*True Confessions*

[Jewelz]

I think that you are the bravest person I know. I takes an incredible amount of courage to do what you have. I wish I had that trait. I'm chickenshit! You were very much ready for this in your heart, even if Phelan hadn't come into your life. You are not a bad person. You are actually doing your husband a favor, even if he doesn't see it right now. He was clearly not happy either, ya know? Life is too short to spend it in misery!!!!!

You are the furthest thing from I bad person!!!!! Repeat after me: I am a good person, I have a loving heart, I am a beautiful person, I want happiness for those I love! Keep saying it, cuz it's true, sweetness!

Besides, I think Phelan would argue that one with ya!

darlin, i dont feel brave. i feel rather selfish and unfair. and believe me honey..i am chickenshit. im scared. admittedly so. You know me so well. I think I have just been waiting for someone to love me like I have needed to be loved and that would graciously accept what i have to offer too. hubby isnt happy. i know it too. but he swears he loves me with all he is and doesnt wanna lose me. can i get back to you on the repeating thing? im not quite there yet. With the help of all you wonderful people...i might get there.
my friend!! thanks for being you!

 

[Jewelz]

But the bright side is you found him!!!!!! It's all just a matter of the fine details now, babe.

Anticipation!

yes i have!! actually his love found me fine details scare me still but im gonna hold on ....in the words of sarah mclachlan's song "would i spend forever here and not be satisfied"......thats how i feel about the marriage.

i think i need to shush about it all now...its overwhelming me.

 

[Jewelz]

Here's hoping I don't piss off Phelan but I must say, damn.. seeing that tounge and that face got me rock hard... you are rather sexy, Phelan is a lucky guy

Yeah I know I am behind... been with out net access for a couple of days...

~L~

*blush* thank you ...im flattered.

 

[Jewelz]

SE wants everyone to know she is ok. just has dad and bro hovering over her...

*Hugs* girlie!!

 

[sortacurious]

Hey SE,

I love talking about religion, absolutely love it, and God and reincaration totally work together. Talk about a merciful God, we have all eternity to learn our lessons and there is no need for a hell. Fuck hell. Shit, if there is a hell, I 've been there in this world, and I could have left any time I wanted. I don't know if I've had past lives. I think that maybe I committed suicide in my past lives, so that's one of my goals in this life, to see it through to the end, no matter. And in the end, I think suicide is like moving to another city to escape your problems. You can move to Cleveland, but in the end, you take yourself and all of your problems there with you. Suicide is the same. Not that living in Cleveland is like the afterlife...just kidding.


God and sex and beauty all work. St. John of the Cross, a Catholic saint, talked about making love to Jesus, having a sexual relationship with God. I believe that. More and more I try to see God as a wonderfully erotic woman, like Galadriel from THE LORD OF THE RINGS (the Ralph Bakshi animated version), full of laughter and smiles and soothing caresses. God as a woman makes much moer sense than God as a man.

Hope you are having a good day/night!


A few religious confessions:

When I was thirteen I was given a crucific, and I kept thinking about the scene in the Exorcist where she is masturbating with the cross. I would dread/fantasize that my lust would drive me to use the crucifix on my self and damn myself to hell. What a buch of nonsense!


K.


Still seeking.

You have some interesting philosophies.
One of yours hit a nerve that I felt compelled to respond to. I hope this doesn't end up sounding like I'm attacking you, because I completely respect the right to express individual opinions. That being said...

Those whose lives have been painfully touched by suicide and/or attempts (whether it be an internal battle or a loved one's) may feel that this post was a little insensitive. Not knowing you at all, I'm taking into consideration that this may be your way of dealing with personal issues. If that's the case, whatever works for you. But for those of us that, somewhere in our lives have had to or possibly are currently dealing with suicide or attempts, it sounds a little flippant.

I don't agree, AT ALL in that if someone kills themselves they are simply moving on to another location. On the contrary, there is nothing simply about this; not in the torment that a person feels which is so extreme that they would consider ending there lives, nor in the days, weeks, months, and years of suffering that generally leads up to that excruciating point. Nor is it simple for the people that love such an inflicted soul, during the same duration having to watch but feeling completely helpless to provide any sort of relief. I can't tell you of the sleepless nights, the crying, the isolation, the rejection or any of the other accompanying effects. I truely have no words to bring these things into a prospective of the actual painful reality of it.

I must stress the obvious here. There are many causes for this terrible situation. Please take into account the mentally ill, the suffering of depression whether this be due to body chemistry or personal issues such as abuse, terminally ill patients, etc. None of them are headed to Cleveland regardless of the afterlife, or reincarnation, or any other alternative that may exist.

Maybe you've walked this path or have been next to someone that has. If so, I think you will understand my need to address the subject. If not, take a closer look at someone that has...would you simplify their pain as easily if it were one of your loved ones or yourself?

