Transitioning from 'normie' writing to erotica (and from Reddit to Literotica)

[Femininitas]

I've had some kind comments on my stories here so far, but I recognise my own writing patterns and would love some pointers from those who've been doing this longer than me.
My most popular story so far is this one:

https://literotica.com/s/thats-why-they-call-it-ecstasy

 

[AlinaX]

The constantly shifting tense is very distracting:

And Sarah - with her striking green eyes, jet black hair, and hourglass figure - attracted more than her fair share of attention. Matt, six foot three, and Andy with the build of a rugby player (albeit an out of practice one). When they step in, the creeps disappear. She trusts them like brothers.

So when Andy had suggested they take MDMA together at the Festival, she didn't hesitate. She'd always wanted to try it, and what better time than now?

Plus third-person present tense is distracting in its own right. It can be used effectively and very atmospherically, but if you're not using for deliberate effect then it's probably a wrong choice.

Also, I'm possibly in the wrong headspace at the moment, or maybe it's the drugs and shifting tenses, but it feels creepy rather than erotic. I don't know.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm with Alina on this - the third person present tense narration has an odd feel to it. I can't think of many stories that use it, and I think there's a reason why.

It might contribute to the mdma experience, although I know nothing about that - there's a sort of disembodied feel to the story.

 

[darkride]

I've had some kind comments on my stories here so far, but I recognise my own writing patterns and would love some pointers from those who've been doing this longer than me.
My most popular story so far is this one:

https://literotica.com/s/thats-why-they-call-it-ecstasy

We all have patterns to how we write, formed over the years as we learn structure and have our work critiqued by teachers and peers and whoever else, together with the headspace we develop to explore these stories and manipulate them into something that hopefully is pleasing to someone else.

It's like our own personal fingerprint.

Of course, learning how to break free from that can help you to be a better writer. Try exploring writing in different formats. Try write a short piece full of description. Try write a dramatic monologue. By exploring mediums other than your comfort zone, you'll find yourself able to draw on those experiences, those new structures, to broaden your scope.