to complete a task or not.....that is the question!

[minx1]

to complete a task or not.....that is the question

Hey everyone,

This may come out slightly garbled and it also may have been covered before....so apologies in advance.

My Master set me a task to complete, it was to write an account of something...a story if you like and he gave me a week to write it. The deadline is today.
The thing is I haven't done it. Possibly for a couple of reasons. The first being that I find writing very difficult...it's not something that comes naturally and I lack confidence in my writing skills. It doesn't help being a perfectionist...... I am my own worst critic. Having said that, I do understand that its all about pushing my limits and the last writing tasks he set me I struggled with, but thoroughly enjoyed and the sense of achievement it gave me was amazing. For the record, he loves my writing.

Secondly, for various reasons I had felt some difficulties in the period leading up to the task I have n't been in a particularly good frame of mind...although to be fair i have been much better this week, so i can't use that as an excuse.
It's just that it left me unable to find the words.....with a complete writers block lol

So I was left with a dilema to try and write something that wasn't very good or to not do it and face any consequences. I think you could probably count on two fingers the number of times I haven't completed something he has set me and even then I completed it with a small extension as i had, what he decided, was a valid reason.
I had also raised that I was finding it difficult during the week. I take any tasks he gives me very seriously and I absolutely hate disappointing him.

Anyway I'm not so much asking you what i should do as I know this is something that I will need to discuss later with my Master.

I am more interested in your thoughts generally, both subs and Dom/mes please.
What is your view.....whatever the case, is it better to complete a task poorly than to not complete it at all?
As a Dom/me would you be more annoyed/disappointed at a bad or half hearted effort, when you know your sub could do much better, than it not being completed at all? Or would you prefer them to 'be upfront' about the difficulties they were experiencing?

Thanks

 

[callinectes]

Hey everyone,

This may come out slightly garbled and it also may have been covered before....so apologies in advance.

So here's the deal. My Master set me a task to complete, it was to write an account of something...a story if you like and he gave me a week to write it. The deadline is today.
The thing is I haven't done it. Possibly for a couple of reasons. The first being that I find writing very difficult...it's not something that comes naturally and I lack confidence in my writing skills. It doesn't help being a perfectionist...... I am my own worst critic. Having said that, I do understand that its all about pushing my limits and the last writing tasks he set me I struggled with, but thoroughly enjoyed and the sense of achievement it gave me was amazing. For the record, he loves my writing.

Secondly, for various reasons I had felt some difficulties in the period leading up to the task I have n't been in a particularly good frame of mind...although to be fair i have been much better this week, so i can't use that as an excuse.
It's just that it left me unable to find the words.

So I was left with a dilema to try and write something that wasn't very good or to not do it and face any consequences. I think you could probably count on two fingers the number of times I haven't completed something he has set me and even then I completed it with a small extension as i had what he decided was a valid reason.
I take any tasks he gives me very seriously and I absolutely hate disappointing him.
Anyway I'm no so much asking you what i should do as I know this is something that I will need to discuss later with my Master. Although please feel free to comment. (or better still provide a 'please excuse this sub from her task...' letter lol)

I am more interested in your thoughts generally, both subs and Dom/mes please.

What is your view.....whatever the case, is it better to complete a task poorly than to not complete it at all?

Thanks

Have you even started on the story? Made an honest attempt to do it? My feeling is that it is much better to put in your best effort and not finish as opposed to slapping something together at the last minute or not trying at all.

 

[minx1]

Have you even started on the story? Made an honest attempt to do it? My feeling is that it is much better to put in your best effort and not finish as opposed to slapping something together at the last minute or not trying at all.

I will be perfectly honest as there seems no point in being anything but that. Yes I have tried on numerous occassions to start writing it.

An honest attempt....possibly not. I've found myself unable to get my head round it.....as I said, I just can't seem to find the words. So I am ashamed to say at that point I have given up, hoping that the words will come next time.

