This guy...

[CandiCame]

OK, this might be the wrong place to put this, but... I thought somebody might know more then I do...

So, there's this guy that I met here, at college- in this new town, and we've been really close. He's a huge gamer to, we're both going for video game design, and blah-blah-blah-middle-middle-middle-I got drunk and sucked him off. That was weird because I'd never done it before-

Anyway, this guy is really punk, big guy, works out a lot, PURPLE FUCKING MOHAWK- so I thought he was probably gay. If that's horrible stereotyping or something, I'm sorry- I have no idea what I'm doing- anyway; I guess that no one was supposed to know that happened, because now he's all kinds of pissed off that I told some of our friends (all chicks, I don't know if that matters, 2 of them are a lesbian couple) about it. He left me a really angry voicemail. Now he's moved in with this girl that none of us know, except I met her once because he had that speech class with her, and I think that Nicole knows her because she has the same class. Anyway, she moved in with him.

So they had this housewarming party or whatever, and there were a lot of people over there, drinking and smoking- and I'd never smoked before (pot) so I was REALLY high, but nearly as bad as some of the people there- just that way where I couldn't stop laughing at everything; anyway more middle middle middle- I went to the bathroom and sucked him off again.

The important thing to remember about this is that I DON'T REMEMBER IT. I was drunk and high and I don't remember the last half of that fucking party. But now his g/f-this is my 2nd time meeting her- doesn't want me around there anymore. But he's texting me and bullshitting in class and still wants to go drinking and shit. My roommate keeps telling me that he likes me- but he's one of those REALLY faggy guys who thinks that everyone and everything is gay; the kinda guy who gives off a sorta rapey vibe and you don't feel safe drinking around him unless you're bigger then he is- so I don't trust him. He's a theater major and constantly throwing parties at our place and getting the cops called on us. That's not important to the story, it just pisses me off.

Also, I didn't instigate either time. And, it bothers me that this bothers me this much. If that makes sense...

So- WTF? That's my question.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK- I wrote this this morning when I was really pissed off- Here's what happened.

For the first time ever, i met a guy who seemed to have a thing for me. It was the first time I had EVER dine anything with a guy at all. He lives off campus, but we have a lot of the same classes and my idiot roommate had convinced me that there was something going on between us. We started hanging out a lot, then we started hanging out alone a lot, then he randomly mentioned that he had been with a guy before, and that he didn't care what sex the person blowing him was as long as he was getting his dick sucked. He had said shit like that before, so to kinda fuck with him, I started jacking him off- he pushed my head into his lap and I wound up sucking him off.

The next day, after that happened, I was having lunch with some friends and I told them what happened. So, after that I get this call from him where he's screaming into my voicemail about how I wasn't supposed to tell people and how he can't trust me now, and all this shit. So I didn't call him back or talk to him and stopped talking about it, and just kinda shrugged it off. But we still have studio classes together, so I tried to just wear headphones and not talk to him, but he starts bullshitting about this Halo Wars thing like nothing had ever happened. So I thought maybe he was just pissed at me and that was the end of it.

So, last night I hear through my roommate that he's having a party. So we get down there and I find out that he's having this party because he's moving in with some chick that he just met. That kinda pissed me off, so I started drinking- a lot- and I felt like an ass because I didn't know this girl and it's not her fault and all that shit, but I was pissed off. I tried to get Jamie to leave with me, because I was shitfaced and there was no way in hell I could drive, but he wouldn't, so the last thing I remember was sitting on the couch watching a bunch of idiot art kids play Mario Kart. I was so pissed that my friend Nicole noticed it and got me to smoke with her; thinking it would calm me down. It did, but it made me laugh like a dumbass, at everything-

So, I find out today, in a series of texts from the chick who moved in with him, that I apparently went to the bathroom- they only have one- for about 2 hours, so he came in to check on me. And I sucked him off again. And now she doesn't want me around him or her or their house. And I am TERRIFIED that my parents or somebody is going to find out about this- I know that's not cool to be scared of or whatever, but I am. But the thing is, she's really pissed about it, but he's not. At all. He still talks to me in class and wants to hang out and go barhopping and shit like none of it ever happened.

Maybe that makes it a little clearer... I'm not really sure what I was asking either, I was mostly just really pissed off. I guess my question was, "What the fuck am I supposed to do now? What is going on?"

 

[klippert]

Your in College

I read this twice and......I still don't know what your actually saying... whom your sucking and who is dangerous.... Your in College right...

 

[HottieMama]

I'm not sure what you're saying either, but mixing booze and pot to the point of black out and doing sexual things with random people is NEVER a good thing.

