Too Many Mistresses

[hmmnmm]

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[cloudy]

You might want to get tested for adult ADD. There are several of us here who have it. Mine can be horrible to deal with at times.

 

[gauchecritic]

There are few people that excel at anything, even of the million dollar sportsmen there are only a few of those that are more than above average.

It sounds to me like you're a quick fix type (which is how I describe myself) My attention drifts after the initial burst and it takes determination to continue a project to completion. A story, a computer, a wall. I often think that this is the reason I can't stop smoking.

And it's not even just that, because while I work on something, however engrossing it is I find myself always thinking of something else. In the middle of writing a scene I can find myself thinking of the plot for a completely different story.

I took a test many years ago to find find out what kind of manager I would be. The answer was: plant. (Not a plant manager) The description was that of the ideas man, the one that could envisage the whole project and its requirements at each stage.
This type of manager is the one that relies greatly on everyone doing their job. (which is how I tend to manage at the present except for the initial negotiating)

I tend to think of it as the butterfly mind (you're not Gemini are you?) approaching a great many different attractive flowers and settling only momentarily on any one of them before setting off for another.

It seems like we do all our thinking in one go, however complex it may be, it all comes out in one complete burst, even to the details or at least the sign posts to the details.

Maybe we're designers rather than builders.

Edited to add: This means that we happen to know about a great many things but few in depth. This is very definitely where my apparent erudition lies.

 

[bluebell]

Veronica, dinner!

So many ideas and projects to look into and practice. In the meantime I get sort of good at this, so-so at that... or maybe overall average isn't so bad? Sometimes I wonder if I can find a common or recurrent similarity in all the varied interests, somehow combine them, but that hasn't been successful either.

I know what you mean. It feels like a crying shame to know just how many things there are that you could experience, or even (possibly) be good at, and you can never do them all.
We would need to quit our jobs and make life our full-time occupation to even remotely squeeze (heh, wrong thread) it all in.
But even if we had all that time, what's to say we'd actually seize it properly?

It does get frustrating, but I feel like I've finally figured out my own weirdness. I go in phases. Sometimes I prefer to write, sometimes paint, sometimes draw, sometimes...just read. Etc., etc.
I never know what will trigger a phase, but I feel more aware of them now, and am getting better at carrying through with a few projects.
I still drag my heels big time, though.
Eventually, I think it comes down to a certain degree of willpower and discipline (depending on whether you have adult A.D.D. -Cloudy- ) and just how bad do you want to do it?

 

[hmmnmm]

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[BlackShanglan]

The medication I now take for ADD has been a great help to me. But I don't think that moving between projects is always a problem; the question is, can you find a rhythm and method that allow you to alternate your focus in a useful fashion?

D. H. Lawrence comes to mind. It's a rare author that manages what he did - to write very notable works in several different genres. He's got poetry, novels, and short stories to his name, and they're all very remarkable in their right. I'm told that his painting, as well, is now thought of with some respect.

W. B. Yeats is best known as a poet, but he also wrote some superb plays, founded and ran a theatre, organized political rallies, served as a senator, compiled collections of folklore, experimented in the occult, wrote short stories, and tangled himself in the founding and managing of a number of esoteric sects.

And of course one of the people I know personally and greatly admire is a man who took a degree in electrical engineering from MIT, later switched to become an orthopedic surgeon with an international reputation, and at last call was a sculptor.

Sometimes there's more wit to go around than a single field can contain, I think.

Shanglan

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist to do an ADD screening, in a couple of weeks. I've always been able to multi-task, but after lifting a depression that lasted most of 06-- the ADD behaviours are making me non-productive and really kinda scary.

This might explain why there are seventeen unfinished stories in my files...

 

[hmmnmm]

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[damppanties]

Took a random online adult add test (far from reliable probably), and the results were kinda high... again, whether there's anything to it, I do notice a recurring pattern. See if this sounds familiar: Big idea flashes (practically anything, pick one, the latest - poetry), excitement at high tide, get a big start, plunging your whole being into it... but then something distracts - another idea, a sudden doubt - back off, think about it but do nothing further. The days go by and the great big new idea is added to the big pile of all the other ideas/projects in the corner. Then comes the low tide. See that you've done nothing, and that if you ever did do something you would do nothing but embarrass yourself. But you can't help but dream anyway - here come the easy flights into daydreams. Then somewhere somehow another idea flashes, wakes you up, and you start all over.
Jeez, this is blue... what about those squ words. or tw- words?

