Tips for Describing Sex/Sex Scenes?

[madelinemasoch]

I am facing trouble with my current main project when it comes to describing the sex from a close point of view. It is not in the perspective of any of the characters having sex but rather in the perspective of the character watching them have sex. It still feels too distant, not close enough in terms of point of view, really being in that scene, putting the reader into that scene... I think I have my own problems with emotional blockages that keep me too far away from scenes like this, but I really want to make it closer and describe everything in detail so that the reader can see it in their head, too. I have the visuals but I think the feeling of being there is blocked off by negative voices in my head. That's pretty horrible, but I'm powering through the writing process anyway.

So, do you have any tips when it comes to describing bodies as they're having sex, characters as they're having sex? I would like to get better at this. How do you get the reader to see it too? How do you enchant the reader into existing in that space with the characters? How would you describe it in a close way from a point of view of an onlooker? Maybe we can turn this thread into a kind of exercise: describe two characters having sex from a close third person point of view of a third character.

For reference, the two women characters I'm trying to describe now are a BBW blonde woman with huge tits and a voluptuous and thick brunette woman with a big ass but not as fat as the first woman. They're both having sex with muscular black men with huge cocks.

 

[ElectricBlue]

So, do you have any tips when it comes to describing bodies as they're having sex, characters as they're having sex? I would like to get better at this. How do you get the reader to see it too? How do you enchant the reader into existing in that space with the characters? How would you describe it in a close way from a point of view of an onlooker? Maybe we can turn this thread into a kind of exercise: describe two characters having sex from a close third person point of view of a third character.

Don't describe them as bodies, describe them as people.

For reference, the two women characters I'm trying to describe now are a BBW blonde woman with huge tits and a voluptuous and thick brunette woman with a big ass but not as fat as the first woman. They're both having sex with muscular black men with huge cocks.

Seems to me that you're fetishising their size. That's fine, but it's not the way into emotion or intimacy, which is what might be needed here. You've said so yourself, you've got emotional blocks that are preventing you getting in close to someone else. Maybe less emphasis on their bodies, more on their minds? Might that work?

 

[madelinemasoch]

Don't describe them as bodies, describe them as people.

Seems to me that you're fetishising their size. That's fine, but it's not the way into emotion or intimacy, which is what might be needed here. You've said so yourself, you've got emotional blocks that are preventing you getting in close to someone else. Maybe less emphasis on their bodies, more on their minds? Might that work?

It might; I'm dealing with themes of togetherness and unity, after all, but even that part of this specific scene just feels off somehow... I'm not really sure how to do that correctly in this case.

 

[madelinemasoch]

Don't describe them as bodies, describe them as people.

Seems to me that you're fetishising their size. That's fine, but it's not the way into emotion or intimacy, which is what might be needed here. You've said so yourself, you've got emotional blocks that are preventing you getting in close to someone else. Maybe less emphasis on their bodies, more on their minds? Might that work?

I also think that the size and beauty of them is what makes the scene so intense, along with the dynamic of having the other character watching, so I can't just leave those physical descriptions out entirely... getting them right is part of the challenge here.

 

[AlinaX]

a BBW blonde woman with huge tits and a voluptuous and thick brunette woman with a big ass but not as fat as the first woman. They're both having sex with muscular black men with huge cocks

Ahh, Tanya's tits. To call them huge would be to do them a disservice. They were pendulous perfection, if I may dare to alliterate. They were not mine, but I could almost feel the weight of them, the heavy swing, the heavy handfuls of divine flesh in my hands as I squeezed them about that brutal cock, so gorgeously thick, so delightfully long. If I had Tanya's tits, I would delight in this too, enjoying every vigorous thrust, feeling that long glide and the rough impact of the bulbous head against my neck, spitting precum in promise of a far more vital ending.

 

[madelinemasoch]

Ahh, Tanya's tits. To call them huge would be to do them a disservice. They were pendulous perfection, if I may dare to alliterate. They were not mine, but I could almost feel the weight of them, the heavy swing, the heavy handfuls of divine flesh in my hands as I squeezed them about that brutal cock, so gorgeously thick, so delightfully long. If I had Tanya's tits, I would delight in this too, enjoying every vigorous thrust, feeling that long glide and the rough impact of the bulbous head against my neck, spitting precum in promise of a far more vital ending.

Pendulous was a word I hadn’t thought of, much less “pendulous perfection.” I might throw that in there.

