Trends

[MzChrista]

I have been giving some thought to the trends I have seen over time since I been in the scene. I wonder how much is just what I see, based on where I live, who I know, and so on. So maybe others can chime in and tell me what they have seen change over time.

When I first started going to kink parties late in the 80s it was all about femdom. Even in clubs that were mixed, there were way more fem that male doms. One club I was in for years had a rule for their parties that limited the number of male subs allowed. Or else there would be so many of them that they would swamp everyone else. You might think, well, that's just that club, but it was the biggest, most well known one around at the time.

What changed things was when everyone went online. All of a sudden there were female subs practically falling out of the sky. There was a big group started here in Michigan just forpeople who met on AOL. All the big parties, like Vicious Valentine in Chicago and Beat Me In St. Louis etc, got HUGE and it was mostly male dom/ female sub. Which of course led to a lot of trouble in some cases. Some clubs that had always been open to all became male dom only. Some that had been pan purged out all the queers. So, the scene got bigger, but split into factions.

After a while, most of those who came into kink on the internet either hooked up and, once they were in couples, stopped coming out in the scene, or they moved on to whatever the next fad was. Turned vegan or started jogging or something, who knows? I wonder how much the changes in the scene reflect what's going on in the bigger part of kink that is never seen at a party or a club.

And now, you have fetLife and al those chicks reading 50 shades and here we go again.

So, what trends have you seen or think you'll see as go along?

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Rope seems to the the flavour of the day, there are groups popping up all over the place.
I have to say I have dabbled as a Top and bottom and it is pretty enjoyable.

 

[seela]

Needles and rope have been increasingly popular in my local scene, at least based on the amount of workshops and forum posts dedicated to those topics. At one point everyone seemed to be really into watersports. Age play threads get a lot of traffic on the local fora as well, but because I don't wish to attend any events anymore, I don't know how this all translates into reality.

There's this one chat room that I've visited once or twice a month for over 10 years (geez, time to move on ), and from everybody's screennames you can notice a lot of trends. 10 years ago the big "it" thing was younger women/older men, then it was cuckolding, then the cougar thing started and the past years it's been mostly young men/older women. BDSM actually used to be more popular about 6 years about than it is now, based on the screennames, that is.

It's also interesting that the standard HNG question used to be do you have big boobs or do you shave, now it seems to be do you have a big butt. And then there's of course this whole shaved/natural trend, which is constantly shifting. But that's not a BDSM thing.

 

[DVS]

Needles and rope have been increasingly popular in my local scene, at least based on the amount of workshops and forum posts dedicated to those topics. At one point everyone seemed to be really into watersports. Age play threads get a lot of traffic on the local fora as well, but because I don't wish to attend any events anymore, I don't know how this all translates into reality.

There's this one chat room that I've visited once or twice a month for over 10 years (geez, time to move on ), and from everybody's screennames you can notice a lot of trends. 10 years ago the big "it" thing was younger women/older men, then it was cuckolding, then the cougar thing started and the past years it's been mostly young men/older women. BDSM actually used to be more popular about 6 years about than it is now, based on the screennames, that is.

It's also interesting that the standard HNG question used to be do you have big boobs or do you shave, now it seems to be do you have a big butt. And then there's of course this whole shaved/natural trend, which is constantly shifting. But that's not a BDSM thing.

Sounds like a group of BDSM wives are getting together for a kink of the month thing. Like a book of the month group, they all try out the kink, then get together and talk over their experiences. Is this what it could be?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Sounds like a group of BDSM wives are getting together for a kink of the month thing. Like a book of the month group, they all try out the kink, then get together and talk over their experiences. Is this what it could be?

Maybe you could moderate the group, DVS? Each member would be required to experience the Kink Of The Month (KOTM) and report back to the group, detailing the experience, how it might have been improved, etc., etc. Any member who failed to submit her report would be required to submit her ass to the moderator for discipline.


Bwahahahahaha! :caning:

[/hijack]

 

[seela]

Sounds like a group of BDSM wives are getting together for a kink of the month thing. Like a book of the month group, they all try out the kink, then get together and talk over their experiences. Is this what it could be?

The community here is understandably very small, so the active members stand out and their interests get discussed on the fora, because they're very active in the discussions and they pull in other people with same interests. Then that active group gets bored and a new group with new interests emerges. That's probably why it looks like everyone's really into the same thing and then a year later it's something else.

