*True Confessions*

[ShiningEyes]

*sighs deeply* My night is dwindling down to worse than shit.
My heart is very heavy now. I can't believe what I've just done.

 

[sortacurious]

I'm not sure at all how I feel. Not taking the advice I should have a long time ago. But I'm laughing! lol I guess that's all that counts!

I think I do. I just. I don't know. Some people would disagree with me and some wouldn't. I just. I just can't understand. I was 19 with someone 16. Is that bad????????

Does that make me bad? And should my opinion be different now because of that? *sighs deeply* Am sooo mixed up.

SE, I think if you look in your heart, you already know the answers to your questions.

But....IMHO....

*There is a big difference in the age gapes you are comparing.

* In the 25yr old ...think about this for just a sec. In addition to the legal aspect, who is going to have all the power in that kind of a relationship? Who can drive a car? Have their own transportation? But alcohol? Make a living? And honestly hun, what does a sexual predator look for? Someone they can control, feel powerful over, right? I'm not saying that the particular person you are talking about is a predator...or that I have all the information to make any judgements....BUT, what could they have in common? What would a grown man want with a teenager? Is it all about the sex?

* NO!!!!!! You are not a bad person!

 

[ShiningEyes]

SE, I think if you look in your heart, you already know the answers to your questions.

But....IMHO....

*There is a big difference in the age gapes you are comparing.

* In the 25yr old ...think about this for just a sec. In addition to the legal aspect, who is going to have all the power in that kind of a relationship? Who can drive a car? Have their own transportation? But alcohol? Make a living? And honestly hun, what does a sexual predator look for? Someone they can control, feel powerful over, right? I'm not saying that the particular person you are talking about is a predator...or that I have all the information to make any judgements....BUT, what could they have in common? What would a grown man want with a teenager? Is it all about the sex?

* NO!!!!!! You are not a bad person!

I feel in my heart that me being 19 and him being 16...both having sex for a while was not all that bad. *shruggs shoulders*
Goes after my own age now, tho!!


This guy. *sighs* gee

I just confessed something to him that only 2 other people know. and now i'm not sure if i should have

 

[sortacurious]

I feel in my heart that me being 19 and him being 16...both having sex for a while was not all that bad. *shruggs shoulders*
Goes after my own age now, tho!!


This guy. *sighs* gee

I just confessed something to him that only 2 other people know. and now i'm not sure if i should have

I wasn't referring to you being 19 and seeing 16 yr old, hun. Not at all!

I was talking about the 25 yr old going after 16 yr olds.
I just want to make sure you know this.

If you trust this person, and felt the need to tell him something confidential, than don't second guess your instincts. Only time will tell, as in all situations, hun. To doubt yourself now may be entirely unneeded anxiety.

 

[ShiningEyes]

I wasn't referring to you being 19 and seeing 16 yr old, hun. Not at all!

I was talking about the 25 yr old going after 16 yr olds.
I just want to make sure you know this.

If you trust this person, and felt the need to tell him something confidential, than don't second guess your instincts. Only time will tell, as in all situations, hun. To doubt yourself now may be entirely unneeded anxiety.

I know you were refering to the 25 and 16. hehe *VBS*

Confessions

*Some time between 3rd and 6th grade I figured out I had an attraction for women...I would shower with one of my best friends and have this wanting to mess with her.

*During the same time I and 2 others would play a little game. The game consisted of blindfolding one of us and then touching each other and talking to each other in seductive tones and saying very erotic things to one another.

*Now for the hardest thing. The 2 others involved consisted of my next door neighbor and my sister.





*long deep sighs* I feel like I needed to get that off my chest. Only 4 people knew about that untill now. I'm not sure how to feel about it now. I don't want anyone to feel or think differently of me. that's one of the hardest things to confess. that and being sexually molested as a child. *sighs* I guess I felt the need because I'm coming to terms.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Great AV

Thank you, Don! Always a pleasure to see yours!!! hehe How are you doing sweetie?

Doin' just fine, just fine. Think winter may be over down here in Oz, so for ladies like yourself it's back to the bikini and beach. I like spring and summer.

 

[ShiningEyes]

Re: Re: Re: Great AV

Doin' just fine, just fine. Think winter may be over down here in Oz, so for ladies like yourself it's back to the bikini and beach. I like spring and summer.

That's great to hear!! hehe lol I am enjoying this weather in a way. hehe gives me the opp. to wear things i can't in winter!

 

[sortacurious]

I am so glad you are trying to come to terms with these things. It's such a big step you're taking, and I think it's awesome that you feel comfortable enough to say it here, amongst those that love you.

