Threesomes

[charman]

Now to my questions: (to guys)
1. As a guy, would being in bed with your woman and another man make you feel gay? If a girlfriend had a threesome with you in another girl, would you think she was bi?

Not if there is no contact between guys. and 2 girls doesn't necessarily mean they are bi.

2. If a girlfriend/lover told you she wanted you and another man at the same time would feel inadequate and try to make up for it by trying extra hard to give her 'enough' sexually?

Would try to please her, make her feel better. Respect would be a big part of it.

 

[wonderful]

Answers to Charman

When my wife danced with another woman, kissed her and felt her breasts, and a bit more, it wasn't that she was bi, it was she just loved the moment.

When, another time, she said when a male friend was around and we'd had a good night: "I think the nicest thing that could happen now is for the two of you to take me to bed and make love to me" I felt inspired.

It didn't happen, the other bloke was reluctant, but I was ready to go and if the opportunity arose again, I would be just as ready. I wouldn't feel any need to perform any better or anything like that, just to give my wife what she wanted, which was a lot of love.

Hope that helps.

 

[OttawaMaleSlut]

You have to respect each other at the end of the day. I didn't read the entire forum, so forgive me for not knowing all the details.

If your totally ok with other women, and you like it, then thats fine. Especially if hes ok with it as well. But if hes not comfortable with other men, is it worth making a mess of your relationship over?

 

[kubricklynch]

Hey, I've had a threesome with my GF and another guy; I didn't feel gay at all cause we didn't do anything with each other, she just gave him head while I fucked her and it was kinda dark. The fact that they didn't actually fuck helped me not feel inadequate and I'm glad we did that first before trying anything else. I think it might have been kinda embarrassing for the guy though cause he came real quickly, all over her face too haha.

 

[ombligo1]

Just a passing thought.. would a second MF be less upsetting to him than just a additional M?

We brought another couple into our relationship for awhile and found it exciting and less threatening than just a third person.

 

[ww_crimson]

I didn't read all the replies but I'm just goin to go ahead and post my thoughts.

I've never been fortunate enough to have a threesome however an ex girlfriend of mine really wanted to have a threesome with my best friend (guy). I was completely down for the idea just because I was hoping that if she would do a threesome with a guy she'd eventually turn to a girl. My best friend didn't like the idea of it and just said he couldn't handle having sex with my girlfriend which reminded me why he's my best friend, but in the end I didn't really have a problem with it.

I would have never done anything with my friend but I would have had no problem tag teaming my girlfriend and having her giving one of us head while the other penetrated her.

 

[thirty]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. We are best friends and really love eachother. We also have amazing sex, and we have done almost everything there is to do to some extent. Weve called in sick to work and spent entire days in bed, weve roleplayed, and about six months ago he brought up the idea of having a threesome. I wasnt crazy about the idea but it seemed like something he really wanted, so of course I said yes. Weve done it a few (10ish) times since then. Every time its been another woman. Recently the thought popped into my head of having a threesome with him and another man. I asked him about it Friday and he was kind of shocked. He told me he wasnt into men (with a joking tone). Then he was quiet for a minute and asked me how much I wanted it. I said it wasnt that important, but would like to try a man next time. He told me he needed to think about it, and tell me what he thought when he was done.
Now a few side notes
*I asked him at dinner, alone at our place, not at a resteraunt, or when he was watching TV, or before bed
* That night we didnt have sex; just TV and then bed. Since then hes been wanting it a lot more often- 3 times a day most of the time- more on the weekend


Now to my questions: (to guys)
1. As a guy, would being in bed with your woman and another man make you feel gay? If a girlfriend had a threesome with you in another girl, would you think she was bi?
2. If a girlfriend/lover told you she wanted you and another man at the same time would feel inadequate and try to make up for it by trying extra hard to give her 'enough' sexually?

Also any opinions or imput from you guys would be great, especially if you have ever had a guy/ 1 girl threesome, or have asked or been asked to.

