Thoughts on Polyamory

[BiDrew42]

But in my case I am fine with my lover being with someone else at times. I do not want to watch or cuckold.
But do be honest and open.

I lived with a couple for nine months when I was in the Air Force. I loved both of them and we had a wonderful relationship. I was devastated when they were transferred back to the states and I was stuck in Europe for another 8 months. We were also swingers, and after they left I tried to have a similar relationship with another of the couples who were a part of our regular group. Unfortunately, while the wife had no problem with her husband having sex with other males when they attended swingers parties, she became very jealous of the relationship between me and her husband when I moved in with them and it ended rather badly.

 

[VampirTARA]

I lived with a couple for nine months when I was in the Air Force. I loved both of them and we had a wonderful relationship. I was devastated when they were transferred back to the states and I was stuck in Europe for another 8 months. We were also swingers, and after they left I tried to have a similar relationship with another of the couples who were a part of our regular group. Unfortunately, while the wife had no problem with her husband having sex with other males when they attended swingers parties, she became very jealous of the relationship between me and her husband when I moved in with them and it ended rather badly.

Your post belongs in the swingers section, this is about polygamous which I am one of, polygamist and swingers are two different subjects.

 

[BadGirl420]

My husband and I have been in a polyamorous relationship with another woman. She lived with us and we we're like one big married couple. We had Threesomes and one on one fucks very frequently

 

[BiDrew42]

Your post belongs in the swingers section, this is about polygamous which I am one of, polygamist and swingers are two different subjects.

Of course they're different. You must have missed the part where I was in love with the couple I was living with, so much so that I tried to have a similar relationship with another couple. The fact that we were also swingers is not relevant.

 

[VampirTARA]

Of course they're different. You must have missed the part where I was in love with the couple I was living with, so much so that I tried to have a similar relationship with another couple. The fact that we were also swingers is not relevant.

One of the biggest differences, between swingers and polygamous are, polygamous are married to each other, I love how people think they're experts are polygamy, because they lived with a couple and had sex for a while that is not polygamy, polygamy is a lifestyle and a belief, it is not about sex.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I am in a unique relationship where she is poly. It is interesting to consider that while her sexual escapades don't really bother (and in fact excite) me I am not sure if I could adapt to her having long-term commitments to other men on par with me. Meanwhile I could not live with her being a dumb bimbo that fucks any guy that came along.

Its some combination of her level of control of her circumstances and my priority in her life that makes it work. I don't know if that counts as polyamory. It is certainly different than your situation.

 

[MrRetro]

It's the only way to be. Humans aren't supposed to be monogamous.

I agree with you..

 

[VampirTARA]

Many species in the animal kingdom, Like the Lions in their pride, One male many females Plus there's many more examples., It is the way of nature We are just another species on this planet.

 

[BiDrew42]

One of the biggest differences, between swingers and polygamous are, polygamous are married to each other, I love how people think they're experts are polygamy, because they lived with a couple and had sex for a while that is not polygamy, polygamy is a lifestyle and a belief, it is not about sex.

In over 8 years as a member here I've done a pretty good job at not making judgmental comments about other members. Rather than start now, I'll simply wish you a happy life.

 

[SlutAddicted]

Many species in the animal kingdom, Like the Lions in their pride, One male many females Plus there's many more examples., It is the way of nature We are just another species on this planet.

There are also examples of female animals that mate with multiple males, including ones that we previously thought to be monogamous. Presumably our observation didn't previously pick up on this because the females were covert about it (or we just didn't look close enough) but I wonder if the other males are aware.

And how do they feel about it? With animals that live in groups of multiple males and females it seems unlikely that it would all be in secret. Even if they attempted to keep it secret surely they would get caught sometimes. The fact that it is covert suggests that the males aren't accepting of it but they don't necessarily have the ability to do anything about it. If another bigger stronger male takes your female and fucks her.....well that just happened and he'll do it again if he wants. Then what? Does the other male take over with that particular female or does the cuckolded male just accept the situation? Does he go find another female and accept that it might happen again or pick one less attractive to decrease the chances? Does he become celibate to avoid it all together? Does he just accept it as a fact of life?

So is monogamy based upon a stated intent or functional reality? If the male wants to be monogamous and behave like a paired couple with a female but she is getting fucked by other males, then they aren't really monogamous now are they?

