Thoughts without italic

[Britva415]

I like the second and the third ones because they differentiate inner dialogue and external dialogue

If the words themselves don't make this clear, don't depend on typography to do it for you. Fix the words.

should I write an explanation at the start of the game to make this special use of quotation clear?

No, and you shouldn't bastardize typography to serve your nonstandard purpose in the first place, explanatory note or not.

Let me put it to you this way:

Do you read?

Have you read stuff which contains both spoken-out-loud quotes as well as internal-monolog "speech?"

How did they do it? None of them did it this way, did they.

And many of them do it without italics. So, with italics unavailable, your first option is the only option.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I use context to designate thoughts, and these days, don't designate them in any other way than what is being thought, plain text. If your writing is clear, you won't cause confusion.

 

[NotWise]

To give the inner voice the same force as if they were speaking aloud, particularly at key moments.

I was late for my interview. Hurrying around the corner, I collided with Mrs Fischer and her two terriers, sending us all flying in a tangle of arms, legs, dogs and their leads. While I lay on the sidewalk groaning, one of the dogs wandered over to sniff me, and then cocked its leg over me as if to express its contempt for the situation. Mrs Fischer was not making a sound, and I couldn’t see what had happened to the other dog.

“Well, at least the day can only improve,” I thought.

But it didn’t.

Style choice. I'd have the character say that aloud--maybe even talking to the dog.

 

[Inkognito1]

I’ve also seen some people use double slashes for internal thoughts:

//Like this

Out of your three options, though, I’d go with the guillemets. But I wouldn’t follow them with "he thought." I’d rely on narrative context beforehand so that by the time the reader hits the guillemets, they already know they’re seeing someone else’s thoughts.

 

[Writer61]

To give the inner voice the same force as if they were speaking aloud, particularly at key moments.

I was late for my interview. Hurrying around the corner, I collided with Mrs Fischer and her two terriers, sending us all flying in a tangle of arms, legs, dogs and their leads. While I lay on the sidewalk groaning, one of the dogs wandered over to sniff me, and then cocked its leg over me as if to express its contempt for the situation. Mrs Fischer was not making a sound, and I couldn’t see what had happened to the other dog.

“Well, at least the day can only improve,” I thought.

But it didn’t.

Are you using italics to indicate the entire text as an example? If not, that grates with me.

I was late for my interview. Hurrying around the corner, I collided with Mrs Fischer and her two terriers, sending us all flying in a tangle of arms, legs, dogs and their leads. While I lay on the sidewalk groaning, one of the dogs wandered over to sniff me, and then cocked its leg over me as if to express its contempt for the situation. Mrs Fischer was not making a sound, and I couldn’t see what had happened to the other dog.

“Well, at least the day can only improve,” I thought.

But it didn’t.

Reads better, and the 'I thought' makes it clear without any format jiggery pokery.

 

[IWroteThis]

I've used 'single marks' for internal thoughts, but I've also seen {these things, not sure what they're called} used.

Those are curly brackets or braces (or curly braces). I don't do it much, but I like using those for thoughts and telepathic communication. I use the square brackets for text messages.

 

[caleb35]

Hey, I'm writing a kind of first-person story where writing thoughts is quite important because the main character is psychic. The problem is that, as I'm writing a story game, italics are not an option. The options I found on the internet are normal quotation marks with the appropriate tag:
"Oh, he's really cute," she thought.
And the other one is using the simple marks:
'Oh, he's really cute,' she thought.
I also thought that I could use guillemets:
<<Oh, he's really cute,>> she thought.
In your opinion, which is best? I like the second and the third ones because they differentiate inner dialogue and external dialogue, but I don't know. In case of using the second or third type, should I write an explanation at the start of the game to make this special use of quotation clear?

Do I want to weigh in on this? Lots of people have already replied and commented. Can I contribute anything worthwhile? Do I really need the attention? Am I that lonely and/or insecure that I need to seek validation by jumping into a thread/discussion that doesn't require my input? What am I doing with my life??? But I should say something, though, want to be sure to be counted as one of the community.

Uh... I don't know... good question though.

Oh, yeah, that's it, bravo, good contribution, great job [slow mental clap]

 

[M_K_Babalon]

I uae the first example you gave, but I don't really write in first person. If it's an actual video game, I think I've seen parenthises and <these> used in dialog portions in some RPGs, like Tales Of Vesperia or Wild Arms. I would find footage of 2d RPGs or Sim(date sim, etc) games, to see how they do it. I don't think I've ever seen a game use italics.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

Apparently the AH isn't as «helpful» as they should be. But what do I know?!

«Meow!»

 

[Actingup]

Are you using italics to indicate the entire text as an example? If not, that grates with me.

Reads better, and the 'I thought' makes it clear without any format jiggery pokery.

