 

[InLust]

*cough.. cough* looking at the dust starting to build......

Where is everybody? And where is that bartender of ours...he still needs to oil the bar

Had a great kiddie weekend! Disney didn't do the fireworks till 10PM, so I got to stay up late as well as eat junk food By the time I got back late Monday afternoon, my little butt was dragging; didn't even make it to class Fortunately it was a painting class I'm thinking of making the "kiddie weekend" a quarterly event.....every few months or so grab a mini 2-3 day vacation. Does wonders for the mental attitude!

KK: Why ya doing free taxes? Both Turbo Tax and Tax Act have free tax software via the web, librarys and such generally have computers available for public use. If some one qualifies for free tax prep, can't imagine their taxes as being too convoluted that they couldn't do it themselves.

SBT: Are you ever going to be able to come out and play again???????? *sniff sniff, boo hooooooooooooo sniff pout*

 

[kkceohcs]

Good Morning, y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew.. yes the dust is building.. thought I saw a dust bunny scampering across the bar as I walked in.. GRRRRRR things make me crazy.. but then again.. I have yet to hear of a case of someone dying from a dust bunny attack..

Lusty.. yes, it is free tax preparation for the working poor.. under $37k in earnings for the household.. essentially those qualifying for Earned Income Tax Credit.. many do not have computers or are computer illiterate.. besides.. those tax programs might be free to prepare.. but you have to have a basic understanding of taxes and the forms. not to mention they charge $25.00 to efile..

WE efile and verify the accuracy of all the returns prepared.. if the client elects to have direct deposit, they can have their refunds in as little as 3 days!..

Since H& R block and Jackson hewitt advertise those refund anticipation loans many go there.. may pay as much as $500 to have these "SIMPLE" returns done with a RAL.. when they dont need to, but dont understand they dont HAVE to..

we have already surpassed 1000 tax returns and over $1.5 mil in refunds for our clients.. in 3 saturdays. at $500 per return, how much is H & R block making???????????

Sorry, if I sounded like a rant.. but it was.. advertising just pisses me off. convincing someone they Have to have something they dont need!

Ok, enough of me.. today..

to the ladies

^5s to the guys.
KK

hehehe

 

[kkceohcs]

Good Morning, y'all..

Wow. guess its better to be thought of as a thread killer than to open your mouth and remove the doubt.

to the ladies

^5s to the guys.

KK