I also like how you couched it in the experience of watching it, even if I don’t like the vicarious nature of the specific dynamic you described.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I think AlinaX has the right idea, you can't just describe what the character is seeing, it needs to convey how the observer feels about it, how he or she reacts to it.

 

[Djmac1031]

im assuming its a male character watching?

Either way I suppose, the idea is to get in the voyeurs head. What's getting them off while watching this scene unfold? What relationship does he / she have to the people they're watching? Do they know these people? or are they a stranger spying?

get inside their minds, figure out what's turning them on about it... or freaking them out... or both.

we've all written and resd endless paragraphs about people fucking, the physical aspects. But its the mental aspects that make a good scene interesting.

 

[madelinemasoch]

im assuming its a male character watching?

Either way I suppose, the idea is to get in the voyeurs head. What's getting them off while watching this scene unfold? What relationship does he / she have to the people they're watching? Do they know these people? or are they a stranger spying?

get inside their minds, figure out what's turning them on about it... or freaking them out... or both.

we've all written and resd endless paragraphs about people fucking, the physical aspects. But its the mental aspects that make a good scene interesting.

It’s actually a trans woman, and she’s caged, so she can’t literally jerk off to it, but at the same time it’s so intense for her that she feels she might bust.

They’re her Femdom mistresses getting fucked, her owners. It’s more than the domination but the sheer beauty of it that she enjoys, and the underlying point is that the mistresses enjoy it more with her watching, that she’s an integral part of that pleasure and it wouldn’t be the same without her.

 

[Djmac1031]

and the underlying point is that the mistresses enjoy it more with her watching, that she’s an integral part of that pleasure and it wouldn’t be the same without her.

There you go. That's it, right there. Focus on THAT. Not undulating bodies with Tab A in Slot B.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

It’s actually a trans woman, and she’s caged, so she can’t literally jerk off to it, but at the same time it’s so intense for her that she feels she might bust.

They’re her Femdom mistresses getting fucked, her owners. It’s more than the domination but the sheer beauty of it that she enjoys, and the underlying point is that the mistresses enjoy it more with her watching, that she’s an integral part of that pleasure and it wouldn’t be the same without her.

That's a lot to unpack.

 

[madelinemasoch]

That's a lot to unpack.

I know… it’s so rich with things it’s taking a lot to do.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

You're telling it from that character's perspective for a reason, so get us inside their head.

Don't just tell is what she's seeing, tell us what she's thinking, what she's feeling.

If you want to just describe what's happening, tell it in the third person omniscient. But if you want us in the headspace of one of the participants, you sacrifice the omniscient play-by-play in favor of a greater emotional connection to the people involved.

 

[ElectricBlue]

There you go. That's it, right there. Focus on THAT. Not undulating bodies with Tab A in Slot B.

Yes, agree this. It's the feeling and emotion that's central, not moving slabs of meat.

 

[madelinemasoch]

You're telling it from that character's perspective for a reason, so get us inside their head.

Don't just tell is what she's seeing, tell us what she's thinking, what she's feeling.

If you want to just describe what's happening, tell it in the third person omniscient. But if you want us in the headspace of one of the participants, you sacrifice the omniscient play-by-play in favor of a greater emotional connection to the people involved.

I think I'm trying to some extent to do both simultaneously. I don't want any kind of bifurcation to impede the quality of the work. I don't want to leave anything out. I think that's part of the pressure I'm experiencing with this one.

 

[SimonDoom]

You're telling it from that character's perspective for a reason, so get us inside their head.

Don't just tell is what she's seeing, tell us what she's thinking, what she's feeling.

If you want to just describe what's happening, tell it in the third person omniscient. But if you want us in the headspace of one of the participants, you sacrifice the omniscient play-by-play in favor of a greater emotional connection to the people involved.

Yes, I agree with this. Concentrate on the interaction of the feelings and thoughts of the characters, how each FEELS to the other.

It's OK to focus on anatomy, depending on the tone of the story. If you are writing with the express purpose of getting fetishy and appealing to the physical fetish of your readers, then it may be OK to get a little over the top. In another sort of story it may be inappropriate.

But remember, there's no one right tone. As the author you're free to pick the type of story you want to write.

 

[HordHolm]

On the physical side you can also include information from the other senses - what does this session sound like, what does it smell like? What does that cage feel like? The eyes are great, but they only give us a limited set of information.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

I think I'm trying to some extent to do both simultaneously. I don't want any kind of bifurcation to impede the quality of the work. I don't want to leave anything out. I think that's part of the pressure I'm experiencing with this one.

