Transexual experience.

[CasinoNight]

Hi

I just signed up yesterday, I've done a bit of lurking and I'm going to go straight in the deep end and hopefully get a discussion going.

A bit of background: For the sake of simplicity I'll say I'm bixsexal in that I'm attracted to men and women and I've had sexual experiences with both. I've never actually 'come out', but neither am I 'in the closet'... most of my friends know and I'm not shy about being seen with either men or women, but if the subject never raises its head I won't make a point of telling people, and some people I'd be loath to tell unless it was 100% necessary. I'm mostly attracted to more effeminate men which moved on to an interest in crossdressing (don't ask me how) then started to lead to an attraction to transexuals.

For a long time now I've been amassing a rather large collection of 'tranny, ladyboy and shemale' porn with the thought that it's nothing more than a fantasy. But this changed when I went to Amsterdam this weekend just gone. It occurred to me I could live out this fantasy in the red light district... so I did... and it was fantastic (it was helped by the fact that she was very into it herself). Of course having sex with a prostitute fulfills only a base desire and I'd be reluctant to say the experience was life changing. I do however want to expore this futher without incurring the label 'tranny chaser', which is not my understanding of myself. I want to meet a transexual with the intention of getting to know them both mentally and physically.

That's basically it. Is anyone in or been in a similar situation? How would I go about 'finding' someone transgender to get to know without being seen as a tranny chaser?



(p.s. If anyone is interested: I found this forum because it was listed as an external link on one of my videos on Youtube, which I assume must mean someone posted it in a music thread on here)

Carlos

Edit: I'm 23, btw, if anyone is curious.

 

[sarod]

I am curious to carlos. Shemales turn me on. Have you ever seen a hermaphrodite. Now that is hot. Why choose between pussy and dick when you can have both in one luscious package?

 

[CasinoNight]

I am curious to carlos. Shemales turn me on. Have you ever seen a hermaphrodite. Now that is hot. Why choose between pussy and dick when you can have both in one luscious package?

I'd be right to assume you're being sarcastic?

Can I just clarify that my attraction is not simply fetishistic, and I'm concerned that I'm being seen to be objectifying transexuals.

 

[PhoebeGB]

Reality Check

Do you have any idea that there are real Transsexuals leading real lives out here? Not just 'shemale' porn stars or faked hermaphrodites that somebody downloaded from a website...

We're not just curiosities that you have to travel to exotic places to find.

 

[CasinoNight]

Phoebe, I'm sorry I've come across as I have. I'm just having trouble explaining what I mean.
But that's exactly the advice I'm looking for. How to avoid offending someone in the way I've offended you.

 

[PhoebeGB]

It's not so much offence as disappointment that most people's first view of transsexual women is formed from the portrayal from the extreme end of the spectrum. I've come to accept that for many transsexuals the sex industry is the only way they can make a living. For the majority though, the main goal is to live as women, not as 'oddities'.

Don't get me wrong... we have sex lives, just not quite as portrayed in fantasy porn.


Update - I know of at least one Amsterdam 'shemale' who is actually a gay man who plays the 'transsexual' role to make some cash, and then changes back when his shift is over.

 

[korizon]

Each his own, but I find the whole idea disgusting.

 

[PhoebeGB]

One wonders what you're doing in this forum if you hold such views.

 

[alaskabibear]

Each his own, but I find the whole idea disgusting.

I guess I'm a bit confused? In your past posts you have put photos of yourself in a dress, and set some links to what you said were really hot transgender stories.

All are amazing and part of the same series.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=243902

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=249363

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=254487

So either you're being facetious - or your one confused guy to judge someone else as being disgusting. (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you just made a stupid joke)

 

[alaskabibear]

Hi

I just signed up yesterday, I've done a bit of lurking and I'm going to go straight in the deep end and hopefully get a discussion going.

A bit of background: For the sake of simplicity I'll say I'm bixsexal in that I'm attracted to men and women and I've had sexual experiences with both. I've never actually 'come out', but neither am I 'in the closet'... most of my friends know and I'm not shy about being seen with either men or women, but if the subject never raises its head I won't make a point of telling people, and some people I'd be loath to tell unless it was 100% necessary. I'm mostly attracted to more effeminate men which moved on to an interest in crossdressing (don't ask me how) then started to lead to an attraction to transexuals.

