Tragedy Strikes

[neonlyte]

Sorry to post this here but I'm a long way from where I need to be at the moment and feeling a little helpless.

I've been informed this morning that my Cousin has been murdered in South Africa and his brother seriously injured in a shooting. Apparently they were attacked at their home by some disgruntled employees who used guns to settle an arguement. I don't know the rights and wrongs of the arguement, and frankly don't care. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong to think you can settle the score by taking someones life.

My Uncle and his wife are flying out right now, he's an old man with a serious heart condition, I hope and pray he survives the trip.

Why does shit like this happen? Jesus, you sit here writing trying to invent situations wondering if you're stretching credulity and fucking real life craps all over you.

Not looking for commiserations, just trying to understand.

Neon

 

[SnoopDog]

As for all tragedies...I have no asnwer. There probably IS no satisfying answer to madness like this.

I just want to say I'm sorry and feel for you. *hug*

Snoopy,

 

[Guest]

Shit, Neon, that's awful.

There is no rhyme or reason when it comes to this kind of thing. Some people are just too quick and ready to use violence as an answer to any "problems" and, as you said, it's just plain wrong.

I know you weren't looking for condolences, but I am thinking of you and your family, and hope that some kind of answer comes your way. However, as Snoopy said, there is no answer - not a rational, satisfactory one, anyway.

Lou

 

[Guest]

i wish i knew... i wish i had something to say that would shed some light.
i ask that question alot and never have an answer that fills the gap.
my heart is with you even though you didnt seek "commiseration"
please keep us updated?
*hugs*
v~

 

[neonlyte]

I've just spoken with my Uncle, he's at the airport waiting for the flight. He's nearly eighty and he's crying on the telephone.

His wife told me the boy's were in the jaccuzzi when these guys broke in and just opened fire. By the grace of God their wives and kiddies were out shopping.

I'm just hoping they get back safely, I only met the Cousin's once, many many years ago when they were just kids. Closer to my Uncle (my wife's uncle) was at his place just a few weeks ago listening to his tales. They came back to live in Portugal about fifteen years ago not liking the way things were going, one son came back with them and returned to live in SA just three months ago. I think he's the one that died, I'm so fucking useless at names, I can't remember which is which.

it just doesn't make any sense.

 

[matriarch]

 

[Green_Gem]

Neonlyte,

I am so terribly sorry to hear of this tragedy, and my deepest condolences to the family.

You say you're trying to understand. I live here in South Africa and I still can't understand the senseless killing that is par for the course here. It's such a beautiful country, with the most incredible potential and what we believed was hope and reconcilliation after the very necessary transformation, but regrettably it has brought with it the most insane lack of respect by many for human life and a complete disregard for law and order. I won't try and depress you further, but you would be shocked if you read the countless reports of senseless killings for something as small as a cellphone, or a hijacking for a BMW with children in a car, or a family murdered during the night while being burgled. Yeah, no wonder we have the dubious title of "Crime capital of the world."

You mentioned there was an argument between your cousin and some aggrieved employess, which is certainly no reason whatsover for the senseless violence that ensued, but in some sick kind of way, they must have seen that as 'a justifiable reason.' God help us here. Some days it just depresses me so much you don't want to know.

Perhaps because this sounds like it borders on being political, (which it isn't - just grim reality) I should also clarify something. The majority of these senseless killings are NOT carried out by what some think of as the so called poor under privileged people. Quite the contrary. Ten years of transformation has seen a HUGE change in the status of the 'haves' and 'the have nots' but like I said it has also brought with it this kind of blatant disregard for the sanctity of human life and a break down in law and order with an attitude of 'entitlement' as well as plain simple avarice. It's paradise for Nigerian drug lords, big syndicated crime groups, and even the opportunistic thugs who have found a much more lucrative option to working. There is legislation afoot for the banning of guns, but sadly it will not stop unlicensed guns from being used.

Sorry Neon, I haven't wanted to go off at a tangent but I am so sorry for your loss and deeply ashamed that it happened here. And like you, I wish, I wish I could understand.

You are in my thoughts and I hope your aunt and uncle will have the strength and fortitude to get through this. Please PM me if there is anything I can do to help from this side.

Green_Gem

EDITED TO ADD:

Neon we must have been posting at the same time and my post went up after your second one where you explained what your uncle had said. God, like I said above., so fucking senseless! Another statistic. Thank God the kids were out. I'm so sorry

 

[impressive]

 

[rgraham666]

It's a sad world we live in, isn't it?

This isn't one of those things that makes sense, neon. All you can do is survive it. You will.

Good thoughts going out to you and your uncle.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

 

[mismused]

.

Why does shit like this happen? Jesus, you sit here writing trying to invent situations wondering if you're stretching credulity and fucking real life craps all over you.

