...tips....

[mathis847]

alright .. as yall know , or should know after reading my last post about my bf leaving for europe .. he will be home in 2 1/2 weeks .. i figured that i could do something really nice/sweet/romantic for him .. im wondering how to go about it .. what i have come up with thus far , is making him a nice dinner ... i wanted to buy something really cute to wear too .. im just not sure about it , seeing how i dont exactly have the perfect figure and stuff , and well for me , im self concious about my body .. so .. basically what im asking ( men mostly but women can respond too ) is what do yall think i could do for when he comes home .. he wants me to spice things up a bit .. and i want to as well .. but i want it to be romantic before we get to the sex .. i dont want to just rush into it .. you know ? so yeah , dinner and then what ..

 

[silverwhisper]

it would be helpful to know what things are already a regular part of your sex life before people start suggesting stuff.

ed

 

[SweetErika]

Have you been through The Blank Manual sticky at the top of the forum? Lots of ideas in there, including threads on spicing things up, romance, lingerie, etc.

I don't want to derail this thread, but out of curiosity, what's he doing to spice it up and improve sex and the relationship?

 

[SweetErika]

it would be helpful to know what things are already a regular part of your sex life before people start suggesting stuff.

ed

That, too.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I don't want to derail this thread, but out of curiosity, what's he doing to spice it up and improve sex and the relationship?

Well, I've always felt that it was the party at home who is charged with planning a special welcome home. It's hard, after all, to plan something when you arent' there to plan. At least that's how the wife and I do it.

Now, that said, I hope he's bringing something special back for her.

 

[SweetErika]

Well, I've always felt that it was the party at home who is charged with planning a special welcome home. It's hard, after all, to plan something when you arent' there to plan. At least that's how the wife and I do it.

Now, that said, I hope he's bringing something special back for her.

Absolutely; I was more questioning the "he wants me to spice things up a bit" part, given her other threads and perceived state of the relationship. Mathis seems like a pleaser and someone who works really hard in a relationship, which is wonderful and necessary, but not great if she's the only one working hard to save it. I just hope it's not all (or mostly even) on her shoulders and her efforts are matched with appreciation and the same from him, instead of blame, laziness and guilt because she deserves better than that.

 

[emap]

I don't know how romantic this idea is, but perhaps wrapping yourself up in some wrapping paper with a bow. When he gets home show off to him and tell him no opening your present until after dinner.

Though only do that if he is trying to spice things up also, if he comes to you at times and says let's try doing this, pulls out edible underwear or something before sex happens, if he does things like that wrap yourself up as a present, if he doesn't, move before he comes home.

Seriously, if he is telling you to spice things up and not helping to spice things up, you don't want to stay there because he is a user. The top and bottom in a D/s relationship both do things to spice it up in the bedroom, or elsewhere.

 

[mathis847]

well , its not exactly so much as hes not willing to help spice things up .. for instance when we had our little " talk " it was the night before he left for europe .. so .. but ... just when he gets home , i want to do something nice and special for him .. just to show him i care .. as for going home , i was going to sunday night .. but for a different reason , my grandma passed away in tennessee so i was about on my way to tennessee for the funeral .. but a friend decided she had to be a bitch about how to get there even though she didnt know her ass from a whole in the ground on the topic and i did ( seeing how ive traveled back and forth about 20 times ) so yeah , i decided i wasnt going to deal with the stress so i stayed here in illinois .. as for going down there , ill wait til he comes home and ill have him take me down there to see her grave .. it can wait technically speaking .. anywho though back on the topic at hand .. im just not sure how to go about everything .. i was planning on like , cooking him a nice steak dinner and real potatos and corn , with cornbread .. something hot and just nice .. and doing that along with eating in a sexy/non-slutty peice of lingerie ... and basically just teasing him a bit ... you know .. the whole " you can look but cant touch " thing ... i know that would drive him wild , anyhow .. thanks guys for the tips so far

 

[Trinny]

The self consious part stuck out to me a lot in your post, mainly because I have the same problem with my body. But, he is your partner who I'm sure loves you just the way you are, so try something exciting that you wouldn't normally do or something that would normally make you feel shy. Like wearing sexy underwear (Or none if you wish ) under normal clothes, and boy would he have a surprise! And basically make him want more, keep a little mystery to yourself.

