Topping from Bottom.... ?

[TigerClaw]

I just saw a scene on TV that I would have to say was the ultimate in topping from bottom. She was saying

More to the left,
Harder,
Faster,
Dont stop,
Keep going,
Do this, Do that.


If I ever had a woman do that in bed I'd tell her we were not compatible. If I needed that much instruction we were not for each other.

Now, I do like know where a better place may be to touch etc but that is totally different. Also, vocalizing desire and lust is totally different also, Fuck Me, Harder, Faster, etc. I like a vocal partner whether words, moans, screams.

I have also have had the tables turned on me and having a submissive woman loose control and just attack can be intense. If it is not a scene I wouldnt mind once in a while.

What are your thoughts?

Any Topping from bottom? Never, sometimes, occasionally?

Under what circumstances is it ok for you?

How was it carried out, as above or more submissively? Just beginning to guide things or more Domineering like above.

Can you tell the difference between the lustful Fuck Me Harders and the Topping Fuck Me Harders? Is there no difference in Your Opinion?

 

[FungiUg]

I didn't see the scene you describe, so I can't comment too much. But -- maybe she was topping from the top? That has been known to happen...

Like everything in a relationship, there's a dynamic that takes time and knowledge and communication to establish. So the answer for me is... it varies. And really it comes back to honest open communication.

I will discuss a scene outside of the context of playing -- what worked, what didn't, etc. But when I'm in it... I'm in control. And if a submissive tries to bend me to her will -- well, that's just ammunition for me!

 

[ghosst_K&H]

More to the left,
Harder,
Faster,
Dont stop,
Keep going,
Do this, Do that.

I'd have to call this communication, i didn't see the scene, but i read it as him being a lousy lay, and her informing him of what feels good to her.

A Dom/me who isn't willing to accept any kind of feedback from His/Her submissive is taking a chance that the submissive is uncomfortabe, or in pain.

This is a two way street, submissive's need to have a say in how things are done, or You may find yourself playing with yourself.

 

[Quint]

Re: Re: Topping from Bottom.... ?

A Dom/me who isn't willing to accept any kind of feedback from His/Her submissive is taking a chance that the submissive is uncomfortabe, or in pain.

Then again, this may be a perfectly acceptable risk, or even motivation. In my particular relationship, we fuck the way he wants to fuck and although I am honest in portraying whatever sensation he is eliciting, I don't attempt to change or influence his technique. Sure, it's uncomfortable. Sure, it hurts. He gets the information that lets him know what's going on for me and continues however he wants--which is usually the same.

To answer the original question, the only time I really find myself topping is whenever I catch him in a position of indecision, at which point I sort of have this tendency to pounce and start bullying him around. This is really aggravating to both of us and is slowly being worked out of my system. Slowly.

 

[TigerClaw]

Your right. Looking at this post now I see that it is not clear. She was obviously in control by how she said it and by his reactions vs later in the post where a woman is voicing her pleasure.

heh, sometimes I slow down on purpose, or thrust out of beat, just to drive the intensity to a higher plain. My best compliment was when we were all done she said I hated the way you did that it drove me up the wall. I knew it. She had a very powerful orgasm and was spent.

LOL I wanted to do it, I did it.

I didn't see the scene you describe, so I can't comment too much. But -- maybe she was topping from the top? That has been known to happen...

Like everything in a relationship, there's a dynamic that takes time and knowledge and communication to establish. So the answer for me is... it varies. And really it comes back to honest open communication.

I will discuss a scene outside of the context of playing -- what worked, what didn't, etc. But when I'm in it... I'm in control. And if a submissive tries to bend me to her will -- well, that's just ammunition for me!

 

[TigerClaw]

Re: Re: Topping from Bottom.... ?

Originally posted by ghosst_K&H

I'd have to call this communication, i didn't see the scene, but i read it as him being a lousy lay, and her informing him of what feels good to her.
In a loose term ok communication. The scene I think was portraying him as either a lousy lay or her as demanding. Not a dom.

A Dom/me who isn't willing to accept any kind of feedback from His/Her submissive is taking a chance that the submissive is uncomfortabe, or in pain.
I agree. I think you have to have feed back. If a scene is all worked out and you are pushing limits I expect a sub to try. But even in this there is a safe word. It depends on the situation. If you are doing a scene and it is not supposed to be uncomfortable you damn well better speak up.

This is a two way street, submissive's need to have a say in how things are done, or You may find yourself playing with yourself.
lol, sometimes that aint bad depending on the situation.

