trangendered

[Tymeless]

Whether MTF or FTM, anybody who decides to undergo the process of correcting their bodies to match their mind & soul, gets nothing but total respect from me.
I would urge anybody to actually read up on the mentally draining and long tortuous path that the person must undergo to make this correction before they actually comment on it.
And the best comment is I will support you, I will love you & I will be there every step of the way, to help you achieve your dream.

Tymeless, I would like to say to you & other girls like yourself who are going through this, that their are some men like myself who do understand what you are going through, who can treat you, as you deserve to be treated, and who will hug you when times are hard and you are feeling down.

i thank you kindly and there are several men out there that are kind an understanding and i appreciate it. while i'm not completely jaded on me i am very much only attracted to women.

you know the thing is yes its not safe thats why we do it under the supervision of doctors and others. No I'm not happy i have to do this but its a choice i have to make that i've been informed on the dangers and it comes down to a choice between my possible negative side effects or living my life completely and utterly unhappy. soon as you can understand that you can understand us until then you probably won't have a chance with a transexual.

 

[MyFriend27]

I Respect People Who have to Make Difficult choses in Their LIves

And clearly someone deciding to "become a female" is truly a difficult choice and i will support their decision but I believe the measures are extremely drastic.
Yes it wasnt thought of overnight and research was conducted profusely. I have heard the horror stories i have seen the doctor's bills your penis gets smaller you dont shoot well its just crazy.
Some transexuals end up worse then before. Some look so damn fake. Some look outrageous. Some look like guys. And many are so gorgeous.
No i dont truly understand becoming a woman because i dont feel that way and i am proud to be who i am and what sex i am.
And yes i understand the want but i suppose you belive its a need to do the surgery.
But does all this add up to being a female. If u keep your plumbing dont take the drugs or hormones and dont do the surgery does that mean you are still trapped in a man's body? I guess a person must really feel they need to change drastically and look and feel like a woman to become one. You all admit it yourself its about how you feel and what your heart thinks and inside not on the outside.

So to cosmetically change your body one way to make u feel whole and if that is what makes u feel whole and happy and u fit in and its who you were born to be then great. I believe people who dont like their nose get the rhino. NO breasts get implants. I am all for plastic surgery but the other stuff is what scares me. I guess we can equate becoming a transsexual to major transformation plastic surgery to better a person's lives and outlook and to create better and happier times.
Like any surgery beware of the risks, the pain, and posiible dissatisfaction. Get a great doctor and find a support group. Be close with loved ones and ignore the church. Believe me all the power to u. The surgery is not reversable. I repeat it is not reversable and its expensive and you may not have the same sex life as before.

If everything works out and you feel great and you look great and your sex life is great and it will make you happy then i say good luck. You cannot put a price on happiness and Tyme i hope things work out great. This has to be the biggest decision a person can make and i support you 100%

 

[Etoile]

I have heard the horror stories i have seen the doctor's bills your penis gets smaller you dont shoot well its just crazy.

Well, if somebody isn't actually male, then I wouldn't think reduced distance or size would really matter. How is it a horror story? Well, the doctor's bills are horrific! But insurance sometimes covers parts of it.

Some transexuals end up worse then before. Some look so damn fake. Some look outrageous. Some look like guys. And many are so gorgeous.

So wait...whether or not somebody is attractive determines whether or not they are the gender they say they are? Lots of women look like guys. Lots of guys look like women. Lots of people look really freaky. But I wouldn't say that looks determine whether somebody is female or not.

But does all this add up to being a female. If u keep your plumbing dont take the drugs or hormones and dont do the surgery does that mean you are still trapped in a man's body? I guess a person must really feel they need to change drastically and look and feel like a woman to become one. You all admit it yourself its about how you feel and what your heart thinks and inside not on the outside.

Are you saying that if somebody has the surgery, then they have become a female, but if they don't have the surgery then they are really still male? Well, I suppose that's a possible interpretation. I had thought you meant that there is NO WAY a man can become a woman. That's what I would disagree with...I think it IS possible for a man to become a woman, and vice versa.

You might be interested in reading this website: http://www.tsroadmap.com/

You cannot put a price on happiness and Tyme i hope things work out great. This has to be the biggest decision a person can make and i support you 100%

Now there you and I are in agreement.

 

[MyFriend27]

That is a great Website

Great Website. Nice to know their are people in this world that care about other things then $

 

[MyFriend27]

I am only disputing the fact that after everything is completed

and the surgery goes accordingly and you suffered through the pain emotionally, physically, and psychologicaly you will still not truly be a female. So is something so drastic worth all the consequences?
Those were my major points and nothing more.
I am only guessing what can be done today medically to help transform a person is worth all the above.