You know that nobody here would pass judgement on you, or think any differently about you!

I hope that you also know that it's perfectly nature for children to experiment with each other. It's all about figuring our bodies out. And it's a healthy thing for a child to be curious about it all.

I'm no expert, but I do know that children that are molested are exposed to sexual feelings that their minds and bodies are not ready for. So, it makes sense that they are even more curious as to what it's all about, and will try to explore it with others. All they know is that someone else did similar things to them (usually someone they trust). So why would they wonder believe that it would not be appropriate.

As adults we teach children to mind their manners, to obey other adults, to treat the elders with respect, to never talk back to an older person, to never question and grown up's authority. We condition our children with all these messages for all the right reasons. However, a molester takes all these messages that children don't just believe but feel they are being bad if they don't abide by them, and the predator uses it for their own means. They establish trust, manipulate childrens sense of rightness, they take advantage of the very things that we want our children to learn. Children don't know that they should question an adult about their motives, or that if something doesn't make sense to tattle on another adult.

So.....my point being, is why would it be anything but natural for a child to trust that the adult knows best.

And children are constantly mimicking the grown ups around them: playing house, pretending dolls are babies, wanting to grow up to become their heros.

Am I making sense?

Sorry, off my soapbox now, LOL

Just know that I love you and I'm here for ya.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Thanks for the outlet

[B
* 1. I am addicted to sex (is this wrong?)

* 2. I love reading trashy romance novels

* 3. I want to be a published writer [/B]

Hi Shysub,

1. Not anybody's damn business, but probably not.

2. Mills & Boon is the fourth biggest publisher in the world with a list EXCLUSIVELY of trashy romance novels.

3. Apart from joining Lit, which is arguably the most helpful site for authors on the web, what are you doing about it?

 

[ShiningEyes]

I am so glad you are trying to come to terms with these things. It's such a big step you're taking, and I think it's awesome that you feel comfortable enough to say it here, amongst those that love you.

You know that nobody here would pass judgement on you, or think any differently about you!

I hope that you also know that it's perfectly nature for children to experiment with each other. It's all about figuring our bodies out. And it's a healthy thing for a child to be curious about it all.

I'm no expert, but I do know that children that are molested are exposed to sexual feelings that their minds and bodies are not ready for. So, it makes sense that they are even more curious as to what it's all about, and will try to explore it with others. All they know is that someone else did similar things to them (usually someone they trust). So why would they wonder believe that it would not be appropriate.

As adults we teach children to mind their manners, to obey other adults, to treat the elders with respect, to never talk back to an older person, to never question and grown up's authority. We condition our children with all these messages for all the right reasons. However, a molester takes all these messages that children don't just believe but feel they are being bad if they don't abide by them, and the predator uses it for their own means. They establish trust, manipulate childrens sense of rightness, they take advantage of the very things that we want our children to learn. Children don't know that they should question an adult about their motives, or that if something doesn't make sense to tattle on another adult.

So.....my point being, is why would it be anything but natural for a child to trust that the adult knows best.

And children are constantly mimicking the grown ups around them: playing house, pretending dolls are babies, wanting to grow up to become their heros.

Am I making sense?

Sorry, off my soapbox now, LOL

Just know that I love you and I'm here for ya.

You are making complete sense, and I've never thought of it quite like that. It's hard to teach our children right and wrong when people can and will go and use those teachings to their own sick uses. *sighs*

Thank you, SC!!!! I love ya!!!! Those confessions were really hard. I know I can trust everyone here!!!

I need to get to bed. Gotta get up at 6 am! I'll talk to all of you tomorrow at some point.
I love you all and I will miss you! hehe I'll talk to you guys later!
Lots of love!!!

~hugs and kisses~

 

[sortacurious]

I'm glad that it made some sense.

Good night!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Why Bother??

After replying....huh.....need to confess. *walked in sniffling*

1. *Can't stand men who lie to me at all. Is feeling very stupid for what I've done and let someone do to me.

*Some men are too stupid for their on good and feels so dumb for talking to some of them.

2. *Wonders why it is considered ok for a MAN to say it's ok for him to be GOING with a female but have another ON THE SIDE and then be able to except nude pictures from a totally different person. *sighs*

*That one makes no sense but I don't care.

3. *Wants everyone's opinion's on this. Is it MORALLY wrong for a 25 yr old to go after or try to meet and go after a girl that is just 15 or 16 yrs old????
To me it is, but that's to me. *sighs*

*Is ok!!! lol Just needs to rethink her judgement of what makes a good friend and a bad friend.