It's also totally OK to leave some of it up to the reader's imagination

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

There are a few things I tend to do before writing a sex scene like this.

First, I'll go try to find some kind of porn of it. I watch that, look at how the bodies mesh together, how the actors place themselves, what the camera zooms in on. For your scenario I think this will be especially helpful, because unless you one of those rare and lucky people, the chances of you watching two (or more) people having sex immediately in front of you is pretty low. Thus, most of us - and most of your readers - will be viewing this in their minds eye through the lens of a camera. So watching a scene can help you pick up the details to describe that you may be having a hard time with.

For me, writing interracial sex scenes gives you a variety of tools you may not have in other scenes where the partners are more similar. You've got differences in color, differences in hair style, differences in smell - all of these you can highlight to draw the reader in and make them feel more like they're there.

Sex is kinetic, so I always try to use a lot of motion verbs when I'm describing it - pushing, pulling, touching, rubbing, sliding, pounding, pistoning, etc. I don't know if pistoning is actually a word, but I use it a lot, lol.

Sound is also important - moans, groans, some dirty talk, the sounds of bodies together. Music, if there's any playing in the background. Beds and floors creaking, clothes ripping (hey, it happens) and the like all can add some flavor to draw an audience member in.

Sweat, hair, skin - there's a lot of things you can describe. Picking out a few individual things that the viewer may pick up on that aren't central to the sex can help bring you there.

And, as the others have mentioned, don't forget to describe the feelings the scene evokes in your POV character. Does it turn them on? Make them angry? Upset? Do they wish it was them getting fucked? All that can add to the depth.

 

[yowser]

To me, all of this depends on the nature of the viewing character, in this case a trans woman. If she is a 'thinker' type than an internal monologue, maybe with gaps to process what she is seeing (and feeling, bare knees on the floor, being cramped) other connections she might have had when so close (and so far away) from the intimacies of excited bodies in front of her. Is this a first? These types of things are often so vivid and the character may be grasping at the reality of it all, unable to compare it to other experiences, but maybe bringing up related events might provide a contrast in her head to further the story.

I would try to speed up the action, then slow it down, change pacings to leave room for perception and thought.

Her nature, and what you have developed for her as how she views and processes the world, will make the difference. Head diving is in order.

 

[StillStunned]

So, do you have any tips when it comes to describing bodies as they're having sex, characters as they're having sex? I would like to get better at this. How do you get the reader to see it too? How do you enchant the reader into existing in that space with the characters? How would you describe it in a close way from a point of view of an onlooker? Maybe we can turn this thread into a kind of exercise: describe two characters having sex from a close third person point of view of a third character.

Several of my voyeur stories deal with this exact situation:
Pas de Trois A woman spies on three dancers.
Full Moon on Old Jack's Hill A midnight wanderer stumbles upon a coven of witches.
Flesh for a Third Fantasy I watch my girlfriend get a massage.
Flesh 4 Fantasy Mel takes me to a nudist resort.

And it comes up in several other stories as well.

For the voyeur experience, I find that 1P POV works best. You can get into the thrill of watching, or the frustration of being unable to join in. There's a distance between the watcher (and the reader who's in their head) and what they're watching, and emphasising that distance enhances the experience. Stress how the watcher is on the outside, not involved in the sex, but still emotionally and physically affected. There's no interaction. It's dead space around the watcher. Their senses are heightened as they strain not to miss a thing, and they're acutely aware of the strain on their own body.

That works for me, and apparently for my E&V readers as well.

 

[countdowntolov3]

I also think that the size and beauty of them is what makes the scene so intense

I really want to make it closer and describe everything in detail so that the reader can see it in their head, too.

This is possibly a bit of "cheating", but I find a priming statement useful when you want to describe action but want the reader will interpret it in a certain way or with a particular tone. It informs the way the reader interprets the following action. To me, it's a way to occasionally tell without breaking the reader's feel that you're showing.

I don't think it's a good primary strategy. You really want the story and the context yo do the heavy lifting here. But I do it sometimes when I want to keep the action moving but am worried the reader might have lost the tone.

"Jack fucked my wife like I never could. He plunged into her, again and again. With each hilting she cried out, soft at first, but growing louder until I was sure the neighbors would hear."

"Jill had never looked so beautiful as she did impaled on Jack's cock. He plunged into her, again and again. With each hilting she cried out, soft at first, but growing louder until I was sure the neighbors would hear."