Thoughts on the Cuck Fantasy

[Carnal_Flower]

Any insights?

Why do so many men (husbands) fantasize about their wives cheating on them. I'm clueless.

I'm not talking ones where she ends up punished but the ones where it's truly a fetish. Fantasies of being tied up/helpless and forced to watch while the neighbor/best friend/school coach fucks them. Getting off on the betrayal and/or humiliation. The other guy is usually hotter, bigger, better in some way.

Do women have any comparable fantasy? I'd venture to guess watching hubs/bf fuck another woman with abandon is a nightmare, not a fantasy, for most. (Just a guess).

No judgment, just genuine curiosity.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Its cheaper than taking the wife out to eat or to the movies.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Do us all a favor and take that stupid gun off your avatar.


QUOTE=NOIRTRASH;71421548]Its cheaper than taking the wife out to eat or to the movies.[/QUOTE]

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Fuck you, cupcake.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

To the OP's question - I have no clue. If it wasn't a thing on the web, I would have assumed it didn't exist.

I'm going to guess it stems from some kind of weird submissive insecurity - I can't please her, maybe she'd be happy if someone else did. Or maybe conversely it's a power thing - I can make her do anything I want, including sleep with other guys while I slap her face. I could perhaps understand the latter but it's not traditional cuck material.

Since this isn't my area, I'll ask - it is more common a fantasy among women or men?

...yeah, I don't get it. Deep down, sex is about reproduction, how matter how much we dance around that in stories. Having someone else get your mate pregnant and having you care for that offspring... I mean I can see it from an evolutionary standpoint (a weak male is of no use to evolution genetically, but he can serve some role providing for the upkeep of a stronger male's offspring, and so still be useful), but I can't make it work in my head on an emotional level. Are some guys so insecure about their value that all they can offer is caregiver to a stronger man's genetic agenda?

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Any insights?

Why do so many men (husbands) fantasize about their wives cheating on them. I'm clueless.

I'm not talking ones where she ends up punished but the ones where it's truly a fetish. Fantasies of being tied up/helpless and forced to watch while the neighbor/best friend/school coach fucks them. Getting off on the betrayal and/or humiliation. The other guy is usually hotter, bigger, better in some way.

Do women have any comparable fantasy? I'd venture to guess watching hubs/bf fuck another woman with abandon is a nightmare, not a fantasy, for most. (Just a guess).

No judgment, just genuine curiosity.

I doubt you'll find a pat answer if that's what you seek. I hope others who share that kink will weigh in with their reasons. Meanwhile, here are some of mine:

I love women who have fully embraced their sexuality. I once had a friend who firmly believed men were better suited for extramarital affairs than women because (and this was HIS reason, not mine): Men naturally understand sex for sex sake. Men can chase pussy just for the sport of it without their emotions getting in the way.

Personally, I don't agree with him, but I've heard similar sentiments expressed by many other men.

Making this more personal, within my marriage, I have never feared my wife having sex with another man. There's a thrill seeing it happen, even without a humiliation factor. I love my wife, so why wouldn't I enjoy seeing her having fun? I don't care for roller coasters that turn you upside down, but I don't resent my wife for wanting to ride one. I don't drink cream in my coffee. I think creamers, especially flavored creamers, ruin coffee. But I still buy creamers for wife.

There is another element that I think often applies - IF your wife can enjoy a massive dick, wrangled by an expert cocksman, who is better looking than you. . . and she still comes home to live with you, that MUST be love.

Yeah, twisted, isn't it?

As for women having a similar fantasy - I'm the wrong gender to answer that question. I share your suspicions that it's rare enough to be considered non-existent.

 

[Gorza]

Any insights?

Why do so many men (husbands) fantasize about their wives cheating on them. I'm clueless.

Yeah, I find this weird too. On Lit, cuckoldry and incest are big business -- WTF!

I'm not talking ones where she ends up punished but the ones where it's truly a fetish. Fantasies of being tied up/helpless and forced to watch while the neighbor/best friend/school coach fucks them. Getting off on the betrayal and/or humiliation. The other guy is usually hotter, bigger, better in some way.

It is partly a deconstruction of male sexuality that is masterful and active. It can be too much, and that's where performance anxiety comes in. The Male Gaze is a powerful thing: men like to watch women. Stripping and porn are all about the male gaze. It's not hard to see how some men find themselves more satisfied to be a voyeur than to be the sexual protagonist.

Do women have any comparable fantasy? I'd venture to guess watching hubs/bf fuck another woman with abandon is a nightmare, not a fantasy, for most. (Just a guess).

No judgment, just genuine curiosity.

The operative word is 'fantasy' of course. One might never want one's wife/husband to be unfaithful, but that doesn't stop one fantasizing over it. Yeah, some women have the "I want to see what you like with another woman" fantasy. Its fairly similar, but the female gaze often functions differently.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I was cute in my youth and invited home, occasionally, to meet wifey. One guy came to my job to talk about servicing wifey while he was working in Alaska. I think plenty of men have low libidos, and welcome a little help that's more luv than love.