 

[SierraMoon]

i would never try to tell Him how to do things during a scene.. there is plenty of time afterward for talking about what felt good, and what could be changed. i think if i ever did try to direct Him, He would probably stop it right there, and let me writhe in need for awhile.

The only thing i'm allowed to say to Him during play sessions is my safeword, unless i'm asked a direct question.

 

[TigerClaw]

i would never try to tell Him how to do things during a scene.. there is plenty of time afterward for talking about what felt good, and what could be changed. i think if i ever did try to direct Him, He would probably stop it right there, and let me writhe in need for awhile.

The only thing i'm allowed to say to Him during play sessions is my safeword, unless i'm asked a direct question.

True.

Are all your love making times scenes?

 

[NCShin]

maybe i missed this question/answer since I just woke up and am still drinking my first coffee...but was this a BDSM scene? or vanilla sex?

 

[A Desert Rose]

i would never try to tell Him how to do things during a scene.. there is plenty of time afterward for talking about what felt good, and what could be changed. i think if i ever did try to direct Him, He would probably stop it right there, and let me writhe in need for awhile.

The only thing i'm allowed to say to Him during play sessions is my safeword, unless i'm asked a direct question.

Ditto. Furthermore, I found it hard to talk or question while in scene with him.

His favorite question was "Does this hurt bad or does it hurt good?" That always made me smile... lol, still does.

 

[Table talk hawk]

Di"Does this hurt bad or does it hurt good?" That always made me smile... lol, still does.

 

[A Desert Rose]

He had that same goofy smile when He asked that question that you have ... He always knew my answer would be "it hurts good."

 

[TigerClaw]

No it was not a BDSM scene

But she was controlling the sex. I found it intriquing first thing in the morning.

If it were a BDSM lifestyle it would definitely be topping from bottom.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: No it was not a BDSM scene

No it was not a BDSM scene
But she was controlling the sex.
If it were a BDSM lifestyle it would definitely be topping from bottom.

Hmmm... power exchange is not unique to BDSM. In fact, it's really just that BDSM emphasises something that is inherent in most relationships.

So why do you say "from the bottom"? If she was explicitly controlling what was happening, that sounds more like a dominant -- even if the guy was on top physically.

 

[NCShin]

Re: Re: No it was not a BDSM scene

Hmmm... power exchange is not unique to BDSM. In fact, it's really just that BDSM emphasises something that is inherent in most relationships.

So why do you say "from the bottom"? If she was explicitly controlling what was happening, that sounds more like a dominant -- even if the guy was on top physically.

I agree totally

 

[TigerClaw]

because that is what she was doing.


Topping from the bottom

Making it a bit more clear~
The sub controlling the scene.

 

[Kajira Callista]

because that is what she was doing.


Topping from the bottom

or controlling while being underneath him.

So female dominants only play on top? hmmm *ponders this and walks out and into the next thread*

 

[TigerClaw]

no, you can still be a Dom and be on the bottom. I love breasts hanging over my mouth.

So you gonna leave me that quickly eh?

I clarified the wording. You are right a poor choice of words.

 

[FungiUg]

more clear~
The sub controlling the scene.

Sure - but you said it was non-BDSM, so what made it clear to you that she was submissive?

 

[TigerClaw]

Sure - but you said it was non-BDSM, so what made it clear to you that she was submissive?

Ok, if it were a bdsm scene she could be the domme.

But I would not be in bed with a domme unless it were at least equal. hmmm, what a tug of war that scenario might be like.

 

[Netzach]

Sure - but you said it was non-BDSM, so what made it clear to you that she was submissive?

When all you have is a hammer....


everything looks like a nail, eh?

~Netz.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Re: Re: Re: Topping from Bottom.... ?

Then again, this may be a perfectly acceptable risk, or even motivation. In my particular relationship, we fuck the way he wants to fuck and although I am honest in portraying whatever sensation he is eliciting, I don't attempt to change or influence his technique. Sure, it's uncomfortable. Sure, it hurts. He gets the information that lets him know what's going on for me and continues however he wants--which is usually the same.

funny...Daddy is the same way in that regard. usually i'm allowed to make little sounds if i get the urge...soft sighs of pleasure or little whimpers of pain. but regardless of what i'm feeling, it's not going to stop him from doing precisely what he wants to do, precisely how he wants to do it. my crying or saying ouch isn't going to make him ease up on me, nor is my sighing going to make him keep on "hitting that spot". it's not about what feels good to me or doesn't feel good to me. it's about satisfying my Master, period.

i can imagine few bigger turn-offs for him than a woman saying the likes of "harder, faster", or "oooh make me cum baby"...i know he would be repulsed and any sexual relationship, and probably any relationship period, would be over.