Like I wrote, I don't go to any events anymore, so I don't know if that change in trends shows in the IRL events, too.

 

[DVS]

Maybe you could moderate the group, DVS? Each member would be required to experience the Kink Of The Month (KOTM) and report back to the group, detailing the experience, how it might have been improved, etc., etc. Any member who failed to submit her report would be required to submit her ass to the moderator for discipline.


Bwahahahahaha! :caning:

[/hijack]

That sounds interesting. But, if nothing else, it would be fun to just sit back and listen to the women discuss their experiences. I'm an equal opportunity kinkster.

 

[midwestyankee]

One of the larger trends I see in life these days is that since some time in the late '70s or so, people began consuming life rather than living it. By this, I mean that we research the hell out of everything and then treat our experience of it like some kind of consumer trial to be reviewed on Yelp. I think one of the most obvious cases of this is child care (yes, I'll get around to kink, eventually). Children born in the early '80s often had two working parents so Little Bonzo had to go somewhere for the day. Enter Kindercare and three million smaller competitors. Parents invested enormous amounts of time, energy, and money into identifying the PERFECT day care setting for their Perfect Precious Princess. After that, these same parents began to go all Consumer Reports on the public schools and then it was off to the races. We don't live life, we consume it.

Now, kink. You said, "So, the scene got bigger, but split into factions." and I think we can point to similar trends everywhere. Look at entertainment, sports, even business. Many of your Very Big Companies have split up over time into somewhat more specialized firms that each then grew larger. Europe is continually splitting off into smaller and smaller little niche countries. Someday soon I expect to hear that the Left Bank of Paris has become its own country, Fashionalia.

Kink is both consumed in the way that we have become accustomed to consuming all of life and niche-marketed like crazy.

 

[DVS]

The community here is understandably very small, so the active members stand out and their interests get discussed on the fora, because they're very active in the discussions and they pull in other people with same interests. Then that active group gets bored and a new group with new interests emerges. That's probably why it looks like everyone's really into the same thing and then a year later it's something else.

Like I wrote, I don't go to any events anymore, so I don't know if that change in trends shows in the IRL events, too.

Maybe the group needs someone who is a good talker and can make each kink sound interesting. But, I guess that would only work for the first meeting. Then, expectations would probably dwindle. A good talker can only do so much.

 

[MzChrista]

Rope seems to the the flavour of the day, there are groups popping up all over the place.
I have to say I have dabbled as a Top and bottom and it is pretty enjoyable.

I am thinking about that and this may be complete bullshit, cause I'm just winging it here.

I know lots of people love rope work and I appreciate it myself when you see a real expert do it. And I know a few tricks myself. I will write up about whirlybirds sometime if no body else has.

But most of the long time heavy players I know don't give a shit about rope work. Time spent tying is time not playing, so a lot of people just want to cuff em up and get down to business.
Maybe when there are more new people there is more interest in what you might call the more romantic side of things. And I think rope work fits into that side of the equation.

 

[MzChrista]

Needles and rope have been increasingly popular in my local scene, at least based on the amount of workshops and forum posts dedicated to those topics. At one point everyone seemed to be really into watersports. Age play threads get a lot of traffic on the local fora as well, but because I don't wish to attend any events anymore, I don't know how this all translates into reality.

There's this one chat room that I've visited once or twice a month for over 10 years (geez, time to move on ), and from everybody's screennames you can notice a lot of trends. 10 years ago the big "it" thing was younger women/older men, then it was cuckolding, then the cougar thing started and the past years it's been mostly young men/older women. BDSM actually used to be more popular about 6 years about than it is now, based on the screennames, that is.

It's also interesting that the standard HNG question used to be do you have big boobs or do you shave, now it seems to be do you have a big butt. And then there's of course this whole shaved/natural trend, which is constantly shifting. But that's not a BDSM thing.

Goddamn I remember going to discussion groups where all the Domly Doms would get up and say that all female subs had to shave their stuff or they weren't real subs. Hahaha.

One thing I see way more of now is so called forced bi. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe more men are willing to admit to bi feelings now days.

And I get a lot of guys now asking me for Jack off instruction. Now, I had a regular client for a long time who I did that with and it was kind of nice. He would kneel in front of me and jerk off while I leaned in close and talked quietly right into his ear.