For a long time now I've been amassing a rather large collection of 'tranny, ladyboy and shemale' porn with the thought that it's nothing more than a fantasy. But this changed when I went to Amsterdam this weekend just gone. It occurred to me I could live out this fantasy in the red light district... so I did... and it was fantastic (it was helped by the fact that she was very into it herself). Of course having sex with a prostitute fulfills only a base desire and I'd be reluctant to say the experience was life changing. I do however want to expore this futher without incurring the label 'tranny chaser', which is not my understanding of myself. I want to meet a transexual with the intention of getting to know them both mentally and physically.

That's basically it. Is anyone in or been in a similar situation? How would I go about 'finding' someone transgender to get to know without being seen as a tranny chaser?



(p.s. If anyone is interested: I found this forum because it was listed as an external link on one of my videos on Youtube, which I assume must mean someone posted it in a music thread on here)

Carlos

Edit: I'm 23, btw, if anyone is curious.

Carlos,
First welcome to Lit.
I am taking you at your word that you truly desire to try to develop a relationship with a trans person. I'm also assuming you are interested in true trans-gendered/ trans-sexual people and not advanced cross dressers or fetish homosexuals (not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just a different subject). If I might make a couple of suggestions;
1. Put the commercial porn away for awhile. You have obviously only learned about trans people from porn - I say this simply because of the terms you use, such as tranny, shemale, etc. The use of these terms gives the impression that you are in fact simply into chasing a "fetish". Also, it is offensive to many trans people.
2. Do a web search for some more scholarly work about the subject - how past cultures have viewed this; how the trans person feels about themselves/their needs/there desires for life; the scientific data which shows that such issues occur from birth or a very early age (e.g. not as the result of later life "fetish"); etc.
3. And finally the purpose of #1 and #2 is to help you begin to realize more and more that these people are just that - people. Each person is a totally unique individual. If you desire to build a relationship with such a person it will be no different than trying to build one with a woman or a man. Some you will like and be attracted to, others will be a complete turn off.

Hope this helps a bit - you might also ask for a trans person to chat with you in private for the purpose of trying to truly learn about the issues. All of the trans gendered people I have spoken to have been absolutely some of the kindest people here on Lit. Good luck.

 

[korizon]

I guess I'm a bit confused? In your past posts you have put photos of yourself in a dress, and set some links to what you said were really hot transgender stories.

So either you're being facetious - or your one confused guy to judge someone else as being disgusting. (I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you just made a stupid joke)

Right, because there's no difference between role playing and being a transvestite/shemale.

 

[Etoile]

Right, because there's no difference between role playing and being a transvestite/shemale.

What you are doing is called being a transvestite. What this thread is referring to is called being transgender. (Shemale, if you must.)

Transvestite = wears clothes of the opposite sex. Quite often are heterosexual males with no desire to become a woman...they just like wearing the clothes.

Transgender = unhappy with the gender they are born into. Can be just about anybody.

If you're going to be an ass, at least have some clue what you're talking about.

 

[Etoile]

Carlos,
First welcome to Lit.
I am taking you at your word that you truly desire to try to develop a relationship with a trans person. I'm also assuming you are interested in true trans-gendered/ trans-sexual people and not advanced cross dressers or fetish homosexuals (not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just a different subject). If I might make a couple of suggestions;
1. Put the commercial porn away for awhile. You have obviously only learned about trans people from porn - I say this simply because of the terms you use, such as tranny, shemale, etc. The use of these terms gives the impression that you are in fact simply into chasing a "fetish". Also, it is offensive to many trans people.
2. Do a web search for some more scholarly work about the subject - how past cultures have viewed this; how the trans person feels about themselves/their needs/there desires for life; the scientific data which shows that such issues occur from birth or a very early age (e.g. not as the result of later life "fetish"); etc.
3. And finally the purpose of #1 and #2 is to help you begin to realize more and more that these people are just that - people. Each person is a totally unique individual. If you desire to build a relationship with such a person it will be no different than trying to build one with a woman or a man. Some you will like and be attracted to, others will be a complete turn off.

