To the girl who can't cum, or to any man who needs tips on pleasing women.

[dee_cole]

I was troubled to read the thread from the young lady who could not come. So I felt compelled to share one of my sure-fire methods to satisfying sex.
What every woman needs is a man who knows how to relax her fully,(unless she's a lesbian, and in which case she probably already knows how to satisfy another woman.) The best way to do this is with a nice glass of wine and a massage. I suggest an alchohol rub followed by oil. Then a vibrating back massager,(Panasonic makes a great one for $39.95 at your local Target or Walmart). The massager should be used on her back first then her ass, thighs, and clit.
After the massage he should gently massage her clit with his toungue, a steady motion, with repitition of the feeling that brings her the most pleasure, then after her second orgasm...she should have the first with the massager on her pussy, and the second from his tongue if he gets it right....as I was saying, after the second O , he should give the pussy a strong pounding placing her legs on his shoulders or in the doggie syle position.
Ladies make sure he fucks you like you're a whore and that he doesn't come too fast. Tell him to keep his rythym and think about nuclear physics or some shit to keep his mind of of the intensity of the sex. Once you have a vaginal orgasm or if you don't the first time its okay...but if you do reward him by letting him unload in any fashion he chooses ie. in your mouth or at least on your face and tits.

That's the way I do it and it always works. Feel free to print this out and keep on your night stand.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Interesting theory. I'm wondering if it really works. It wouldn't work on me at all, though the massaging would be nice. Anyone else?

 

[dee_cole]

to Killer Muffin

And why not? If you don't mind my asking.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Well, the nice glass of wine will put me to sleep, it clashes with the medication I have to take you see. Not the best prelude to sex is it?

Secondly, my pussy is entirely too sensitive. I cannot tolerate a vibrating device on it, it hurts and eventually numbs the area completely. I also have difficulty with dildos, the material its made from irritates the tissues in my pussy as well. Bringing a vibrator near my pussy will result in a rather nasty fight.

Lastly, I abhor being treated like a whore. It makes me rather violent and not in a good way. I'm not much for lowering myself to be a whore, slut, cumslut, fuckwhore, whatever you want to call it. In my mind these names make one less than human, less than worth my partner's respect. That is just my opinion, and most likely comes from being constantly degraded previously in life.

I prefer to be equal in the whole deal, to be ridden as hard as I ride. Love, laughter, fun and respect. Sex is supposed to be the most fun two people can have together.

The greatest lover I've ever had possessed the ability to make me cum without even touching me or allowing me to touch myself. He had me close my eyes and led me through a sexual fantasy, no, odyssey with only his voice. He touched me in the most sexually responsive place I have, my brain.

 

[Bobtoad777]

I also would prefer the gently approach and treat a woman with dignity and respect.

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Holy shit!

Where've you been hiding, Dee?

Anyway, in response to your thread, I think that that method would work fine for me... even though I have no trouble cumming, ever.

I, personally, like to be "fucked like a whore." The only time I feel demeaned is when there is no trust between me and my partner. There has to be mutual respect. I'm not saying it's like that for everyone, just me.

 

[Never]

"(unless she's a lesbian, and in which case she probably already knows how to satisfy another woman.)"
What's up with this? Am I to believe all women want the same thing? How boring. Besides, I can hardly satisfy myself; does that mean all my partners are going to be disappointed?
I'm also confused about your phrase 'fuck her like a whore'. How do you know you're being f**ed like a *$@*# unless you've actually seen one f**ed? Does this include saying dirty names or putting two hundred on the nightstand before leaving?
I might enjoy both, but I'd hardly identify with the list Killer Muffin gave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhhh, me virgin ears!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Never take advice from a man who says, "What every woman needs..." Invariably he hasn't a clue.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Oh cum on Never, you know you're my lil Fuckslut. Or was that cumslut? Whichever, you've been beggin for it since you took over the naked oiled yardboy job from Deborah.

My problem with the words is one of those dysfunctional fucked in the head things. The wrong people called me those things all the time at the wrong time. I didn't think therapy just to enjoy being called a whoreslut was necessary.

 

[Never]

Dixon Carter Lee: Never take advice from a man who says, "What every woman needs..."
Damn man, I was going to ignore him but if you say I should listen..

Killer Muffin: "You know you're my lil Fuckslut. Or was that cumslut? Whichever, you've been beggin for it since you took over the naked oiled yardboy job from Deborah."
Hey.. dems fightin' words. Hmmmmm, then again, there are worse things to be than your naked oiled yardboy.

"I didn't think therapy just to enjoy being called a whoreslut was necessary."
Oddly enough, I'd be more into the therapy if I enjoyed being called a.. you know.

 

[poohlive]

Actually, I like Killermuffin's idea. I once made a woman orgasm just by reading one of my stories *(which I have submitted to lit. 3 to 4 weeks, please stand by). Right in the middle of the story she actually orgasmed. I was really surprised, didn't think it was that good.
I also have a problem treating a woman degratingly. I mean I know some woman like that sort of thing, role playing and such, but I treat woman too equally to do something like that.
anyways, (dropping my two cents in) thats what I think.