The italics were to distinguish between my comment and the example. My sincere apologies for making your day gratier.

I usually use italics to indicate inner voice, with or without the tags (example below), but that's precluded by the nature of the thread.

-------

I took an egg roll off a tray that was offered to me. The server was beautiful, long-haired, and had strongly defined, shapely eyes, although I thought I saw some sadness in them. She was also wearing an áo dài, like her other colleagues working the crowd. Red, of course, with gold highlights. The only obvious difference to my outfit was that, where my sharp heels were starting to sink into the lawn and fix me helplessly in place, she was wearing more traditional and practical flats.

Well, fuck me, I've come dressed as the hired help. But with hooker footwear.

 

[Katie_Mae]

Hey, I'm writing a kind of first-person story where writing thoughts is quite important because the main character is psychic. The problem is that, as I'm writing a story game, italics are not an option. The options I found on the internet are normal quotation marks with the appropriate tag:
"Oh, he's really cute," she thought.
And the other one is using the simple marks:
'Oh, he's really cute,' she thought.
I also thought that I could use guillemets:
<<Oh, he's really cute,>> she thought.
In your opinion, which is best? I like the second and the third ones because they differentiate inner dialogue and external dialogue, but I don't know. In case of using the second or third type, should I write an explanation at the start of the game to make this special use of quotation clear?

This is for denoting others' thoughts, yes? Eg as the MC is reading someone's mind, not for their own internal thoughts (which can be written direct without thought tags.)

Assuming that, I think it does depend a little on if the mind-reading is common and known or secret.
if mind reading is the normal method of communication, and there's no big need for the reader to pick up on mind reading vs speech, you could go with regular quotation marks and the appropriate tag.

If it's important that it's clear this is mind reading vs speech, then I'd use an alternative mark for the thoughts of other characters, I don't think it matters much which, as long as you're consistent and it doesn't get mistaken for html coding. I've used a hyphen before.

 

[alohadave]

Guillemets are more common in Spanish (technically the correct way to quote), but I didn't know if it would be confusing in English. For that I was thinking of making a little explanation at the start of the story

I know they use them in France as quotation marks. Hadn't heard that Spanish uses them too.

 

[nice90sguy]

Definitely go with square brackets for a story game (or parentheses, unless you're going to be using them frequently for, well, parenthetical statements).

Why am I so sure? Because of the number of VN Ren'Py games I've played that use them (square branckets or parentheses).
I'd advise against guillemets because they're speech marks in a lot of languages (not "think-marks")

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm confused.

You say you are writing a "kind of first-person story," but your example is in third person. In first person the story is narrated by "I."

In first person, you don't need internal dialogue, because everything the narrator writes is internal dialogue. The whole narrative is from the narrator's point of view.

Example:

I entered the house. It was dark and musty, and it scared the heck out of me. I worried about what was around the corner.

In third person you could write:

He entered the house. It was dark and musty, and it scared the heck out of him. He worried about what was around the corner.

No internal dialogue, quotes, italics, or anything else is needed.

Compare this:

He entered the house. It was dark and musty. "I'm scared," he thought. "I wonder what is around the corner."

Just get rid of the dialogue and separated internal thoughts and weave them into the narrative.

 

[Katie_Mae]

I'm confused.

You say you are writing a "kind of first-person story," but your example is in third person. In first person the story is narrated by "I."

In first person, you don't need internal dialogue, because everything the narrator writes is internal dialogue. The whole narrative is from the narrator's point of view.

Example:

I entered the house. It was dark and musty, and it scared the heck out of me. I worried about what was around the corner.

In third person you could write:

He entered the house. It was dark and musty, and it scared the heck out of him. He worried about what was around the corner.

No internal dialogue, quotes, italics, or anything else is needed.

Compare this:

He entered the house. It was dark and musty. "I'm scared," he thought. "I wonder what is around the corner."

Just get rid of the dialogue and separated internal thoughts and weave them into the narrative.

They're reading someone else's thoughts.

 

[Katie_Mae]

They're reading someone else's thoughts.

To clarify what I mean by this, is the quotations in the first post are not the narrator's thoughts. Let's expand on the example the OP gave us to understand how their story could be in first person.

I sat down in my assigned desk and waited. A young woman entered, and after a moment of looking, she sat in the desk next to me. She was cute, but did she think I was too? I dopped my pencil. She looked over and I reached into her mind.

"Oh, he's really cute," she thought.

or, possibly they intend something like this.

"Oh, he's really cute," she thought.

"Which one?" I think.

"That one in the red shirt."

"Him? Cute?"

In both cases, weaving the thoughts of the non-narrator into the narration could be done, eg

I sat down in my assigned desk and waited. A young woman entered, and after a moment of looking, she sat in the desk next to me. She's cute, but did she think I was too? I dopped my pencil. She looked over and I reached into her mind and due to my psychic abilities understood that she though I was not just cute, but really cute. Nice!

