Trouble sleeping as a writer of erotica?

[Rob_Royale]

Strange subject to be sure, but bear with me.
I am a planner. Whether I'm adding new doors to the barn, or building a model or diorama, I plan that shit out to the Nth degree in my brain. Parts needed, measurements, possible issue, etc. This by itself will make it hard to fall asleep.

However, I've recently started writing here. My fourth story is pending as we type. I really enjoy it. However, planner mode kicks in whenever I come up with a new story idea or am stuck on a scene. On top of being something artistic and detailed, it's titillating and fun to think about, so my planner mode kicks into overdrive. I'll lay there for hours thinking about it, to the point where I'll even dream about it when I do fall asleep.

Is anyone else afflicted with this condition? I need a nap.

 

[SimonDoom]

Not exactly.
I'm a light sleeper and early riser, and sometimes I'll wake up earlier than I want to and be unable to go back to sleep, so I just get up and tell myself, "Might as well write sex stories."

 

[Euphony]

I happen to be writing more erotica these days so it *could* be blamed for the inspiration muse cutting into my sleep I suppose.

But really, if it weren't E, it'd be something (I don't think erotica's draw outsizes other pursuits.) Erotica, joke writing, observations, reading synopses, or self improvement journaling, it all fights for that (for me) bewitching time that is relaxed for sleep but mind only starting to drift off.

 

[Lady2020]

Strange subject to be sure, but bear with me.
I am a planner. Whether I'm adding new doors to the barn, or building a model or diorama, I plan that shit out to the Nth degree in my brain. Parts needed, measurements, possible issue, etc. This by itself will make it hard to fall asleep.

However, I've recently started writing here. My fourth story is pending as we type. I really enjoy it. However, planner mode kicks in whenever I come up with a new story idea or am stuck on a scene. On top of being something artistic and detailed, it's titillating and fun to think about, so my planner mode kicks into overdrive. I'll lay there for hours thinking about it, to the point where I'll even dream about it when I do fall asleep.

Is anyone else afflicted with this condition? I need a nap.

I think you found something you enjoy which causes your brain to go into overdrive.

 

[NotWise]

I do that.

There's a risk of spending so much time planning that your writing slows to a crawl. A good mix probably includes some headlong, unplanned dives into the story.

 

[Winter_Fare]

I get into flights of fancy, plot bunnies keep me awake and sometimes I'm irritated enough by them to get the phone out and make notes when I should be asleep (ehem) it's nearly one am and I have work to(morrow)day dammit.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I get into flights of fancy, plot bunnies keep me awake and sometimes I'm irritated enough by them to get the phone out and make notes when I should be asleep (ehem) it's nearly one am and I have work to(morrow)day dammit.

Same thing happens to me. I am in bed and I really want to sleep, but as my brain works on the plot in the background I suddenly get an exciting idea and I just know that I will forget it unless I write it down, so I write notes on the phone, but then sleep comes much harder, especially since my brain keeps coming up with new shit... I actually had to make a rule not to actively think about story plot when going to sleep. The irony is, I am usually insanely productive with ideas when I get into bed...

 

[ElectricBlue]

Is anyone else afflicted with this condition? I need a nap.

Never. My solution, always, is never to plan a story. Let your subconscious do the work, then the writing is easy - you just have to keep up!

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Same thing happens to me. I am in bed and I really want to sleep, but as my brain works on the plot in the background I suddenly get an exciting idea and I just know that I will forget it unless I write it down, so I write notes on the phone, but then sleep comes much harder, especially since my brain keeps coming up with new shit... I actually had to make a rule not to actively think about story plot when going to sleep. The irony is, I am usually insanely productive with ideas when I get into bed...

I always write in my head in bed. I try to turn it off so I can sleep, but it usually just keeps going, especially dialogue. I call it 'Writer's Brain,' since I think a lot of writers have this happen. Sometimes, I'll give up and just get back on the computer and get everything down, so I can try and get some rest. Though, it often turns into an all-nighter, and I realize when the sun's coming up that I've been writing all night.
Not sure what the solution is, since I've tried playing card games and different things online before I go to sleep, to try and get my latest story out of my head. But then the moment I hit the pillow the darn thing still pops back into my head.

 

[ofbuttons]

I'm usually a planner. When I'm writing a non-erotic short story and have to go to bed, too tired to construct sentences but not so tired I can't think about it, my mind is usually racing as I come up with the rest or think up scenes I want to write the next day. Usually, it's when I feel like I have a clear vision of where the story is going and how it'll end. (This is normally subject to change, but still.)