But one thing I will not do, as a queer myself, is talk a lot of "admit you're a fag" shit. I am calling that as a limit. I will call a guy a loser, or make fun of his teeny weeny, or whatnot, but I ain't even going to play around with phony gay bashing.

 

[MzChrista]

One of the larger trends I see in life these days is that since some time in the late '70s or so, people began consuming life rather than living it. By this, I mean that we research the hell out of everything and then treat our experience of it like some kind of consumer trial to be reviewed on Yelp. I think one of the most obvious cases of this is child care (yes, I'll get around to kink, eventually). Children born in the early '80s often had two working parents so Little Bonzo had to go somewhere for the day. Enter Kindercare and three million smaller competitors. Parents invested enormous amounts of time, energy, and money into identifying the PERFECT day care setting for their Perfect Precious Princess. After that, these same parents began to go all Consumer Reports on the public schools and then it was off to the races. We don't live life, we consume it.

Now, kink. You said, "So, the scene got bigger, but split into factions." and I think we can point to similar trends everywhere. Look at entertainment, sports, even business. Many of your Very Big Companies have split up over time into somewhat more specialized firms that each then grew larger. Europe is continually splitting off into smaller and smaller little niche countries. Someday soon I expect to hear that the Left Bank of Paris has become its own country, Fashionalia.

Kink is both consumed in the way that we have become accustomed to consuming all of life and niche-marketed like crazy.

That's an interesting perspective.

Maybe it's a related thing, but it bothers me that it seems like people are recording their lives instead of living them. Ok, you are at a restaurant having a great meal. Instead of yapping on Facebook or Twitter, shut the fuck up and taste the food already.

 

[YourCaptor]

Tumblr

Maybe pets and littles.

 

[IrisAlthea]

That's an interesting perspective.

Maybe it's a related thing, but it bothers me that it seems like people are recording their lives instead of living them. Ok, you are at a restaurant having a great meal. Instead of yapping on Facebook or Twitter, shut the fuck up and taste the food already.

Yes, this!
I was at a show at one of my daughters school, standing in the back of the room.
Before me was a field of held up smartphones and parents looking at the screens instead of looking at their relatively small kids singing.

 

[seela]

Yes, this!
I was at a show at one of my daughters school, standing in the back of the room.
Before me was a field of held up smartphones and parents looking at the screens instead of looking at their relatively small kids singing.

That is just sad.

My favorite, well "favorite": people in museums walking past the paintings and other artifacts holding their videocameras or phones pointed at them instead of looking at them. I've seen groups of Asian tourists walk in lines in museums, all taking video and looking very eager to get out of there, never stopping to actually look at the paintings themselves.

I have a Japanese friend who works summers in Brussels as a tour guide, so I asked her what's going on with that. She said that a lot of Japanese people come to Europe not really to experience it, but to "do" it. They have such tight schedules because they try to squeeze everything into that time they are in Europe, that they can't really concentrate on anything. So they just run through museums and such and shoot video, then when they get home, they watch the videos and show them to family and friends. Some apparently also skype while they travel so that people at home can see the sights, too.

Understandable, sort of, because Japan is a long way from Europe, but still sad.

 

[MzChrista]

Yes, this!
I was at a show at one of my daughters school, standing in the back of the room.
Before me was a field of held up smartphones and parents looking at the screens instead of looking at their relatively small kids singing.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

See, nobody ever thought I would get old and now it looks like I might, and one thing I am learning is that sometimes you remember things better than they really were and that's a good thing. I can see how you'd want to have your kid singing on record, but you know what? If you don't, as you get older your kid is going to be a better and better singer in your memories and someday you'll think the little snotnose was another Barbara Streisand.

 

[KoPilot]

Tumblr

Maybe pets and littles.

God tumblr doms are ridic.

I hope pet play becomes more popular... maybe then I'll have an easier time finding pictures of boy kittens for inspiration.

 

[MzChrista]

I strongly suspect that my 11 year old is genuinely tone deaf. As a child she always asked people singing around her to stop, though music on the radio or TV was fine.

She just joined choir.

I doubt they can help her, I just hope there isn't too much teasing there.

~~~

I think I had a psuedo senior moment, and forgot what thread I was posting in sorry. I looks like my post was a least relevant to the previous one, so I'll leave it.

Ha. I read it and thought it belonged just fine.