Tips, info, and stories

[sweetnymphomania]

I'm a new sub and would just like to know what kinds of tips, info, or stories that anyone has.
I'm 18 and in my Senior year of High School. I'm an owned slave, but am kind of nervous. Sir is pretty well known in the D/s lifestyle (He teaches a lot of classes on it). Since I'm His, I'm going to be looked on as an example...I'm shy (in large groups of people) and, as stated, new to the lifestyle.
Any tips, info, or stories that you think will help would be appreciated

 

[Primalex]

I'm 18 and in my Senior year of High School. I'm an owned slave, but am kind of nervous. Sir is pretty well known in the D/s lifestyle (He teaches a lot of classes on it). Since I'm His, I'm going to be looked on as an example...

I guess, if you mess up, it's his fault. That's kinda handy, isn't it?

Did he put you into situations where you didn't know what to do or what was expected of you? If not, why do you think he will?

 

[Stella_Omega]

I agree with Primalex.

If your Sir is that good at what he does, he will be good at teaching you what he wants from you.

I am very leery of someone so young becoming an "owned slave" right off the bat like this. Do you know why he wants to own you? Do you know what that is going to mean? That's just my kneejerk reaction though-- hopefully you have thought long and hard about this relationship before you entered into it.

In fact-- I've come back to point out something; since you're his you're going to be looked on as an example by different groups of people. For (most) het sub women, you will be an example of how he treats his slaves. For (most) het Dom men, you'll be an example of how he trains his slaves.

What will you represent for yourself?

Anyone can teach classes, honestly. Do you know for sure that this man is well regarded-- by men, sure, but by women (since a woman is what you are)? Do you know for a fact that he's never assaulted, never "accidentally" scarred, never ignored limits?

 

[sweetnymphomania]

Thanks for the concern However, I'd like to but the two of you at ease.
First, believe me when I say that I can trust my Master and He really is a great one. He's done a lot for me. Its a long story that I'm not going to waste peoples time by telling here. If someone wants to hear it (for whatever reason), PM me. Apart from that my Master is actually a Grand Master among several communities. He is respected by Doms and subs.
Second, I may be young, but I know how to take care of myself and have been through a lot. I've been depressed, betrayed, abused, blamed myself for the death of a loved one, been near death, and a few other things. I'm saying this to prove that I know better than to trust blindly. It might sound bad to some, but I'm the type that believes in background checks and keeping some cards close to my chest.
Third, I know He won't put me in a position that I can't handle. I'm just the type of person that worries about things even when I know I shouldn't. That's mainly due to the fact that, in my experience, you get hurt if you ignore any little detail (I'm very suspicious (obviously), but Sir is helping me with that slowly). I worry about every little thing, whether there is a just reason for doing so or not.
Anyway, now that I've explained all that, I hope it makes things clearer...Also, I'd still like to hear anything anyone has to say to me (whether on here or PM)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Glad to hear it

I would say, that in a TPE relationship (I.E. owned slave) your master is responsible for teaching you what he expects from you-- and you are NOT responsible for your presentation until then. You can't second guess or anticipate what your responsibilities will be until he gives them to you...

 

[sweetnymphomania]

*nods* Since I'm new, He's working on teaching me things slowly. For example, acting like a lady.
Like I said, I worry about things that I know I shouldn't *rolls eyes*

 

[CutieMouse]

Just because I'm feeling more curious than usual today... how exactly does the Senior in high school + owned slave + [I presume] parents/family thing work?

And are my eyes failing/mind to scattered to remember clearly, or didn't the OP originally include a link to said master's website?

 

[sweetnymphomania]

First, it did. The moderator thought it was a spam and deleted it. If you want the link, I can send it to you.
Second, hard as hell *rolls eyes*. Looking forward to graduating and moving to college, it'll be MUCH easier then.

 

[Primalex]

Apart from that my Master is actually a Grand Master among several communities.

Grand Master of Dominance.

Not bad.


Sounds like a Steam achievement.

 

[sweetnymphomania]

lol *shrugs*
It is pretty strange that that's happened to ME! lol

 

[midwestyankee]

lol *shrugs*
It is pretty strange that that's happened to ME! lol

No it's not. It happens to a thousand gullible young women every month.

 

[sweetnymphomania]

Might be true...except that I am anything but gullible. Hell, I always look for lies in every damned thing I hear. The point is that I trust my Master. Why? Not because He told me to, but because He has earned my trust (which I assure you, is NOT easy)

 

[sweetnymphomania]

So...I'm assuming that apart from concern, no one has anything to say....?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

So...I'm assuming that apart from concern, no one has anything to say....?

It's ... difficult, SN. My major advice/tips would be to, at all times, as much as possible,

• be yourself;
• take care of yourself.

In other (more) words,

• don't pretend to be some world-weary, been everywhere, done it all, jaded, experienced bon vivant. Be the young, vibrant, INexperienced (but eager) young woman you are who wants to live and learn and broaden your horizons;
• be careful to consider every activity offered to you in terms of what it might do to you, both physically and emotionally. If something squicks you out, or gives you concern that it could be damaging to you at this point in your life, simply say, "That squicks me out; I'm not ready for it," or "I don't want to do that; I'm not ready for it."