Same applies to humans. Our society holds monogamy as a core value and we customarily pair off. But how many of us really commit, stay committed and don't stray? Maybe 50%? Are we monogamous if we say we are but then go fuck someone else? Does the answer change if we are covert in our infidelity? I think not. Based upon our activity as opposed to our stated intentions, a very large proportion of humans aren't monogamous.

We put more structure and rules around it than other animals. And we have recourse to leave and divorce so we are more able to indulge our jealousies or seek revenge. As a result we don't have to accept it the way other animals do but nor can we really stop it.

Isn't it being more true to oneself and loved ones to live in a poly relationship and stay committed to it rather than be in a monogamous relationship and cheat? As with sex in general we judge personal relationship and sexual preferences but turn a blond eye to deceit.

 

[VampirTARA]

There are also examples of female animals that mate with multiple males, including ones that we previously thought to be monogamous. Presumably our observation didn't previously pick up on this because the females were covert about it (or we just didn't look close enough) but I wonder if the other males are aware.

And how do they feel about it? With animals that live in groups of multiple males and females it seems unlikely that it would all be in secret. Even if they attempted to keep it secret surely they would get caught sometimes. The fact that it is covert suggests that the males aren't accepting of it but they don't necessarily have the ability to do anything about it. If another bigger stronger male takes your female and fucks her.....well that just happened and he'll do it again if he wants. Then what? Does the other male take over with that particular female or does the cuckolded male just accept the situation? Does he go find another female and accept that it might happen again or pick one less attractive to decrease the chances? Does he become celibate to avoid it all together? Does he just accept it as a fact of life?

So is monogamy based upon a stated intent or functional reality? If the male wants to be monogamous and behave like a paired couple with a female but she is getting fucked by other males, then they aren't really monogamous now are they?
As far as my dog and me being part of
Same applies to humans. Our society holds monogamy as a core value and we customarily pair off. But how many of us really commit, stay committed and don't stray? Maybe 50%? Are we monogamous if we say we are but then go fuck someone else? Does the answer change if we are covert in our infidelity? I think not. Based upon our activity as opposed to our stated intentions, a very large proportion of humans aren't monogamous.

We put more structure and rules around it than other animals. And we have recourse to leave and divorce so we are more able to indulge our jealousies or seek revenge. As a result we don't have to accept it the way other animals do but nor can we really stop it.

Isn't it being more true to oneself and loved ones to live in a poly relationship and stay committed to it rather than be in a monogamous relationship and cheat? As with sex in general we judge personal relationship and sexual preferences but turn a blond eye to deceit.

As far as monogamy Being part of our society, more like imposed believes by Christians, and the Jewish religion and as far as you have to be monogamous to be true to oneself and loved ones who is bullshit. you can love more than one person . I guess the Mormons, the Muslims and the Druids just to name a few, that there believes in marriage are all incorrect because it does not agree with the Christian Jewish and Western believes. Well they all need to quit pushing there beliefs on others.

 

[FantasySharer1]

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[VampirTARA]

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Well someone that likes to interrupting a thread with a personal advertisement of their stories. now shall we continue with the thread.

 

[BadGirl420]

There are many reasons I enjoy poly relationships.
We were happy...like one big married couple. She was our best friend, live in fuck buddy..she was our wife.
I loved her, he loved her, and she loved us. We all still love each other..and spend time together...she's still my best friend...but she's since moved out...just not moved on

 

[JanuaryBlue]

Wow!

What a great, thoughtful thread. I have recently discovered the concept of polyamory and feel it speaks to me, my ideals, my tendencies and my heart. Sadly, I am married and my husband isn't interested in entertaining my notions. In the interest of full disclosure, I have cheated on him. But before you judge/label...think a minute....

The agony of doing that was excruciating. I did not have a name for the way I felt; namely, I wanted to explore relationships with other men. I wanted my husband, first and foremost, but there were needs he can't fulfill.

This has torn us both up. He wants a commitment from me I'm not able to give. We want each other. I want to explore the depths and breadth of relationships.

But we cannot agree and one of us has to decide.

 

[BadGirl420]

What a great, thoughtful thread. I have recently discovered the concept of polyamory and feel it speaks to me, my ideals, my tendencies and my heart. Sadly, I am married and my husband isn't interested in entertaining my notions. In the interest of full disclosure, I have cheated on him. But before you judge/label...think a minute....