Thank you so much.​

It's a little weird that he disagreed your idea about having another boy instead of a girl to join you, it was unfair, I mean.

I can never in threesome things, I guess I can't "do" when the third person is around.

 

[kitsune_kun]

I don't think he feels gay, or inadequate, guys as a whole are just mroe open t the idea of being in bed with two other women, then with one woman and one man.... that's instictual as well, going back through teh ages all teh way back to cavemen, were guys would have more then one girl, and wouldn't let other guyus near.... So give him some time, adn possibly some gentle prodding, and he'll prolly come around.

 

[ltnsfr007]

I think they're GREAT

 

[juicywet21]

Well, I was browsing through the How To's and was kinda surprised to see this up here again after such a long time.
Anyhow, thanks to all the people that have posted your advice and opinions. No, we haven't had the MFM- and likely won't for at least quite a while- but we're still together and very happy.
Maybe this thread can be of use to people going through a similar situation though?
Thanks again, guys.
j.w.

 

[angelbliss]

Sorry there is a bit too much for me to read and go through atm. But me and my boyfriend decided to have a threesome once. It was me, him, and another guy. For some reason my boyfriend got very upset after and I don't know why? Though I did get the feeling that he was hurt by the way the other man seemed to be exciting me more.

 

[SweetErika]

Welcome.

Sorry there is a bit too much for me to read and go through atm. But me and my boyfriend decided to have a threesome once. It was me, him, and another guy. For some reason my boyfriend got very upset after and I don't know why? Though I did get the feeling that he was hurt by the way the other man seemed to be exciting me more.

This is why talking about the 'what ifs' beforehand and communication before, during and after are so vital. If people can't communicate when it's a difficult/emotional subject, getting into situations, like threesomes, where those are likely to occur is unwise.

Have you asked him about the reason(s) for his negative feelings, maybe now, when there's a little more detachment from the situation?

 

[silverwhisper]

angelbliss: IMX, the most likely explanation is he's experiencing jealous about the other guy.

ed

 

[indyswinger]

My GF and I have had several relationships with other couples and I actually enjoy tag teaming her and switching off from end to end. We have also had several FMF encounters and she and the other female thoroughly enjoyed each other while I watched and jacked off and then joined in when they were ready.

We have talked about the MMF or MFM (whichever) situation and I am certainly open to the idea. I've been in many swinging situations, nudist resorts, etc and am not homophobic in the least. She asked if I would consider playing with the other guy and I must admit it's a bit exciting to have her "direct" the scene. I told her that if it's something she wanted and that would make her happy I would try to fulfill her fantasy. She has watched 2 guys in action when she lived in SF and said it was a big turn on for her.

I'm not jumping on the idea but if it happens I would go along with her ..... she brought up a guy from one of the couples we swing with on occasion in a conversation recently but I am pretty sure he wouldn't go along with the idea. If he did, that would be easy to accomplish. I've watched him cum in her, on her and give her a facial so I'm comfortable around his cock. In fact, he was fucking her and I was 69ing his wife next to them. He shot his load in my GF's pussy and then she slid over and replaced his wife in the 69 ... I had her full pussy on my face.

 

[Hornyman69WithU]

Not Black & White

When it comes to more than two people having sex, there's a lot of grey area, even if all involved discuss everything you can think of beforehand.

I have a good deal of group sex experience--read some of my true stories here--and the thing is, things happen that you cannot anticipate because people can actually change during the sex, as a result of the experience.

For example, a guy may initially think another guy and he playing with his girlfriend/wife, who is all for it, would be fun. Then, something occurs during the threesome that changes his mind, like she's enjoying the other guy more, paying more attention to him, or his cock is bigger, or the guy can keep fucking without cumming long after boyfriend/hubby shot his load and is pretty much out of the action. He feels inadequate, resentful, might even want to stop their continued sex. Sometimes a person just does not know how s/he will feel until it happens.

And the opposite might occur, too. Guys, face it, in a threesome there IS going to be some incidental contact between the dudes. If not, then you're not having a threesome; you're having a take-turns-some in a very spacious room.