God I hate admitting that outloud. Its the first time I have ever felt like I have really failed him

 

[catalina_francisco]

My experience is most PYL's prefer a bad effort to no effort at all, and failing that, a discussion about why you feel you can't do it and possible extension, before the due date. Perfectionism can be a curse at times, but most PYL's are determined to erradicate the power that perfectionist streak has over your ability/inability to do as they have demanded.

Catalina http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/458069086_4ed2903b90_t.jpg

 

[minx1]

My experience is most PYL's prefer a bad effort to no effort at all, and failing that, a discussion about why you feel you can't do it and possible extension, before the due date. Perfectionism can be a curse at times, but most PYL's are determined to erradicate the power that perfectionist streak has over your ability/inability to do as they have demanded.

Catalina http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/458069086_4ed2903b90_t.jpg

Thanks Cat,

I did l mention to him mid week that I was experiencing difficulties and had we managed to speak yesterday I would have raised it with him then and asked if I could have an extension, but unfortunately we didn't.

You are so right about the perfectionist bit and he has managed to make me put this out of my mind to the extent that I know that its more important that I do something that he will appreciate rather than focus on my own insecurities about how well I have done it.
He is actually making me feel much more confident about my skills and abilities.

In this particular case....it isn't that that has prevented me...its more like a complete block.

 

[intothewoods]

On the writing itself...if the subject matter itself isn't a struggle, you could try starting with an outline. It's less daunting and gets the ideas flowing. Sometimes I draw circles for each thing I want to touch on, or each character, and then write notes inside the circles. If the subject matter is a struggle, I'd suggest writing where you are at now, and why it is a struggle.

Beyond that, it seems to me that it's not really for you to decide whether your effort was good enough, or whether your writing skills are good enough. Part of the challenge is letting go. I know, that's a hard one!

 

[minx1]

On the writing itself...if the subject matter itself isn't a struggle, you could try starting with an outline. It's less daunting and gets the ideas flowing. Sometimes I draw circles for each thing I want to touch on, or each character, and then write notes inside the circles. If the subject matter is a struggle, I'd suggest writing where you are at now, and why it is a struggle.

Beyond that, it seems to me that it's not really for you to decide whether your effort was good enough, or whether your writing skills are good enough. Part of the challenge is letting go. I know, that's a hard one!

Actually thats a good idea thanks.

Sorry I think I confused things....as usual the whole thing came out as blurt....now you know why I am not confident about writing lol.

But I'm not so much interested in my own situation as I know that this is something that my Master and i will sort out together and ultimately if he decides that a punishment is necessary so be it.

I am however, really interested in how PYLs view it. Is it better to have the task completed even if its done poorly? Is some effort better than none....I would think so. But then again what's the definition of 'effort'? Not when something is completed in a halfhearted fashion I presume .....
and from the pyls...have you ever been in a situation similar to this?

Thanks again

 

[FluteMaster]

I am however, really interested in how PYLs view it. Is it better to have the task completed even if its done poorly? Is some effort better than none....I would think so. But then again what's the definition of 'effort'? Not when something is completed in a halfhearted fashion I presume .....
and from the pyls...have you ever been in a situation similar to this?

Thanks again

If a task is set, then as PYL I would expect it to be seriously attempted. If I set a task, there will be a reason, (there are some PYLs who like the idea of setting random things, but that isn't my style).

If the task is attempted seriously and not done well, then at least that can be discussed, (was it poorly set by me, or beyond the pyl's capability)

If the task was not attempted seriously, (apart from reasons like death, war famine or any other horseman from the apocalypse), then that wold be seen as disrespect to me as I don't set tasks lightly. (And I am not suggesting that applies to you Minx, just setting out my thinking).

And part of submission, in my mind, is that there should be a real attempt to do the task despite all the difficulties.

Sorry if that comes out sounding harsh; it isn't a reflection of your position, but I am thinking on my feet here.

 

[WriterDom]

I think you need a lesson in time management. I'd give you another week, but require a page a day for 7 days.

