this sucks

[Willing and Unsure]

and i dont know what to do. i guess i could start rambling on about what's wrong.... and i think i will. i fell in love with my best friend and didnt realize it until last night when he told me he was starting to see someone else. i'm really happy for him and all, but i'm still hurting a lot right now and dont know what to do. i told him for the most part how i feel, i just didnt tell him i'm in love with him. it just hurts too much to know that i cant have him, and probably never will. any suggestions on how to deal with this?

 

[Siren]

Ah I see this is your

 

[Fleshmachine]

Wow that's a tuffy.

I say tell him you love him. If you don't, the hurt will only last longer. Tell him the truth. Don't tell him you like him. Don't tell him you think he's cute, or however you told him the "most part" of how you feel. Tell him you love him. It's the only way you have a shot. Albeit, an "all or nothing shot", it is a chance. Otherwise don't say a thing and move on.

So as they say in poker....

CALL or FOLD

 

[lavender]

 

[MinkSoul]

It Sucks.... and it Hurts.... and i have No idea what to do about it....


the only thing i can say is.... if someone tells you that experiences like this will make you a better person..... Spit in their Eye...

 

[Guest]

Words from a fellow sufferer...

One of the hardest things a person can do it let go of the one they love. I had to do this about 3 years ago. There was a guy I was dating who had an almost 2 yr. old child with an ex girlfriend. The ex treated him like shit. She walked over him. She used him. And worst, she played with his emotions. I'm sure had they not had a child together, he never would have put up with her shit or would have taken her back so many times.

Anyway, our relationship was coming up to close to a year when he told me that he and his ex were going to try to get back together again and to work things out for the baby's sake. (Which is very noble of them, but I just knew in my heart what she'd do to him again...and, I was right, by the way.)

But, instead of telling him that I loved him, I let him go. I cared more for his happiness than my own. He wanted to try to be a family with his baby's mother, and I didn't want to stand in the way.

To this day, I think he could be the ONE ex who, if he came back into my life, I would go back to him in a heartbeat. No questions asked. No dwelling on the past.

~sigh~


Good luck to you, hon. I know it's not easy.

 

[Mischka]

i fell in love with my best friend and didnt realize it until last night when he told me he was starting to see someone else.

As painful as this may feel, your feelings for your friend may have been magnified because he is now dating someone else, and not simply something you realized when he told you about his new relationship. You two have a bond, and jealousies occur even platonic relationships. You may be interpreting your feelings for him as more romantic than they really are because you resent the idea of sharing him with someone else. I suggest stepping back and really evaluating how you feel about him. If you two can ever have a romantic involvement, it cannot be built on the ruins of his current relationship. Let it run its course. If it ends, and you still feel this way, then talk to him. But do not distract him from his current relationship - that can only hurt you both.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

it wasnt like i just realized it out of nowhere when he told me that... i have been questioning my feelings towards him for awhile now and i have actually been feeling more and more lately that i am in love with him... then he told me about the other girl and it made me come out of denial of it

 

[Mischka]

Sorry, WaU, but when you said you "didn't realize it until last night" I assumed this was a recent development, not somthing you have been mulling over for a while. I still stand by the rest of my advice, though, and echo everyone else's advice. He is in another relationship now. It sucks, but you have to keep to the sidelines for now. If that relationship ends, then you can discuss your feelings with him again.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

thanx for the input.... i did talk to him (yes i know... already)... and everything will be ok with us. he knows me better than i know myself considering he knew how i felt about him some time ago and everything be ok... he's very reassuring like that... and anyone would be lucky to have him