to touch or not to touch - that's the question

[Munachi]

hm first time i post a poll, i hope it works out...

Okay, this is due to a discussion i had with various friends. so i am just curious to see other people's opinions...

if all works as i plan, this poll has multiple options - please note, that option 1 and 2 are either/or - if you could touch a person that you find sexually attractive anywhere you want, or have them touch you anywhere you want them to, but not both - what would you chose?

and then, the other options are possible reasons.

and it would be good if you could elaborate more in the thread.

 

[neonlyte]

Interesting question. i've voted - I'm thinking about how to frame my answer.

Edited thinking: Here, on the edge of Europe, touching (normal touching) other people of either sex and by both sexes is the norm. Unlike UK, my other home. People in conversation touch all the time, we kiss all the time, two kisses, one on each cheek. Close family men kiss and young men will kiss one another (cheeks) in exuberance, or because of some foolish act. All man and women friends kiss one another, I even kiss my Bank Manager (female). If you are talking with someone you know well, standing face to face, they will hold your arm, take your hand, finger your lapel, remove a thread of cotton, or a stray hair. Touching is the de-facto practice.

So I have a little bit of a problem defining 'other' touching because most of what we do here could be considered intimate in some other places. Male friends in UK would not stroll through the shops arm across the shoulder as some do here, and most girls either hold hands or find some other way of touching. What we don't do here, is eye contact. Eye contact is intimate, reserved and actually 'shocking' because it is not the social norm. You can have dalliance without being touching intimate, its curious, its nice and it's unmistakable when it happens.

 

[Liar]

Some qyuck comments based on the poll options.

(If you could touch someone you find sexually attractive, or have them touch you - you)

would touch them
Yep.

would have them touch you
Nope. (Ok, I would like that too, but given the either/or, I could live without being touched.)

and you think your choice is gender related
Can't think of how it could be.

your choice has to do with dominance
No, because I'm niether very dominant nor very submissive, and not consistent.

your choice has to do with wanting to please the other or to be pleased by them
I didn't vote for this, because my choice has to do with both. My hands are one of my most erogenous zones. I get more pleasure by having something to touch, as well as I expect that I give more pleasure that way.

other
So I voted here. See above.

 

[zeb1094]

Being touched I can do without if I only have the choice to touch or to be touched not both.

I would prefer to give to the one I love rather than receive if that was the only option.

As for the other choices, I am no bi so I would only touch my oposite gender and as stated previously, I prefer to give pleasure to my love than to receive.

 

[Munachi]

thanks for the answers so far... i voted too, now... and as for clicking on other - in a discussion that caused me to post this poll someone suggested that in my case the fact that i prefer to be touched over touching could have to do with that i like being in the centre of attention... it's a bit complicated... have to think some more how to explain it.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I'd prefer to be touched. I want to be desired.

 

[impressive]

I would prefer to BE touched -- and, if I could choose where, it would be my hands. Having ones hands stroked is phenomenally intimate -- much more so (to me) than other parts of my body. It can be quite overwhelming.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I would prefer to BE touched -- and, if I could choose where, it would be my hands. Having ones hands stroked is phenomenally intimate -- much more so (to me) than other parts of my body. It can be quite overwhelming.

I love holding hands, for that same reason - it just feels incredibly intimate to lace fingers or squeeze a bit. Great stuff.

 

[cloudy]

The only time someone touches me with love is from my children, so I chose to be touched, although I love both.

And I agree about the holding hands. Even when it's with friends, as with Imp or Vella, there's just something very connected about it.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

I am very selective about touching. I have to find the person attractive, or be very close emotionally to him or her, such as my brother, sister, parents...I don't touch people that I don't desire as a sex partner or like as a friend. Not as a rule. If they touch me, I am generally polite, as long as they don't repeat it and provoke me. But I often do flinch, which a certain Sergeant Major found upsetting and irritating at one point. I like my personal space, and will only give it up for sex, friends, or family, if I have any control over the situation. I'm not a touchy-feely person with most people.