 

[sr71plt]

To the OP's question - I have no clue. If it wasn't a thing on the web, I would have assumed it didn't exist.

Yeah, I keep thinking that it's a fantasy of like, five old guys, all dumped and divorced, who have promoted it here at Lit. and blown it into big business--just here at Lit.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I dont find it "weird" just in the dark about the turn on...all very illuminating responses, thank you!

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Well I run into it quite a bit in real life

Yeah, I keep thinking that it's a fantasy of like, five old guys, all dumped and divorced, who have promoted it here at Lit. and blown it into big business--just here at Lit.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

Well I run into it quite a bit in real life

...?

I've never met a person in the real world who'd admit to wanting it. Ok, sure, there's social stigma involved in admitting it maybe, but I've had my share of candid conversations about sex and no one has ever spoken positively about having someone else do their wife while they watched.

Are you in the US?

 

[jaF0]

There are sites devoted to it.

The kink seems to be expanding. Open Marriages have been around for a long time. This is just a variation.

 

[lovecraft68]

Yeah, I keep thinking that it's a fantasy of like, five old guys, all dumped and divorced, who have promoted it here at Lit. and blown it into big business--just here at Lit.

There's an author I know who is selling it like wild fire, to the point I wish I had a knack for it.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think it has elements of Submission to it, in fact I personally consider it a little bit of a kid sister to BDSM because of the aspects of being 'forced' to watch, but not really being forced.

It also reminds me of a 'one way swing' of sorts. Rather than the typical couple enjoying swapping and both enjoying watching the other play, its one sided.

But LW is a terrible example of it, it takes the humiliation of the husband to extreme degrees and often shows them getting no enjoyment of it which of course is designed to enrage the pathetic dorks there into spewing more hate at the wives and their lovers.

So I suggest that if you want to research the cuck fetish this place is a bit of a waste. Too many bad versions of it to spend the time looking for the good ones.

As for is there a female version?

Hmm let's see a fetish where the woman is humiliated or demeaned. Try over half the stories on this site.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

Yes, US.

I have, and I keep running into it--the fantasy, at least, not sure if they'd actually want to enact it in rl. Big time! It's a huge, necessary turn on. Kind of why I asked.

...?

I've never met a person in the real world who'd admit to wanting it. Ok, sure, there's social stigma involved in admitting it maybe, but I've had my share of candid conversations about sex and no one has ever spoken positively about having someone else do their wife while they watched.

Are you in the US?

 

[GoldenCojones]

Any insights?

Why do so many men (husbands) fantasize about their wives cheating on them. I'm clueless.

I'm not talking ones where she ends up punished but the ones where it's truly a fetish. Fantasies of being tied up/helpless and forced to watch while the neighbor/best friend/school coach fucks them. Getting off on the betrayal and/or humiliation. The other guy is usually hotter, bigger, better in some way.
...

No judgment, just genuine curiosity.

I'm not sure if I fit your bill or not. I enjoy watching, knowing, etc. my wife having sex. For me there is not a submissive quality and I'm not a typical cuckhold since I get still get my share (not just from my wife.) But here are my reason's / thoughts:

I enjoy knowing that my wife is a sexual person. My previous marriage was cold, loveless, and sexless. I vowed to never be in that kind of relationship again. Knowing that my wife is a sexual person affirms that she is right for me.

I understand that Sex and Love can be separate. In another thread a poster, I don't remember who, noted that sex is very intimate. I can't argue that point, but so are some platonic friendships. My first wife had more than one friend with whom she discussed at length a variety of very intimate, and usually derogatory toward me, topics. The wonderful woman I'm now married to has never, to my knowledge, tried to humiliate me or degrade me in front of her friends or lovers.

I'm not jealous or insecure, so the porn aspect of it excites me without me having the negative feelings of jealousy or anger. If I ever felt insecure in our relationship, then our lifestyle would have to change. I believe my wife would agree to that in a heartbeat and she has expressed that on several occasions.

So I don't know if I answered your question since I don't consider myself to be a cuckhold, nor do I consider my wife having fun with others "Cheating" but others would see it that way so maybe.

I'll keep watching this thread because this topic is certainly controversial and I am also interested in other's opinions.

 

[12356416514a]

On some other board I was told that it is due to having a weak father. It makes you look for another man that is strong to take care of things you can't do. Some of those stories feature men that are not able to please their gf or wife.

 

[ottowalters]

On some other board I was told that it is due to having a weak father. It makes you look for another man that is strong to take care of things you can't do. Some of those stories feature men that are not able to please their gf or wife.

That sounds like a Freudian explanation that rarely correlates to real life.

 

[HeyAll]

I have a theory:

What kind of porn do men like to watch? Porn where the woman takes it hard (either through sex or masturbation) and achieves a crazy orgasm. That's what men want to see. A woman in a state of pure lust. No one wants to watch a porn where the woman is barely into it.

So presumably, a man wants to see his wife like that. And if he can't do it, he wants to see (or know) that his wife is having those same types of wild orgasms.

Just a theory.

Also the whole submissive thing (as mentioned) is probably a factor. The OP asked if there was anything comparable to women. Sure. Anything where a woman is bossed around and controlled by a man.

