Trouble acheiving Orgasm

[SeXySiLk]

I am a new user, and recently viewed most of the threads on the message board....I did not find anything about achieving orgasm in these threads. (Not sure if I just didn't go far enough or what) N-E-WAYZ
I was just wondering if anyone could help me with my problem.
I have with my husband for 3 years, and married for 1. I have only achieved orgasm one time in this period of time. It is really frustrating for me, and I would like to know if anyone has any ideas. I have not told my husband this, I have faked orgasms for a VERY long time, and I am sick of faking. I WANT THE REAL THING!!!!!

Help Please.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Well you need to tell us what your man does in bed, I'm sorry to pry but we need to know if we'r gonna help you.

Does he go down on you, does he enjoy foreplay or does he just go sraight at it, we need to know this if we'r gonna help. Oh and sorry to ask this of a lady but how old are you and have you had much expirience.

once again sorry to pry but we need to know.

 

[SeXySiLk]

OUTSIDER

I am 19 years old, my husband is 19...I have been having sex since i was 15 years old, and have only achieved orgasm twice in my sex life. My husband usually loves foreplay, he goes down on me all the time, as do I with him. I seem to have the problem of I have faked so many times, I automatically do it, and don't even think of acheiving orgasm? If that makes any sense at all. LOL

 

[Weird Harold]

OUTSIDER

I am 19 years old, my husband is 19...I have been having sex since i was 15 years old, and have only achieved orgasm twice in my sex life.

Have you ever figured out waht was different about the two exceptions (other than the orgasms that is?)

If you can determine what made those two occasions so special, you will have an idea of what needs to be different now.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Ahhhh I remember being nineteeen once.

Ok I'll give you the standard reply which although old as time is a good one, first of all have you masturbated much..?

I ask this because if you have not this might be a good time and place to start, by masurbating you will discover what make's you come and then you can guide your BF to do it for you.

 

[lala]

hey i'm 19 so thought i'd help

first- the most important rule in sex- if you don't like it, don't do it! period. don't fake it anymore, you'll stay unhappy, and you're lying to your husband, who you should trust above all others, and who should support you above all others- if you want your sex life to get better, you have to be honest- very very honest! provide information, and ask for it in return.

second, i agree with outsider, masturbation does wonders for the sex life- because you have complete freedom, control, and safety you don't need to fake when you're with yourself-you know. when you're by yourself you can find out what does it for ya- and you could consider one idea-

make it your policy not to moan, not to make noise, or move. if he or you does something you like enough to make you do it anyway, you know it was worthy of the action, and should be repeated! if you forget have your husband help remind you.

i also suggest fantasizing. let your mind wander while your husband's hands roam- and let it flow.

there are many more ways to help- tell me what you think of my suggestions so far,...

now go, take a bath and masturbate til you scream!

 

[SeXySiLk]

Well I don't want to upset my husband, and make him feel as if he isn't good enough for me,,, that is why I don't tell him. I want to be able to fix this without telling him. I think all your suggestions are great, for a person that could use them...it isn't that i don't appriciate it though, I really do....I just don't think they apply to me, I have been masturbating since god knows when, and I think that might be part of my problem......I always masturbate, and I LOVE it. Could it be that is the reason I don't orgasm when i have sex because I love masturbation???
I do like sex with my husband, even when i don't orgasm....it fullfills me mentally, and emotionally. I just want to be able to orgasm. Do you think if I stopped masturbating it could help me in this particular situation?

 

[OUTSIDER]

Hmmmmm you'v raised a good point, it is just possible that your body has become so used to orgasming through masturbation that it does not want to cum another way.

Masturbation is very intense and the slower build up of intercoarse might not be enough.

 

[libra-2]

Hi SexySilk
Two points you could think about:
1. Your husband would be more upset if he thought you were'nt telling him that you're not enjoying sex as much as you should be. We all like to think we are satisfying our women, and really want to.
2. If you like masturbating then do it while you are making love with him, after a few times it will become normal to have an orgasm with him and you can start to tail off on the masturbation. It's worth a try.

 

[SeXySiLk]

OUTSIDER
That could very well be true. I am beginning to wish I had never masturbated.


libra-2
I have tried that before, and see the problem is that I can't cum without a vibrator. I have done that with him before, and he said that it makes him too sensitive, and can't stand it to wait for me to cum.

I also thought about him wanting me to tell him, cuz he wants me to be happy, and enjoying it. I think I am going to try telling him that I have been having problems orgasming, and that it seems to not be getting better, and see where that takes me. I would love to be able to just let him know that i was faking, but I am so afraid that will hurt him, he is really sensitive in that area...that is why I faked with him in the first place.

 

[R Nitelight]

If you don't communicate your dissatisfaction, then you're setting yourself up for another fifty years of it. Talk things out with your husband. His feelings may be hurt in the beginning, but in the long run it will be better for the both of you if you work on this problem together.
A hell of a lot of fun, too!

 

[MADDOG]

SeXySiLk, may I ask a personal question? Do you think the problem lie with you or him? Obviously you are capable of orgasming, so it's not physical, but could it be phycological with him? Is there somthing standing between you and complete loss of control? Or, is it just that his techinque needs some work? Or does he lack the... equipment? (No need to answer that last one, but maybe that's part of it. Is it the size of the vibrator that works for you or the vibrations?)

As for telling him you've been faking, don't. It will only hurt him. It serves no purpose other than to make him feel inadequate. But from now on, don't fake it. Talk with him. Tell him what you want to have done. Guide him to do it. If he's anything like me, he'll relish the opportunity to make things even better.

MADDOG

 

[OUTSIDER]

Maddog is bang on when he say's don't tell him, what you might like to say is that you have been having a problem just lately, say that and I'd give odd's he'll ask if there's anything he could do to help you, us guy's really want you gal's to have a good time that's why we always pester you about if you'v had an orgasm or not.

Besy of luck.