 

[Tymeless]

myfriend its not about sex at all, its not about genetics at all, its about making our body match our minds, without doing so anyone with severe gender dysphoria will either a become suicidal and kill themselves, or b live very unhappy and more then likely unproductive lives, these are the facts behind it. Do i wish i could accept the conflict between my male body and my female brain, yes i do. I have tried and tried to deny the inner female and go on living my life as a male and time and time again i've become so miserable that i know for a fact that i have to go through with becoming a female. You don't have to understand or agree with the methods but if other females can accept me as a woman then i am a woman, and vice versa if men can accept transmen as men then they are men.

 

[Etoile]

and the surgery goes accordingly and you suffered through the pain emotionally, physically, and psychologicaly you will still not truly be a female.

So let me ask you this. What makes a person truly a female? Is it having a pussy and breasts? Is it wearing dresses and makeup? Is it using the women's restroom in public places? What are your criteria for someone being "truly a female" ?

So is something so drastic worth all the consequences?

For many it is very simple. Change, or die.

 

[StrixVaria]

I agree. For many it is Change or Die.

Jenny, a roommate a few years ago, tried to either commit suicide or remove her testicles - I'm not sure which. But, I came home to find blood everywhere and Jenny in a heap on the tile floor of the bathroom.

I wrapped her in a blanket and rushed to the ER. It's not funny, it's not a joke - it's deadly serious.

If you aren't in a position where you are contemplating self surgery, then you probably aren't TS. If you can't imagine being without "slim jim and the twins", then you definately aren't TS. That's pretty much the bottom line there.

 

[naughtyinsilk]

myfriend its not about sex at all, its not about genetics at all, its about making our body match our minds, without doing so anyone with severe gender dysphoria will either a become suicidal and kill themselves, or b live very unhappy and more then likely unproductive lives, these are the facts behind it. Do i wish i could accept the conflict between my male body and my female brain, yes i do. I have tried and tried to deny the inner female and go on living my life as a male and time and time again i've become so miserable that i know for a fact that i have to go through with becoming a female. You don't have to understand or agree with the methods but if other females can accept me as a woman then i am a woman, and vice versa if men can accept transmen as men then they are men.

I think it doesnt even matters what other people accept you as or not. Your sex is determined by whats inside your mind and not by what form your body actually takes. The surgery just matches hopefully both up, but even thats not necessary, hence you can be a man without having the surgery to give you a penis, or become a women without breast implants.

Etoile, I think you are wasting your breath on MyFriend27 he obviously has set his mind with his own definition of what a man or a woman is, and wont try to understand the info or opinions he has been given.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Change or Die.

Not really. There are many transgendered people who live hapilly as their preffered gender, without ever getting SRS. The thing is, SRS is a cosmetic surgery. It maybe one with strongly desireable consequences, but that's true about pretty-much all cosmetic surgery.
More-over, it's an imperfectcosmetic surgery. It's not like it actually gives you a penis or gives you a vagina; it just takes some skin and tissue from your limbs and belly to make a rod of flesh in your crotch area, or turns your penis inside-out to make it more resemble a vagina (respectively).

I have often pondered whether I would be happier if I wasn't born the sex I was. But, ultimately, I (like many people) would rather have the real deal between my legs (whichever deal that happened to be), than anything fake.

 

[naughtyinsilk]

I agree. For many it is Change or Die.

I agree with this sentiment, and although it isnt the necessary course for all it is the course for many. When I took my G/F "K" through the procedure over twenty years ago, the suicide rate amongst the TS community in the UK was incredibly high. At that time, there was no help on the NHS with it at all, all the operations & hormone treatments had to be funded by the person themselves. Hence at that time the number of TS's involved in prostitution as a way of raising the money. The situation is a lot better now, and there is a lot more understanding.
But to put it in perspective in 1982, six people who were being treated by the same consultant as "K" killed themselves & another 4 attempted it. It just got to the point where they couldnt live with the physical bodies they had anymore.

