Thoughts on alternating narrators in a single story?

[APilgrimSquare]

I did it once in a brief epilogue to a short story. It was close 3rd person on one character for the main body of the story, and then flipped to the other for the denouement. I thought it worked there. I generally don’t think it works in short stories where you’re providing both perspectives (or worse yet, three or more) side-by-side, flipping back and forth.

I think alternating POV between chapters is ok, but the story has to call for it. The POVs need to be radically different, or else what’s the point? It’s not enough, IMO, to just provide the “male/female” perspective (for instance). They need to have a fundamentally different view of the events in order for the difference to be interesting.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Thoughts on alternating narrators in a single story?​

I’ve done it multiple times. I think I handled it well. I’ve seen no adverse reaction or negative comments relating to this area. Indeed I’ve had positive feedback about stories that employ this device.

I tend to have a reason for doing it, rather than it just being a gimmick. As ever, it rather depends on how competently the transitions are handled.

 

[old_prof]

I think alternating POV between chapters is ok, but the story has to call for it. The POVs need to be radically different, or else what’s the point? It’s not enough, IMO, to just provide the “male/female” perspective (for instance). They need to have a fundamentally different view of the events in order for the difference to be interesting

I think my case does. The story is all about the emotions of the two FMC. Their first reactions to each other, their different views as they tiptoed towards falling in love, the two views of the hell of their breakup, the two views of the partial reconciliation. And there are key scenes, mostly conversations with third parties, where only one of the two is present.

I don't mean this as push back. I'm trying to explain my situation to give people a better handle on saying another approach would be better.

 

[old_prof]

I’ve done it multiple times. I think I handled it well. I’ve seen no adverse reaction or negative comments relating to this area. Indeed I’ve had positive feedback about stories that employ this device.

I tend to have a reason for doing it, rather than it just being a gimmick. As ever, it rather depends on how competently the transitions are handled.

Are you using 1P or 3P typically in these?

 

[Trionyx]

I did this recently with two women narrating about their budding romance. I don’t know why I did, but it simply ‘felt’ right. The one issue I paid close attention to was to make sure it was clear who was narrating. I used far fewer she and her pronouns and used more names and physical descriptions to help the reader keep them straight.
Santa’s Elves

 

[Paul_Chance]

As long as it serves the story have at it.

If it doesn’t work you’ll know it.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I have one story that did this, and it's my longest by far (~35k words). I Got You is a prank war between siblings that puts you in the perspective of the pranked sibling in each case. That way there's some surprise. It got a 4.8, and the only negative comments were character specific, not about the narrative device.

As a cherry on top, the epilogue was from the perspective of a third character. But each section was marked with the name of the narrator for clarity.

 

[stickygirl]

Hmm interesting. Interesting that I find the whole concept of 'persons' - in this discussion 'third' with different povs entirely baffling. I'm sure I've used the techniques without thinking of the underlying grammar and theory, but for me to offer any analysis is like trying to swim through fog. It probably explains why I got such crappy marks in Eng Lang at GCSE.

There are a few simple mistakes I now avoid, like head-hopping, but I think broader rules are there to be broken. So long as one is consistent with the breakages, you bring the reader along with you. However, I applaud you folks who can take paragraphs apart like you were dismantling an engine.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Are you using 1P or 3P typically in these?

First person past for the most part. Sometimes third.

 

[FrancesScott]

I’ve done this many times, but notably in Gravid Games, I wanted to alternate between a sex worker and her client to highlight their different perspectives. It seemed to work.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

I’ve done this many times, but notably in Gravid Games, I wanted to alternate between a sex worker and her client to highlight their different perspectives. It seemed to work.

Can you link to that? I'm not seeing it in your profile, and that sounds interesting. I'm always curious to see if writers portray sex workers as disinterested or not having fun.

 

[FrancesScott]

Can you link to that? I'm not seeing it in your profile, and that sounds interesting. I'm always curious to see if writers portray sex workers as disinterested or not having fun.

Sure:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-cp-gravid-games

 

[JMJ4Play]

I’ve got a story that works this way but it is tough to share.