*All will be alright!!! lol

More to cum1

In order

1. So why is a good looking girl like you tolerating garbage from any male klutz? Trade him in or a more appreciative model.

2. Because our Western society is a patriarchy.

3. In my state it would be illegal. More importantly, it demonstrates a certain insecurity which is unwarranted. Our Western society is geared to batch people in cohorts by age. Society condemns adult sexual activity with minors, rightly or wrongly. However, society is more tolerant of a relationship between age cohorts where the lady is younger. Remember, it is a patriarchy and older men rule. (OK ladies, I didn't say it was correct or fair or democratic or logical - just fact).

 

[Don K Dyck]

I am so glad you are trying to come to terms with these things. It's such a big step you're taking, and I think it's awesome that you feel comfortable enough to say it here, amongst those that love you.

You know that nobody here would pass judgement on you, or think any differently about you!

I hope that you also know that it's perfectly nature for children to experiment with each other. It's all about figuring our bodies out. And it's a healthy thing for a child to be curious about it all.

I'm no expert, but I do know that children that are molested are exposed to sexual feelings that their minds and bodies are not ready for. So, it makes sense that they are even more curious as to what it's all about, and will try to explore it with others. All they know is that someone else did similar things to them (usually someone they trust). So why would they wonder believe that it would not be appropriate.

As adults we teach children to mind their manners, to obey other adults, to treat the elders with respect, to never talk back to an older person, to never question and grown up's authority. We condition our children with all these messages for all the right reasons. However, a molester takes all these messages that children don't just believe but feel they are being bad if they don't abide by them, and the predator uses it for their own means. They establish trust, manipulate childrens sense of rightness, they take advantage of the very things that we want our children to learn. Children don't know that they should question an adult about their motives, or that if something doesn't make sense to tattle on another adult.

So.....my point being, is why would it be anything but natural for a child to trust that the adult knows best.

And children are constantly mimicking the grown ups around them: playing house, pretending dolls are babies, wanting to grow up to become their heros.

Am I making sense?

Sorry, off my soapbox now, LOL

Just know that I love you and I'm here for ya.

Right on, Sortacurious!! Beautifully put and thoroughly explained.

 

[sortacurious]

Re: Why Bother??

In order

1. So why is a good looking girl like you tolerating garbage from any male klutz? Trade him in or a more appreciative model.

2. Because our Western society is a patriarchy.

3. In my state it would be illegal. More importantly, it demonstrates a certain insecurity which is unwarranted. Our Western society is geared to batch people in cohorts by age. Society condemns adult sexual activity with minors, rightly or wrongly. However, society is more tolerant of a relationship between age cohorts where the lady is younger. Remember, it is a patriarchy and older men rule. (OK ladies, I didn't say it was correct or fair or democratic or logical - just fact).

You're right. Our legal system is full of sexism, along with all sorts of other ism's that may seem unfair, but that's the way it is.

In my state, another thing that the DA would look at in determining whether to prosecute is the age difference, if there was a child concieved, if a concerned adult were insisting, if there was money left in the budget set aside for prosecuting unlawful sex charges (which is the amount each county receives just for these cases), or if it's election year....*shrugs* More food for thought.

 

[sortacurious]

Right on, Sortacurious!! Beautifully put and thoroughly explained.

Thank you.

 

[naded]

Morning everyone, the wounded wonder here.

Just need a few minutes to confess and then back to sleep.

* I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I am not doing well up inside my head.

* I keep falling asleep and reliving the last few seconds before the clamp failed all the way to the ground.

* I remember the impact, the feeling of the earth not moving, the grass slapping my face and the crunch i heard in my chest. I remember lookin gup at my chute floating there next to me, I remember the sound of the airport's emergency wail. Sounded like a air raid siren.

* The doc, who is a nice guy told me about me not be able to sky dive anymore. I see Mike removed that from the posts he printed for me.

* I am not taking this well.

* Sky diving is my life.

* The sound of the monitoring machine next to me is driving me nuts, I can hear the beep beep beep. Like a damn clock. Sometimes I hold my breath and feel my heart slow down just to set off the buzzer and freak out a nurse. Anything to get that beep beep beep to stop.

* I hate this, I feel so worthless. Can't move much, can't take a bath or a shower by myself, I got tubes running into my arms and into my knee.

* They change my dressings four times a day, the color of them is like dark brownish red, I see them and think how that is my blood there, drying on the gauze.