There is a huge stigma attached to this issue as well. Please try to remember that the people reading your posts may be trying to exist amongst this stigma in a place where they can express themselves as freely as you too are able to.

OMG, it did sound like I'm attacking you. For that, I'm sorry. Please don't take offense. It's just me trying to put some thoughts down.

ok, shutting up now.

 

[HotAsJuly]

Wow Jewelz... I haven't even gotten to page 4 & already feel a huge sense of friendship. That's awesome. And free therapy!! Great thread!

 

[sortacurious]

yes i have!! actually his love found me fine details scare me still but im gonna hold on ....in the words of sarah mclachlan's song "would i spend forever here and not be satisfied"......thats how i feel about the marriage.

i think i need to shush about it all now...its overwhelming me.

I love you!

 

[Wintermute]

Workplace confession

I cypered with a fellow lit member while as at work and it was so good and so hot I messed myself. This was while I was in my cubicle, four in the afternoon, with everyone around me and no one had a clue.



Wintermute

 

[whspr]

Re: Workplace confession

I cypered with a fellow lit member while as at work and it was so good and so hot I messed myself. This was while I was in my cubicle, four in the afternoon, with everyone around me and no one had a clue.



Wintermute

That is hot WM!!!!

 

[Justine de Loup]

Thank you for this thread! I so need to confess!

I want to be dominated in real life...at least once!

I want to find someone who can fulfill that need in me for as long as He will have me...



Justine

 

[CornFlower]

awesome thread!

I have to say this is one of the most awesome threads ever! Makes my pic posts seem cheesier now more than ever but they were all in good fun. One day with a lot of liqour I might post even my own confessions ...but until then I'll keep them tucked away...

 

[Jewelz]

Wow Jewelz... I haven't even gotten to page 4 & already feel a huge sense of friendship. That's awesome. And free therapy!! Great thread!

Hiya! Thanks!! It is a great thread full of wonderful people! glad you stopped by!! come play sometime

 

[Jewelz]

I love you!

i love you too!!!

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Workplace confession

I cypered with a fellow lit member while as at work and it was so good and so hot I messed myself. This was while I was in my cubicle, four in the afternoon, with everyone around me and no one had a clue.



Wintermute

oh my!!

 

[Jewelz]

Thank you for this thread! I so need to confess!

I want to be dominated in real life...at least once!

I want to find someone who can fulfill that need in me for as long as He will have me...
Justine

Great! Glad you like it!! hope your "need" comes true!

 

[Jewelz]

Re: awesome thread!

I have to say this is one of the most awesome threads ever! Makes my pic posts seem cheesier now more than ever but they were all in good fun. One day with a lot of liqour I might post even my own confessions ...but until then I'll keep them tucked away...

WOW! Whatta compliment! Thanks! I like to think it is a great thread as well! And your confessions need not be as bold as some of us have gotten. It can be as silly as you liking chocolate milk Come play again

 

[Jewelz]

Good morning my confessional friends!! Hope you all have a wonderful day!

my morning confessions:

*Thank God for sleeping in!! Just got up a few minutes ago!! No more running kids around to school for the summer!! ahhh!!!

*Needed to sleep in cuz I was on the phone with my baby for many hours last night.....ummm, 4 maybe? ahhhh!!

*I need him more now than ever

*His voice drives me absolutely wild!

*I miss my friends here at Lit.

*Has been neglecting calling back one of my RL best friends and I need to do that today

*I hope I can make my sales goal of $500 for my Longaberger basket party on Sunday! I have to sale that much to get the basket I want!!

*Still replaying in my mind, one part of my convo with Phe last night (well all of it, but especially this one part. ahhhh!!) i love you baby!

*hopes people will come play this morning!!

 

[Kay_Seeker]

Too Flippant

I must stress the obvious here. There are many causes for this terrible situation. Please take into account the mentally ill, the suffering of depression whether this be due to body chemistry or personal issues such as abuse, terminally ill patients, etc. None of them are headed to Cleveland regardless of the afterlife, or reincarnation, or any other alternative that may exist.

Maybe you've walked this path or have been next to someone that has. If so, I think you will understand my need to address the subject. If not, take a closer look at someone that has...would you simplify their pain as easily if it were one of your loved ones or yourself?

There is a huge stigma attached to this issue as well. Please try to remember that the people reading your posts may be trying to exist amongst this stigma in a place where they can express themselves as freely as you too are able to.

OMG, it did sound like I'm attacking you. For that, I'm sorry. Please don't take offense. It's just me trying to put some thoughts down.

ok, shutting up now.