The portion I highlighted jumped out at me while I was reading this. Insecurity might be the problem that keeps you from finishing stuff. You do not want to complete it, because it might not be good enough. Just throwing out an idea here.

I'd like to add - squat, twat.

 

[hmmnmm]

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[BlackShanglan]

Actually, I can sometimes multi-task, but not if something ELSE succeeds in breaking through the bubble or dripping from the ceiling.

And sometimes I make schedules and plans, which creates its own excitement, but those end up... well, they are many pages let's say.

Then I forgot the other part of the cycle, which is when you tell yourself to just not worry about it, and enjoy the day while it is here.

Mmmm. I really would talk to a specialist about ADD, then. Mine told me that "hyperconcentration" - that "bubble"? - is a common characteristic of ADD as well, and that is certainly the way that I work. I can manage very complex and multi-levelled tasks so long as I can get a good stretch of time and quiet in which to focus upon them, but like you I find that an interruption is often enough to kock me back several steps in my progress.

But there is this, as well - we must consider our expectations. The SO (a kind-hearted sort) observed one day, during the process of my diagnosis for ADD, that I was perhaps unreasonably frustrated with my ability to concentrate under certain circumstances. Perhaps the SO had a point, having just observed me lose my focus while attempting to play a real time online game, have a conversation with the SO, deflect a very interested dog, and sort out an airline reservation with my father by phone at the same time. The SO seemed less surprised than I with the result, and perhaps with good reason.

The ADD medication has helped me, but so has the theraputic process of examining the issue of concentration globally, and of recognizing that setting limits and establishing coping mechanisms are good and useful things. It's ridiculous how simple and helpful it's been just to 'fess up and say, "I'm sorry, but I have difficulty concentrating. Can I just have a moment to finish this task?" It's also had the delightful side benefit of showing me the perfect polite method for dealing with people who insist on bombarding you with questions and interruptions while you're trying to deal with the first five things they asked for. It's been a great blessing.

Now if only I can get it through to the parents. God bless the SO; I don't think I really realized how kindly and helpfully our domestic life had adjusted until I had my parents in the kitchen once more, badgering me for implements and condiments and comments on their life histories and trenchant political insights while I was attempting three dishes and a sauce. I think I might have grown a trifle testy; my mother had a sheepish and retreating look as she explained that my father hadn't been demanding pepper "right now." Serial Condimenter, that man. Didn't even know what we were eating. But that's another matter.

Shanglan

 

[hmmnmm]

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[NoJo]

Dilettante or Renaissance Man, Jack of All Trades or Polymath, call yourself what you FECKEN like, just enjoy the ride

 

[hmmnmm]

Wow, feels like a family reunion.

 

[NoJo]

Wow, feels like a family reunion.

Is that good, or bad?

 

[hmmnmm]

Is that good, or bad?

A few beers and I'd be misting up a bit.

 

[BlackShanglan]

So... since it appears to be no real purpose going on within the bubble, just step in and say something, or blow secondhand smoke into the bubble, or flip on the television...

At this point the bubble is popped, everything is wiped out, and it will take a long time to return to that bubble and to feel comfortable enough that it won't get popped just when you don't need it popped.

So there's the hyperfocus idea yet only when the focus is upon something of interest. When there is prevention to focus on the interests... extreme discomfort that is hard to explain, even to oneself?

Precisely. I added to my list "increasing urge to strangle the sadistic bastards who must know how tormenting this is" before I managed to identify it as a problem - or rather, before a therapist did, as it was the norm to me. It's been very helpful just to recognize how it works, and to have the occasional gentle reminder that not everyone works this way, and they don't all actually know that they're making me want to bash my head against the stable door until I achieve peace and silence again.

Shanglan

 

[Stella_Omega]

Precisely. I added to my list "increasing urge to strangle the sadistic bastards who must know how tormenting this is" before I managed to identify it as a problem - or rather, before a therapist did, as it was the norm to me. It's been very helpful just to recognize how it works, and to have the occasional gentle reminder that not everyone works this way, and they don't all actually know that they're making me want to bash my head against the stable door until I achieve peace and silence again.

Shanglan

This is all so encouraging to hear about!

 

[hmmnmm]

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