As before you get intimate if that's your plan, just do what feels normal. Try turning it the other way around - What would you want when returning home?

 

[emap]

That does sound great, heck you made me hungry.

One question though, have you worn nice not slutty lingerie for him before?

Because if you have, your not really spicing things up. Of course go with what your comfortable with, but also spice it up, so if you have worn that sort of lingerie before, add in something else, even something like handcuffs for you or him in bed.

I don't know what you and haven't done with him, but you do have to add a little bit of spice, not much but a little, like say you want to be tied down whipped and spanked until your red all over, don't do everythign at once, start out with tying down, then do some whipping then spanking, or vice versa on whipping and spanking and then bring them all together so you have being tied down, whipping and spanking.

Heck if you never have with him, talk dirty or be his little slave girl or something. Spice things up isn't hard, doesn't take rocket scientitsts and tons of cash, just have to do soemthing different, even on your stomach instead of your back.

 

[mathis847]

That does sound great, heck you made me hungry.

One question though, have you worn nice not slutty lingerie for him before?

Because if you have, your not really spicing things up. Of course go with what your comfortable with, but also spice it up, so if you have worn that sort of lingerie before, add in something else, even something like handcuffs for you or him in bed.

I don't know what you and haven't done with him, but you do have to add a little bit of spice, not much but a little, like say you want to be tied down whipped and spanked until your red all over, don't do everythign at once, start out with tying down, then do some whipping then spanking, or vice versa on whipping and spanking and then bring them all together so you have being tied down, whipping and spanking.

Heck if you never have with him, talk dirty or be his little slave girl or something. Spice things up isn't hard, doesn't take rocket scientitsts and tons of cash, just have to do soemthing different, even on your stomach instead of your back.

well im glad i made you hungry

alright .. no .. ive never worn lingerie for him before .. ive never worn it period.. heck i dont even know how to shop for it we really have done a whole lot .. weve done everything thats tranditional , ive done anal for him , ive swallowed .. weve tried a few different positions , although some are impossible for me .. some of the positions hurt .. really .. we havent done a whole lot ... im pretty much open to all ideas , i want to at least give them a try at least once ..

we do have hand cuffs , never did use them on him though ... im not sure how to really .. a friend gave me the idea of hand cuffing him , blind fold him , go down on him slowly , work my way up to his lips , both legs on either side of his , and like , slowly tease him by rubbing his cock on my pussy, or sliding it in for a bit , then pulling out .. she said it should make him go wild .. as for the sex , thats what i thought about trying .. its just that im not that spontanious , im not good at doing it .. since ive never tried it before so thats why im kind of looking for ideas on here .. maybe to change things up a bit instead of just the teasing and then onto regular sex , cause i dont want regular sex

 

[KravMaga]

well im glad i made you hungry

alright .. no .. ive never worn lingerie for him before .. ive never worn it period.. heck i dont even know how to shop for it we really have done a whole lot .. weve done everything thats tranditional , ive done anal for him , ive swallowed .. weve tried a few different positions , although some are impossible for me .. some of the positions hurt .. really .. we havent done a whole lot ... im pretty much open to all ideas , i want to at least give them a try at least once ..

