to stray or stay....what do you say?

[fingers_larue]

Heres the deal....I have been married to a lady for over twenty years and for the last 3 years our sex has been less than top drawer. I am willing and ready to try new things to spice up the action but she is not interested. case in point, I love to give oral sex, there is nothing better than seeing and hearing her as my tongue does its tricks on her. I know she likes it cause she is always ready for a good "lickin" when she has been a bad girl. The thing is she will never return the favor, I have purchased flavored condoms and washed myself prior to the act but nothing seems to work, she just will not go there. I think what is good for the goose should be good for the gander!!! Another point she seems to have pre and post menstral problems all the time and then when you figure in the I'm to hot, to cold, what about the kids, I'm just not in the mood, I'm tired etcetera this boy is not getting what he needs. I wrote her a nice letter/ poem about a year ago and told her I wanted to try anal sex. I told her to think about it and let me know, I even gave her a sticker to place on the bed post to tell me her answer so she would not have to feel any pressure from me about her choice. I showed her sites on the inter-net about women and anal sex, their reactions and thoughts both before the act and after, still she turned me down and was not willing to even think about it. I put a post out there earlier to try and find a lady who might be interested in building a friendship that would work into a LTR, Now I am wondering if I am doing the wrong thing, what would you do? I am 48 years old and my lady is 46 it seems that we should be havin lots of good sex at this age but it is not happening, and I know I am willing to do my part. You can read my other post on the personals board " northern Indiana lover/friend" and tell me if you think I have worded it wrong or if there is a glaring error in there that I do not see. What ever you think about me and my situation or my other post let me have some feed back, I really just want to do the right thing and still have an active sex life .... Thanks in advance for your thoughts and consideration here...

 

[SINthysist]

If I stray there will be trouble...

...and if I go it will be double,

So you've got to let me know, http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=137601

 

[His_kitty]

k... I'm such a masochist sometimes but here goes...



As much as I love sex, it isn't everything.

If I had someone that adored the hell out of me, but for some reason couldn't perform for me sexually I'd find other outlets to do so that didn't involve cheating.

Some women either love or hate giving oral sex, some can leave it or take it. I see that you mentioned you've tried flavoured condoms, which btw I have to tell you taste just nasty... but have you tried flavoured creams and lotions? Whipped cream and chocolate sauce? See where I'm heading there?

For the anal, well lemme just say that having even just a normal sized cock shoving into your bum isn't always a pleasant experience. It takes patience and tenderness in order to make that a wonderful experience. Not to mention lube and lots of it. But let me ask ya this, are you willing to allow her to play with you in this manner? To let her take a good sized 7" dildo to you? If the thought of that makes you squirm in your seat, well then you prolly have a good idea how she feels.

Back to the cheating...

I never saw you say once that you loved your wife, my appologies if I missed it, but I didn't. I think your focusing too much on your dick and not enough on what you might have and what you will lose if you cheat.

Writing poetry is wonderful, it certainly warms my heart .. but having a poem written and slipping in there how you'd like to go where no man has gone before, well sugar that just took the romance right outta it. The less you pressure her the more likely she is to come around, not about everything, but about some things.

If you communicate with her and tell her how much you love her, value her and worship her maybe it will fall into place. Some people, men and women, just aren't very sexual. If that's truly the case with your wife then stock up on the porn and the magazine subscriptions if you want to stay in your marriage.

If you don't want to work things out with her, for heavens sake wait until your divorced before finding someone new. Imagine the hurt your children would go through if it was found out, think about how much respect they would lose for you.

 

[Lost Cause]

If you stay......

Go up to her and look her in the eyes and tell her everything you need to. Three things will happen, 1. She'll say tough shit, in which you can decide on leaving, but you're walking away from a person you've grown up with, and after a good blowjob, you're still on your own. 2. She could submit to your wishes, but may look at it like a job, with no real passion into the play. 3. She may agree for you to get it somewhere else, which will eventually erode the relationship to being nothing more than roomates.

You have to make tough choices, you may see a sexual counsellor (female), and it might help her get the "urge for the splurge!" Good luck!

 

[fingers_larue]

Well thank you for your responses...please go and read my other posting and you will see that I do talk about my lady! You will also see what I have in mind as far as my straying thoughts. As for the back door adventure, it is so tough to tell how you ladies feel about that sort of thing.....some say it is the best thing they ever tried and others act like you are going to really hurt them. I am not that kind of a person, I thought that this might be a fun and good thing for us to try...I really did think she might find it to be new and exciting, with the right approach of course. It has always been my intention to give my lady the pleasure she wants needs and deserves in a non threating manner, we have done things in our marriage that we would never have done as a newly married couple. There have been areas of exploration for both of us. She has never been against my tieing her up and using a blind fold but I guess I just wanted to keep pushing the envelope and trying more things. It just seems that we are not going at the same pace in our adventures and I am feeling like the door is closing to me bit by bit when I feel like it should be going the other way.I will be watching this spot for all the info I can get. Thanks again

 

[Guest]

Yea, like, I'll read this thread. Ever.

 

[fingers_larue]

Merry Christmas to one and all...may the new year bring you only good things and nuch happiness

 

[fingers_larue]

I was really hoping to get more feedback from this thread...please if you have any thoughts post them or PM me.

 

[Gil_Favor]

You have been married for 20 years, and you want to risk that relationship over sex? whats up with that? get some counseling or something. I suspect that cheating and getting caught would severely alter your lifestyle. I also suspect that starting over at the age of 48 would not be much fun either. Just a thought

 

[Guest]

If you really dying for sex, you can get it else where, but be open about it with your wife.

I'm not saying my ass is available to you.

 

[Kitte]

Here is my thought short and sweet. If you are going to cheat just get a divorce. Because if sex is that important to you, if it is so important that you would give up the love and companionship of someone you have shared 20 years with....do HER a favour and leave so she can find someone worth her time.

 

[cutie pie]

A few random thoughts. . .

You need to decide what you want to do. . .you don't need approval from us. That you're even questioning whether you should have an affair or not suggests that you have doubts.

As for your wife. . .ship the kids off to grandma or Aunt Jane or whomever and then sit her down and explain, without placing any blame, what it is that you want from her. It's all about communication.

My last random thought is this. . .not everyone has the same sexual appetite. While some of us will push the boundaries as far as we can, others are content with the tried and true. There is nothing wrong with either approach. If you truly love her and are committed to your marriage, you'll accept her boundaries.

 

[fingers_larue]

Bump

Just a bump in the night

 

[SINthysist]

So, you've got to let me know,
Should I cool it or should I blow...

Bye Joe! Did you remember to log off Lit before you left?