I treat my erotica differently. There is some planning, some main beats I want to hit, but it's mostly intuitive, and I tend to write last thing before bed and stop when I've run out of content to write and I don't really have anything to think about after until it's time for more. Plus, my erotica stories tend to be shortish chapters, so there isn't a lot of lingering.

Still, I know exactly how you feel, just with my other kinds of writing! It's exciting, if not great for sleep.

 

[Duleigh]

I'll lay there for hours thinking about it, to the point where I'll even dream about it when I do fall asleep.

Is anyone else afflicted with this condition? I need a nap.

Yes! I'm a proud "Pantzer" I don't plan out stories to the Nth degree like I would a train layout, but yes, a scene or scenario will come to mind and I'll play with that all night long, unfortunately I fail to write down what I come up with during these self on self sessions but the main elements of what I came up with remain in the morning when I get back to writing.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Not my issue, but one classic strategy is a simple form of meditation. You think of something relaxing, say a balloon ride. Talk yourself through the flight (or whatever), noting details, letting yourself relax. When you land, there’ll be a strongbox waiting. You put the story (or any other issue) in the box and appoint a trustworthy guardian (eg your childhood dog) to watch it overnight, with the clear understanding that you’re not trying to bury the issue or forget it, just putting it in the box overnight and will return to it then. Theoretically, that allows your subconscious to help you relax.

It sounds overly simple, almost silly, but it’s a proven strategy which can be quite effective for some people.

Have a good night.

 

[Voboy]

Nope.

What planning I do tends to happen while I'm walking or at the gym. Or on my commute home.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I think everyone is ignoring the real interesting question here in favour of starting another planner/pantser war. Isn't the fun topic here?

1: Have you ever had a dream featuring your story/the characters from your story?

and to add my own flipped version of the question

2: Have you ever had a dream that you then turned into a story?

I do some planning before going to bed at night (though more on my daily walks), but rarely so much that it interfers with my sleep. I have stayed up until 2am on a work night on occassion because I've been in the flow.

 

[NotWise]

I think everyone is ignoring the real interesting question here in favour of starting another planner/pantser war. Isn't the fun topic here?

1: Have you ever had a dream featuring your story/the characters from your story?

and to add my own flipped version of the question

2: Have you ever had a dream that you then turned into a story?

I do some planning before going to bed at night (though more on my daily walks), but rarely so much that it interfers with my sleep. I have stayed up until 2am on a work night on occassion because I've been in the flow.

I've had dreams about my characters, but they're the semi-waking kind of dreams, not the deep-sleep variety.

I've based several stories on dreams. "Her Dream House," doesn't come off all that dreamy, because I built the story around an aspect of the dream that wasn't all that odd. "Watch Me!" was totally inspired by a deep-sleep dream, but the dreamy aspects were only part of a long story. "Hurricane Twyla" also came more-or-less straight from a dream, and I didn't even try to make it normal. Weird, dreamy things happen all through the story, and not all readers are OK with that.

 

[Rob_Royale]

2: Have you ever had a dream that you then turned into a story?

Oh yes. My story "The Hedonism House" came from a dream, though I flipped the gender and made the protagonist female.

 

[KeithD]

Erotica writing doesn't give me trouble sleeping, but sometimes it helps me wake up and get out of bed. Many of my story ideas are introduced to me in the time in which I'm coming awake in the morning. When I'm awake enough to think there is a story there, that helps me get out of bed to go make a note of it on my projects list before I forget it.

 

[Voboy]

I don't remember my dreams, as a rule. But there have been several times when I've woken up with new ideas and an urge to write them down, so there's that.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Not my issue, but one classic strategy is a simple form of meditation. You think of something relaxing, say a balloon ride. Talk yourself through the flight (or whatever), noting details, letting yourself relax. When you land, there’ll be a strongbox waiting. You put the story (or any other issue) in the box and appoint a trustworthy guardian (eg your childhood dog) to watch it overnight, with the clear understanding that you’re not trying to bury the issue or forget it, just putting it in the box overnight and will return to it then. Theoretically, that allows your subconscious to help you relax.

It sounds overly simple, almost silly, but it’s a proven strategy which can be quite effective for some people.

Have a good night.

I should hire you as my sleep coach, I sleep so terribly. I'll have to give your suggestion a try, though.