 

[Liar]

So, a clear majority of touchers so far are male and a clear majority of touchees are female.

And almost none of us thinks it's gender related.

Not saying anything, just an observation.

 

[Aurora Black]

I'm a toucher. At this point I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but I have the tendency to be selfless when it comes to touching and giving pleasure. When I read the question above, I immediately imagined what I would do in that situation. Picturing my dream man standing before me, completely at my disposal. Without a doubt, I'd be the one doing the touching/caressing. Now I just need to think about where to start...

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't understand. If I find someone sexually attractive, doesn't that mean I'd like to have sex with them? In which case we're both touching each other.

What did I miss?

 

[Guest]

<---touchy feely chick.
cant help it and sometimes i know i shouldnt but the urge is nearly too great.
i love to be touched but if i had to choose, i would be the toucher...
not that i think this has anything at all to do with dominance but rather a drive to show i care.

 

[cloudy]

<---touchy feely chick.
cant help it and sometimes i know i shouldnt but the urge is nearly too great.
i love to be touched but if i had to choose, i would be the toucher...
not that i think this has anything at all to do with dominance but rather a drive to show i care.

you just like to grab the boobage.

It's odd....Vella's response got me thinking, sometimes not a bad thing. I'm a very touchy-feely person too, but it's been stifled for so long that I've really gotten out of the habit. Hope to get back into it very soon.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I don't understand. If I find someone sexually attractive, doesn't that mean I'd like to have sex with them? In which case we're both touching each other.

What did I miss?

...maybe it's a bondage thing....

 

[Guest]

you just like to grab the boobage.

It's odd....Vella's response got me thinking, sometimes not a bad thing. I'm a very touchy-feely person too, but it's been stifled for so long that I've really gotten out of the habit. Hope to get back into it very soon.

do. its good for what ails you.
break free, suptuous squaw. break free.

 

[cloudy]

do. its good for what ails you.
break free, suptuous squaw. break free.

I'm working on it diligently, I promise.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I choose to be touched. Not so much because I'm greedy for touch, though I usually am, but more because I read touch in very black and white terms whereas words can often dangle in the gray area. When someone touches me, I am acutely aware of what's behind it, if they're convicted about it, and quite often I can understand the bulk of what they're feeling and what they're trying to tell me through their touch. For me, touch is about communication and less about physical gratification ... though that's nice too.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Okay. I see. I can be slow sometimes.

I prefer to touch. There's a tactile component. There's a pleasure-giving component, and there's the possessive nature of touching someone else. These last two I see in terms of D/s.

In general, I would rather pleasure someone than be pleasured myself. I think that's also a real D/s thing.

 

[Guest]

Okay. I see. I can be slow sometimes.

I prefer to touch. There's a tactile component. There's a pleasure-giving component, and there's the possessive nature of touching someone else. These last two I see in terms of D/s.

In general, I would rather pleasure someone than be pleasured myself. I think that's also a real D/s thing.

not slow. different perspective. i dig it.

 

[Tom Collins]

I chose "would touch them/your choice has to do with wanting to please the other or to be pleased by them/other"

The reason I also chose "other" is because I'm very tactile. I love experiencing the textures and resiliancy and hard/softness of things.

 

[LadyJeanne]

So, a clear majority of touchers so far are male and a clear majority of touchees are female.

And almost none of us thinks it's gender related.

Not saying anything, just an observation.

Observation noted...

 

[Anniejustagirl]

I love to touch.... to evaluate a person's response to that touch... i tend towards greed in a tactile nature. A lot of my own pleasure comes from being able to bring the other person off with the simplest of touches... feather light to teasing to deeply massaging. I can get myself off by getting the other person off... and i don't Have to be touched... it's a focus thing.... focus on them and the focus comes back to me....

a solid choice.. i Have to do the touching!

and the hands... oh yeah! hand on hand... massaging hands... the Best!

 

[BlackSnake]

I do the gropping in public as soon as possible. It lets me know if I should waste another second of my life talking to someone I just want to fuck.