The agony of doing that was excruciating. I did not have a name for the way I felt; namely, I wanted to explore relationships with other men. I wanted my husband, first and foremost, but there were needs he can't fulfill.

This has torn us both up. He wants a commitment from me I'm not able to give. We want each other. I want to explore the depths and breadth of relationships.

But we cannot agree and one of us has to decide.

I can relate!
Our poly relationship involves other women. But when it comes to other men...I'm a cheater. He isn't as open-minded as I am.. Unfortunately.

 

[KaseE]

Many species in the animal kingdom, Like the Lions in their pride, One male many females Plus there's many more examples., It is the way of nature We are just another species on this planet.

I can relate!
Our poly relationship involves other women. But when it comes to other men...I'm a cheater. He isn't as open-minded as I am.. Unfortunately.

I'm in a polyamorous relationship with one man and two other women. I surmise from knowing him (I get to spend the most time with him as we live withing 15 miles of each other, while our wives each live over one hour away) that the kind of man who wants multiple wives is an "alpha male" and is not going to be very open to sharing them. That strength is one of the things I find attractive.

 

[perrafuker]

It's the only way to be. Humans aren't supposed to be monogamous.

that's a pretty general statement that you are making there.

there are people who are monogamous and are very happy

 

[VampirTARA]

Are you the legal wife?

I am the first one that was married Yes I am the legal wife, and my other two sister wives Toni & Kathy Also married to our husband, but in two other different states. the beauty is states do not share marriage records and the states that we were married in, the offense is considered a misdemeanor we were careful of our choice of states. we don't stray outside our covenant and all of us all live together in our mortuary it has worked for us for 23 years.

 

[Sigmund7]

What a great, thoughtful thread. I have recently discovered the concept of polyamory and feel it speaks to me, my ideals, my tendencies and my heart. Sadly, I am married and my husband isn't interested in entertaining my notions. In the interest of full disclosure, I have cheated on him. But before you judge/label...think a minute....

January- My wife is naturally poly and for many years it worked fine for us. She would return from a conference and tell me of the great people she had met and shared her self with. The problem came when she fell in love and the other person was not willing to share. There was a " him or me" moment ( not improved by her husband, who went ballistic when he found out about their dalliances) which ended my wife's interest in multiple relationships. I still think poly relationships can work, but hey may need to include everyone involved. That can be a challenge.

 

[coacheric]

What a great, thoughtful thread. I have recently discovered the concept of polyamory and feel it speaks to me, my ideals, my tendencies and my heart. Sadly, I am married and my husband isn't interested in entertaining my notions. In the interest of full disclosure, I have cheated on him. But before you judge/label...think a minute....

The agony of doing that was excruciating. I did not have a name for the way I felt; namely, I wanted to explore relationships with other men. I wanted my husband, first and foremost, but there were needs he can't fulfill.

This has torn us both up. He wants a commitment from me I'm not able to give. We want each other. I want to explore the depths and breadth of relationships.

But we cannot agree and one of us has to decide.

Just discovered or just got out of? Unless your cheating mentioned here is your thought of Poly in your other post.

 

[JanuaryBlue]

Know what?

Your tone is somewhat accusatory and I don't understand your question. Do you have an actual question or are you trying to provoke me?

 

[policywank]

What a great, thoughtful thread. I have recently discovered the concept of polyamory and feel it speaks to me, my ideals, my tendencies and my heart. Sadly, I am married and my husband isn't interested in entertaining my notions. In the interest of full disclosure, I have cheated on him. But before you judge/label...think a minute....

The agony of doing that was excruciating. I did not have a name for the way I felt; namely, I wanted to explore relationships with other men. I wanted my husband, first and foremost, but there were needs he can't fulfill.

This has torn us both up. He wants a commitment from me I'm not able to give. We want each other. I want to explore the depths and breadth of relationships.

But we cannot agree and one of us has to decide.

What are the needs you husband can't fulfill? That is a sincere question (believe me I am in not position to judge). I am curious about what pushed you to this decision.

 

[FantasySharer1]

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[VampirTARA]

The definition of polygamy is the practice of having more than one spouse. The definition of spouse is, the reference to either one of a married pair husband or wife
polygamous is an adjective to polygamy, so anything other than the above is not polygamy
I am a polygamist With two other sister wives, we were all married in a church each one in a different state to our husband.