 

[ADirtyPerv]

Sure:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-cp-gravid-games

Oh, I didn't look in that series. Thanks.

 

[FrancesScott]

Oh, I didn't look in that series. Thanks.

It’s not a series per se. It’s an anthology with a shared milieu and some recurring characters. But each story is stand alone.

 

[Actingup]

@PennyThompson and I did it for a recent story (link below), alternating between husband/wife narrators and then switching to their daughter at the end. We had a specific reason for doing it (to force the reader to consider their different viewpoints), and we've recieved very positive feedback on the writing. If you want to do it, go for it - there are no real rules around this.

 

[FrancesScott]

there are no real rules around this.

There are very few real rules about writing. Save E. A. Blair’s admonition to, “Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.”

The quality of the writing is what counts, not some color by numbers nonsense.

 

[Britva415]

I write in close third person and love alternating between viewpoints

Oh, this is usually way better than alternating between different 1p POVs or between 1p and 3p POVs. Way way better.

 

[IWroteThis]

I generally don't like it, but it has its place. One downfall of not liking it is that I'm not the best at it.

One of the biggest complaints in Waved Off was not the PoV shifts, but my handling of them.

On the other hand, in Who's (Tied) Up For Lunch I didn't even notate the PoV changes any different than the scene changes where the PoV didn't change, and nobody complained. Sure, it didn't get many comments, but a third of them complimented the 3 characters/3 PoVs format I used.

So, I guess the takeaway I'd suggest is: Do it when appropriate and do it better than I did.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Having read through this thread again, and seeing the number of people who struggle with the notion of alternating points of view (reading stories written that way, let alone writing them) makes me wonder what these people are reading in the mainstream.

Nearly every established author who writes in third person (a vast number of writers, probably the majority) changes the narrative to suit whichever protagonist they're narrating the action around.

I'm really puzzled that folk think this notion is unusual, hard to do, hard to read. I'm sitting here thinking, huh? I don't understand the dilemma, to be honest.

 

[Erozetta]

I've done alternating 1st person, alternating 3rd person and alternating 1st and 3rd person and no one has complained about any of them.

Alternating 3rd had character headers at the switch, the story that alternates 1st and the story that alternates 1st and 3rd don't.

 

[Writer61]

Having read through this thread again, and seeing the number of people who struggle with the notion of alternating points of view (reading stories written that way, let alone writing them) makes me wonder what these people are reading in the mainstream.

Nearly every established author who writes in third person (a vast number of writers, probably the majority) changes the narrative to suit whichever protagonist they're narrating the action around.

I'm really puzzled that folk think this notion is unusual, hard to do, hard to read. I'm sitting here thinking, huh? I don't understand the dilemma, to be honest.

Just had a quick look at the last 20 or so books (6 authors) I listened to (I use Audible a lot). Without listening to them again, I am pretty sure that all were 3P with a single narrator. Approx 2/3rds were crime/thriller, and the rest sci-fi.

I have not sought out single-narrator works; it has just happened that way.

 

[Purechicanery]

IMO: alternating first person can be tricky. Alternating third person limited is as simple as giving a new person's thoughts.

 

[Raybies93]

I've posted a couple Sammi Elf stories so far, both told pretty much just from Sammi Elf's point of view, except for the epilogue at the end. I'm working on a third (Tommy becomes a dommy Krampus and Sammi Elf learns she likes that), but I'm drawn to writing it alternating between Sammi's point of view and Tommy's.

How do most folks here feel about that? About yep narrators for a single story submission? Many of the stories I've read here stick to one narrator, and if that's the convention I don't want to stray from it (especially if straying means I'll get voted lower), but I don't want to handicap the story for it, and most romance books I've read alternate between the two main characters' pov.

dont do it

 

[ElectricBlue]

Just had a quick look at the last 20 or so books (6 authors) I listened to (I use Audible a lot). Without listening to them again, I am pretty sure that all were 3P with a single narrator. Approx 2/3rds were crime/thriller, and the rest sci-fi.

Which is a narrow niche. Plus, audio books are going to lend themselves to a single narrator, so that's a skew in the data.