I think cuckolding is basically the same thing. It's probably another variation of femdom. If you take the wife out of the situation, then the husband doesn't care about the "bull" anymore. It only works if the wife is involved.

 

[ottowalters]

Any insights?

Why do so many men (husbands) fantasize about their wives cheating on them. I'm clueless.

Removing the stories with humiliation from the mix; I think it's a subjective anxiety around attachment and around the female libido. If her uninhibited libido is unleashed can I alone please her (manage it?), and and will she come back to me (choose me).

Additionally, perhaps the humiliation part is a type of self loathing for having these kinds of anxieties / fantasies in the first place?

 

[Carnal_Flower]

For some, there seems to be such a turn on with the humiliation and betrayal. Like seriously enjoying being made to feel inadequate and small. That's such a key part of it. Showing through this other man how lame and puny the guy is, and he's loving it.

The diff between men and women is that if a woman sees it, she's going to feel jealousy and want to claw the other woman's eyes out, whereas the man is going Go, Dude! Identifying with the other, stronger man. There doesn't seem to be the same kind of competition a woman would feel.

 

[lovecraft68]

For some, there seems to be such a turn on with the humiliation and betrayal. Like seriously enjoying being made to feel inadequate and small. That's such a key part of it. Showing through this other man how lame and puny the guy is, and he's loving it.

The diff between men and women is that if a woman sees it, she's going to feel jealousy and want to claw the other woman's eyes out, whereas the man is going Go, Dude! Identifying with the other, stronger man. There doesn't seem to be the same kind of competition a woman would feel.

Average woman yes, but plenty of women are in swinging/open situations and love watching another woman please their man, or maybe its watching their man please the woman...

Now my theory with men who are cucks is this.

There was-not sure if they have squashed it over the years or 'revamped it' a conditions called "Trollism" what this condition is about is men who think their waives are 'hot' and sexy and so much so they want to show them off by letting other men be with them, its a case of "Man, isn't she the best?"

Of course it was a 'condition' in a much more prudish time. Now its a fetish

I do believe part of it is getting off on humiliation, that guy is so much better than me and he's even taking my wife right in front of me! Along the lines of how many subs, both male and female are wired.

I think the humiliation is where this fetish has devolved in LW. In real life if the man is fine with verbal humiliation, the wife will say things while he's watching like "God, its so nice to get a real cock" sometimes the man "The bull" is allowed to say things to the husband, sometimes its limited to just the wife.

Like swinging/bdsm and any other fetish, there are rules in true cucking, boundaries agreed upon.

But because we are talking erotica writing and not real life, rules be damned and the fetish which is a mix of submission/voyeurism has devolved into nothing but abuse.

I always harp on the abuse of women in LW in BTB stories, but fact is the way some of the cuck husbands are portrayed it downright sadistic as well.

Its a genre that at least as its shown here I can't have any respect for. But maybe that's because I have read some very good accurate versions of the fetish from other venues.

 

[BuckyDuckman]

For some, there seems to be such a turn on with the humiliation and betrayal. Like seriously enjoying being made to feel inadequate and small. That's such a key part of it. Showing through this other man how lame and puny the guy is, and he's loving it.

The diff between men and women is that if a woman sees it, she's going to feel jealousy and want to claw the other woman's eyes out, whereas the man is going Go, Dude! Identifying with the other, stronger man. There doesn't seem to be the same kind of competition a woman would feel.

Yeah, the humiliation factor is a twist which has overtones of D/s play.

Cucking fantasies head in so many directions, like forced bisexuality, where the hubby is forced by his strong, sexually powerful wife to prep her bull. (I don't get that, because wouldn't that make the bull gay, too?)

Then there's implied bisexuality, where the hubby plays clean-up.

For more D/s or BDSM oriented play, there's orgasm denial for the hubby, which can include caging his prick so he can't have an erection.

There's also interracial, where the woman apparently craves big black dick and the hapless hubby is made to feel inadequate compared to her dark skin lover's immense size.

In the most classic cuckold situation, the hubby doesn't know about his wife's indiscretions, though the community does. What most people now refer to as cucking technically describes a wittol, where the man knows of his wife's infidelity.

As an off-shoot of the more aggressive cuck fantasies would be the growing "hot wife" slant, which seems to include most of the cuck concepts, but without the humiliation, D/s, or BDSM play.

I believe most men would be insanely jealous and heartbroken if his wife wanted to have sex with another man in front of him. I don't think most men could see something like that without becoming unglued. There are guys who have enjoy small prick humiliation. I don't think there are any women would enjoy the converse. And what would the converse be? Loose pussy humiliation?

 

[lovecraft68]

For women there is breast domination, so little tits are the equal to small prick humiliation

Also women are more self conscious of their bodies than men(women gain weight its terrible, guys are fat pigs, who cares)

So there are humiliations where women who do not have the 'perfect form' are forced to strip and remain naked while being degraded and demeaned by the clothed 'hot' women around her

In kink there is always a his and hers, its just in some fetishes one becomes far more well known.