For example, you're in bed on bottom eating her pussy in a 69 while she sucks the New Dude standing on the floor at the other side of the bed. She's thoroughly enjoying your oral ministrations, close to cumming, and then he comes around to the your-head/her-ass side of the bed and plunges ball-deep in her pussy. Knowing she cums most intensely when she's got something inside her pussy at the same time her clit's being sucked, and momentarily distracted by her sucking your own cock, you continue your clitoral duty, only to realize that New Dude's testicles are rolling across your nose and forehead with each thrust.

It does not bother you like you thought it would have if asked the question over lunch. But this is not lunch. On the contrary, you're kind of liking the close proximity of his glistening dick sliding in and out of your screaming honey. She let's out a lusty comment or two about how great the two of you feel, and, of course, she's sucking your manhood ever so fine, so you even let your lips touch his shaft as you continue to lick-suck her nubbin. Next thing you know, goaded on by your sweetie, who herself never would have thought she'd be turned on by such a thing, you're sucking his cock.

My point is that group sex is always something of a gamble, even if everyone is communicating extremely well. The best approach is to first get yourself into a gray state of mind, foregoing tight strictures of gay versus straight, and just have a good time, developing contingencies for reaction should something occur during the experience that changes your mind.

 

[countrygent36]

When it comes to more than two people having sex, there's a lot of grey area, even if all involved discuss everything you can think of beforehand.

I have a good deal of group sex experience--read some of my true stories here--and the thing is, things happen that you cannot anticipate because people can actually change during the sex, as a result of the experience.

For example, a guy may initially think another guy and he playing with his girlfriend/wife, who is all for it, would be fun. Then, something occurs during the threesome that changes his mind, like she's enjoying the other guy more, paying more attention to him, or his cock is bigger, or the guy can keep fucking without cumming long after boyfriend/hubby shot his load and is pretty much out of the action. He feels inadequate, resentful, might even want to stop their continued sex. Sometimes a person just does not know how s/he will feel until it happens.

And the opposite might occur, too. Guys, face it, in a threesome there IS going to be some incidental contact between the dudes. If not, then you're not having a threesome; you're having a take-turns-some in a very spacious room.

For example, you're in bed on bottom eating her pussy in a 69 while she sucks the New Dude standing on the floor at the other side of the bed. She's thoroughly enjoying your oral ministrations, close to cumming, and then he comes around to the your-head/her-ass side of the bed and plunges ball-deep in her pussy. Knowing she cums most intensely when she's got something inside her pussy at the same time her clit's being sucked, and momentarily distracted by her sucking your own cock, you continue your clitoral duty, only to realize that New Dude's testicles are rolling across your nose and forehead with each thrust.

It does not bother you like you thought it would have if asked the question over lunch. But this is not lunch. On the contrary, you're kind of liking the close proximity of his glistening dick sliding in and out of your screaming honey. She let's out a lusty comment or two about how great the two of you feel, and, of course, she's sucking your manhood ever so fine, so you even let your lips touch his shaft as you continue to lick-suck her nubbin. Next thing you know, goaded on by your sweetie, who herself never would have thought she'd be turned on by such a thing, you're sucking his cock.

My point is that group sex is always something of a gamble, even if everyone is communicating extremely well. The best approach is to first get yourself into a gray state of mind, foregoing tight strictures of gay versus straight, and just have a good time, developing contingencies for reaction should something occur during the experience that changes your mind.

That was vary good. I found that discussing the actual feelings about the guy(s) being gay/bi helped alot. Lets face it, your absolutely right, uncontrollable things do and will happen.

I for one enjoy the scenerio that you described. And so did my gf at the time. In fact, she enjoyed it soo much, she actually squirted. That in itself was a bigger surprise to everyone. It caused us all to laugh hysterically at and with each other and the night ended well.

Communication is always the best way to go. I like to just go with the flow...............