Hey sortacurious,

Yeah, I am way to flippant about this subject, it's just that I've spent so many hours wrapped up in that darkness. Since I am so familiar with them, it feels like suicide and depression are old friends that I can joke with and about. And you are absolutely right, when I was talking about the issue, I was talking about my reaction to it, not thinking of those around me, but in the end, I was kept alive because I did not want to put my parents through that kind of torment. But the true solution to my suicidal tendencies was believing that it would not solve my problems and that it is not a solution And I would hurt those around me, so I'm alive today because of what I wrote. Just a little confession here got a lot serious! But you are still completely correct, I have to be more sensitive about this issue. It's just hard because of my past...

And I've always been the fucked up one, though I had a friend who was mentally ill and we would do suicide watch on him before he found therapy and medication. So yeah, this is a loaded topic, but above all, there is hope. I am proof of that.

K.

 

[Phelan]

Good morning my confessional friends!! Hope you all have a wonderful day!

my morning confessions:

*Thank God for sleeping in!! Just got up a few minutes ago!! No more running kids around to school for the summer!! ahhh!!!

*Needed to sleep in cuz I was on the phone with my baby for many hours last night.....ummm, 4 maybe? ahhhh!!

*I need him more now than ever

*His voice drives me absolutely wild!

*I miss my friends here at Lit.

*Has been neglecting calling back one of my RL best friends and I need to do that today

*I hope I can make my sales goal of $500 for my Longaberger basket party on Sunday! I have to sale that much to get the basket I want!!

*Still replaying in my mind, one part of my convo with Phe last night (well all of it, but especially this one part. ahhhh!!) i love you baby!

*hopes people will come play this morning!!

Morning, baby love. WTF are Longaberger baskets?!?

 

[Kay_Seeker]

Re: Re: Just So.

K
I really needed a voice of strength and luck right now. Its so quick to judge people in my position and I am really experiencing it full speed ahead.

My problem.....I am way too open and honest. I just realized that I have opened up too much of myself to this board. I must try to shut down some of it. And be less out there........tired of being judged so harshly....and yeah, ok, i asked for it by sharing. ive learned a lesson!

and i thought my hubby and i would be one of those couples that started out lives out so young and ended up still married after 50 years. i never would EVER have dreamt that i would be where i am today...sigh......

That's the beauty of life, it is a sotry we can't guess the ending to. And I understand about the judgement part, when I stand back and look at my life, I can get critical of myself, that I'm doing it the right way, just like my sexuality. That's one of the things I talked with my wife about, that I am ashamed of the way I am, and that there is no need to be. I think you are following your inner self, and that path will always lead you in the right direction no matter what other people think. Or even what parts of ourselves think about our actions.

To thine own self be true!

K.

 

[Kay_Seeker]

Wonderful

thank you K for your kind words..
so many times i wondered where i would be if i had spoken up on any of the sexual abuse issues. it was a different time then.. at least in my town it was. it was a "boys will be boys" kind of thing.. and i honestly felt like it was my fault.. i carried that with me for a long time. but not anymore. my dad passed away over 10 yrs ago.. and i never confronted him about the situation.. but late last year, i did write him a long letter.. and let everything go.. i did get some closure from that.
and i'm still healing

That is wonderful...my mother went through something similiar, and she has had to do a lot of work. I wish you all the peace there is in the world...

K.

 

[Jewelz]

Morning, baby love. WTF are Longaberger baskets?!?

Morning love. Ahh...Longaberger baskets are an expensive additcion of mine. I collect baskets. These are handmade classics. Not like the baskets you see in stores. They are beautiful and pricey! I have tons of them but work on getting more all the time Of course, I get the ones I can use for every day living ...picnic, fruit, cake.....you will see them some day.

wanna help me get that craft basket i want? *giggle*

 

[Jewelz]

Re: Re: Re: Just So.

That's the beauty of life, it is a sotry we can't guess the ending to. And I understand about the judgement part, when I stand back and look at my life, I can get critical of myself, that I'm doing it the right way, just like my sexuality. That's one of the things I talked with my wife about, that I am ashamed of the way I am, and that there is no need to be. I think you are following your inner self, and that path will always lead you in the right direction no matter what other people think. Or even what parts of ourselves think about our actions.

To thine own self be true!

K.

yes, k, i think for once, i am following my inner self. and its all anticipation and bliss....

 

[Phelan]

Morning love. Ahh...Longaberger baskets are an expensive additcion of mine. I collect baskets. These are handmade classics. Not like the baskets you see in stores. They are beautiful and pricey! I have tons of them but work on getting more all the time Of course, I get the ones I can use for every day living ...picnic, fruit, cake.....you will see them some day.

wanna help me get that craft basket i want? *giggle*

So, yer telling me that I'm gonna have lil froo froo crafty baskets allover the house? Oy Vey

 

[Jewelz]

So, yer telling me that I'm gonna have lil froo froo crafty baskets allover the house? Oy Vey

uh huh