This means she's getting off right?

[azcollegeguy]

I have recently been seeing this woman who is amazing in bed and I want to make her feel great also. It seems that it is hard for her to orgasm. I have had several girlfriends and I have never had a problem getting them off, normally with my fingers or my tongue on their clit. She doesn't seem to get off like this although she says she loves how it feels. So I came here and I looked at the way to hit the gspot with my fingers. She loved it and last night I thought i finally had it. I was rubbing her clit with one hand and hitting her spot with my other. She started gushing lots of liquid, and i kept it up for a long time and she was loving it, and there were many many waves of her gushes. (It soaked like 1/2 the bed through like 3 layers of sheets/comforter. When I finished I asked her about it, and she said she loved it and that she had gotten so close to getting off. Well she was the first person I have been with that squirted the way she did and I had assumed that it was her orgasming. So yeah whats going on here?

 

[wickedchicken84]

Ill get back to you

I'm not really sure, so i'll read up on it and getack to you, n that time someone will probably have answered you, but I have heard that its is normal for some women to have alot of lubrication. As for the amount you describe, im not sure, but maybe you could tell us the color or consistancy of the liquid.

 

[wickedchicken84]

So i did a bit of reseach. Sounds ridiclous I know, however, woman can experience two types of orgasms. The clitoral orgasm which is viewed as the most intense and easier to happen, and the second is the vaginal orgasm, which is viewed as much harder to acccomplish but has a longer lasting efect.

There are 4 phases to a womans' sexal response cycle, excitement, plateu, orgasm and resoltion. The amount, scent and color differs from woman to woman. Some women have less lubrication than others and thus require some type of lubrication (ky, wet, ect.) while others produce so much natual lubrication that hey can literally get things soaking wet. justdepends on the woman.

It sounds as if she is one of the tpes that does have a lot of lubricatio, which is ok. having less or more doesn't neccesarily mean they are more or less turned on, its just the physiology of the particlar person.

This may help more as it is a full description of the female sexual response cycle, including the orgasm and what to look for.

http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/orgasm.htm

 

[HornyHenry]

So, she didn't stop smiling for a long time?

I have recently been seeing this woman who is amazing in bed and I want to make her feel great also. It seems that it is hard for her to orgasm. I have had several girlfriends and I have never had a problem getting them off, normally with my fingers or my tongue on their clit. She doesn't seem to get off like this although she says she loves how it feels. So I came here and I looked at the way to hit the gspot with my fingers. She loved it and last night I thought i finally had it. I was rubbing her clit with one hand and hitting her spot with my other. She started gushing lots of liquid, and i kept it up for a long time and she was loving it, and there were many many waves of her gushes. (It soaked like 1/2 the bed through like 3 layers of sheets/comforter. When I finished I asked her about it, and she said she loved it and that she had gotten so close to getting off. Well she was the first person I have been with that squirted the way she did and I had assumed that it was her orgasming. So yeah whats going on here?

Yes, it was probably big G-spot orgasms.
Go here and read some, and post your replies there.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=70892

 

[SweetErika]

I have recently been seeing this woman who is amazing in bed and I want to make her feel great also. It seems that it is hard for her to orgasm. I have had several girlfriends and I have never had a problem getting them off, normally with my fingers or my tongue on their clit.

I'm not trying to hurt your confidence here, but we've had a lot of guys say the exact same thing: their current partner has trouble orgasming, but all of their previous partners have come easily, so they usually wonder what's 'wrong' with the current partner.

What's often happening is that the current partner is being honest, which is a very good thing, and at least some of the previous partners' orgasms weren't genuine. Women fake it for a variety of reasons, and it's not difficult to make it impossible for our partners to tell whether we're faking it or not.

Only your previous partners know if any/all of their orgasms were real, but that doesn't really matter at this point. The important thing is that your current partner is being honest and wants to work toward real orgasms with you. She could just fake it because she thinks she should or there's something wrong with her, to stroke your ego, avoid hurting your ego by telling you she wants something different, to end whatever's not working for her quickly, etc., but it sounds like she's not going that route, and that's wonderful for both of you.

Likewise, I think you deserve a lot of credit for trying to find out what DOES work for her, rather than jump to the conclusion there's something wrong with her, or that your techniques should work for her just because they've appeared to work for previous partners.

So I came here and I looked at the way to hit the gspot with my fingers. She loved it and last night I thought i finally had it. I was rubbing her clit with one hand and hitting her spot with my other. She started gushing lots of liquid, and i kept it up for a long time and she was loving it, and there were many many waves of her gushes. (It soaked like 1/2 the bed through like 3 layers of sheets/comforter. When I finished I asked her about it, and she said she loved it and that she had gotten so close to getting off. Well she was the first person I have been with that squirted the way she did and I had assumed that it was her orgasming. So yeah whats going on here?