 

[Tymeless]

I agree with this sentiment, and although it isnt the necessary course for all it is the course for many. When I took my G/F "K" through the procedure over twenty years ago, the suicide rate amongst the TS community in the UK was incredibly high. At that time, there was no help on the NHS with it at all, all the operations & hormone treatments had to be funded by the person themselves. Hence at that time the number of TS's involved in prostitution as a way of raising the money. The situation is a lot better now, and there is a lot more understanding.
But to put it in perspective in 1982, six people who were being treated by the same consultant as "K" killed themselves & another 4 attempted it. It just got to the point where they couldnt live with the physical bodies they had anymore.

glad she made it through transition!

thats the hard thing about all this is that no matter how hard we try to fit in and live with the hand dealt us its to hard and we feel we are living a lie. So we change the body to match our mind nothing more nothing less. I personally may not go through the bottom surgery just because of the risk and the lack of it being the real deal. ask me again once i'm further in my transition if its important to me or not!

 

[Paige.]

I have read almost every post in this thread and I am in absolute AWE of all of you.
I am in no position to contribute with any comments but I want to say I feel very humble. I have learned much here and wish to thank those that have contributed and offered support.

I love you all

 

[Tymeless]

I have read almost every post in this thread and I am in absolute AWE of all of you.
I am in no position to contribute with any comments but I want to say I feel very humble. I have learned much here and wish to thank those that have contributed and offered support.

I love you all

thanks paige that means alot coming from a beautiful young lady like yourself inside and out!

 

[naughtyinsilk]

glad she made it through transition!

I am happy to report that not only has she made it through the transition but she now has a wonderful life which has made her happy & fulfilled. She is now Head Of Science at a grammar school, and has been married to another lesbian exgirlfriend of mine for the last ten years. Its ironic that the rules in the UK which prevent you changing your sex from male to female on your birth certificate worked to her advantage. I gave her away to her partner in a proper civil marriage where both brides wore matching wedding dresses.

I hope when you have achieved the transition that you desire that you also find the happiness & fulfillment she has

 

[Tymeless]

for the most part i am happy now since i know i will be the woman i wanna be eventually!

 

[Etoile]

Not really. There are many transgendered people who live hapilly as their preffered gender, without ever getting SRS. The thing is, SRS is a cosmetic surgery. It maybe one with strongly desireable consequences, but that's true about pretty-much all cosmetic surgery.

Some say yes, some say no. Some people need it to be happy...to be psychologically satisfied, to be complete. Some people don't need it to feel positive about themselves, and that's great...they are saving money and reducing certain health risks (like dying due to improperly administered anesthesia). In the cases of "Change or Die," then it is not just cosmetic surgery, it is lifesaving surgery. For somebody who says to herself, "I am not a complete woman unless I have a vagina, and I am not happy unless I am a complete woman," then it's necessary surgery from a psychiatric standpoint. For somebody who says "my genitals do not define me," then it's not necessary.

There are health risks whether you do it or not, though. I saw something recently about a non-op transman who had ovarian cancer. He has been living for a male for years, only his wife knew. And now he was a man...with ovarian cancer. Likewise, even if a transwoman DOES have SRS, she is still at risk for prostate cancer.

More-over, it's an imperfectcosmetic surgery. It's not like it actually gives you a penis or gives you a vagina; it just takes some skin and tissue from your limbs and belly to make a rod of flesh in your crotch area, or turns your penis inside-out to make it more resemble a vagina (respectively).

Now you sound like that other person on this thread. Who are you to pass judgment on a trans person's genitalia? And if you mean that they're not functional, that's not correct - they function just fine. So I'm not really sure why you're suggesting that it's "imperfect" - it's really just like saying that they aren't a "real" man or woman.

 

[wickedlady31]

....

i'm a male currently and i'm just starting the long process of becoming the woman i always should of been i'm just curious to talk to or meet anyone that has any insight on the situation male or female or mtfemales or ftmales...

thanks in advance
Tiffany

I was in a relationship with a woman..that became a man...only she wasn't honest about it with me...however....I may be able to answer some of your questions...

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Now you sound like that other person on this thread. Who are you to pass judgment on a trans person's genitalia? And if you mean that they're not functional, that's not correct - they function just fine. So I'm not really sure why you're suggesting that it's "imperfect" - it's really just like saying that they aren't a "real" man or woman.

It's not like I'm passing a moral judgement on the surgery; just a quality judgement. I mean, it's come a long way, but lets face it SRS just can't do everything that one would hope it does.
People wishing to transition, now, consider it the final step, and often reffer to it as "giving them the body they want." But, to really want a body of the sex opposite of that which you were born, is to ask for something modern medical science can't provide, yet.

