Topic: Guardianship

[Mistress]

Something happens to a sibling's parent and you are the only one given custody of him/her, you are young,and still not able to fully take care of yourself. What do you do?

Tomorrow morning I will walk into a court room with my dad's girlfriend, I may walk out the legal guardian of my 11 month old baby brother. I just turned 23 on Friday, I have a full time job but it's second shift. I work from 2:30 pm to 11pm. I do not drive, I do not even own a car and depend on others to take me where I need to go. I do not have my own home, I live within my grandparents house. My room is a mess, and small, there are no extra rooms in my small home for a baby room. I have a mental illness called Cyclothymia which is a border line form of Bi-Polar. I have been off meds since last Feb because I have no health insurance and can not aford the $300 a month for meds not including the twice a month visit to the shrink I use to go too. I am suffering from depression right now,due to the holidays as well as a broken heart. I have a baby brother who I have not seen in months, and only a few times since his birth last Feb. And tomorrow, I may become not only big sister Misty, but also a 'mommie'.

I don't know what the fuck to do....

 

[Azwed]

*SNUGGLE*

I don't know what to say. That is a lot to have to deal with. I mean could your grandparents maybe help you out with the baby or maybe some other relative. A male relative or some other kind of 'father figure' would probably be best if you can. Maybe the person who drives you to work could take care of him while you are at work then you could pick him up after???


I don't know what I would do, but there is always a way. There must be some kind of compromise you could make.

 

[Bindii]

Don't go to court.
You have as much as answered your own question, you have trouble looking after yourself. How will you manage with a baby?
Unless you are expecting a lot of help with your brothers upbringing it will be very difficult to raise him alone.
My heart bleeds for you and your baby brother, just think hard and long before you commit yourself. Is there a way you can get some form of home help? Or perhaps your grandparents,father and his girlfriend can help you?
Good luck.

 

[Mistress]

Ok let me explain more....


MY dad's girlfriend might be jailed tomorrow...so hence the reason I am to go in case of guardianship.

 

[Cheyenne]

I have no idea what is going on with the parents, or why you're in court tomorrow thinking you'll be named guardian. There is an easy answer. Say "no." No one can make you accept responsibility for someone else's life. If you're not ready, willing, and able, the fair thing to do for the child is to say "no." And from what you described, I'm not sure the court would decide to give you guardianship even if you are asking for it.

Lawyers? Where are all of you? Someone with a legal background could give you a much better answer.

 

[alltherage]

Something happens to a sibling's parent and you are the only one given custody of him/her, you are young,and still not able to fully take care of yourself. What do you do?

Tomorrow morning I will walk into a court room with my dad's girlfriend, I may walk out the legal guardian of my 11 month old baby brother. I just turned 23 on Friday, I have a full time job but it's second shift. I work from 2:30 pm to 11pm. I do not drive, I do not even own a car and depend on others to take me where I need to go. I do not have my own home, I live within my grandparents house. My room is a mess, and small, there are no extra rooms in my small home for a baby room. I have a mental illness called Cyclothymia which is a border line form of Bi-Polar. I have been off meds since last Feb because I have no health insurance and can not aford the $300 a month for meds not including the twice a month visit to the shrink I use to go too. I am suffering from depression right now,due to the holidays as well as a broken heart. I have a baby brother who I have not seen in months, and only a few times since his birth last Feb. And tomorrow, I may become not only big sister Misty, but also a 'mommie'.

I don't know what the fuck to do....

My god thats alot. I guess I have questions that need answers before I can give advice. You seem to have almost too much on your plate right now. I do not claim to know about your form of bi-polar illness but if you cycle rapadly or if your cycles are extreme I think you risk both you and the babies health if you accept guardianship. Only you know for certain. I think you have to aske yourself what is best for the baby, but equally, what is best for you. Your age is not so significant but your living situation is. Your dependent on your grandparents and that limits you already. The baby, will demand your time. I mean demand! I have two young ones and my life is dictated to me by there needs. I adjusted because I wanted the kids and it is my job to do so. I regret none of it. But I made a decision to have them. I don't know you. Tell me to fuck off if you like. But, here is my advice. In court tomorrow you have to tell everything. For the baby. Maybe the court can help you out, or perhaps they would decide that forster care is an option for the short term. You absolutely have to be committed if you get the child. I will pray for you tonight. Whatever happens your welcome to contact me if you would like too. I can always listen. Not so much but its what I have.

 

[freakygirl]

Mistress.. do you have AOL IM, ICQ or MSN?? if so.. add me to one of them please AOL-frkyjenn, ICQ- 124308437 or msn- Clerky31@hotmail.com

I'd like to talk to you in private.


hell I'll call you even..

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Bindii]

Ok let me explain more....


MY dad's girlfriend might be jailed tomorrow...so hence the reason I am to go in case of guardianship.