There's no way for us to know what's really going on, but in my experience, g-spot orgasms can feel very different, and are sometimes even anti-climactic, compared to orgasms that result from good clit stimulation or the right combination of clit and vaginal/g-spot or anal stimulation. So, if she's had orgasms on her own or with other partners, she may not recognize the g-spot orgasm she had as an orgasm. Or, she may have ejaculated/released fluid without orgasming...that's possible, too.

Either way, your best bet is to keep exploring with plenty of feedback/guidance from her in an effort to learn and give her pleasure WITHOUT focusing on orgasm, IMO. If she comes, great, but if she doesn't, she probably really enjoyed herself and you gained valuable knowledge for the future. Give it as much time and patience as necessary - you said this is a newer relationship, right? If so, it's almost certain she'll get closer as you get to know each other better and intimacy continues to develop.

Does she masturbate? If so, has she come on her own? Has she ever tried toys? These might be other avenues you may want to discuss and explore. The more familiar she is with her body, the more likely she is to be able to help you learn what works well for her. Some women need more clitoral stimulation than a mouth or hand can usually provide, too, in which case something like a good vibe can be really helpful. Plus, self-pleasure and toys are just fun!

 

[azcollegeguy]

I'm not trying to hurt your confidence here, but we've had a lot of guys say the exact same thing: their current partner has trouble orgasming, but all of their previous partners have come easily, so they usually wonder what's 'wrong' with the current partner.

Im sure it is standard for many people that come here that tend to be attracted to online message boards. Pleasing my partner is something that I take seriously and greatly enjoy, and Im always trying to get better.

I asked her earlier if she masturbates b/c I wanted to know if she has a method she uses and really likes, but she says she doesnt do it often. (She has consistently had a boyfriend) I guess I will have to focus more on her clit and see what happens.

 

[southernsky]

Im sure it is standard for many people that come here that tend to be attracted to online message boards. Pleasing my partner is something that I take seriously and greatly enjoy, and Im always trying to get better.

I asked her earlier if she masturbates b/c I wanted to know if she has a method she uses and really likes, but she says she doesnt do it often. (She has consistently had a boyfriend) I guess I will have to focus more on her clit and see what happens.

Goodness, I never quit masturbating because I had a boyfriend. If anything, it made me hornier that I was having sex all the time and so I masturbated more. I am perfectly willing to admit that I have a ridiculously high sex drive though.

I'd say you're definitely on the right track with her. TELL HER that your pleasure comes from giving her pleasure, and so you want her to experiment WITH YOU to find out what the two of you can do to give her pleasure. I think it's important to remember that the two of you have your own very special sexual chemistry together, and so things that might have felt good or bad with another partner may feel completely different with you/her. I think that as a woman, hearing that my partner wanted to create a good sexual experience that just the two of us share would make me relax quite a bit, and relaxation is the biggest key to getting her to cum.

 

[creamedjeans]

The other girls were faking.....

 

[azcollegeguy]

Thanks for all the faking comments, maybe your approach to relationships creates a situation where your partner wouldn't want to be truthful to you, but honesty leads to the best sex for all.

 

[Eilan]

Thanks for all the faking comments, maybe your approach to relationships creates a situation where your partner wouldn't want to be truthful to you, but honesty leads to the best sex for all.

Sorry you didn't get the validation you were seeking.

 

[littlebitshe]

Ahhh, a fellow Arizonian!

I just want to add that communication is the key! The more you two communicate what feels good to one another the better the sex will get! It sounds like you two are on the right track.

Maybe she should masturbate with you watching and you can help a little bit. She could then tell you what feels good and what she discovers in masturbating herself. Just a suggestion.... Could be VERY fun!

 

[sunandshadow]

No gushing does not = orgasm. I've had gushing for 5-10 min before an orgasm, and also gushing that was really close to cumming but then I couldn't quite get there. One problem is that all that lubrication decreases friction and thus sensation. I'd say take her comment at face value- she got really close to coming but didn't quite make it. So next time do the same thing but maybe try combining it with a vibrator on her clit or some menthol gel on her clit, or have her play with her nipples while you talk dirty...

 

[mjl2010]

No gushing does not = orgasm. I've had gushing for 5-10 min before an orgasm, and also gushing that was really close to cumming but then I couldn't quite get there. One problem is that all that lubrication decreases friction and thus sensation. I'd say take her comment at face value- she got really close to coming but didn't quite make it. So next time do the same thing but maybe try combining it with a vibrator on her clit or some menthol gel on her clit, or have her play with her nipples while you talk dirty...