 

[myinnerslut]

some ideas...
write about an experience youve had that youve enjoyed (since it already happened you know whee the story is going)

write about a fantasy of yours

write about your favorite way to serve him

read some of the BDSM stories for ideas

focus on a specific fetish or action


i have a writing assignment every day and sometimes i just want to forget about it and sleep, but i know i cant. my writing has a specific theme though that A set but even so, sometimes i truly hate sitting down to write it. the dissapointment if i ont and ensuing punishment that is sure to follow is never worth skipping it.

 

[minx1]

If a task is set, then as PYL I would expect it to be seriously attempted. If I set a task, there will be a reason, (there are some PYLs who like the idea of setting random things, but that isn't my style).

If the task is attempted seriously and not done well, then at least that can be discussed, (was it poorly set by me, or beyond the pyl's capability)

If the task was not attempted seriously, (apart from reasons like death, war famine or any other horseman from the apocalypse), then that wold be seen as disrespect to me as I don't set tasks lightly. (And I am not suggesting that applies to you Minx, just setting out my thinking).

And part of submission, in my mind, is that there should be a real attempt to do the task despite all the difficulties.

Sorry if that comes out sounding harsh; it isn't a reflection of your position, but I am thinking on my feet here.

I asked both PYLs and pyls for their opinions FM and I take them all in good grace. I am interested to hear people's take on it and how both sides regard and deal with an issue like that.
And of course I take no offence. I am as confident in my submission and my devotion to my Master, as is He. Thankyou for your points.

 

[minx1]

I think you need a lesson in time management. I'd give you another week, but require a page a day for 7 days.

*smile* Thanks WD, though I am actually ok with time management. Its like I just had a complete block. Every time I sat down to write I couldn't think of any words, never mind the right ones.

But if I may, I would like to get the discussion away from just concentrating on what happened to me and broaden it out a little.

What are you're views? for example, would you rather have a task completed poorly than an apology/explanation as to why it wasn't done at all?

 

[minx1]

some ideas...
write about an experience youve had that youve enjoyed (since it already happened you know whee the story is going)

write about a fantasy of yours

write about your favorite way to serve him

read some of the BDSM stories for ideas

focus on a specific fetish or action


i have a writing assignment every day and sometimes i just want to forget about it and sleep, but i know i cant. my writing has a specific theme though that A set but even so, sometimes i truly hate sitting down to write it. the dissapointment if i ont and ensuing punishment that is sure to follow is never worth skipping it.

thanks mis.....good advice.

I already feel disappointment in myself and in letting him down...actually I feel gutted that I haven't managed it.

 

[WriterDom]

Get busy. Since you've never done this before, the bar can't be set very high. I'd much rather see an attempt than an excuse.

Think of it as school. Is a D better than a zero?

Stop babbling, disconnect the internet, and do it.

 

[minx1]

Get busy. Since you've never done this before, the bar can't be set very high. I'd much rather see an attempt than an excuse.

Think of it as school. Is a D better than a zero?

Stop babbling, disconnect the internet, and do it.

Again I was asking for a discussion in general about peoples feelings and experiences and if they have been in a smiliar position.

Thankyou for you input WD.

I have to say though, that I take exception to your 'babbling' remarks. This is something i was interested in hearing others experiences on and on a personal level, its something that I am genuinely concerned about. I thought therefore that I would raise the question amongst friends and people with experience, and that Lit would be a good place to do this.

As for disconnecting the internet......no, as i am waiting for him

 

[the captians wench]

Okay me personally, I could not face my master knowing I didn't atleast try to complete the task. If it ended up crap, I'd tell him I know it's crap, appologize and prepare for punishment. I also think the punishment would be much worse by far if I didn't even attempt the task.

But in the end, it really doesn't matter if it's completed to your standards, what matters is if the task is completed to his standards. There are some things I think are absolute crap that my master loves.

