SecretScribe
The TC Bartender
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2002
- Posts
- 12,758
Confessions ...
Well ... it's officially New Year's Eve, which means I should be constructing my New Year's resolutions ... so that I can properly screw them up in the new year!
... However ... seems to me .. that in the proper spirit of this thread, that I need to make my confession ... forgive me Jewels, for I have sinned ... (and it has been long overdue).
Hmmm ... where to start ...
---------------------------------------------
My daughter is confusing the hell out of me (probably only right since I confused the hell out of my parents) ... I almost wish she would move out so I could properly give her the dressing down she deserves ...
My daughter's (eldest, same as above) boyfriend ... now he deserves a dressing down. He has had lousy parents who only went from mediocre to downright religiously insane. The man (boy) won't meet me or my wife ... because somehow the fact that we are "parents" means that we are beyond the pale of humanity ...
This despite the fact that he is screwing my daughter ...
Wants her to move in with him ...
Is also a business partner of my daughter ...(no .. not that business ... get your minds out of the gutter!
)
and she's still technically a minor (for another week) ...
is it any wonder I'm just a little off the deep end at times?
oh ... by the way ... this young man is supposed to be very bright (genius by IQ standards) ... near as I can tell he is an idiot of the first water ...
Hmmm ... what next ...
I am devoted to someone, in love with them as far as I can tell, and have been for quite some time ... and its not the only person I am devoted to and in love with ...
As near as I can tell this makes me a cultural deviant of the first order ...
and I couldn't give a fig for society's evaluation of my mindset ...
but I care most deeply for the thoughts of those I love ...
and I wish most deeply that there was some way to reconcile my feelings, my heart with the world as it exists ...
but that is the least of my wishes ... for that concerns only me ...
To bring joy, love, deep contentment, and aught else that I could to both of these women, that I wish most deeply ... and know that it is the most unlikely result in the world ...
I have spoken of those whom I love ... but that doesn't even begin to address those whom I lust for ...
some I lust for their breasts, some for the silky grip of their sex, some for desire in their eyes ... but all for their minds. Without the mind, there is nothing ...
I send my
, my 
es, and a 
of desire ...
***
It has 8 years now ... 8 years since I was first afflicted with pain that would not quit. The first pain was something that I knew would someday be corrected and so I lived, survived ...
and in 2000 it was fixed ... and I gained a hip of titanium, plastic and porcelain. My body was changed, in ways I still don't believe ...
and I worked to become whole ...
then I found that ... my other hip was the same, would repeat what had been ... I waited ...
Came a day that I was foolish, I did something stupid, and so my back is now my enemy. It curses me in ways that others should never see. Pain radiates and courses my life. I am pitted against myself in perpetual strife.
I was hurting and the doctors prescribed the meds, I took them, the pain meds, and entered a world where my thoughts moved so slow ... and I was better ... sort of ... a mental cabbage ... and still there was pain ...
Well I improved and the docs took away the meds, so now I'm much more aware. I've returned to the world and to tell the truth I love it and those in it. There's just one problem ... I'm only improved, not cured ... and without the meds I feel as bad as before.
So you tell me ... should I be a cabbage and have the pain removed? ... or be alive and have the pain my companion, from the dawn till the dusk?
Frankly I'd prefer something in between ... slowed mental response ... and no pain ... fucking doctors ...
Better yet ... no pain, no meds ... but that can't happen .. even were the back to agree and leave me be ... there's still the other hip and the surgury to be ...
***
Well ... this is what happens when you put off your confessions. I still haven't confessed the half that needs to be done and still I've rambled without end.
l8r ...
Well ... it's officially New Year's Eve, which means I should be constructing my New Year's resolutions ... so that I can properly screw them up in the new year!
... However ... seems to me .. that in the proper spirit of this thread, that I need to make my confession ... forgive me Jewels, for I have sinned ... (and it has been long overdue).
Hmmm ... where to start ...
---------------------------------------------
My daughter is confusing the hell out of me (probably only right since I confused the hell out of my parents) ... I almost wish she would move out so I could properly give her the dressing down she deserves ...
My daughter's (eldest, same as above) boyfriend ... now he deserves a dressing down. He has had lousy parents who only went from mediocre to downright religiously insane. The man (boy) won't meet me or my wife ... because somehow the fact that we are "parents" means that we are beyond the pale of humanity ...
This despite the fact that he is screwing my daughter ...
Wants her to move in with him ...
Is also a business partner of my daughter ...(no .. not that business ... get your minds out of the gutter!
)and she's still technically a minor (for another week) ...
is it any wonder I'm just a little off the deep end at times?
oh ... by the way ... this young man is supposed to be very bright (genius by IQ standards) ... near as I can tell he is an idiot of the first water ...
Hmmm ... what next ...
I am devoted to someone, in love with them as far as I can tell, and have been for quite some time ... and its not the only person I am devoted to and in love with ...
As near as I can tell this makes me a cultural deviant of the first order ...
and I couldn't give a fig for society's evaluation of my mindset ...
but I care most deeply for the thoughts of those I love ...
and I wish most deeply that there was some way to reconcile my feelings, my heart with the world as it exists ...
but that is the least of my wishes ... for that concerns only me ...
To bring joy, love, deep contentment, and aught else that I could to both of these women, that I wish most deeply ... and know that it is the most unlikely result in the world ...
I have spoken of those whom I love ... but that doesn't even begin to address those whom I lust for ...
some I lust for their breasts, some for the silky grip of their sex, some for desire in their eyes ... but all for their minds. Without the mind, there is nothing ...
I send my
, my es, and a of desire ...***
It has 8 years now ... 8 years since I was first afflicted with pain that would not quit. The first pain was something that I knew would someday be corrected and so I lived, survived ...
and in 2000 it was fixed ... and I gained a hip of titanium, plastic and porcelain. My body was changed, in ways I still don't believe ...
and I worked to become whole ...
then I found that ... my other hip was the same, would repeat what had been ... I waited ...
Came a day that I was foolish, I did something stupid, and so my back is now my enemy. It curses me in ways that others should never see. Pain radiates and courses my life. I am pitted against myself in perpetual strife.
I was hurting and the doctors prescribed the meds, I took them, the pain meds, and entered a world where my thoughts moved so slow ... and I was better ... sort of ... a mental cabbage ... and still there was pain ...
Well I improved and the docs took away the meds, so now I'm much more aware. I've returned to the world and to tell the truth I love it and those in it. There's just one problem ... I'm only improved, not cured ... and without the meds I feel as bad as before.
So you tell me ... should I be a cabbage and have the pain removed? ... or be alive and have the pain my companion, from the dawn till the dusk?
Frankly I'd prefer something in between ... slowed mental response ... and no pain ... fucking doctors ...
Better yet ... no pain, no meds ... but that can't happen .. even were the back to agree and leave me be ... there's still the other hip and the surgury to be ...
***
Well ... this is what happens when you put off your confessions. I still haven't confessed the half that needs to be done and still I've rambled without end.
l8r ...