 

[CandiCame]

I know this is the gay section of the forum, but it might be worth noting that I'M A GUY for the purposes of answering this. Ignore the name- focus on the dick. Just for this thread.

 

[klippert]

by any chance, were you high when you started this thread.... Your a GUY, I get it. I don't get what you saying.... are you a gay guy...Getting high and sucking cock in the bathroom, then your affraid of someone....

 

[CandiCame]

by any chance, were you high when you started this thread.... Your a GUY, I get it. I don't get what you saying.... are you a gay guy...Getting high and sucking cock in the bathroom, then your affraid of someone....

I got a couple of pms telling me not to put this in the LBGT section. That's why I added the last part about me being a guy.

But no, I'm not afraid of anyone...

Really didn't think the story was that confusing- I must really suck at writing. I keep getting that feedback on the stories I published here to. You can get editors for that, though....

And I wasn't high when i wrote this, I was angry and hung-over. Actually, maybe a little. I don't know. I have no idea how long that shit lasts, I've never had it before. But I did have a splitting fucking headache, and my heart was pounding.

And no, I'm not gay- well, maybe a little... I don't know. That's part of what I'm asking...

Oh, sorry, to answer your other question from before, yeah, I am in college.

And actually, yeah, I guess I am afraid, but I don't know what of. I thought I was just angry, but the more I get away from it, yeah, I think I might be scared to... But why? There's not really a reason to be afraid- if he was gonna beat the shit out of me, he'd have done it. Plus, that would somehow make more sense. I wouldn't be as pissed off if he wanted to fight about it.

Basically, I want someone to take what I typed up there and explain it to me, because I don't understand it. I'm just really pissed off, and I don't know why. And I know it has something to do with this shit.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Your a stream of consciousness writer. I know a few so I think I have a grasp of what you are talking about.

You got to know a guy and felt an attraction. Your roommate picked up on signals he was sending to you.

You had a conversation with him that lead to you giving him head. You told several mutual friends about sucking his cock. He got upset.

First issue: He was not ready to come out to his friends. He felt there was a trust between you both. Two people are at fault here, him, for not telling you to be discrete, and you, for disclosing the encounter.

He finds out that having your cock sucked off by another guy in art school does not incite a riot. He starts to talk to you again. You think that maybe a relationship may blossom then surprise "not ready to be out of the closet girlfriend" comes into the picture. Your jealous. He still wants to be suck buddies and pretend he is hetero.

Did I get that right?

My advice: If you like sucking his cock and know that it will not go further until he accepts himself then by all means suck. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship you need to go elsewhere.

 

[CandiCame]

Your a stream of consciousness writer. I know a few so I think I have a grasp of what you are talking about.

You got to know a guy and felt an attraction. Your roommate picked up on signals he was sending to you.

You had a conversation with him that lead to you giving him head. You told several mutual friends about sucking his cock. He got upset.

First issue: He was not ready to come out to his friends. He felt there was a trust between you both. Two people are at fault here, him, for not telling you to be discrete, and you, for disclosing the encounter.

He finds out that having your cock sucked off by another guy in art school does not incite a riot. He starts to talk to you again. You think that maybe a relationship may blossom then surprise "not ready to be out of the closet girlfriend" comes into the picture. Your jealous. He still wants to be suck buddies and pretend he is hetero.

Did I get that right?

My advice: If you like sucking his cock and know that it will not go further until he accepts himself then by all means suck. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship you need to go elsewhere.

This makes a lot of sense, actually...
The thing is, I feel really bad because of his chick- I really don't want to call her his girlfriend, because it was in the span of 2 days- but yeah... I think I'm jealous. That's why I was so pissed off... But I also feel like a dick for getting shitfaced at his house and letting it happen again. Just wish he wasn't so weird about it.

I feel really weird being jealous of a chick...
It's also weird because I didn't/don't really want a relationship. And it's not like I told everyone I knew- I told 3 other people, who are trying to help me come to terms with the whole thing. I know who went and told him to- chick thought she was helping. I don't usually get so caught up in stupid shit like this.

See... I really needed someone to explain it to me. Yeah. I'm jealous. I guess I should just stop being pissed off and see what happens. I don't really have anything to gain or lose at this point. Here's the thing though- if I were to get head from somebody else while I had a girlfriend, I'd think that was cheating. So, I feel kinda weird about it. But there's no guarantee it'll happen again.

