after i designed TWB's TootsieBeads (TM) last night.....i got to thinking....for folks on a tight budget that can't plunk down bucks for over-priced sex toys and aides......there are lots of simple alternatives right in your local grocery store.....
take for instance AstroGlide.....$10 a bottle at Wal-Mart......close to $20 at an adult sex shoppe....
vs.
we're talking $10 versus $2....
you simply crack a dozen eggs....carefully fishing the yucky yellow out...and waaalaaa.....a substance as close to a woman's natural secretions as you can get.....doctors even describe a woman's most fertile juice as "egg white consistency"....score, huh?.....all for under $2.....and you can use a handy dandy kitchen funnel to put in your old astroglide bottle....just so your lover won't know about your dismal financial straits......
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similar to the TootsieBeads (TM) design.....another thrify way to make a set of anal beads.....is to employ the use of the hard lil wonder nub of a berry.....the cranberry......you can prolly get 5-6 for under a $1.....while a snazzy set of store bought anal beads could run you $10-$20 plus shipping and handling.....add in overnight charge if you're the type that really gets an itch for a product and needs it the next day....
vs.
$20 versus $1
a lil string and a needle.....and you're on your way to an ass-popping, inexpensive anal experience!....do not ingest bacteria-laden cranberries after buttplay.....dispose of properly and get more cranberries for next time.....
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buttplugs are fun....nothing like having something stuck in your ass....stretching your sensitive anal ring......while you masturbate....consider rumaging through the turnip stand for a desirable shape...turnips come in all sorts of widths and taper lengths....great selection....plus that handy foilage on end makes removing it easy......and the rooty tip tickles.....
vs.
$20 versus $1
same do not ingest warning applies here....remember what lives in your butt....you don't want it in your tummy....though boiling the turnip might work......just don't eat it raw....fresh out of your butt....
====================================
plastic pussies are just downright expensive....have you surfed for one lately?.....my god....they range in price from $50 to $150......for really nice ones....
something you might try.....it's not a permanent solution....but one you can get many uses out of.....is a boneless ham......yep.....a big hunk of fleshy pork.....that is easily heated up in the microwave.....you can drill a hole in....the ham clings to and squeezes your penis just like an artificial one.....and the walls of the hole actually feel more like a real pussy....
vs.
$150 vs. $10
with a lil creative slicing with a sharp knife you can carve out realistic pussy lips and an anus.....stick to no-name brand hams....you're just looking for a hunk of pork.....not quality meat.....you might also grab a few generic douches to keep your artificial pussy clean.....and refrigerate in between fuckings......
cucumbers, squash and zucchini are obvious substitutes for the common dildo....a lil more hand action required if you want a vibe effect.....
see? with just a lil brain power you can save many on your sex toys and aides.....look around at the grocery store next time you're in there.....think sex.....and save yourself buttloads of money!
can you think of any?
take for instance AstroGlide.....$10 a bottle at Wal-Mart......close to $20 at an adult sex shoppe....
we're talking $10 versus $2....
you simply crack a dozen eggs....carefully fishing the yucky yellow out...and waaalaaa.....a substance as close to a woman's natural secretions as you can get.....doctors even describe a woman's most fertile juice as "egg white consistency"....score, huh?.....all for under $2.....and you can use a handy dandy kitchen funnel to put in your old astroglide bottle....just so your lover won't know about your dismal financial straits......
====================================
similar to the TootsieBeads (TM) design.....another thrify way to make a set of anal beads.....is to employ the use of the hard lil wonder nub of a berry.....the cranberry......you can prolly get 5-6 for under a $1.....while a snazzy set of store bought anal beads could run you $10-$20 plus shipping and handling.....add in overnight charge if you're the type that really gets an itch for a product and needs it the next day....
$20 versus $1
a lil string and a needle.....and you're on your way to an ass-popping, inexpensive anal experience!....do not ingest bacteria-laden cranberries after buttplay.....dispose of properly and get more cranberries for next time.....
====================================
buttplugs are fun....nothing like having something stuck in your ass....stretching your sensitive anal ring......while you masturbate....consider rumaging through the turnip stand for a desirable shape...turnips come in all sorts of widths and taper lengths....great selection....plus that handy foilage on end makes removing it easy......and the rooty tip tickles.....
$20 versus $1
same do not ingest warning applies here....remember what lives in your butt....you don't want it in your tummy....though boiling the turnip might work......just don't eat it raw....fresh out of your butt....
====================================
plastic pussies are just downright expensive....have you surfed for one lately?.....my god....they range in price from $50 to $150......for really nice ones....
something you might try.....it's not a permanent solution....but one you can get many uses out of.....is a boneless ham......yep.....a big hunk of fleshy pork.....that is easily heated up in the microwave.....you can drill a hole in....the ham clings to and squeezes your penis just like an artificial one.....and the walls of the hole actually feel more like a real pussy....
$150 vs. $10
with a lil creative slicing with a sharp knife you can carve out realistic pussy lips and an anus.....stick to no-name brand hams....you're just looking for a hunk of pork.....not quality meat.....you might also grab a few generic douches to keep your artificial pussy clean.....and refrigerate in between fuckings......
cucumbers, squash and zucchini are obvious substitutes for the common dildo....a lil more hand action required if you want a vibe effect.....
see? with just a lil brain power you can save many on your sex toys and aides.....look around at the grocery store next time you're in there.....think sex.....and save yourself buttloads of money!
can you think of any?
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