Not looking for commiserations, just trying to understand.

Neon

=========================

It's easy to see that this has hit you hard personally. My condolences.

You ask a very difficult question at a time like this. I sincerely hope you don't see this as flippant, because it isn't that at all, but truly an attempt to give you as much of an answer as I am feebly able to provide.

In one of my stories, an older woman who can "see" things, says:

"Life ain't what we think."

We pretty much cover up our impotence in this arena by creating "fields" of study, and "professionalizing" it, but in reality, by studying it, life, existence, and having so many theories about it, we're tacitly admitting we have no idea what life is,or why, but we're trying to learn.

One TV show recently has a character saying that "struggle" is nature's way of making you strong. Whether that's right or not, I hope your stuggle with your personal loss helps you to understand more what it is that this precious gift of existence is to us.

May your life be blessed in your grief in some way we know not of.

mismused

 

[minsue]

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm really sorry to hear it, neon. Every death is a tragedy, but death by violence just adds terrible shock and outrage to the pain.

My depest condolences.

---dr.M.

 

[Belegon]

 

[neonlyte]

Many thanks for the words posted here and for the private messages I've received.

We had some discussion in recent days of the value of AH and the general nature of posting. I can assure you if you are alone by choice or circumstance there is comfort to be drawn from realising you can express your deepest feelings without the risk of derision or scorn. AH provides this valuable service, for many.

I live in a foreign country, my wife's home country, for the moment, my wife lives in my home country. That is about to change, from the end of this week we shall once more be sharing a home, on a more permanent basis.

By circumstance we have virtually no surving realtives, few of my in-laws brothers and sisters produced children, the cousin who died is one of three. Consequently I have virtually no one near me that I can talk with about this terrible event. It was invaluable for me to be able to post here.

No further news other than the police know who they are looking for, the surviving brother has been able to gives names. That in itself makes the whole episode border on the ridiculous, how on earth did they think they would get away with killing someone. G-G's poignant tale of life in South Africa is enough to make you weep. Sometimes I despair of my fellows.

Many thanks to one and all.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Violence never makes sense, except in the minds of the violent.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

 

[KarenAM]

My deepest condolences, neonlyte. There are no words that can make sense out of something like this,but know that all of us are behind you.

 

[English Lady]

Just adding a *hug* really as I can only echo what everyone has already said.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Sorry to post this here but I'm a long way from where I need to be at the moment and feeling a little helpless.

I've been informed this morning that my Cousin has been murdered in South Africa and his brother seriously injured in a shooting. Apparently they were attacked at their home by some disgruntled employees who used guns to settle an arguement. I don't know the rights and wrongs of the arguement, and frankly don't care. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong to think you can settle the score by taking someones life.

My Uncle and his wife are flying out right now, he's an old man with a serious heart condition, I hope and pray he survives the trip.

Why does shit like this happen? Jesus, you sit here writing trying to invent situations wondering if you're stretching credulity and fucking real life craps all over you.

Not looking for commiserations, just trying to understand.

Neon

A little over a year ago, the father of one of my best friends was at the other end of that same situation (the disgruntled employee). I knew him and the situation well, and still, understanding was (is) impossible for me. I can only offer a hug and my sympathy.

 

[Liar]

As has been said, I have no answers. Because there are none. Just my condolences, for what it's worth.

 

[cloudy]

My thoughts are with you.

There's never a reason for violence like that, but it sadly seems to be getting more and more commonplace, worldwide.

 

[neonlyte]

Turns out the murder happened in the adjoining suburb to some who posts on AH, they PM'd me a police report. There may be a reasonable chance of catching the guy's, five men armed with shot gun.

I'm hoping they can find me a web based florist so we can send flowers.

neon

 

[neonlyte]

An Update

This sorry tale deserves a postscript.

My Aunt and Uncle returned from South Africa on Thursday, we visited over the weekend.

It turns out that the murdered son had a relationship with his secretary. The story is they only slept together once but she was pretty pissed off that he finished things. She'd pushed him for money, he refused. The gang of five men turned up at the house supposedly to scare the shit out of the son. They were armed with a pistol, unloaded and a shotgun, loaded.

The pistol was fired at the son several times, on blank chambers, the other son leapt from the jacuzzi to tackle the intruders, the one with the loaded shotgun panicked and fired killing the son who had the affair and blasting the leg of the other son who'd leapt to the defense. His leg is pretty bad but will probably recover fortunately most of the shot missed the leg, one wonders how.

The family know who the men were but are afraid to press charges fearing further retribution against his widow and children.

I'm not sure what I make of this, I have a feeling the story has not been fully told, or that bits have been omitted to protect the widow.

Neonlyte

 

[Evil Alpaca]

Sympathy seems woefully inadequate but its all I can offer.