Too early for this question

[PennLady]

So it's like 8:30 a.m. this morning, and PennGirl (who is 4-1/2) is looking at a Christmas present -- a little Hello Kitty set with a wallet and some makeup (lip gloss, clear mascara, eye shadow).

Then she asks, Mommy, what does it mean to be beautiful?

Egads, kid, I can't philosophize this early!

Then a bit later, she tells Mr. Penn she wants to go to a sports card store, and he agrees that would be a fun trip. She says she wants to buy more cards. I point out that she'll run out of money (she and PennBoy have been going through Xmas funds) and she says, "Oh, Mommy, I don't care!"

I am mentally overwhelmed this morning. And it's not even 9 a.m.

 

[lovecraft68]

OH, wow, not envying you.

On one hand you want to instill in your kids that looks and appearance aren't how you should judge a person you know the whole beauty is only skin deep schtick.

On the other hand there is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good about yourself either.

I think you try the everyone is beautiful in their own way and different people find different things beautiful.

I also know that its more important then ever for young girls to not get to caught up in what society perceives as beautiful. Low self esteem in girls can start younger than you think and we all know what it can lead to.

Good luck with this.

and its also very early to find out the enter button is sticking on your ^^&^&^ keyboard!

 

[PennLady]

My answer was, admittedly, weak -- I told her it was when you were pretty on the inside and outside. Could have been worse. And I think it ultimately didn't matter, as I'm not sure she was even paying attention.

 

[lovecraft68]

My answer was, admittedly, weak -- I told her it was when you were pretty on the inside and outside. Could have been worse. And I think it ultimately didn't matter, as I'm not sure she was even paying attention.

Yeah they're pretty flighty at that age, but you never know what will stick with them.

A long time ago (I think my oldest was around 5 or 6) My wife (1st wife) took her to watch me in a karate tournament.

I came in second, but was pissed because I should have won, but lost my balance at a bad point in time and got decked giving the other guy the final point.

so we're on our way home and my wife is like "Well, hey there were a dozen people 2nd isn;t bad.

I was still pissed and repeated one of the gems my father always spouted out "second place is another way of saying loser"

Now my daughters in the back seat and doesn't say anything, she's playing with a doll and looks oblivious.

Several years later my daughter's baseball team went to a title game and lost. So we go out afterwards and one of her friends says "Seconds not so bad"

So one guess as to what my daughter up and says?

Thing is she never once repeated it to me, so you never know what they will or won't retain.

 

[ChrissieLecker]

Then a bit later, she tells Mr. Penn she wants to go to a sports card store, and he agrees that would be a fun trip. She says she wants to buy more cards. I point out that she'll run out of money (she and PennBoy have been going through Xmas funds) and she says, "Oh, Mommy, I don't care!"

A moment to be cherished. That's exactly the state of mind which we work our asses off for in a mad - and mostly futile - race to achieve it again. And is it a coincidence that I read "sports car store"?

 

[R. Richard]

"beauty is only skin deep" However, ugly goes all the way to the bone.

 

[lovecraft68]

"beauty is only skin deep" However, ugly goes all the way to the bone.

Every time I hear beauty is skin deep I can;t help think "That's what ugly people say"

 

[Cruel2BKind]

As far as the money thing, I've always been pretty frugal, and my sister spends like mad. Same frugal parents, same frugal teachings. I wouldn't say it's like flipping a coin, because my parent's attitude definitely contributed to how I think about and spend money. But even if you teach her all the right things, something might go wrong.

Having a job, or having to work for money helps. I know she isn't even five, but maybe a small reward (one, two dollars) for doing simple chores might help her learn the value of money? Bigger chores as time goes on?

It really depends on how you use money around her.

I was at Target with my best friend, we were going to buy something to cook at her place. She was tossing some kitty litter and toilet paper and other things in the cart. I realized that she wasn't even looking at brands and money per unit.

I forced her to go and put everything back. I went through everything, and got cheaper brands, got eight rolls of tp for 5.00, instead of two rolls for 2.00, etc. In the end, we saved about four dollars. (but we got some good deals spending more for bulk) But she just laughed at me and called me crazy. But because of the way I was raised, I cringe at buying brand-name things. Even when I'm not buying.

Just have good spending practices around your kid. Absolute best thing to do. And the thing that will stick the longest.

 

[lovecraft68]

As far as the money thing, I've always been pretty frugal, and my sister spends like mad. Same frugal parents, same frugal teachings. I wouldn't say it's like flipping a coin, because my parent's attitude definitely contributed to how I think about and spend money. But even if you teach her all the right things, something might go wrong.

Having a job, or having to work for money helps. I know she isn't even five, but maybe a small reward (one, two dollars) for doing simple chores might help her learn the value of money? Bigger chores as time goes on?

It really depends on how you use money around her.

I was at Target with my best friend, we were going to buy something to cook at her place. She was tossing some kitty litter and toilet paper and other things in the cart. I realized that she wasn't even looking at brands and money per unit.

I forced her to go and put everything back. I went through everything, and got cheaper brands, got eight rolls of tp for 5.00, instead of two rolls for 2.00, etc. In the end, we saved about four dollars. (but we got some good deals spending more for bulk) But she just laughed at me and called me crazy. But because of the way I was raised, I cringe at buying brand-name things. Even when I'm not buying.

Just have good spending practices around your kid. Absolute best thing to do. And the thing that will stick the longest.

I drive my wife nuts because even though I wouldn't say her parents were well to do, she never went without.

My family was pretty poor and even now that we do well for ourselves I am according to my wife "a goddamn cheapskate with a poverty mentality."

That comment stemmed from when she was sick awhile back and I told her make me a list and I will grocery shop

so I proceeded to buy the generic brand of everything on the list and was pretty happy with myself until she started crabbing that we're not poor and some brand names do make a difference.

She did however, finally manage to break me of adding water to the last inch or so of ketchup in the bottle

 

[PennLady]

PennGirl and her brother both get allowances, although I admit we're sometimes irregular in payment. PennBoy is supposed to divide his -- a little for saving, a little for spending on others, and some for spending himself. He doesn't always get all of it, b/c he doesn't always earn all of it. PennGirl gets about $2/week, or maybe a quarter or fifty cents for extra little chores.

What they really have to learn is that once the money is spent, it's gone, so they need to be careful how they spend it.

 

[lovecraft68]

PennGirl and her brother both get allowances, although I admit we're sometimes irregular in payment. PennBoy is supposed to divide his -- a little for saving, a little for spending on others, and some for spending himself. He doesn't always get all of it, b/c he doesn't always earn all of it. PennGirl gets about $2/week, or maybe a quarter or fifty cents for extra little chores.

What they really have to learn is that once the money is spent, it's gone, so they need to be careful how they spend it.

I am still trying to get my wife to learn this. I make the budget, she breaks it and the answer is always "I'll just make more, or hey, didn't you just start listing another collection?"

 

[TE999]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's an old saying, but it's true; it's all about perception. At five your daughter may not remember what you tell her, but I told my daughter that everyone will perceive her in a different way and that she should attempt to look and act her best whenever she can and people can take it or leave it.

As far as money goes, establishing a habit of saving some of their money in an account of some sort early in a child's life will benefit them later on. Even more important however, is instilling in them the concept of delayed gratification. That seems to be the most common failing of consumers today as society both promotes it and subtly demands it with a slew of new products daily.

If you can save some of what you earn from every paycheck and wait awhile for things that aren't the necessities of life you can't go wrong.