* The room is nice and all but its not my room, not my bed, not my tv, not my phone. I have my laptop which is nice, my cell phone I hooked up to the back to go online, but this is just another prison to me, another hospital.

* I wanna go home

* I wonder why I pulled my chute. My thoughts were on Sarah at the time, and I wonder why I bothered to pull the cord after I found it stuck.

* I am tired, not just my body, my heart is tired and my soul is exhuasted.

think I will just go for now, sit back and read these posts and try to not think to much.

Good night all.

 

[ShiningEyes]

Re: Why Bother??

In order

1. So why is a good looking girl like you tolerating garbage from any male klutz? Trade him in or a more appreciative model.

2. Because our Western society is a patriarchy.

3. In my state it would be illegal. More importantly, it demonstrates a certain insecurity which is unwarranted. Our Western society is geared to batch people in cohorts by age. Society condemns adult sexual activity with minors, rightly or wrongly. However, society is more tolerant of a relationship between age cohorts where the lady is younger. Remember, it is a patriarchy and older men rule. (OK ladies, I didn't say it was correct or fair or democratic or logical - just fact).

Not exactly trying to tolerate it! Trying to understand from a friend's point of view. Wasn't going over well tho.

lol

 

[ShiningEyes]

Morning everyone, the wounded wonder here.

Just need a few minutes to confess and then back to sleep.

* I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I am not doing well up inside my head.

* I keep falling asleep and reliving the last few seconds before the clamp failed all the way to the ground.

* I remember the impact, the feeling of the earth not moving, the grass slapping my face and the crunch i heard in my chest. I remember lookin gup at my chute floating there next to me, I remember the sound of the airport's emergency wail. Sounded like a air raid siren.

* The doc, who is a nice guy told me about me not be able to sky dive anymore. I see Mike removed that from the posts he printed for me.

* I am not taking this well.

* Sky diving is my life.

* The sound of the monitoring machine next to me is driving me nuts, I can hear the beep beep beep. Like a damn clock. Sometimes I hold my breath and feel my heart slow down just to set off the buzzer and freak out a nurse. Anything to get that beep beep beep to stop.

* I hate this, I feel so worthless. Can't move much, can't take a bath or a shower by myself, I got tubes running into my arms and into my knee.

* They change my dressings four times a day, the color of them is like dark brownish red, I see them and think how that is my blood there, drying on the gauze.

* The room is nice and all but its not my room, not my bed, not my tv, not my phone. I have my laptop which is nice, my cell phone I hooked up to the back to go online, but this is just another prison to me, another hospital.

* I wanna go home

* I wonder why I pulled my chute. My thoughts were on Sarah at the time, and I wonder why I bothered to pull the cord after I found it stuck.

* I am tired, not just my body, my heart is tired and my soul is exhuasted.

think I will just go for now, sit back and read these posts and try to not think to much.

Good night all.

Oh, Jay!!! I am soooo sorry you feel the hurt and pain you do! I can not take it away and as I know we haven't known each other long, I am here for you!!!! You are and will stay forever in my heart, thoughts, and prayers!!! We are all here for you!!!! We cherish you and everything you've given us! I would give anything to be able to heal you and give you back what you had!
I feel so helpless.

Please know that I'm here when you want to talk!!! Or need to for that matter! Things will be alright in due time. But what's been taken from you will take a long time to heal and recover from.

 

[sortacurious]

Naded,

I know the news about not being able to sky dive anymore has got to hurt more than any of us can understand. We have all been worried about how you would take that news.

You will be home soon, sweetie. In the comforts and familiarity of your own space.

The meds from surgery and for pain are going to fuck with you. They're going to add to the depression you are already feeling.

I wish I could do something to ease your pain and frustration. Only time can do that. But I'm here for you, no matter what time or for whatever you need.

We will all be here to support what you are going through. We love you.

Take this time to rest your body, heart and soul.

 

[naded]

SE, thanks, but I want this pain, I this to hurt sadly enough. I just want to get unattached to it and let it harden up inside of me again.

 

[ShiningEyes]

SE, thanks, but I want this pain, I this to hurt sadly enough. I just want to get unattached to it and let it harden up inside of me again.

I'm almost at a lose of words. I know there's not much I can do but be here for you. To me that's not enough. I do not and could not understand the pain you are feeling. And everyone is different. Just know that I am here for you!! At anytime at all!
I'm here with open arms and a very caring heart.

