This place has changed!

[FilthyTires]

I hung around here from 2008-2012ish. Good to see a couple familiar names still floating around.

This subforum seems real different now, though. (And not just the site redesign.) What have been some of the biggest changes in demographics, you all think? What brings people to the forums now? It's not Story of O or Gor or Kushiel's Dart anymore, it's Shades of Gray and booktok.

And what're the kind of threads you all wish you saw more often? (Or used to and don't happen anymore?)

 

[AG31]

@FilthyTires
Very interesting!
After a decades long absence from the world of erotica I reentered it via the online environment. I was mystified that it didn't looke and feel the way I remembered from the 70's. In particular, The Story of O was either completely unknown, or it was scorned "old fashioned," and 'from the description that seems based more on “nothing better was available at the time” than “this is the pinnacle of all things sexy in a written word.”' @Omenainen.

So I'm wondering if the change happened post 2012? Shades was written in 2011.

I've only been around for a couple of years, so can't comment on changes here.

 

[AG31]

I hung around here from 2008-2012ish. Good to see a couple familiar names still floating around.

This subforum seems real different now, though. (And not just the site redesign.) What have been some of the biggest changes in demographics, you all think? What brings people to the forums now? It's not Story of O or Gor or Kushiel's Dart anymore, it's Shades of Gray and booktok.

And what're the kind of threads you all wish you saw more often? (Or used to and don't happen anymore?)

How would you describe the difference between Shades and O?

 

[FilthyTires]

How would you describe the difference between Shades and O?

I've never read either, it's just an observation of being a generational difference.

 

[AG31]

I hung around here from 2008-2012ish. Good to see a couple familiar names still floating around.

This subforum seems real different now, though. (And not just the site redesign.) What have been some of the biggest changes in demographics, you all think? What brings people to the forums now? It's not Story of O or Gor or Kushiel's Dart anymore, it's Shades of Gray and booktok.

And what're the kind of threads you all wish you saw more often? (Or used to and don't happen anymore?)

And to approach this fascinating topic from a different angle, were you remembering a favorable reaction to Fifty Shades? In my couple-three years roaming around online erotica almost all the comments I've seen about it have been scathing. Mostly how she didn't understand the BDSM world. I was puzzled by this for a long time. It was just a story. It either worked for you or it didn't. But then I came to understand that "BDSM", for a lot of people, means a whole set of assumptions, things like negotiation and trust and aftercare. I've taken to using S & M myself.

 

[AG31]

I've never read either, it's just an observation of being a generational difference.

Rats! Anyone else in this forum have opinions?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

How would you describe the difference between Shades and O?

One is shit.

Seriously, 50 Shades is the fantasy of a naive over-18-honest teenager being Swept Away by a rich guy, and more importantly, don't worry about any of that boring adulting, because Rich Guy will look after you. Being assured that it's OK to like sex is a minor detail, and the terrible kinky stuff is even less important.

And it's terribly written and clunkily plotted. The fact that it's thinly-disguised vampire fanfic explains a lot.

Story of O, while totally unrealistic and also a fantasy about rich guys will sweep you away and stop you having to worry about a thing, is also richly detailed in its kink, as if the author has at least had lots of sex and done some BDSM, and is beautiful prose. It gets a bit pretentious, but its efforts to explain psychology of submission are at least in a ballpark of reality.

Put it this way, 50 Shades makes Gor novels look like award-winning literature... I do know some people who liked it, but as mindless bonkbusters, where the wealthy lifestyle is the attraction, the sex is incidental, and it's just some mindless fluff to read on the beach while getting wasted. They all had small children, so were too tired to read anything more demanding.

 

[BiBunny]

Hi there. I am An Old, too. I've been here since the dawn of time. I have nothing coherent to say on the subject of how BDSM has changed and been influenced by popular media. But I did want to say welcome back.

 

[FilthyTires]

And to approach this fascinating topic from a different angle, were you remembering a favorable reaction to Fifty Shades? In my couple-three years roaming around online erotica almost all the comments I've seen about it have been scathing. Mostly how she didn't understand the BDSM world. I was puzzled by this for a long time. It was just a story. It either worked for you or it didn't. But then I came to understand that "BDSM", for a lot of people, means a whole set of assumptions, things like negotiation and trust and aftercare. I've taken to using S & M myself.

The only people I personally knew that liked it were either very vanilla, or had deep BDSM fantasies but were too insecure and ashamed of it to actually educate themselves or spend time in the community - in other words, it was the poor communication and manipulation of inexperience that they seemed to enjoy the most!

 

[AG31]

The only people I personally knew that liked it were either very vanilla, or had deep BDSM fantasies but were too insecure and ashamed of it to actually educate themselves or spend time in the community - in other words, it was the poor communication and manipulation of inexperience that they seemed to enjoy the most!

I don't know any personally. At least as far as I know.

 

[pplwatching]

@FilthyTires
In particular, The Story of O was either completely unknown, or it was scorned "old fashioned," and 'from the description that seems based more on “nothing better was available at the time” than “this is the pinnacle of all things sexy in a written word.”'

The only people I personally knew that liked it were either very vanilla, or had deep BDSM fantasies but were too insecure and ashamed of it to actually educate themselves or spend time in the community - in other words, it was the poor communication and manipulation of inexperience that they seemed to enjoy the most!

Sex sells, so both books made it to film but I think the payoff that the producers were looking for was much different. I don't remember seeing much marketing for porn or erotica back in the "O" days. There was more tolerance for sex marketing in the 'Shades' days.

My wife and I must have been in our 30s when we rented The Story of O on video. We were pretty vanilla, all things considered, yet open minded. We had some erotic novels on our bookshelf at the time and had watched porn together - but the advertising was still driven by 'decency standards' even then. Erotic novels, including 'compilations of sex stories', were available at our local book store, so that's how I learned about them. I don't remember seeing "O" in printed form at the time, so we didn't know about this title or what to expect. It was in the 'popular' bin at the 'adult movie store', so we rented it. The video was pretty decent by porn standards at the time, as I recall, but what really struck a chord with my wife was the spanking. She saw that and her eyes and body radiated her excitement. In the many years since, spanking pretty much never fails to set her on fire. Our toy box includes some 'made for play' paddles that we've picked up through the years.

So, I think something either resonates or it doesn't. Maybe it just takes seeing it (or reading about it) to flip the switch. If something in "Shades" strikes a chord, the same thing would probably strike a chord no matter when it was published or how well a video was produced. Older VHS movies have a more taboo feel to them, though. But, I think that back then there was a sense of shared adventure reading erotica and watching porn together, because it was 'new to us' and not a part of our regular entertainment diet or lives. Maybe it was more 'cerebral' to explore the undiscovered country back then. Now, it's everywhere and everyone seems to be looking for the next big thing. Maybe we're all just bored.