 

[Siren]

Now Never, the $200 worked last time I left it for you....

 

[Gil]

Hmmmmm...I'm inclined to agree with DCL on this one.

Every woman is different and the challenge is to learn the unique secret(s) for each woman. I've discovered a few things that generally seem to go over well...but I'm not talkin'.

 

[dee_cole]

Never one to take sides....

...Because everyone has always been on the same side against the Dee. But what the hell is going on? It seems that the Dee-ster steps away for a month and a few litties are at each others virtual throats. Please update me I have sifted through a few threads but an unable to figure out whom is pissed with whom.

"Never take advice from a man who says, "What every woman needs..." Invariably he hasn't a clue."

I see that DCL is still playing the high and mighty, ultra-sensitive role.(Is it still working for ya?) I also see that some you still are only reading parts of responses and threads.

To fuck a woman like a whore is up to the imagination of both parties. My parter(s) occasionally like to be talked dirty to when their legs are pinned up on my shoulders and I am pumping away like a man possessed, or they like their hair pulled hard when I am fucking them in the ass. It could be as simple as grabbing the back of her neck when I am cumming in her mouth.

What I am saying is it all up to the parties involved. No more no less. And that's my final answer.

 

[Magic Merlin]

Dee,

As many on here I'm never quite sure what to make of you and your posts. You seem to be a very intelligent guy, a good wit and a very developed sense of humour.

I find many of your posts, particuarly when you address the women on the board, to be be rather crude and vulgar and I like many here don't really care for that approach. But hey, you are who you are and I guess that is the way it will be.

What puzzles me though is why you try and come across the way you do. You just seem to be to intelligent to act that way. Just my opinion....

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I see that DCL is still playing the high and mighty, ultra-sensitive role.(Is it still working for ya?)

Yes, thank you. Fucked your mother just last night. I impressed her with my manners and high and mighty knowledge of thermal dynamics as it applies to rocket propulsion and she just spread. Woo-hoo!

See, I can be a "real guy" (read "cracker-head dope") too. I went and insulted your mother (and shit). Wanna talk some sports now? (And shit?)

Dee you have a tunnelvision frat boy view of the world in which you dream of the day that all men and women behave like they do in Evil Angel Porn videos (and shit). You sound about 14, and I know you're an adult, and that's sad. Please don't ever breed.

And shit.

 

[dee_cole]

Will I sink to your level...maybe.

Oh, Dixon my poor Dixon. We should get off of mothers seeing as I just got off of yours. She's one hell of a crafty bitch...I see where you get it from. When her sweet puckered anus went dry from the fucking that my Rotweiller was giving her she asked me to find a hypo allergenic, non-silicate, lubricating gel. Well I didn't have anything like that around so she suggested that I used some of your father's denture cleanser...Worked like a charm...
I can't wait to tell the boys down at the frat house about her. She's one hell of a fuck...

Pardon me what has come over me? How dare I insult the righteous Dick-sonofa bitch-Carter shiteating Lee. You are the most high of all Literoticans...
My mom says to tell you next time bring the strap-on...She says that your three inches were only an appetizer and quite a dissapointment.

I wonder who you'll turn to when the choir-boys at your church press charges on you for the statutory-rape. Oh yes it does still count if your sucking their dicks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Christ you're an idiot.

No comeback. It's too easy.

 

[Rosebud]

No comeback.

ROFLMAO...DCL, I bet he hears that alot, but it is usually from women.

 

[dee_cole]

we agree to ignore each other then?

fine by me...

I'll ignore you and you do likewise ...and we spare ourselves the waste of energy that we spend pecking out these over played insults.
I assure you .... you will not hear from me as long as you do not speak my name.

 

[Guest]

dee_cole I think I am in love with you

 

[Expertise]

Yeah Dixon its like "Beetleguice, Beetleguice, Beetlegui..." ooops almost did it.

Does the phrase "Like a bad rash" come to mind for anybody else?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Beetlejuice or Betelguese?

Ford Prefect comes from the vicinity of Betelguese. Micheal Keaton was a better Beetlejuice than he was Batman.

Guys, guys, guys, gusy, calm down. Some people just think that all it takes to satisfy a woman is a nice hard cock moving in and out like a jackhammer. He is certainly entitled to his opinion, thought it may not get him chased as religiously around the threads as you guys are. Or even around the couch.

Shockingly enough, there are women out there who actually go for that sort of thing as well.

 

[April]

Shame on you! Michael Keaton was a fantastically sexy Batman! Those eyes, and that voice. Hmm, I'm seeing a trend developing here.

 

[Expertise]

I just can't look at Michael Keaton and think Super Hero. An insurance salesman or Produce Department manager sure.... superhero unh-unh.