 

[naded]

SE, Sorta:

I am sorry guys, I am just not feeling very human right now. I don't mean to sound stand offish or cruel I just feel all used up and weak. I feel crippled again and it took a year of long hard repair to get me back to where I was just saturday morning, now, now I am a mess of stitches, staples, tubes bruises.

Take care, I'll be in touch later if I feel up to it.

 

[sortacurious]

SE, Sorta:

I am sorry guys, I am just not feeling very human right now. I don't mean to sound stand offish or cruel I just feel all used up and weak. I feel crippled again and it took a year of long hard repair to get me back to where I was just saturday morning, now, now I am a mess of stitches, staples, tubes bruises.

Take care, I'll be in touch later if I feel up to it.

If you apologize everytime you speak about your feelings, you're going to be doing a lot of that! Please don't feel the need to feel bad for expressing yourself.

And don't feel the need to respond if someone answers you. We all understand that you are not always going to be up to it, k?

Take Care of you,

 

[1fiestyredhead]

Morning everyone, the wounded wonder here.

Just need a few minutes to confess and then back to sleep.

* I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I am not doing well up inside my head.

* I keep falling asleep and reliving the last few seconds before the clamp failed all the way to the ground.

* I remember the impact, the feeling of the earth not moving, the grass slapping my face and the crunch i heard in my chest. I remember lookin gup at my chute floating there next to me, I remember the sound of the airport's emergency wail. Sounded like a air raid siren.

* The doc, who is a nice guy told me about me not be able to sky dive anymore. I see Mike removed that from the posts he printed for me.

* I am not taking this well.

* Sky diving is my life.

* The sound of the monitoring machine next to me is driving me nuts, I can hear the beep beep beep. Like a damn clock. Sometimes I hold my breath and feel my heart slow down just to set off the buzzer and freak out a nurse. Anything to get that beep beep beep to stop.

* I hate this, I feel so worthless. Can't move much, can't take a bath or a shower by myself, I got tubes running into my arms and into my knee.

* They change my dressings four times a day, the color of them is like dark brownish red, I see them and think how that is my blood there, drying on the gauze.

* The room is nice and all but its not my room, not my bed, not my tv, not my phone. I have my laptop which is nice, my cell phone I hooked up to the back to go online, but this is just another prison to me, another hospital.

* I wanna go home

* I wonder why I pulled my chute. My thoughts were on Sarah at the time, and I wonder why I bothered to pull the cord after I found it stuck.

* I am tired, not just my body, my heart is tired and my soul is exhuasted.

think I will just go for now, sit back and read these posts and try to not think to much.

Good night all.

Darlin', we're here for you ok? Vent all you need.... or don't if you don't feel like it. Whatever you need. Just know there are people out here that care about you. Lots...

 

[Don K Dyck]

Morning everyone, the wounded wonder here.

Just need a few minutes to confess and then back to sleep.

* I am having a hard time with this whole thing, I am not doing well up inside my head.

* I keep falling asleep and reliving the last few seconds before the clamp failed all the way to the ground.

* I remember the impact, the feeling of the earth not moving, the grass slapping my face and the crunch i heard in my chest. I remember lookin gup at my chute floating there next to me, I remember the sound of the airport's emergency wail. Sounded like a air raid siren.

* The doc, who is a nice guy told me about me not be able to sky dive anymore. I see Mike removed that from the posts he printed for me.

* I am not taking this well.

* Sky diving is my life.

* The sound of the monitoring machine next to me is driving me nuts, I can hear the beep beep beep. Like a damn clock. Sometimes I hold my breath and feel my heart slow down just to set off the buzzer and freak out a nurse. Anything to get that beep beep beep to stop.

* I hate this, I feel so worthless. Can't move much, can't take a bath or a shower by myself, I got tubes running into my arms and into my knee.

* They change my dressings four times a day, the color of them is like dark brownish red, I see them and think how that is my blood there, drying on the gauze.

* The room is nice and all but its not my room, not my bed, not my tv, not my phone. I have my laptop which is nice, my cell phone I hooked up to the back to go online, but this is just another prison to me, another hospital.

* I wanna go home

* I wonder why I pulled my chute. My thoughts were on Sarah at the time, and I wonder why I bothered to pull the cord after I found it stuck.

* I am tired, not just my body, my heart is tired and my soul is exhuasted.

think I will just go for now, sit back and read these posts and try to not think to much.

Good night all.

Hey Naded man, you're still in shock - this too will pass.

A mate jumped with the Australian Army and came unstuck. He missed the glory, but he lived to talk about it. Go with the flow, there are many other places where a sky-diver can use his skills.

Peace man