Hope this helps a bit - you might also ask for a trans person to chat with you in private for the purpose of trying to truly learn about the issues. All of the trans gendered people I have spoken to have been absolutely some of the kindest people here on Lit. Good luck.

Wow ABB, super fantastic post! I agree that it sounds like Carlos is being serious and not just digging the "best of both worlds spurt spurt" thing. He seems to genuinely be concerned about how he comes across, and that means a LOT.

Welcome to Lit, Carlos

 

[alaskabibear]

Right, because there's no difference between role playing and being a transvestite/shemale.

I guess now I'll rescind the "benefit of the doubt" and retype what I first wrote earlier but deleted.

You originally said; "...I find the whole idea disgusting." Your problem is that you are basing your opinions and thus your comments on "ideas" rather than facts. Your "idea" of the issues regarding trans-gendered humans and the scientific facts are virtual poles apart.

Again I'll offer you the benefit of the doubt and assume you mis-read the OP. If you'll check, Carlos is interested in meeting a "transexual"/"transgendered" person. Not a sex-worker, not a porn star, not any kind of "role player" - a human being. You seem to be stuck on the term"transvestite/shemale" - which makes me think that it is you who is the only one interested in "role players". Is this the extent of your knowledge on the subject?

However, if in fact you truly do mean to say that transgendered humans are "role playing" - well, in that case I've already spent more time on you that your worth, because obviously your mind is not capable of much beyond vague "ideas".

PS. no need to respond to me as I'm done with you - but if you did misread the OP it would be nice if you said so and offered an apology to the many fine "trans - sexual" people who you probably offended.

 

[Etoile]

(nevermind, I figured out what you meant)

 

[korizon]

I guess now I'll rescind the "benefit of the doubt" and retype what I first wrote earlier but deleted.

You originally said; "...I find the whole idea disgusting." Your problem is that you are basing your opinions and thus your comments on "ideas" rather than facts. Your "idea" of the issues regarding trans-gendered humans and the scientific facts are virtual poles apart.

Again I'll offer you the benefit of the doubt and assume you mis-read the OP. If you'll check, Carlos is interested in meeting a "transexual"/"transgendered" person. Not a sex-worker, not a porn star, not any kind of "role player" - a human being. You seem to be stuck on the term"transvestite/shemale" - which makes me think that it is you who is the only one interested in "role players". Is this the extent of your knowledge on the subject?

However, if in fact you truly do mean to say that transgendered humans are "role playing" - well, in that case I've already spent more time on you that your worth, because obviously your mind is not capable of much beyond vague "ideas".

PS. no need to respond to me as I'm done with you - but if you did misread the OP it would be nice if you said so and offered an apology to the many fine "trans - sexual" people who you probably offended.

You are a blithering idiot. If you can't figure out what I meant by my post, find the nearest beam in your house and hang yourself.

 

[Etoile]

You are a blithering idiot. If you can't figure out what I meant by my post, find the nearest beam in your house and hang yourself.

Retard.

 

[PhoebeGB]

I'll post a link to my discussion thread on Transsexual Women and wait to see if any of it sinks in.

I'm unable to speak from the viewpoint of TransMen but I hope that there might be a similar post some time to give an idea of life as an F2M Transsexual.

I'll hold back on using any emotive language (as I Usually do) for the moment, but if I find that this board is becoming T-phobic then I would suggest that the T is removed from the title 'GLBT Chatter' so that we know who is and isn't welcome.

And thanks for all the references to 'shemales' ... [sarcasm] we just LOVE being classed as 'chicks with dicks' [/sarcasm]

 

[Etoile]

I'll hold back on using any emotive language (as I Usually do) for the moment, but if I find that this board is becoming T-phobic then I would suggest that the T is removed from the title 'GLBT Forum' so that we know who is and isn't welcome.

I don't think that's necessary. You may have noticed complaints about the lack of lesbian topics on this board - how it's mostly bisexuals and bicurious people, especially guys. As with that issue, I will say: the board is what you make it. Everyone is welcome, at no time will transfolks be excluded. If you have a problem with what some people say, you need to address that with those people specifically; that's the point of the "free speech" issue on Lit and it's why most moderators are hands-off about the topics here.

 

[PhoebeGB]

There is more than a subtle difference between a lack of lesbian content and direct T-phobic comments, Etoile.