Well I'll give an example, this isn't my master but my playmate, who really can be harder on me at times. Anyway, he told me to make him a flogger, one his very own that no one else would ever use. When he told this to me I knew exactly what I wanted to make. The picture was crystal clear in my mind. How ever the picture didn't come with instructions and I had never made one like that before. I was worried if I would do good on it, but I tried. I worked hard and did the best I could with the knowledge I do have on the subject. But as much work as I put into it, I wasn't satisfied with it. So when I presented it to him I told him where I was worried about it, what I thought was wrong, and asked him how I might improve. He told me it's a wonderful piece and that I did very well on it, especially since it was the first time I had done one in that way.

I'm a perfectionist too. If it's not perfect I'm not happy, but he saw my effort and saw that I did put all I had into it, and that's what really mattered.

I think this is the same thing. Now there is no excuse for half assing, but if you legitamately put all your effort into it, but don't complete it then there should be some leeway. You stilll didn't complete it, and deserve punishment, but I would think that my master would apreiciate my effort rather than coming up to him and saying "yeah I didn't do it". If I did that to either Master or playmate I'd end up bleeding by the end of it all.

 

[Literotti]

Re: To complete a task or not...that is the question.

Hey everyone,

So here's the deal. My Master set me a task to complete, it was to write an account of something...a story if you like and he gave me a week to write it. The deadline is today. The thing is I haven't done it. Possibly for a couple of reasons. The first being that I find writing very difficult...it's not something that comes naturally and I lack confidence in my writing skills. It doesn't help being a perfectionist...... I am my own worst critic. Having said that, I do understand that its all about pushing my limits and the last writing tasks he set me I struggled with, but thoroughly enjoyed and the sense of achievement it gave me was amazing. For the record, he loves my writing.

Hi, minx1

I totally sympathize with you. First of all, many of us have what is commonly called "writer's block." I've been writing for over 30 years and still experience it from time to time. I am also a perfectionist, and often check my work over and over again. Maybe it's OCD and MPD, but you can never have too many editors. But, having said that, you really need to keep this job in perspective. You have already said that he (your Master) likes your writing. That in itself should help you to feel more confidant.

What is your view.....whatever the case, is it better to complete a task poorly than to not complete it at all?

I think you should complete the task, no matter how much you dislike doing it. Maybe it's my background as a writer and editor for a news magazine with a deadline to meet, but the show must go on and the paper must meet it's publishing deadline.

Good luck!

 

[Irony_Sinclair]

For me, personally, I would already feel that I had failed regardless of the last minute choice to put forth a bad effort or skip it altogether and take the punishment. I would feel I had failed because I procrastinated and wasted my time. So no matter what path I then chose, I would still feel badly.

Not only would I feel that I had failed her, but I'm certain I would feel a sense of failing myself. As, in requesting this writing, she would be doing so for a reason most likely beyond just her own entertainment. Maybe, but this kind of thing, for her anyway, would be more about wanting me to be honest with myself, or push some limits, or whatever, but with the premise being to help me grow.

If I squandered that opportunity I would feel ashamed and remorseful. In all honesty I think I would most likely opt to not produce anything at the last minute. I think that would be more of an insult and contemptuous than a sign of effort. I would be honest with her about why I failed to complete it and want to discuss it with her and ultimately receive whatever correction she so imposed.

In the end, no matter how it ended, I would hope we both learned and grew from the experience. Finding a positive in a negative situation.

Just my .02.

 

[minx1]

For me, personally, I would already feel that I had failed regardless of the last minute choice to put forth a bad effort or skip it altogether and take the punishment. I would feel I had failed because I procrastinated and wasted my time. So no matter what path I then chose, I would still feel badly.

Not only would I feel that I had failed her, but I'm certain I would feel a sense of failing myself. As, in requesting this writing, she would be doing so for a reason most likely beyond just her own entertainment. Maybe, but this kind of thing, for her anyway, would be more about wanting me to be honest with myself, or push some limits, or whatever, but with the premise being to help me grow.