But I guess I'm saying that I don't blame her for being the way she is, but I also don't think that ONE drunken blunder is a reason to ban someone from your house-who has been there longer then you- but again, for some reason, if it was me, and it was my girlfriend (or boyfriend) I guess, then I would be really pissed off. So I don't really know how to handle her. That was only the second time I'd met her.

She acts like I'm some cocksucking whore and I'm not. It kinda pisses me off. But I can't talk to her- and she's blocked my number so I can't text her. And I don't know if I should. I'm not really the kind of guy to send a "sorry I sucked off your man" message. Plus, the only reason that I even know it happened is because a couple people told me-which makes me wonder if people saw it, and if so, why- so they could all be fucking with me. I kept asking Jamie (my roommate) all day if he was just fucking with me.

Hey, thanks to everyone who read this ramble. It helped me a lot to get it written down.

 

[Stella_Omega]

1) you can't please them all, and in art school you can hardly please anyone.
1.a) Some people really take sexual fidelity totally seriously. I watched a lesbian couple break up for good after one of them fisted a different woman at a BDSM party. They were both playing with a lot of other owmen, but touch someone else's pussy and that was all she wrote.

2) Stop drinking. Seriously. Your field is incredibly technical and there are thousands of kids getting training in it, and attention to detail and a good memory are going to be your biggest assets when you go looking for a job. Also, not remembering a totally hot sexy night? dude you're getting all kinds of shit for it but none of the good stuff.

3)I get the impression that want you're looking for is a fuck buddy. keep that in mind as you deal with folk...Might give you a better outlook on who is available for what.

 

[twister947]

Can I have my 10 minutes back?

 

[CandiCame]

1) you can't please them all, and in art school you can hardly please anyone.
1.a) Some people really take sexual fidelity totally seriously. I watched a lesbian couple break up for good after one of them fisted a different woman at a BDSM party. They were both playing with a lot of other owmen, but touch someone else's pussy and that was all she wrote.

2) Stop drinking. Seriously. Your field is incredibly technical and there are thousands of kids getting training in it, and attention to detail and a good memory are going to be your biggest assets when you go looking for a job. Also, not remembering a totally hot sexy night? dude you're getting all kinds of shit for it but none of the good stuff.

3)I get the impression that want you're looking for is a fuck buddy. keep that in mind as you deal with folk...Might give you a better outlook on who is available for what.

Yeah- hey thanks for answering and taking me seriously! You've responded to a couple of my posts and you're always really helpful!

I'm not gonna go into video game design when i get out- I'm already thinking of switching to graphic design, but I can code in my sleep. And modding systems on the side is a great way to make extra money. I think I'm giving the wrong impression that I'm a drunk- cause I'm not, but I do go out drinking- and if I'm going out with the sole intention of getting drunk, then I don't wanna be tipsy, I want to be DRUNK. But, the reason that I got shitfaced that night is because I was already so angry. I know that I should've found a better way to handle it- if I hadn't been so shitfaced I could have left and not had to get a ride. Maybe I should slow down. It's just- it's so much harder to quit stuff. I was gonna go vegan, and my friends invite me to a barbecue- I was gonna quit smoking and 2 days into it standing outside the ceramics lab, Jo hands me a cigarette and says, "Smoke this shit. 'Peer pressure peer pressure'. Everyone's sick of you being a whiney bitch." So I know that if I try to quit drinking my friends are going to show up with liquor.

But yeah, since I've kinda let it go for the past day or so, I've still talked to him in class (god, I can't wait for summer to be over and the real classes to start- the studio classes are 4 hours long!) and nothing has happened. So, I think that it's one of those things where if you ignore it, it'll go away. But yeah, I think the NOT getting shitfaced around him is a good idea. I don't think I can trust myself when I'm so drunk I can't remember it. That's also the first time I ever blacked out, and it scared the shit out of me.

So... I wanna get this chick something as a peace offering, I think, but I don't know what kind of present says, "Sorry I blew your boyfriend. Happy housewarming!"

 

[klippert]

tell this guy too bugger off... he's fucking with you...he's looking for someoen to suck his dick...
This is a little life lesson....don't suck and tell...

by the way, thank you for the explination....

 

[fingermagic]

He must like the way you give head or he would not keep coming back for more.

 

[Nina21]

So... I wanna get this chick something as a peace offering, I think, but I don't know what kind of present says, "Sorry I blew your boyfriend. Happy housewarming!"

A cactus?

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Don't bother. Think about it. Do you really want the drama of forging a relationship with a girl who will still dislike you and be suspicious of you no matter what you do? Leave it be. Don't worry about what she thinks of you. In a year neither one of you will give a frog fart.

 

[CandiCame]

A cactus?

