Tips on wife sharing

[lgdiam]

I am in dire need of expert advice on how to get my wife to have a three-some with another male in our relationship. We are a happily married white couple in Ohio in our mid-thirties. She is well educated with two degrees in the medical field and I have a degree in computer science. Our sex life is great and she can give the best blow job that I ever had. We have had sex in public, went to adult video stores and had sex in a booth and let guys feel here 44 DD’s tits. Wow that was great hearing the guy say those are the best tits he had ever felt and told the guys outside they were real.
That is as close as we have come to having an mmf encounter. She knows it’s my fantasy to see her with another man and we have talked about it. During sex she will ask me if I want to see her suck on a big cock. She knows that it turns me on. We talk about it but it’s never happened and I want this so bad.
Without her knowledge I joined a swinger site and put the same thing in the profile that I am telling you. I got plenty of responses from guys willing to help me out, but the photos they sent wasn’t really them. One day I did meet a really nice guy and he was genuine. He was coming into town and wanted to meet us for drinks, that’s great and all, but we don’t drink. I told her that I meet a guy online and that I wanted her to meet him. Well she chickened out at the last minute and made me look like an ass. To this day she said “I wish I would have done it”. During sex she still asks me if I want to see her with another man and my answer is always yes.
I need some advice here.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Take her to a local swingers club and let her get acquainted with someone of her own choosing. That'll make it easier for her and you'll get your wish.

The main thing is going to be her comfort. People are far more likely to do something spontaneous when they're comfortable with what's going on around them. Just having your wife meet this guy that you picked out probably made her nervous.

Also, don't forget to explicitly define any borders that the two of you might not want crossed. There's another thread in here where the guy let his wife be with another man and then she got attached to the other guy. They didn't discuss limitations.

Some swingers won't kiss another person, some won't allow another man to cum in them, others don't want their husbands to do another woman anally, etc., etc., etc. ...

Obviously there are also those that are perfectly fine with no boundaries being in place.

From what I've been told it's always good to have something special that is set aside for just the two of you. Something that she will not give to another man or that you will not give to another woman. That way there's always something that is just for the two of you to do that you can keep sacred from anyone else.

If I think of anything else I'll come back.

 

[SweetErika]

People talk and fantasize during sex, but that doesn't necessarily mean they want to realize those fantasies. Sit down with her in a non-sexual situation and ask her what she really thinks and feels. Visit some websites and browse some personals TOGETHER. If she's not so excited about the reality, give it some time and don't push. Frankly, I'd put the ball in her court...ask her to think about it and invite her to look for a guy she might be interested in meeting. If she follows through on it, great, but if she doesn't, it's still a fun fantasy, and she may change her mind later. You might also want to consider smaller steps like cybering and phone or cam sex with another guy. The bottom line is that if she doesn't do this because she really wants to for HER, there's going to be a lot of guilt and resentment in the future.

 

[lisasmurf]

baby steps

yes go cyber
get cam have her or both get on line and have her flash or do what u want too
have sex or oral.. let her see what out there

there are some Real Big ones

try like
www.webcamnow.com

 

[morgothsmate]

Good site that one Lisa,
I thought I was going to lose my computer. Its a sleazy invade your computer spy site.
Tks

 

[Lynxie]

As Erika said, the most important thing when discussing any type of fantasy is to do it in a non-sexual setting. This will allow both of you to think it through rationally. If you decide then that you still want to go through with it, finding a partner online via webcam might be a good first step to take. Swingers' parties or meeting services might be another way to find someone. A good site that I've found is swappernet.com, and I'm sure there are plenty of others out there. Also, it's really important to lay out ground rules before you introduce another person into your sex life. Talk about how far you'll let the other man go with your wife, what safety precautions you'll be taking, and what to do in various situations (i.e. what if she likes the guy, but you don't). And finally, it's probably a good idea to meet the person in a non-sexual situation to get to know him before you bring him into your bedroom (or hotel room, or whatever the case may be).

 

[fille]

I agree that letting her choose the man will greatly increase your chances. Most women can't just have sex with someone for a big cock or nice body alone - she has to find him attractive over all. Also, while she may have a desire to do it, she may also feel insecure about how it could affect your relationship with each other. You really need to talk that through very thoroughly and be as sure as you can about how you will feel afterwards.

 

[Eilan]

First of all, you can't "make," "get," or "convince" your wife to do something she isn't sure she wants to do! Like SweetErika said, sometimes fantasy is better left as fantasy. It's possible that she's only saying what she thinks YOU want to hear.

You say that you're happily married. If so, that's good. This is not something you do to resurrect a dying relationship.

I think that you shouldn't have put a personal ad on a swinger's site without her knowledge. That, not your wife's "chickening out," makes you look like an ass (just using your words here)!
However, if she does decide she's interested in pursuing a MMF, work on the profile together (or let her do it on her own) and always let her make the final decision!

Don't have sex on the first meeting! Get together for dinner and drinks (soft drinks for you two if you don't drink) and, like others have already said, set forth some ground rules (those will vary from person to person). You could also communicate with someone via email and/or IM before you meet in person; that way, he's not a TOTAL stranger.

At any rate, be safe and good luck!

 

[Sh0t]

I'm surprised there isn't a sub-forum for us wife-sharing inclined people.

 

[sexyscots69]

Experience

I have a little experience with the psychological aspect of this topic (which is the most important part to get right - the sex can be practiced).

When my wife and I began talking about the possibility of having "a third" in bed it was good conversation and we both agreed to keep an eye out and let the other know if we met someone we thought should be considered. That's all good, but anytime you tell your wife "Hey, she's hot, I want to have her in bed with us." there is bound to be a little jealousy involved...so I knew we were on the right track, but me just pointing out a woman and expecting her to say "Yeah sure" was a pipe dream. I began thinking of ways to gently suggest a woman or to get her to meet women I liked and hope she'd make the move...you know, make her think it was her idea.

I had a female friend who let me in on the fact that she was experienced and we knew we had some physical attraction anyway, so I told her about my situation and we agreed to begin an e-mail dialogue between her and my wife and hope it would blossom into something more.

It blew up in my face. My wife felt manipulated when she was introduced to my friend....she automatically started trying to figure out why I would want her to meet my friend.

The moral of the story.....just plant the seed and walk away for awhile. Don't harp on the idea. If you and she have had a sober conversation about the idea and you both agree that she is in charge of the choosing you can just bring it up every month or two when you're having a particularly "open" conversation about how you love each other and enjoy this, or that in bed. If you try to steer this - it'll bite you in the ass.

 

[tbon45]

take it from me do not do it. if you do make sure you have a very strong relationship. i know from experiance.