In the long run, your Master and everyone around the two of you will respect you for a levelheaded, intelligent person who is capable of taking care of herself and willing to set sensible limits.

 

[CutieMouse]

So...I'm assuming that apart from concern, no one has anything to say....?

Well, for myself, it's difficult to offer up tips, information or stories when I perceive an attitude of

"I'm inexperienced, but have the perfect relationship [at 18!!!]... Your concern (which btw could be viewed as information/tips) is sweet, but I know what I'm doing. I know I'm 18, but I've had this hard hard life, so [being inexperienced] I already know all this stuff... Besides, my master runs this [paid membership, if I remember correctly?] forum for submissives and does demos and stuff, so I'm good. Did I mention I did all of this before graduating high school? So sorry for all you [experienced] suckers who didn't accomplish this [by 18]."

Now, a lot of that I can attribute to youth, and just let it roll. I didn't respond to your original post (with the link), because my initial reaction was SPAM. Well hidden SPAM, but SPAM. My second reaction (upon clicking through the link) was "oh gawd not that submissive journey bullshit... "

I'm trying to be less persnickety in my old age, and thought it best to stay quiet, rather than voice my opinion.

It's not that complicated, really. Trust your gut; you'll figure things out.

 

[seela]

Tips:

Don't expect people to read your mind
Own your shit
Think it through

Works for most everything in life, including a D/s relationship.

Also: drink enough water.

 

[sweetnymphomania]

Ok...Let's see if I can do this, because obviously, I did a bad job the first time through. I'll go ahead and point out that I suck with words. I know what I want to say, but I seem unable to say it or say it properly.

To seela, SW, and mouse: Thanks for the tips. I defiantly agree that I need to do my best to take care of myself (I'd be a damned fool if I didn't).

To mouse: I'm sorry that I'm coming across like that to you. I don't have the perfect relationship, to be honest I don't even believe in it (every relationship has lots of problems, there is none without any). I don't believe that I've been through EVERYthing. The reason I mentioned that I have had SOME hard times was so that people didn't go "Poor naive kid. She probably still believes that everything in the world is perfect and is thinking she is so courageous to be experiencing this type of life". I'm ONLY 18, I get that, I know that I have TONS to learn (hell, everyone does). I'm just trying to say that I'm not...like I described before. Also, I wouldn't have asked for tips, info, and stories (forgot to put opinions in that thing), if I didn't want them.

I've probably come off as being an all-knowing full-of-herself bitch again, but I hope not...I really am trying not to. I just suck at forming my thoughts into words that make sense to people other than myself :\

 

[Scentofawoman]

That right there is a good start. Humbleness in understanding of your mistakes. Your self expression will come with maturity. Right now yes, you are just to young.

Best thing for you is to lurk and read. Soak up as much knowledge as you can from those that have the experience. You are correct, each of us is always learning, you are just starting youR journey.

 

[Etoile]

I didn't respond to your original post (with the link), because my initial reaction was SPAM. Well hidden SPAM, but SPAM.

Which was my thinking as well, as we've had a lot of seemingly quite relevant spam on here lately, that is nonetheless still spam. I assume they're scraping old posts and slipping in their link so we hopefully won't notice it. That's what I figured OP's original post was.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Tips:

Don't expect people to read your mind
Own your shit
Think it through

Works for most everything in life, including a D/s relationship.

Also: drink enough water.

This. *smiling@seela~swoon*




To the OP ~ When it comes to necessary resilience at such a tender age it is so easy to blur the lines between feeling the strength of newly reclaimed self confidence and actual maturity. Just because your life experiences are similar to those much older than you, it does not mean that you are actually as experienced as they are. Please know that I do not mean being immature as an insult in any way... innocence is precious and should be spent prudently especially when some of yours was obviously lost or taken.

I can't remember where I read it, but it supposedly takes 10,000 hours of repetition for the human to achieve mastery at any given skill... at 18, with much adversity you have faced you simply haven't had much time to just breathe and stretch in your own adult skin yet. Please be kind to and patient with you and allow yourself some time to get to know and love yourself too.

If you can find a way to just listen, really be open to the voices of experience here (and other mentors and friends in your life of course), yes, even if ( and really especially when) it challenges what you know to be "true"... you could benefit immensely and hopefully spare yourself a few unnecessary pains and enrich the many joys that are sure to come in life as well. Sometimes these opinions will simply reaffirm your core beliefs, sometimes they will make you pause and reconsider... either way, it is a good thing to do.

Maybe you are completely right and your Master is a wonderful fit for you...I honestly hope that he is. I also hope that this relationship with him acts as a sort of support and springboard for you to really experience all that life outside of "just surviving" can offer...and not just a limitation. Please give yourself enough room to grow wildly as you really should in the springtime of your life.

There is a Chinese proverb that I love that goes something like... "Patience is wisdom in waiting." It has helped me more times than I can count.

I wish you the very best.