we do have hand cuffs , never did use them on him though ... im not sure how to really .. a friend gave me the idea of hand cuffing him , blind fold him , go down on him slowly , work my way up to his lips , both legs on either side of his , and like , slowly tease him by rubbing his cock on my pussy, or sliding it in for a bit , then pulling out .. she said it should make him go wild .. as for the sex , thats what i thought about trying .. its just that im not that spontanious , im not good at doing it .. since ive never tried it before so thats why im kind of looking for ideas on here .. maybe to change things up a bit instead of just the teasing and then onto regular sex , cause i dont want regular sex

sounds like you've had a pretty adventerous sexlife thus far. What does he like? Does he like to go down on you? Has he ever said you know what I would like to try? Things like this. That being said, your friend has certainly given you a pretty good idea. Making him wait while tied up is not a bad thing at all. You could add to that. While he is away you can try a vibrator on yourself. If it works for you, you could put on a little show for him while he's handcuffed. Maybe, a nice slow strip. And tell him that while he was away you were missing him and needed to try to find something to scratch that itch. Then you put on a show for him and get yourself really hot. Then start working on him the way your friend described. Take him up and down really slow without letting him climax. When you finally bring him off you will blow his mind (so to speak). Pick up an issue of Penthouse letters or variations or some nice women's erotica (go to tinynibbles.com for some suggestions). The thing is to let your mind go and think out of the box. And most importantly, have fun.

 

[emap]

I say go with what your friend said, and KravMaga.

They are right, if you have never tied him up, do that and do it slow. Though have a few ready phrases to ease him into being handcuffed. Especially good is to tell him next time it's all your show, we will do whatever you want to do.

 

[mathis847]

alright well thanks guys , at least i know im on the right track thus far im pretty sure he will go for being hand cuffed and blind folded .. hes the one that said to spice things up so .. thats what he shall get anywho .. its still going to be awhile before i get the chance hes in europe and wont be back til the 24th .. but it doesnt hurt to plan ahead right .. thanks alot guys .. oh and keep the suggestions coming .. cant hurt to read more and possibly try more ..

 

[mathis847]

alright well thanks guys , at least i know im on the right track thus far im pretty sure he will go for being hand cuffed and blind folded .. hes the one that said to spice things up so .. thats what he shall get anywho .. its still going to be awhile before i get the chance hes in europe and wont be back til the 24th .. but it doesnt hurt to plan ahead right .. thanks alot guys .. oh and keep the suggestions coming .. cant hurt to read more and possibly try more ..

oh , thats another thing .. this has happened to me twice now .. while i was going down on him , he asked me to suck on his balls .. lick .. ya know .. so ... i did ... and honestly , i did it gently .. because i didnt know if id mess it up somehow .. well ... i hurt him ! like .. literally , he screamed .. and i dont know what i did wrong , or if something is wrong with his balls .. do you guys know what could possibly be the problem ???????

 

[TBKahuna123]

oh , thats another thing .. this has happened to me twice now .. while i was going down on him , he asked me to suck on his balls .. lick .. ya know .. so ... i did ... and honestly , i did it gently .. because i didnt know if id mess it up somehow .. well ... i hurt him ! like .. literally , he screamed .. and i dont know what i did wrong , or if something is wrong with his balls .. do you guys know what could possibly be the problem ???????

No problem, balls are just sensitive! I've had the same situation where my wife gets a little too enthusiastic and sucks too hard and it hurts like hell! Even worse, she was all hot and bothered one night and reached out and grabbed the boys aggressively.

I was in the fetal position trying not to throw up for a good 15 minutes. Firm, but not rough, that's the key. You have to use a bot more care with the balls than you do the cock. I don't know what those grazing nut shots hurt so dang much. Must be a defense mechanism.

 

[mathis847]

No problem, balls are just sensitive! I've had the same situation where my wife gets a little too enthusiastic and sucks too hard and it hurts like hell! Even worse, she was all hot and bothered one night and reached out and grabbed the boys aggressively.