 

[Etoile]

There is more than a subtle difference between a lack of lesbian content and direct T-phobic comments, Etoile.

Perhaps my point wasn't clear. Neither the moderators nor the administrators restrict what content can be posted here. It happens that the GLBT Chatter section has rules about gay-bashing personal attacks, but beyond that anything goes, just as it does on the rest of Lit. If someone is unhappy with what another poster says, they can choose between confronting the person and leaving the board. At no time will posts that are within the rules of Literotica and GLBT Chatter be altered or removed.

I find transphobia as vile as you do - one doesn't have to be trans to be trans-sensitive. But as a moderator, my job is to uphold the rules as they have been set out. There are plenty of things that I don't like reading here, but I leave them alone.

I don't need to be lectured about my job here; I know it and perform it perfectly well. Again, if you don't like something someone has said, you can either respond to them or leave. That's what Lit is about. Many other boards have moderation of unsavory ideas, but Lit is not like that. Maybe it's not for everyone.

And "gay-bashing" includes trans-bashing, lest you try to call me on that one.

 

[PhoebeGB]

You see Etoile, it's like this... I'm not an activist or anything, but I find that as a Transsexual woman I have to jump in and say something because whereas everybody seems to know what Gay and Lesbian people are all about, there is such a lot of misunderstanding about Transgendered people due to wildly inaccurate stereotypes... and I'm not a moderator here ... I shouldn't be the one who has to step forward and 'man' the barricades if and when something offensive is posted. I don't have the time or the disposition to get involved in 'flame wars' and I'm sure you don't want to see that sort of behavior here.

The important thing to be noted in my previous post was that I said "if I find that this board is becoming T-phobic..." and not that it already was in any way.

I'm not trying to call you, I have great respect for anyone who takes up the mantle of moderator because it's a thankless job.

 

[dave's thing]

You are a blithering idiot. If you can't figure out what I meant by my post, find the nearest beam in your house and hang yourself.

Agrees with Etoile, only bigger......

Supreme RETARD

 

[PhoebeGB]

See. Once again, a thread started by somebody with a genuine interest in REAL transsexuals (rather than faked pics & vids of 'hermaphrodites' or pictures of 'huge shemale cocks') degenerates into name-calling and flaming. Is this the way that this forum is going to be run?

So much for CasinoNight's "hope" to get a discussion going... the poor guy's probably been scared off to some other venue.

I'm truly disheartened.

 

[alaskabibear]

You see Etoile, it's like this... I'm not an activist or anything, but I find that as a Transsexual woman I have to jump in and say something because whereas everybody seems to know what Gay and Lesbian people are all about, there is such a lot of misunderstanding about Transgendered people due to wildly inaccurate stereotypes... and I'm not a moderator here ... I shouldn't be the one who has to step forward and 'man' the barricades if and when something offensive is posted. I don't have the time or the disposition to get involved in 'flame wars' and I'm sure you don't want to see that sort of behavior here.

The important thing to be noted in my previous post was that I said "if I find that this board is becoming T-phobic..." and not that it already was in any way.

I'm not trying to call you, I have great respect for anyone who takes up the mantle of moderator because it's a thankless job.

PhoebeGB,

The reason I jumped in on this is precisely because the trans-people I have had the pleasure to get to know a bit generally don't desire to confront someone who is being rude &/or insensitive. They simply disappear. I hate it when that happens because in my experience these folk are some the most enlightened and kindest people here. But I do agree with Etoile on the censorship - we all want to have free speech here and the best way to put those who bother me out of my life is to use the ignore feature.

I hope my "defense" in this case didn't cause more strife than good - if it did, I apologize to you and assure you it was not intended to hurt or offend trans-folk. I tried to be gentle with the poster who in my opinion either didn't understand or was actually trying to hurt others - however, in the end it seemed to me that he was intending to be rude to people I care for. It is very seldom that I do that, but there have been a couple of people over the years that just beg for it. They are mostly either poorly educated or too immature to have any sense - but that is no excuse for them to use words to hurt others.

But I do ask that you not leave. For every transgendered person who leaves, it just leaves the rest that much more isolated. As for me, count me as a supporter of trans issues and let's all try to use the forum for enlightenment (knowing that we'll have a few "uglies" who try to stir things up now and then.)