I have no idea why, but that makes a LOT of sense, lol!

 

[lustatopia]

Candicame, you have a riveting style, reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson. Should read some of his shit to see how far the steam of consciousness thing can be pushed. It's also good that you write about what you know. Yourself and your friends. More details please. More crazy.

I think you might want to sit in with some of your drama friends and think seriously about writing for theatre. You can do dialog, you have an intuitive scene of pacing. One acts with your actor friends to start, you know, class credit thing. Do and learn. You won't believe the thrill of seeing your work onstage before an audience. Art school is a place to explore all aspects of your creative potential, not just your initial interests that got you in the door. Go for it. You may never have the chance later in life.

As for any actually problem you seek to solve. Pfftt. We should all be so lucky to have your hassles. Baby, you are living what we ancients call the glory days. Wake up every morning and breath in the air like it was your first (or last) day on planet Earth and thank god, or whatever, for creation.

However - one small kink in the total perfection of your existence you might want to consider is the fact that you seem to spend a lot more time giving head than getting head. Tsk, tsk, that!

 

[CandiCame]

Candicame, you have a riveting style, reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson. Should read some of his shit to see how far the steam of consciousness thing can be pushed. It's also good that you write about what you know. Yourself and your friends. More details please. More crazy.

I think you might want to sit in with some of your drama friends and think seriously about writing for theatre. You can do dialog, you have an intuitive scene of pacing. One acts with your actor friends to start, you know, class credit thing. Do and learn. You won't believe the thrill of seeing your work onstage before an audience. Art school is a place to explore all aspects of your creative potential, not just your initial interests that got you in the door. Go for it. You may never have the chance later in life.

As for any actually problem you seek to solve. Pfftt. We should all be so lucky to have your hassles. Baby, you are living what we ancients call the glory days. Wake up every morning and breath in the air like it was your first (or last) day on planet Earth and thank god, or whatever, for creation.

However - one small kink in the total perfection of your existence you might want to consider is the fact that you seem to spend a lot more time giving head than getting head. Tsk, tsk, that!

Do you know why I don't hang out with the drama people more? Because I just got off night shift. I have a 4 hour studio class in 3 and a half hours. I have to work at the children's school today (I'm an education minor) then I have to work night shift again-and some guy I don't know is sleeping in my bed with my cat. I woke Jamie (my roommate) up to ask him who it was, and he said it was one of his drama buddies. I asked why he couldn't sleep on the couch. There's some bitch I don't know on my couch. I'm in the bathtub eating ice creme.

We only have one bathroom.

I'm giving him until my back stops hurting from stocking shelves all night, then I'm kicking his ass.

Also, I like giving head. Is there something wrong with that?

Also, I like ice creme- it's plain old chocolate- $2 at Kroger because I am broke as fuck. Fucking glory days.

I do love me some Hunter S Thompson though. Make me think of the movie they made about him- fear and loathing- somehow, that movie makes you drunk without having to drink...

Magic!

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Yeah, if that was me their ass is rolled to the floor. Unless I can either turn it into some hot sex or make them so uncomfortable they will never sleep in my bed again

 

[CandiCame]

Yeah, if that was me their ass is rolled to the floor. Unless I can either turn it into some hot sex or make them so uncomfortable they will never sleep in my bed again

lol- I know right! I was thinking about that all day- I have got to grow a fucking spine. It'll get me out of a lot of trouble. Would help if I didn't look like a little animie kid- if I had the time I'd jump on the Kinex. Right now I'm just happy those drunked idiots didn't throw a Wiimote through my TV.



Screenwriting is offered here- I'm not as big on my writing as I am my visual art- you seem to be the only one that likes it.

Maybe i will try it though- I've got to have a writing elective anyway, because I klepted out of all my Englishes. Dispite the fact that I can't write. hmmm.....

 

[SubmissiveBrat]

I must really suck at writing.

The only coherent thing you wrote.

 

[CandiCame]

The only coherent thing you wrote.

Cohesion is not my strong suit, lol

That's why I asked for someone to explain me to me.

 

[Toybox78666]

This guy in cutoffs

I'm watching this hot assed guy in cutoffs thinking about how much i would love to lick his hairy asshole while jerking his hard dick and waiting to lick his cum. PM me if you have ever walked around a store and a thought like this just -Poof- popped in your mind

 

[CandiCame]

OMG: Update

I had the anal sex!!!

Yay me!!!

Wooooooooooooot!!!

Right before my birthday!

And I'm NOT gonna fuck this one up!