 

[seela]

To the OP ~ When it comes to necessary resilience at such a tender age it is so easy to blur the lines between feeling the strength of newly reclaimed self confidence and actual maturity. Just because your life experiences are similar to those much older than you, it does not mean that you are actually as experienced as they are. Please know that I do not mean being immature as an insult in any way... innocence is precious and should be spent prudently especially when some of yours was obviously lost or taken.

I can't remember where I read it, but it supposedly takes 10,000 hours of repetition for the human to achieve mastery at any given skill... at 18, with much adversity you have faced you simply haven't had much time to just breathe and stretch in your own adult skin yet. Please be kind to and patient with you and allow yourself some time to get to know and love yourself too.

If you can find a way to just listen, really be open to the voices of experience here (and other mentors and friends in your life of course), yes, even if ( and really especially when) it challenges what you know to be "true"... you could benefit immensely and hopefully spare yourself a few unnecessary pains and enrich the many joys that are sure to come in life as well. Sometimes these opinions will simply reaffirm your core beliefs, sometimes they will make you pause and reconsider... either way, it is a good thing to do.

Maybe you are completely right and your Master is a wonderful fit for you...I honestly hope that he is. I also hope that this relationship with him acts as a sort of support and springboard for you to really experience all that life outside of "just surviving" can offer...and not just a limitation. Please give yourself enough room to grow wildly as you really should in the springtime of your life.

There is a Chinese proverb that I love that goes something like... "Patience is wisdom in waiting." It has helped me more times than I can count.

I wish you the very best.

When I grow up, I want to be able to say things as delicately, yet to the point, as you do.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

To the OP ~ When it comes to necessary resilience at such a tender age it is so easy to blur the lines between feeling the strength of newly reclaimed self confidence and actual maturity. Just because your life experiences are similar to those much older than you, it does not mean that you are actually as experienced as they are. Please know that I do not mean being immature as an insult in any way... innocence is precious and should be spent prudently especially when some of yours was obviously lost or taken.

I can't remember where I read it, but it supposedly takes 10,000 hours of repetition for the human to achieve mastery at any given skill... at 18, with much adversity you have faced you simply haven't had much time to just breathe and stretch in your own adult skin yet. Please be kind to and patient with you and allow yourself some time to get to know and love yourself too.

If you can find a way to just listen, really be open to the voices of experience here (and other mentors and friends in your life of course), yes, even if ( and really especially when) it challenges what you know to be "true"... you could benefit immensely and hopefully spare yourself a few unnecessary pains and enrich the many joys that are sure to come in life as well. Sometimes these opinions will simply reaffirm your core beliefs, sometimes they will make you pause and reconsider... either way, it is a good thing to do.

Maybe you are completely right and your Master is a wonderful fit for you...I honestly hope that he is. I also hope that this relationship with him acts as a sort of support and springboard for you to really experience all that life outside of "just surviving" can offer...and not just a limitation. Please give yourself enough room to grow wildly as you really should in the springtime of your life.

There is a Chinese proverb that I love that goes something like... "Patience is wisdom in waiting." It has helped me more times than I can count.

I wish you the very best.

When I grow up, I want to be able to say things as delicately, yet to the point, as you do.

Me, too. (If I ever *do* grow up!)

 

[subwannabe]

I worry about this relationship also. It's one thing for a mature woman with a clear mind and experience to want to be an owned sub but I worry about someone with this kind of a past having low self esteem and consciously or subconscioiusly thinking that they don't deserve any more out of life than to be owned by someone. You should want this kind of a lifestyle because that is really what you want, not because you feel that is what you deserve.

 

[CutieMouse]

I worry about this relationship also. It's one thing for a mature woman with a clear mind and experience to want to be an owned sub but I worry about someone with this kind of a past having low self esteem and consciously or subconscioiusly thinking that they don't deserve any more out of life than to be owned by someone. You should want this kind of a lifestyle because that is really what you want, not because you feel that is what you deserve.

My [gut reaction] concerns aren't even that specific.

I have an 18 year old, Senior in High School. I'm a firm believer in letting the kids find their own path, and have no problem with my children exploring alternative-style relationships, but I would be very hesitant and concerned about any of my children being an "owned slave" at this stage of their life*.

Hardships, life lessons, or not... Generally speaking, at the age of 18, your brain is still growing. You're still developing your core personality. Still in the process of finding independence [from childhood]. Could the influence of a "Master" be a good thing at this stage of life? Of course. But it's just as likely (if not more so) to be a crash and burn sort of thing...

The parent in me is sitting here wondering if this is an online arrangement, or face to face. Regardless, I would have grave concerns about my children (boys or girls) getting involved with someone significantly older than themselves, while still enrolled in High School. (I presume the Master in question is significantly older, given the assertion that he's very experienced/a well known speaker/etc.) I'd be even more concerned if they were jumping into a M/s situation.

Find a TNG group at the local munch. Attend conferences if you like. Ask questions. Find play partners. But identifying as a "new sub" in an "owned slave relationship"? Focus on graduation, and whatever college (or not) plans after. You have 60+ years to play with BDSM.

*OSG, et al, aside.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... Focus on graduation, and whatever college (or not) plans after. You have 60+ years to play with BDSM.

Oh, you're so <sigh> logical...