Three golden rules for sex.

[cactiphile]

I'm fed up of the over expectations that hollywood and
TV try to make of peoples sex lives, thats sex is always
great, that it works first time etc rather than being something you
have to practise at and learn.

If you were to give three rules of how to have a satisfying sex
life what would then be?

I would advise:

1) Communication, communication and more communication

2) It can't be perfect everytime. Enjoy the times its great and
forget about, don't worry, feel guilty etc about the times it doesnt work out right.

3) Practice makes perfect!

Any other ideas?

c.

 

[BennyBoobs]

Have Fun?

 

[Guest]

all I ask of my partner is that they are clean, discreet and
willing to try new things

as for sex itself, you have to tell the person what you like/dont like. Dont be afraid to tell your partner about your fantasies, be totally open and go into detail.
I know from experience that if something turns a woman on, it most likely will turn me on.
Also, dont be afraid to spice things up by going shopping at an adult store, inviting another person into the mix or trying new positions.

 

[ReadyOne]

1. Keep moving.

No, I don't mean pumping away. I mean that you should take initiative when nothing seems to be happening. If something isn't working, change to something else. Don't wear out the current position or get a body too sore.


2. Get your partner talking as you go. Get the feedback channel open. And don't close yours.

A lover may be self conscious about talking, so encourage them. "We don't need to be quiet; your parents aren't upstairs/kids are gone/etc." "Make some noise when I hit the right places. Let me know how much you like it." "Show me how much you're enjoying this. Let me hear how good your feeling." "Let go and purr for me. Let me know how much you like this." "Talk to me. Tell me what I'm doing to you. Tell me what you want me to do."


3. Tell your lover what you want. Tell them what they should do.

"I'm going to slide under sot I can lick in all the right places." "Add another finger; fill me up." "Up on you knees so I can ..." "I'll beg you when I'm ready for you to ..."


4. Do a "dry run" for new or complicated things.

When I want to try a new (unusual) position, I often talk about it and sometimes arrange us into it before the heat of arousal so we can get familiar and comment on it.

If complicated means a scene, negotiate it first. Get some guidelines and limits and plan the general scenario.


5. Use pillow talk for fantasies and feedback.

Coax them out. Promise that anything/everything is OK, no limits to imagination. Encourage "wrong" or "perverted" ideas, such as imagining some else in place of your partner, or rover's tongue. Don't hold back if you're not sure it might offend or not; assume the benefit of the doubt.

Guarantee that their ideas will never be shared or thrown back at them, even in the heat of argument. Pillow talk is private; don't kiss and tell. Explain that most fantasies are never meant to be made real, and that even realizable ones won't happen without full agreement.

Have fun developing them. When a partner says something is happening in a fantasy, feed back an embroidered description. Work up details, contribute ideas and variations, and turn them into a story.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

it's okay to laugh at something funny, and talking is quite all right too

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Relax - what' the worse that can happen?
Enjoy yourselves!
Be open minded - Don't be afraid to try new things!

 

[SexyChele]

1. Communication - what feels good, what doesn't. Fantasies. "What Ifs". Anything. Everything.

2. Be clean - nothing worse than a man wanting a blowjob when he gets home from his construction job, and the temps have been in the 90s. BLEAH! Goes for women as well! Take care of your bodies for your partner's sake!

3. Be open and maintain a spirit of adventure - not everything will do "it" for everyone, but it can be fun trying it. And part of a spirit of adventure is being able to see the humor in the situation that is not working out and laugh about it.

Love what you do and you will enjoy it no matter what.

And forget Hollywood/TV. If I had a director, make up artist, hair stylist, wardrobe mistress, script reader, etc, I'd have perfect sex scenes, too. Movies/TV are all about smoke and mirrors. Real life is real - and much more fun!

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

BUMP

It appears that everyone has covered the Must Do's. It certainly makes sex better if these guidlines are followed.


-kym- Let's talk about sex Baby!

 

[watergirl]

No Lies,
No Diseases,
No Babies,
No Hurt Feelings.

Following the first three is a great way to strive for #4.

Stolen from Dan Savage (has a column, Savage Love, in the DC City Paper, and probably elsewhere besides. funny as hell)

 

[DuckLover]

I can't disagree with anything mentioned so far!

I would add two items, however:

1) Lube, Lube, LUBE!

No matter what you are doing, you cannot have too much!

2) Progress slowly (while keeping the communication open, as mentioned above)

This point applies both to advancing the physical side of the relationship (kissing-groping-oral-sex-kink-???) and to individual acts. Kissing is often better when slower. Nearly every sex act is better (at least at first) when done slowly. And love-making (as opposed to fucking) is usually better when it is slow and intimate.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

No Lies,
No Diseases,
No Babies,
No Hurt Feelings.

Following the first three is a great way to strive for #4.

Stolen from Dan Savage (has a column, Savage Love, in the DC City Paper, and probably elsewhere besides. funny as hell)

What about dogs?

 

[hogjack]

My three rules

Three key rules:

1.) Always pay at least 50% of the final agreed upon bill first

2.) Keep Mr. Naughty Sock Puppet to yourself until you know the person very well with whom you are engaging in intimate acts

3.) Remember to double- or even triple-check verifying that your very elderly mother laying in the twin bed next to your bed is sound asleep and took all her medication --- or she will surely wake up at an inopportune moment

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Mr. Naughty Sex Puppet! lol