If I squandered that opportunity I would feel ashamed and remorseful. In all honesty I think I would most likely opt to not produce anything at the last minute. I think that would be more of an insult and contemptuous than a sign of effort. I would be honest with her about why I failed to complete it and want to discuss it with her and ultimately receive whatever correction she so imposed.

In the end, no matter how it ended, I would hope we both learned and grew from the experience. Finding a positive in a negative situation.

Just my .02.

Thankyou for your comments Irony. I just finished from being with my Master and honestly could not feel any worse than I do at this moment. I will comment if necessary on peoples posts later, but right now I can't.

 

[minx1]

Hi, minx1

I totally sympathize with you. First of all, many of us have what is commonly called "writer's block." I've been writing for over 30 years and still experience it from time to time. I am also a perfectionist, and often check my work over and over again. Maybe it's OCD and MPD, but you can never have too many editors. But, having said that, you really need to keep this job in perspective. You have already said that he (your Master) likes your writing. That in itself should help you to feel more confidant.


I think you should complete the task, no matter how much you dislike doing it. Maybe it's my background as a writer and editor for a news magazine with a deadline to meet, but the show must go on and the paper must meet it's publishing deadline.

Good luck!

Thankyou for empathising with me Literotti...it means a lot.
I possibly shouldn't have asked for advice when not giving all the facts. Not that it would have changed peoples opinions on fulfilling tasks...but it might have provided more of an understanding of where I was coming from. There are just some things I wanted to and will keep private. Surfice to say the last few weeks have been very difficult for me on many levels and though much of it is no longer an issue it has left its mark. I can only assume thats where my block comes from and I am so frustrated....frustrated because I wanted to write it, but I just couldn't find the words.

 

[SweetErika]

Even though we're both perfectionists, I only expect one thing from my sub: for him to always do his best. Even if the final product is in miserable shape, I see it as a success if he's given it his best shot. On a writing assignment, I may still point out areas that I'd like to be revised or improved upon in future tasks, but I won't punish for a poor result if I see he's worked at his maximum ability on that assignment at that point in time.

If, however, I saw him procrastinate, misuse his time, he didn't tell me he was having difficulties or ask for my help, I'd consider it a punishable failure because we both know that's not his best effort.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

I'm too new of a sub to really have much input on this. But I would rather put all possible effort into something than not doing it at all. I would totally expect to be punished if I didn't try.

 

[HottieMama]

am more interested in your thoughts generally, both subs and Dom/mes please.
What is your view.....whatever the case, is it better to complete a task poorly than to not complete it at all?
As a Dom/me would you be more annoyed/disappointed at a bad or half hearted effort, when you know your sub could do much better, than it not being completed at all? Or would you prefer them to 'be upfront' about the difficulties they were experiencing?

i guess it is better to complete a task poorly because it shows effort, but that is SO HARD for me to do. i am a perfectionist as well, especially when it comes to writing. i want it to be perfect and never fail to have the desired effect on the person reading it. When i am scattered or stressed, i don't think that is possible for me. (Probably largely due to self-doubt...but that's another issue.)

i was in your situation earlier this week. My PYL gave me a small writing assignment that was supposed to be completed within 24 hours. Well, between packing to move next Wed and still trying to maintain my life here, i didn't do it. i would sit down at the computer and look at a blank email form and the words wouldn't come....at least not the words He wanted. So what did i do? i wrote everything i was feeling to Him. Vented all my stress and frustration...with moving, with the assignment..etc. Sent the email, and then we discussed it. After we discussed all those feelings i was able to sit down and complete the task that He assigned.

i don't know if that was any help...but i hope things work out for you...

 

[catalina_francisco]

From one perfectionist (partially reformed ) to others, best thing you can remember is there is no such thing as perfection...it is a myth and illusion.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/458052660_74afe02bbd_m.jpg Catalina

 

[HottieMama]

From one perfectionist (partially reformed ) to others, best thing you can remember is there is no such thing as perfection...it is a myth and illusion.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/458052660_74afe02bbd_m.jpg Catalina

i'm gonna print that out and post it on my monitor. i NEED to remember that!