But the 'she thought' in the first two examples don't necessarily denote third person in this instance.

 

[NotWise]

He can read other people's thoughts.

The whole idea of your character reading someone's else's thoughts then quoting them in their first person narrative seems like a difficult story-telling problem. I can think of ways I might tackle it without depending on invented typographic standards, but to each their own.

 

[YmaOHyd]

Mercedes Lackey frequently has characters doing telepathic communications or reading minds. Her standard communication for telepathy is colon-italic text-colon, with said-style verbs:

:Go easy, little bird,: he said. :I think he's had just about enough.:

When it's mindreading, she almost never uses direct dialogue style. She'll say something like "he reached out, touching her mind" then describe either the emotional texture or the images in them, then have the character doing the reading draw conclusions in their own voice.

In my own writing in first-person, I haven't done any mind-reading stuff and don't have any plans to. Just on the subject of use of italics for internal thoughts in the first person, I use it specifically for thoughts that are formulated as deliberate internal speech. Most things people experience -- at least, most things I experience -- are experienced sorta unconsciously. I am aware of the sound of my keyboard but not thinking actively about it. So I'll use italics to set off internal monologue that is formatted in the character's head as speech:

"Glad you could finally join us," Rob said.

"Happy to be here, sir," I replied. Go to hell, Rob.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

One of the early uses of thought as a major facet of the plot was in Edward Smith's 1950 story 'First Lensman'. Smith uses context to infer that the dialogue is exchanged by thought transfer or joining of minds.

Here's an early passage from within the first few pages of the novel to illustrate his approach. Note: The original source material is preserved in digital form only in American.

"My visualization is not entirely clear concerning the succession of events stemming from the fact that the fusion of which Drounli is a part did not destroy Gharlane of Eddore while he was energizing Gray Roger," a young Watchman, Eukonidor by symbol, thought into the assembled mind. "May I take a moment of this idle time in which to spread my visualization, for enlargement and instruction?"

"You may, youth." The Elders of Arisia—the mightiest intellects of that tremendously powerful race—fused their several minds into one mind and gave approval. "That will be time well spent. Think on."

"Separated from the other Eddorians by inter-galactic distance as he then was, Gharlane could have been isolated and could have been destroyed," the youth pointed out, as he somewhat diffidently spread his visualization in the public mind. "Since it is axiomatic that his destruction would have weakened Eddore somewhat and to that extent would have helped us, it is evident that some greater advantage will accrue from allowing him to live. Some points are clear enough: that Gharlane and his fellows will believe that the Arisian fusion could not kill him, since it did not; that the Eddorians, contemptuous of our powers and thinking us vastly their inferiors, will not be driven to develop such things as atomic-energy-powered mechanical screens against third-level thought until such a time as it will be too late for even those devices to save their race from extinction; that they will, in all probability, never even suspect that the Galactic Patrol which is so soon to come into being will in fact be the prime operator in that extinction. It is not clear, however, in view of the above facts, why it has now become necessary for us to slay one Eddorian upon Eddore. Nor can I formulate or visualize with any clarity the techniques to be employed in the final wiping out of the race; I lack certain fundamental data concerning events which occurred and conditions which obtained many, many cycles before my birth. I am unable to believe that my perception and memory could have been so imperfect—can it be that none of that basic data is, or ever has been available?"

"That, youth, is the fact. While your visualization of the future is of course not as detailed nor as accurate as it will be after more cycles of labor, your background of knowledge is as complete as that of any other of our number."

"I see." Eukonidor gave the mental equivalent of a nod of complete understanding. "It is necessary, and the death of a lesser Eddorian—a Watchman—will be sufficient. Nor will it be either surprising or alarming to Eddore's Innermost Circle that the integrated total mind of Arisia should be able to kill such a relatively feeble entity. I see."

 

[StillStunned]

Question for all you other writers who use italics for thoughts or inner dialogue: do you find yourself leaning to the right when you're thinking, or is it just me?

 

[NotWise]

Question for all you other writers who use italics for thoughts or inner dialogue: do you find yourself leaning to the right when you're thinking, or is it just me?

I only find myself leaning to the right for emphasis.

 

[StillStunned]

I only find myself leaning to the right for emphasis.

I puff out my cheeks and clench my fists for that.

 

[YmaOHyd]

I write at a standing desk.

 

[StillStunned]

I write at a standing desk.

Do you at least bob your head right or left when you type an acute or grave accent?

 

[StillStunned]

A bit ago someone here mentioned Victor Borge's bit about phonetic punctuation. I bet we could come up with a whole set of punctuation for body language. Shake your foot for a cedilla, for instance, or shake your arse for an ellipsis.

Actually, you could probably put the whole thing together from Fresh Prince moves.