To bring someone into the scene?

[silken_kitten]

Master and I have been talking of bringing another person to our relationship. She is a switch so can go either way in that stand point. Where I am only a sub and he is only a Dom. What are your views on introducing someone into a standing relationship? What is the best way to accomplish this with a little amount of discomfort to all parties?

 

[WriterDom]

I think in the beginning it works, but problems can come later. When the third wishes he or she was second. Or the second starts to have issues with the third. I've never been in a poly relationship. It's hard enough have something good with one person. But I guess it works for some. Montel is doing a show on this soon. On poly, not sure about the bdsm element.

 

[lovetoread]

Personally doll,I could not do it for a long term relationship.

I am of a too jealous nature and it just wouldnt work for me.

I can however understand your wanting one though. I wish you well in whatever ya'll decide.

 

[TheWanderer]

While this experience has little or no BDSM content, I think it's relevant enough to share...

When I was still with my wife, we took in the gal next door (Eva) after her b/f beat her up. In 'comforting' her, Eva & I ended up fooling around. Shortly thereafter, my wife explored her bi-curious nature and also fooled around with Eva. Later, in another sick twist of fate, heh... we ended up sharing an apartment, all 4 of us.

Eva really enjoyed my time with her, and my attentiveness - but so did my wife... who also enjoyed her time with Eva! It became a real mess, and while we tried to keep everything open and honest, there were a lot of underlying issues - and when we finally had a menage a trois, it was not 'all that', because I seemed to be spending most my time making sure both girls were happy.

So for me, I've come to the realization I'm only interested in 1-1 relationships, with no outside factors (not romantic/sexual, anyway) to muddle the issue. To me, any relationship worth my time and effort is too important to

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying 'Don't have a 3rd person', my advice is just to take it slow and be as (brutally) honest as possible with your Dom.

 

[silken_kitten]

Thank you all for your input. I don't believe we are looking for full time tios. She will be visiting for weekends at a time. But going to see how the first one goes before a commitment is made. And the first one I don't know if we are going to engage in a BDSM scene at all. Perhaps just talk and become comfortable with eachother. Also see exactly what she is expecting and figure out if she wants to be a sub along with me. Or just sub to my Master and Domme to me. She still isn't sure which she would like better and I have no idea how to explain everything unless you are feeling it one on one. Experience is more potent then words.

 

[~Dream~]

Silken love

You just do what is best for You and dont let no one tell you any different (only Your Master)

 

[maddi]

Wow, I have been in this dilemma...

Some wise thread I read somewhere (on lit.) said before you start a polyamorous relationship talk about it, talk about it some more and when you are sick of talking... talk about it again. I will try to find the link and post it later.... but....

It all comes down to clearly defined expectations, knowing when to call it quits if it doesn't work and for us, did we have the time to put into another committed relationship?

After all attachments can happen very quickly and be very painful.

I think when you all meet you should spend the time talking till you are blue in the face. Take a break for eating.... and talk again some more. Whatever you do... good luck!