Todays One-bombs

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm in a bad mood. I checked the new stories but found none to one-bomb tho a few of you were there. Smacking PILOT or NAOKO and some others woulda made my holiday a joyful occasion. But LOVECRAFT, OGG, and REJECTREALITY aren't on my HATE list. Maybe tomorrow.

 

[Sammael Bard]

You should try yoga and a few breathing exercise when the foul temper strikes.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You should try yoga and a few breathing exercise when the foul temper strikes.

A nuclear enema up your skinny faggot ass works too.

 

[Sammael Bard]

You make me laugh. Sometimes, I wonder where the AH would be without jokers like you and scouries.

 

[oggbashan]

I don't need your 1-bombs JBJ.

I get enough of them from other people.

I'll have to bring back The Authors' Hangout Last Place (tm) Contest if the low voting continues.

 

[Sammael Bard]

I don't need your 1-bombs JBJ.

I get enough of them from other people.

I'll have to bring back The Authors' Hangout Last Place (tm) Contest if the low voting continues.

What's a Last Place (tm) contest?

 

[oggbashan]

What's a Last Place (tm) contest?

How times have changed. I used to run the Last Place (tm) Contest for every themed Literotica contest. It was a piece of humour but with a serious purpose. Many contest entries scored much worse than the quality of the writing deserved. The Last Place (tm) Contest was for the story that had the lowest rating and/or the fewest votes according to my patent formula.

Now that almost every entry gets far more than the 25 vote minimum requirement for the main contest, and several posters used to provide tables of the ratings of ALL the entries, the Last Place (tm) Contest became redundant. Everyone could see who was last. The whole point of my contest is that the author had to ask to be included. There were no prizes, just the acclaim and awe from other authors at the magnitude of the achievement.

Here are the rules:

Last Place Contest

Rules for Last Place contest.
****

Order for coming last:

Lowest voted rating for a genuine attempt at a story multiplied by number of votes if less than 25 divided by 25.

So - if rating is 3.00 but only 12 votes the score would be

3.00 x 12 / 25 = 1.44

If rating is 3.00 but more than 25 votes, the rating stays the same.

I suggest ignoring number of reads except as a tie breaker when least number of reads would *win*.
****

Since the 'winner' actually wins nothing, it is pointless to cheat. To enter, all you have to do is declare your rating and votes at the time the real contest is decided.
Participation is entirely voluntary.

Og is banned from entry for life because he finds coming last too easy and is a past multiple winner of last places.

For the last place contest, 1 votes are very valuable and 5s are bombs.

Og (whose decision is final unless you all gang up on me)
__________________

 

[Sammael Bard]

That's a very nice idea to promote stories on the other side of the scale. I like that.

 

[rjordan]

You should try yoga and a few breathing exercise when the foul temper strikes.

I would recommend the "Lion-breathes-out-doesn't-breathe-in" exercise for beginners like JBJ.

rj

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I wanted to one-bomb Handley Page but he doesn't let you score his stuff. Coward.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I hadda lay down tired from all the one-bombs I awarded today. It was a fat harvest.

 

[SamScribble]

I hadda lay down tired from all the one-bombs I awarded today. It was a fat harvest.

Join the club, JBJ.

 

[SamScribble]

Unless of course you mean the ones that you awarded. Personally, I either vote four or five, or I abstain.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Unless of course you mean the ones that you awarded. Personally, I either vote four or five, or I abstain.

I get so many I'm embarrassed, and want to share with all my AH friends. Gosh, I have a story that languishes at 4.48 because so many nice AH people heap ones atop it. Their generosity humbles me to do more.

 

[49greg]

It's been so long since I've gotten a comment that I'm seriously considering actually knuckling down and finishing a story so I can post it. Maybe another LW story to make sure I get lots.

 

[_Lynn_]

I wondered how long it would be before you chose something of mine. Neither your one-bomb or your petty comments hurt me, though.

Have a great day!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I wondered how long it would be before you chose something of mine. Neither your one-bomb or your petty comments hurt me, though.

Have a great day!

The 'poem' sux. There's too much bull shit at LIT, and when you write a real poem I'll let you know. I don't go looking for victims, they make themselves obvious with their shoddy wares.

 

[_Lynn_]

The 'poem' sux. There's too much bull shit at LIT, and when you write a real poem I'll let you know. I don't go looking for victims, they make themselves obvious with their shoddy wares.

That’s your opinion. Others may or may not agree. I didn’t and never will write my thoughts and words to what someone else proclaimed as the correct way to write a poem.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That’s your opinion. Others may or may not agree. I didn’t and never will write my thoughts and words to what someone else proclaimed as the correct way to write a poem.

Youre right, its my opinion, but fuck what others think. If a pack of halfwits like your stuff, that's ok with me. It doesn't make your stuff worth shit. LIT is the home of the T-Ball trophy.

 

[_Lynn_]

Youre right, its my opinion, but fuck what others think. If a pack of halfwits like your stuff, that's ok with me. It doesn't make your stuff worth shit. LIT is the home of the T-Ball trophy.

So anything else of mine you put your name on must be shit, too, then?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So anything else of mine you put your name on must be shit, too, then?

Bottom line: I aint lying to you to make any points. You don't like me, I don't like you, but I wont one bomb a good poem or story, ask Tio. I wish he would die but I wont fuck with the good stuff he produces.

 

[_Lynn_]

Bottom line: I aint lying to you to make any points. You don't like me, I don't like you, but I wont one bomb a good poem or story, ask Tio. I wish he would die but I wont fuck with the good stuff he produces.

Just for the record, I rarely call things like 'Fear' a poem. It was a blurb, rows of thoughts that fell together based on a single topic. Lit's category is poetry, though, not blurbs. Because I liked the message, I posted it . . . under the only option I had--poetry.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just for the record, I rarely call things like 'Fear' a poem. It was a blurb, rows of thoughts that fell together based on a single topic. Lit's category is poetry, though, not blurbs. Because I liked the message, I posted it . . . under the only option I had--poetry.

I don't care if it came from the lips of God, I mean PILOT. Everyone luvs it but me, relax.

 

[sr71plt]

And this, all you needy Litsers who sucked up to JBJ for his "expert" laying of hands on your work, is what you get with JBJ.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

And this, all you needy Litsers who sucked up to JBJ for his "expert" laying of hands on your work, is what you get with JBJ.

I guess poor Lynn cried on your shoulder.