Can't your Dad look after his son if his girlfriend has to go to jail?

 

[Mistress]

Can't your Dad look after his son if his girlfriend has to go to jail?

More explaining.....

MY father is already in jail been there for 6 months over something he didn't do, yet was pinned for it anyways. His girlfriend is going tomorrow for something having to deal with that situation, his court date to get out has been pushed forward to Feb. This is the third time his date has been moved....

I just found out last night that I may become guardian when my brother's mom called me crying and asking me to go, and to help out. I'm almost sorry I even posted all this, hearing that it might be better for my brother to go to strangers is not what I need to get me to relax and to sleep. I was looking for support, and though everyone is offering it, its not the right kind of support I needed right now. I'm just going to go lay down and cry now.

Goodnight.

 

[freakygirl]

Mistress.. did you ignore my post?

I want to talk to you in private.. please..

 

[freakygirl]

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lavender]

 

[Angel]

I'd call her for you, FG but I don't want the phone to ring in her grandparent's home at Midnight.

I'd actually started dialling but then I realized what time it was.

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[freakygirl]

I'd call her for you, FG but I don't want the phone to ring in her grandparent's home at Midnight.

I'd actually started dialling but then I realized what time it was.

Thank you.. I was just going to post to see if anyone knows her "real" name and phone number.. I really want to talk to her. dammit... I have some advice.. and I think it will help. I'd hate to call this late unless I knew she was the one answering the phone and that it wouldn't bother anyone else.

Oh well.. I hope she sees this and pm's or messages me.. I'm willing to call her.

I wish I could have caught her faster...

 

[Bindii]

More explaining.....

MY father is already in jail been there for 6 months over something he didn't do, yet was pinned for it anyways. His girlfriend is going tomorrow for something having to deal with that situation, his court date to get out has been pushed forward to Feb. This is the third time his date has been moved....

I just found out last night that I may become guardian when my brother's mom called me crying and asking me to go, and to help out. I'm almost sorry I even posted all this, hearing that it might be better for my brother to go to strangers is not what I need to get me to relax and to sleep. I was looking for support, and though everyone is offering it, its not the right kind of support I needed right now. I'm just going to go lay down and cry now.

Goodnight.

We are sorry if you mistook the advice offered as critisism, honestly its not meant that way. You asked us what the best thing to do would be; and with what information we were given we answered you to the best of our ability.
No one is saying that you cannot do this, and things may go well in court for your fathers girlfriend so it may all work out alright in the end anyway.
Just remember it is not easy for anyone to raise a child - some days find me pulling my hair out with my two - but if you do have to care for your brother until your father returns from jail then you can access help and you can do it.
Good luck for tommorow!
Please let us know how it goes.

 

[Wanderer D]

She's gone to bed. She needs to sleep. I hope she can.
*sighs*

 

[YogiBare]

I'm so sorry about your situation, Mistress. You obviously love your brother and wish that you could meet his needs. that's very dear.

Why don't you talk with your grandparents? Ask them if they would be willing to take custody of your brother, with you providing significant assistance in a supporting (rather than pressure-filled primary) roll?

 

[Angel]

She's gone to bed. She needs to sleep. I hope she can.
*sighs*

Damn, and I was just gonna ask if you happened to be on the phone with her. Bleh.

 

[Simply Me]

Misty, same as DA said, I have lots of duplicate clothes, baby items and such. I would gladly send these to you. Please let me know what you need, if you decide to raise your brother. What a hard decision to make. I'll be thinking of you..

 

[Wanderer D]

Damn, and I was just gonna ask if you happened to be on the phone with her. Bleh.

I wish I had called her earlier, but I don't know what I could have done.
It hurts when you want to help and can't.

 

[Wanderer D]

I wish I could have caught her faster...

You have a PM. (mine, not hers)

 

[Cheyenne]

I was looking for support, and though everyone is offering it, its not the right kind of support I needed right now.

You asked for advice. You didn't say you wanted us to tell you a fairytale bedtime story.

Everyone who has posted is trying to keep the best interests of the child in mind. Read your first post as if it were made by someone other than yourself. Does that sound like someone who is ready to take care of a baby? I read it as you looking for a way out, a way NOT to have to deal with being an instant mom. My original advice still stands. Just say "no" if you don't really know that you can do this. There is nothing at all wrong with knowing your own limitations. Nothing to feel guilty about.

 

[InMiami]

Hi Mistress,

Everything that could be said, has been said. I want to send yo a ciber-hug and wish the best for you and the baby.
I would also like to make myself available if you need an ear or someone to help you put things into perspective with a view from the outside.
Is there any chance that this child mey be taken care by someone who will allow you full access at any time?
My AOL IM is: MaxMati e-mail is mm_617@hotmail.com MSN Messenger under same e-mail address.
Warm hug,
Max