Three jokes...

[p_p_man]

Note: The attractive young woman was about to go to bed with her blind date when she burst into tears. "I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea about me," she said between sobs. "I'm really not that kind of girl!" "I believe ya," her date said, as he tried to comfort her. "You're the first one," she gulped. "The first one to make love to you?" he asked. "No!" she replied. "The first one to believe me."

Second note: The barmaid had a reputation for being a snobbish little tease. The guys kept flirting with her, but she kept up the cold fa ade. Finally she agreed to a deal with Ralph: "OK. I'll do it. But there are two conditions. First, it'll cost you five hundred bucks. But second, it will be free if I hear bells ringing and see lights flashing during the act. The bartender can hold the money." At closing time the next evening, Ralph and four of his friends each handed the bartender a crisp hundred dollar bill, and then they gang-banged her on the pinball machine.

Third note: A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form that he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"



ppman

 

[Pamela]

*chuckle*

 

[DevilSpawn]

Heh heh. Those were good.

 

[HeavyStick]

Here's three funnier jokes:

1. Redwave
2. donkeydick
3. ppmanlushchild

 

[babydoll_73]

Thumbs up

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for a weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip air ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, offering his credit card numbers, his driver's license number and his address but to no avail.

The cabbie said, 'if you don't have $15, get the hell out of my cab.'

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab back to the airport.

Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line.
'How much for a ride to the airport?' he asked.

'Fifteen bucks,' came the reply.

'And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?'

'What? Get the hell out of my cab you arsehole!'

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked,
'How much for a ride to the airport?'

The cabbie replied, 'Fifteen bucks.'

The businessman said 'OK' and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs-up sign to each driver.

 

[p_p_man]

Thumbs up

Definitely goes on my joke list!



ppman

 

[babydoll_73]

I have a shit load more and if I have time I will post some of them but I will for sure post some now and again here. Glad you liked it

 

[p_p_man]

A young man runs into a bar and...

says, "Quick give me 6 double brandies. I've just had my first blow job."

The barman replied, "Congratulations. Have 7, the last one's on the house."

"No thanks," said the young man, "if I can't get the taste out of my mouth after 6, then 7 won't help!"



ppman

 

[HeavyStick]

Re: A young man runs into a bar and...

says, "Quick give me 6 double brandies. I've just had my first blow job."

The barman replied, "Congratulations. Have 7, the last one's on the house."

"No thanks," said the young man, "if I can't get the taste out of my mouth after 6, then 7 won't help!"



ppman

This isn't so much a joke, but PP man coming out.

 

[Pamela]

A little old lady goes into a grocery store and asks the clerk for 12 cans of dog food. The clerk replies "I can't sell you that! Some seniors actually eat that for food, and I won't let you do that to yourself. You go home and bring your dog back here to show me you actually have a dog. Then I'll let you have the dog food." So, the little old lady walks all the way home, gets her dog and takes it back to the store. The clerk gives her the dog food and she goes on her merry way.

A couple days later the little old lady is back at the store. This time asking for 12 cans of cat food. The clerk says "I won't give you the cat food, for the same reason I wouldn't give you the dog food! Go home, and bring back your cat. Then I'll let you have the cat food!" So off she goes again, returns to the store with her cat. He gives her the cat food and she goes on her merry way.

A few more days later the little old lady returns. This time carrying a box with a hole in the top. She asks the clerk to stick his finger in the hole. "I'm not going to stick my finger in there! There could be a snake or something else in there that could bite me!" he says. The little old lady replies "I promise, there is nothing in there that will hurt you. Please, stick your finger in the hole". So, he sticks his finger in the hole and feels around. He says "This feels like shit!!" She replies "It is! Can I have some toilet paper?!?"

 

[crappie master]

Good one Pamela

 

[p_p_man]

On a remote farm in outback Australia...

the phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi blue, I'm your neighbour Ned. I live about 400 miles down the road."

"Hi Ned, what do you want?"

"Nothing much. I'm having a party this Staurday do you want to come?"

"Sure what do you reckon it'll be like?"

"Great! Plenty of booze, a few fights and lots of sex..."

"Sound great. Who's gonna be there?"

"Just us two!"

ppman

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

LOL

 

[REDWAVE]

"Daddy, Daddy, what's a pervert?"

The reply:

"Shut up and keep sucking!"

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Haiku:

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that