I was in the fetal position trying not to throw up for a good 15 minutes. Firm, but not rough, that's the key. You have to use a bot more care with the balls than you do the cock. I don't know what those grazing nut shots hurt so dang much. Must be a defense mechanism.

thing is though , i never did it hard .. like .. ive done it before ..once or twice .. and it never hurt him before .. just the last two times its hurt him .. and ive barely even gotten my mouth on him at that point . he just screamed , and we were both laughing afterwards about it , and then he pulled my nipple so i screamed and yeah , we laughed some more .. lol ... but i was just curious as to why it could be that i hurt him when i barely applied preasure .. alrighty then .. thanks .. now i know nothing is wrong with his balls lol

 

[KravMaga]

thing is though , i never did it hard .. like .. ive done it before ..once or twice .. and it never hurt him before .. just the last two times its hurt him .. and ive barely even gotten my mouth on him at that point . he just screamed , and we were both laughing afterwards about it , and then he pulled my nipple so i screamed and yeah , we laughed some more .. lol ... but i was just curious as to why it could be that i hurt him when i barely applied preasure .. alrighty then .. thanks .. now i know nothing is wrong with his balls lol

Now don't quote me here, I'm no rocket scientist, I don't like to jump to conclusions, but maybe......, just maybe.... it might be a good idea after spending all this time preparing for a night to knock his socks off if you stayed away from his balls. What do ya think? Start working on that show prep!

Remember..

vibrator/strip show/handcuffs/delay = good.......
testicles touching = bad!

 

[emap]

As a general course, I would say not putting his balls in your mouth. It's entirely possible in doing so you are twisting them and causing a pulling action.

Also possible he's having a funny with you.

Anyway, next time your down there, instead of sucking his balls in your mouth, cup them with your hand and lavish them with your tongue, seems to feel just as good and your not doing anything to cause pain, well unless you say nip at his skin and bite a tad hard. I've been there, though he fell asleep on me so I was perfectly correct in biting, I am sure the guys will disagree, but hey falling asleep on her while she is doing a blowjob with ball action is not a good idea anyway.

 

[mathis847]

hmmm .. well .. im deffinitly not putting his balls in my mouth anymore , ive already told him that .. im scared ill hurt him again .. whether im gentle or not , i wont do it again .. lol ... i dont think hes having a " funny " with me though , he really did scream loudly but yeah , i deffinitly plan on going through with what ive said so far .. i think its pretty decent .. he wants me to spice things up , so .. im going to .. i just hope he enjoys it .. cause im a little nervous , seeing how ive never stripped before , or worn lingerie .. anyhow .. thanks guys

 

[lovedbypatti]

hmmm .. well .. im deffinitly not putting his balls in my mouth anymore , ive already told him that .. im scared ill hurt him again .. whether im gentle or not , i wont do it again .. lol ... i dont think hes having a " funny " with me though , he really did scream loudly but yeah , i deffinitly plan on going through with what ive said so far .. i think its pretty decent .. he wants me to spice things up , so .. im going to .. i just hope he enjoys it .. cause im a little nervous , seeing how ive never stripped before , or worn lingerie .. anyhow .. thanks guys

Hiya Mathis, I'm new here and thought I'd jump in. My wife and I have "romantic" candlelit dinners in front of our fireplace in the living room. Spicing things up can also mean a change of scenery. Also, while I was a bit skeptical of the handcuffs idea, now I think you've found a winner! Why? Because it really sounds like you love the idea. Here's a list of tips to consider:

1. The more revealing your outfit, the less he will be listening to you...and looking into your eyes. Especially after an extended absence. So I'd suggest a floorlength gown or robe or ?. If you tease him with some or a lot of cleavage, believe me he will be aroused enough.

1a. If you are ever going to get him in those handcuffs, you have to avoid being ravaged on the entry-hall steps. Guess what he's been thinking about every minute of that drive from the airport to your place? So...this is your "gift" to him and he needs to understand and respect it. When he "gets" it, he will begin to look around and realize all the "work" and "effort" you put in just for him. After that, you will reap all the rewards. You have to be "in-charge". Say this..."not now honey, we're going to have dinner first." Say it Again. Again. Again. Practice makes perfect.

2. Two bedroom ideas:

-Don't go there. Finish dinner and stoke the fire and cuff him to he couch.
-Have him cuffed and naked so you can watch his "reactions" to your game. One thing that would really "spice it up", as I read your posts...would be to slowly strip and then tell him how much you missed him; and, then show him what you were "forced" to do while he was gone. Masterbate in front of him. He will not believe the sex kitten you've become.