 

[danno99]

Well, I was browsing through the How To's and was kinda surprised to see this up here again after such a long time.
Anyhow, thanks to all the people that have posted your advice and opinions. No, we haven't had the MFM- and likely won't for at least quite a while- but we're still together and very happy.
Maybe this thread can be of use to people going through a similar situation though?
Thanks again, guys.
j.w.

j.w......i hope i'm on your list of candidates...

 

[Explaura]

ok. I realize this is way after the fact but.. I would ask, what is his experience with gayness. Because I am a girl who does not consider herself even really bi, but in some ways the idea of being with a girl body does turn me on. I have read here about how some guys, while not attracted to men or the whole having sex/touching/kissing a guy thing.. are "cock curious" or kinda turned on by the idea of interacting w/ another penis..

Not saying thats what is going on.. Just if I was trying to put myself in the shoes you explained I would say that maybe he IS into it and the reason he was so lusty was because it made him horny. However, knowing and being comfortable with his straightness this might have been kindof disorienting for him. It might have brought up some other issues or concerns that he didn't want to get into.. Thus not bringing it back up. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, its a lot easier to just not address it deeply and honestly.. to yourself.

I personally think there is way too much emphasis put on what gayness "means". I figure a sensual experience can happen between people of any gender and even if it is doesn't turn you on specifically to be with that person or their genitals, there are other aspects in play too. I feel like I've been pressured on occasion to make a tiny corner of my sexuality into a main focus of my identity. It could be that this sort of pressure is keeping your guy from experimenting with something that could be quite fun.

 

[stairwaytokevin]

different point of view

. . .

 

[SweetErika]

I suspect this may be a very unpopular comment but I feel compelled to make it.

I truly believe in the "treat others as you would like to be treated" philosophy. However, I really think it only applies for the non-major poeple in my life, that is not my SO, not my immediate family, not my close friends. With those people I treat them they way THEY want to be treated, and they treat me they way I want to be treated. In the end, if things are not completely lopsided, then for us at least it works better. There are plenty of things I'd do for my SO that I would never ask in return and vice versa. With an SO, I don't see all double standards as negative things. Even with close friends. One friend of mine doesn't like us to joke around calling him a moron or a dumbass. Maybe he's sensitive about that so we don't do, even though we'd be okay being called that in fun. On the other hand he might be okay with other jokes that I am not. We respect each others wishes.

That bold part is the crux of it. "Treat people..." isn't EXACT in my mind, it's simply a philosophy that speaks to basic principles. For example, I want respect, honesty and open communication, so I'm respectful, honest, and communicate openly. You and your wife want people to stay away from touchy subjects, so you stay away from the ones they deem touchy. I don't really want the majority of the popcorn that Hubby and I are sharing right now even though I'm hungry, but I would want him to give me the last piece of cake, so I'm making sure he gets more than his fair share (i.e. I want him to be generous and thoughtful, so I'm the same way with him).

The reason we tend to use the 'turned tables' argument here is a lot of actions are selfish, instead of giving or mutual. It's pretty unfair for my husband to expect his fantasies to be fulfilled if he's not willing to fulfill some of mine. If his is a FMF, he should consider the possibility of me wanting a MFM. If I'm willing to entertain his fantasies, but he's not willing to explore mine, we're going to have an unbalanced situation and a real problem because in part our relationship is based on a sense of fairness/equality.

As for the OP, it sounds like her MFM fantasy kind of just popped up (lord knows things I find utterly uninteresting become complete fascinations sometimes). She gave him the FMFs out of generosity, and hopefully he'd seriously entertain her MFM idea on the same principle. If not, he's likely not worth keeping around because he's showing it's one-sided, not a mutual relationship.

 

[yorker85]

My wife and I have discussed threesomes. It would turn me on to see her so "in the moment". That is the allure. The next day I think would be weird, knowing she was thinking about another guy. She has said the same thing about adding a female to our bed. That's something you would have to consider. I'm sure your boyfriend is.

 

[stairwaytokevin]

. . .