Some say yes, some say no. Some people need it to be happy...to be psychologically satisfied, to be complete. Some people don't need it to feel positive about themselves, and that's great...they are saving money and reducing certain health risks (like dying due to improperly administered anesthesia). In the cases of "Change or Die," then it is not just cosmetic surgery, it is lifesaving surgery. For somebody who says to herself, "I am not a complete woman unless I have a vagina, and I am not happy unless I am a complete woman," then it's necessary surgery from a psychiatric standpoint. For somebody who says "my genitals do not define me," then it's not necessary.

That's the thing, though; your genitals don't define you. Saying they do is just playing into the hardline gender roles that have made things so difficult for people who didn't conform to the rest of their sex, in the past.

It really is cosmetic surgery, though. A surgically-created vagina is not a real one. It's made to look like one, to let it's owner feel like they have one, but it's not a real one.

 

[StrixVaria]

That's the thing, though; your genitals don't define you. Saying they do is just playing into the hardline gender roles that have made things so difficult for people who didn't conform to the rest of their sex, in the past.

It really is cosmetic surgery, though. A surgically-created vagina is not a real one. It's made to look like one, to let it's owner feel like they have one, but it's not a real one.

Perhaps you should consider this....

Having a vag is the final trump card in conforming to society's rules of living in a preferred gender. No one is going to hassle a woman in the restroom past the point of checking her panties. Having the "wrong" equipment in that circumstance can get you jail time, aversion therapy and occationally, death.

Think it doesn't happen? Check out the website for the National Day of Remembrance for the thirty odd individuale who died last year for being gender varriant.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Still, you're just listing cosmetic reasons for the surgery; that is ways the surgery will affect people look at you, based on your appearance.

 

[Etoile]

It's not like I'm passing a moral judgement on the surgery; just a quality judgement. I mean, it's come a long way, but lets face it SRS just can't do everything that one would hope it does.
People wishing to transition, now, consider it the final step, and often reffer to it as "giving them the body they want." But, to really want a body of the sex opposite of that which you were born, is to ask for something modern medical science can't provide, yet.

Okay, I think I'm starting to get where you're coming from.

It really is cosmetic surgery, though. A surgically-created vagina is not a real one. It's made to look like one, to let it's owner feel like they have one, but it's not a real one.

I guess it could be compared to a lab-created gemstone. Is it a real gemstone? No, it wasn't dug out of the earth. But does it function like one? Yes, it does.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

I guess it could be compared to a lab-created gemstone. Is it a real gemstone? No, it wasn't dug out of the earth. But does it function like one? Yes, it does.

It's more like a cubic zirconia, than a lab-created Gemstone.

I mean, a lab-created gemstone wasn't created in the same way, but it is physically the same as a gemstone taht was dug out of the Earth; it just has a different origin.

A cubic zirconia, on the other hand, is meant to look like a diamond, and designed to make people think that it is a real diamond. But, it is not a diamond; it's not made of the same highly compacted carbon, it's not the hardst substance on earth, and it cannot cut glass.
It doesn't function like a real diamond, beyond the extent that it looks alot like one.

 

[Etoile]

It's more like a cubic zirconia, than a lab-created Gemstone.

I mean, a lab-created gemstone wasn't created in the same way, but it is physically the same as a gemstone taht was dug out of the Earth; it just has a different origin.

A cubic zirconia, on the other hand, is meant to look like a diamond, and designed to make people think that it is a real diamond. But, it is not a diamond; it's not made of the same highly compacted carbon, it's not the hardst substance on earth, and it cannot cut glass.
It doesn't function like a real diamond, beyond the extent that it looks alot like one.

Hmm, okay. I don't know much about gemology, maybe that was a bad example! The only point on which I'd disagree with you is that in many cases, constructed trans genitalia does indeed function like natal genitalia. Not all cases, to be sure, but many.

Although the question of what is "real" is still nagging at me. I'm not sure that natal is the only way to be a "real" anything. Stuff to ponder.

 

[KABUKISTAR]

Hmm, okay. I don't know much about gemology, maybe that was a bad example! The only point on which I'd disagree with you is that in many cases, constructed trans genitalia does indeed function like natal genitalia. Not all cases, to be sure, but many.

Some reconstructed genitalia can do some of the things that the bits it's meant to emulate (urination, and some amount of sensation), but there are some things it can never do (namely procreation).

Although the question of what is "real" is still nagging at me. I'm not sure that natal is the only way to be a "real" anything. Stuff to ponder.

Perhaps, when medical science allows for created body parts that are physically identical, I will ponder whether it's origin matters in whether it's real or not. Right now, though, the fact that the greatest similarity created genitals share with natural ones is merely appearance, I feel comfortable saying that they're fake.