 

[JGittes]

TarnishedPenny hit the nail squarely on the head, IMO. As a young man, I'd stay awake thinking through plans and problems for days. Hitting my fifties, though, good sleep (regardless of length) became a necessity, not a luxury, and I developed something of TPs approach.

First, do not bring iPads, smartphones, or any other electronics into the bedroom before sleep (for other purposes, sure.) If my thoughts didn't calm down after a few minutes, I'd visualize one of a few favorite and emotionally calming locations, in detail. For me, it would be Death Valley, Phantom Ranch at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, Morro Bay, Yosemite valley, or the redwoods in Humbolt. I'd visualize taking a slow walk, notice every detail, feel the textures, and breath in every smell. I had varying success for a couple of weeks, then it all clicked together and I could, and still can, relax into sleep quickly.

Two things. I know it all sound woo-woo, but I'm a retired petroleum geologist who popular culture these days believe is hell bent on destroying the world, so woo-woo doesn't work for me. And second, getting to sleep doesn't automatically mean I'll sleep all that long. I'm 70, and long observation tells me that between six and seven hours of sleep is my sweet spot, but if I wake up after four hours, and know I'm not getting back to sleep, I get out of bed. No point in wasting time trying to get back to sleep if it won't come easily after fifteen minutes or so.

On the dream thing; most of my life I've not remembered my dreams. I would occasionally, but not often. During the past two years I've noticed a change in that I'd frequently remember fragments of dreams when I'd wake up. At first I didn't think anything of it, then I noticed a correlation between periods where I'd consistently remember dream fragments and periods where the writing muse seemed to be running laps in my head. The dreams had no direct relationship to plots or characters I was writing, just to having the inclination to write. It has been very pleasant, and again, no woo-woo shit happening here.

Then two weeks ago I couldn't remember my social security number, desperately hoped it was a dream, and as the numbers gradually fell back into place had the thought that getting old can be a real pain in the ass.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Another method I was taught is akin to counting sheep, but it works well for me,

Pick a letter. Now breathe in and think of a noun starting with that letter. Let’s say it was D. Inhale, think of ‘dog’ (you have to be able to picture it), exhale,slowly. Now think of something else starting with that letter, say ‘dumbbell’. Exhale. Then ‘dagger’. Then ‘duck’. Keep going until you cannot think of another D word, then switch to E. ‘Elephant’… ‘Ear’…

I find myself realizing that I’ve lost track, have not been thinking of words. That’s the cue that I’m going to sleep. Start again - Engine’, then ‘Elk’.

And then I’m waking up. Don’t ask me why it works, but it seems fairly useful. YMMV, of course.

 

[MrPixel]

1: Have you ever had a dream featuring your story/the characters from your story?

Last Friday, as a matter of fact, and it was the first time ever. It awakened me at 4:30am and I went right to work. Wrapping up the chapter tonight at ~8K words.

Dr. put me on meds to help with going to sleep after a lengthy bout with insomnia. Nothing serious, just a little assistance in getting drowsy.

 

[Euphony]

Another method I was taught is akin to counting sheep, but it works well for me,

Pick a letter. Now breathe in and think of a noun starting with that letter. Let’s say it was D. Inhale, think of ‘dog’ (you have to be able to picture it), exhale,slowly. Now think of something else starting with that letter, say ‘dumbbell’. Exhale. Then ‘dagger’. Then ‘duck’. Keep going until you cannot think of another D word, then switch to E. ‘Elephant’… ‘Ear’…

I find myself realizing that I’ve lost track, have not been thinking of words. That’s the cue that I’m going to sleep. Start again - Engine’, then ‘Elk’.

And then I’m waking up. Don’t ask me why it works, but it seems fairly useful. YMMV, of course.

Another common strategy is to pick a large number, say 1000, then count backwards in an odd amount you can't really get into a easy groove with, say 3.
Most people can't make it to zero before falling asleep.

Worked for me but I had to change it up to other oddball numbers (1789 down, etc) just b/c I started remembering the original 1k which left just enough thinking room otherwise to let issue thoughts creep in.

 

[Duleigh]

Another method I was taught is akin to counting sheep, but it works well for me...

You sound like this is a bad thing - I LOVE my stories, I can't wait to go to bed so I can spend some time exploring them without having to worry about grammar, punctuation, and spelling

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Hey, me too, but the OP has their own problem.