Oh yeah...at some point you can let him touch you. Have a grand time!

PS. Lick my balls means lick like a lollypop, I'll bet that's what he was expecting.

 

[mathis847]

update

Hiya Mathis, I'm new here and thought I'd jump in. My wife and I have "romantic" candlelit dinners in front of our fireplace in the living room. Spicing things up can also mean a change of scenery. Also, while I was a bit skeptical of the handcuffs idea, now I think you've found a winner! Why? Because it really sounds like you love the idea. Here's a list of tips to consider:

1. The more revealing your outfit, the less he will be listening to you...and looking into your eyes. Especially after an extended absence. So I'd suggest a floorlength gown or robe or ?. If you tease him with some or a lot of cleavage, believe me he will be aroused enough.

1a. If you are ever going to get him in those handcuffs, you have to avoid being ravaged on the entry-hall steps. Guess what he's been thinking about every minute of that drive from the airport to your place? So...this is your "gift" to him and he needs to understand and respect it. When he "gets" it, he will begin to look around and realize all the "work" and "effort" you put in just for him. After that, you will reap all the rewards. You have to be "in-charge". Say this..."not now honey, we're going to have dinner first." Say it Again. Again. Again. Practice makes perfect.

2. Two bedroom ideas:

-Don't go there. Finish dinner and stoke the fire and cuff him to he couch.
-Have him cuffed and naked so you can watch his "reactions" to your game. One thing that would really "spice it up", as I read your posts...would be to slowly strip and then tell him how much you missed him; and, then show him what you were "forced" to do while he was gone. Masterbate in front of him. He will not believe the sex kitten you've become.

Oh yeah...at some point you can let him touch you. Have a grand time!

PS. Lick my balls means lick like a lollypop, I'll bet that's what he was expecting.

well its obviously been awhile since ive been on here to post anything .. bf came home .. instead of being at home , with the roomie .. a friend told us we could stay at her house , therefore being ALONE .. which was real nice .. we went to the toy shop , bought some cool stuff .. and well .. we had fun .. i was shocked actually .. but that night wasnt even comparable to last night .. i dont know what got into him .. i mean , we were on here , reading stories as people have suggested .. we read mostly anal sex stories , i know hes real into it .. so im up for it .. well .. it was great .. after reading a couple stories , we didnt really act out them , we kind of made our own story .. it was real nice .. it wasnt about him last night .. it was all about me .. we tried something new , really nice .. i never would have thought i would like it , double penetration .. he used a toy in my butt , and then had regular intercourse with me at the same time .. that was actually the best sex ive ever experienced ! just thought i would keep you a little updated on things .. we did have a talk about everything that has been going on since hes been gone , and he agrees that we need to make changes .. we talked about moving out , well .. not as soon as i really want , but .. im willing to keep trying .. were both going to keep trying .. i told him that if i didnt think it would work i would have done been gone .. he read all of my posts in here too lol .. i kind of felt a little akward .. i told him though if he didnt understand something i said on here he could always ask and i would explain .. pretty much all he had to say was we already talked about everything in here , so there was no need to go right back to it again .. i do think he realizes that he was messing up quite a bit before .. i do think he will try .. or im really hoping .. he said he knows he needs to make changes , i told him no we both do , its not just one or the other , its both .. so .. i think were on agreement here with everything ive been talking about to him .. whew .. now that thats over with .. wish me luck , or us .. wish us luck .. i think we will both deffinitly need it !

anyways , im going to watch my movie ..

in the mean time , can anything think of any other tips on spicing things up with us .. oh , btw , i did tell him about what my plans were when he got home .. the whole , wearing something sexy making him dinner and all .. and even though i never got to do all of that , he said i can always surprise him with it another time .. he thought it would be hot to come home to me wearing something cute and sexy , along with dinner ..

so yeah , im looking for some more tips , just things in general of how i can " wow " him .. i want to show him every time how much i care about him ..

thanks alot patti for being there to talk to

comment back soon :smile: