Trapped...Confused

[pplwatching]

I asked her that if we had no children, would she still wish to be married to me. She hesitated long enough for me to already know the answer.

What either of you would do if you didn't have kids is irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that you do have kids, and responsibilities to them.

I am not sure exactly how we will navigate this, but we are in the process of separating on a trial basis where the kids and her stay in the house and I move out but come back to spend time with everyone on the weekends.

IMHO the whole concept of a trial basis is flawed. I realize that you are hurting right now, and I sympathize with you. My marriage was sexless for long enough to know how badly it hurts. Either you are going to work on your marriage, or you are not. The problem is that a trial is nothing more than saying "Let's see if we like being apart well enough to stay apart."

It is my opinion that often times one person gives up because they feel that the other person has given up already. If either of you think that you might want to stay married, then IMHO you would be better served by staking out that position. If you both think you might want to at that point then forget about a separation, and roll up your sleeves and get to work. You're not abusing your wife. You gave us a glowing review of her. Write down your list of why you might stay married and compare it to hers. Save a separation for when you know that you want to be divorced. At that point it won't matter.

I wish you and your wife the best.