Yeah um. I'd mention the menthol before you actually use it. Some ladies just don't respond well to that. As in burning pain.

MJL

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks for all the faking comments, maybe your approach to relationships creates a situation where your partner wouldn't want to be truthful to you, but honesty leads to the best sex for all.

It's very interesting that someone who's as enlightened as you portray yourself to be wouldn't consider the possibility that people are mentioning faking because it's likely you've seen it at least once.

Look, a lot of younger women especially don't know a ton about sexuality, themselves or what their partners truly want. It doesn't matter how great their relationship is or how much their partner cares about their pleasure, they fake it because they don't know how to get there for real, have self-esteem issues or feel pressure to come as fast, loud, hard and easily as pornstars and the women in the media do. Some are afraid their partners won't be happy with them or feel as good as they could about themselves if they don't come easily, from penetreation or need a vibe to come. Most women are nurturers, and as such, we seek to make our partners feel good about themselves.

I didn't bring faking up to make you feel bad, I pointed it out to make you aware what you're experiencing with your current partner is probably far more normal than you thought. I also wanted to reinforce that rewarding her honesty, being patient and not focusing on orgasm is the right way to go. I don't know whether your other partners ever faked it or not, but the statistics say at least some of them likely did at some point, and it probably was due to self-pressure, rather than your inadequacies.

That's the reality. If you choose to live in a fantasy world where your partners would never fake it with you, masturbation is rare when people are in relationships and your partners actually did orgasm when they said they didn't, that's your choice. But, as you pointed out, our relationships--including the ones we have with ourselves--are a lot more fulfilling when everyone is honest.

 

[sunandshadow]

Yeah um. I'd mention the menthol before you actually use it. Some ladies just don't respond well to that. As in burning pain.

MJL

Er yes, same with the vibe actually. Silly me, I tend to assume that since I would always ask first everyone else would too.

 

[KokopelliRises]

Female ejaculation does not equal orgasm. Often one comes a little before or a couple minutes afterward if you continue stimulation. Ejaculation and orgasm are more likely to happen together if you have been providing stimulation to the clitoris. G-spot orgasms are great, different for sure than clitoral, less intense (for me at least), but definitely pleasurable. Ejaculation usually comes with a feeling of release, opening of the floodgates (so to speak). Fun, yes. Orgasm, not exactly. Not the same as most male orgasms/ejaculations.

 

[Guest]

Yeah um. I'd mention the menthol before you actually use it. Some ladies just don't respond well to that. As in burning pain.

MJL

And instant UTI

 

[FurryFury]

If she says she is not getting off what would you disbelieve her? What is her percentage on lying about that?

I don't get it.

*shrug*

 

[Camilleon]

I'd just like to say three words: Hitachi Magic Wand

It's magic!

OK...five words...

Camilleon

 

[sunandshadow]

And instant UTI

Why would that be? If the gel is petroleum, and nothing in it but a little menthol, nothing for bacteria to eat. I've never gotten a UTI.

 

[WriterDom]

There are only two reasons for a woman to fake.

1. She is a lousy lover
2. She has a lousy lover

 

[mjl2010]

There are only two reasons for a woman to fake.

1. She is a lousy lover
2. She has a lousy lover

3. Her previous lovers were assholes and now she fakes with you because she's uptight about not pleasing you.

 

[Guest]

Why would that be? If the gel is petroleum, and nothing in it but a little menthol, nothing for bacteria to eat. I've never gotten a UTI.

There are two things that can happen on sensitive women:

1 - A minimal amount of the gel gets in and around the urethral opening causing an irritation that, while not exactly an UTI, will have the woman in misery for a quite a while.

2 - In addition, some UTI prone women carry bacteria without harm on their bodies. The reason they get repeated infections is that the bacteria migrate to the bladder repeatedly.

The gel irritates the urethra creating an "opportunity" for the infection to set in, and the UTI occurs.

I am of course not a doctor and this is a lay opinion borne of painful experience.


Maharat

 

[KokopelliRises]

I'd just like to say three words: Hitachi Magic Wand

It's magic!

OK...five words...

There's five words I'd like to try. Those suckers are powerful.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If she says she is not getting off what would you disbelieve her? What is her percentage on lying about that?

I don't get it.

*shrug*

Yeah, I agree. Surely she knows whether she's getting off and the OP should trust her when she says that.

Kudos for trying to press her buttons though. Have you had her masturbate in front of you so you can see how she gets herself off? Seems the simplest solution.