Cute shit he's done for/with me

-Waited on my porch for 4 HOURS for me to get back from work
-Dance/Sang down the stairs with me to "People are Strange" by the Doors
-Serenaded me w/Smashing Pumpkins songs
-Paid for my food & a movie- in public- I WENT ON A DATE!!!
-Taught me about Jesus while naked after fucking me- HILLARIOUS
-Stayed all night at my house, sleeping with me until he had to go to work after we had sex; not 'I sucked him off, he left' type of deal- OMG it was fucking awesome


OK, so here's what happened- one of the guys that's good friends with my roommate is really strait edge- no smoking, drinking, or any of that shit- the only thing he does is STRAIT sex (until last night- squeel!). He's a hardcore Jehova's witness- we've been hanging out a lot b/c he's really good friends with Jamie and we get along really well. We've started hanging out together a lot; we went to see Captain America the other day, and he strait up paid for mine, not in the, "I'm broke will you get this," way- he just paid for it, and then made me sit with him (we shared the same pop). Then we went out to eat and he paid for that shit to!

So he plays guitar, and he was hanging out in the living room w/Jamie and some other drama kids, and I was in the kitchen, and he was like, "Hey V, listen to this- Eva adore, you'll always be my whore- ect."

So today- Sunday- I get home from work pretty late, and a few minutes later, he knocks on my door; I answer it, and he's dressed up in this white button up & dress pants, carrying a man-bag (which he never does).

Him: Hello, do you have a few minutes to talk about our savior, Jesus Christ.
Me: Jesus-fucking-Christ, what are you doing?
Him: I've been out all day, ALL DAY- since 6:00 this morning, trying to convert people
Me: That's stupid
Him: Well, the church makes us... make me some coffee
Me: um... k, come in, oh deciple of a god who works you to death.
Him: Oh my god, I'm so fucking tired- what the hell are you guys watching
Jamie: Reefer Madness- Alan Cumming is hot
Me: And his last name is Cumming (making instant coffee) we have no milk, or creamer or anything
Him: Why don't you guys ever have and food
Jamie: We don't eat. (We both weigh like, 30lbs) Plus, we needed to buy smoke
Me: YOU needed to buy smoke. I forgot to get milk at work today. We have... (looking in the fridge) shit we are out of food. We're even out of the basic elements of food- James- did you drink the soy sauce?
Jamie: Nah, I made stir-fry
Me: What kind
Jamie: Beef and vegetable
Me: (opens a container) There's no beef in this
Jamie: VEGETARIAN beef and stir fry (picking up a pamphlet) OMG, V, this little girl looks just like you in drag
Me: *blushing, making a bowl of rice & stir fry* shut-up
Him: Actually, it kinda does, V- if you wore your hair in pigtails
So, what's going on with you and __________- you guys still talking
Jamie: Sore spot
Me: Nah, it's ok. I don't think anything's gonna happen. He told me that his girlfriend said he can't fuck me anymore-
Him: You FUCKED him- I thought you said-
Me: No, I didn't fuck him, that's what she said-
Jamie (Assholeishly): That's what SHE said
Me: You're an asshole, anyway, no- I'm not...
Him: Bummer
Me: Uh, thanks for the sympathy on my gay-ass problems, whatwith your door-to-door Jesusing
Him: After the rapture, you can have my car.
Me: (confused- it IS a really nice car) Thanks
Jamie: Well, it's been fun girls, but I've gotta go to rehearsal
Me: It's 12:30 at night
Jamie: (gives me a weird look- one of those 'shut up' looks) late night. Byesies.
Him: See, you're not that gay
(We both laugh- I look at the pipe that Jamie laid down- honest to god, on TV Sally starts singing, "smoke the marijuana, sail a sea of sin- reach a hot Nirvana, tremor from within"
I pick up the pipe and put down the food,
"Feed your appetite- plan to stay the night"
I, out of instinct, pass it to him)
Him: Nah man
Me: Oh shit, I forgot
Alan Cumming: Tender virgin, fresh as morning dew- I've been eagerly expecting you-
Him: So... this is stupid...
Me: What?
Him: This whole, walking around getting yelled at and getting doors slammed in my face thing.
Me: Yeah, yeah it is. I wouldn't do it. But I don't do religion, so-
Him: Yeah
*awkward silence*
Him: So... you're not seeing _________?
Me: Salt in a wound, dude
*Alan Cumming is grinding against Jimmy, I've got a hard-on- watch this scene and try not to*
Him: I think I'm getting kicked out of church
Me: What the fuck? Why?
Him: Because *his girlfriend* and I- she cheated on me, and... we got into a fight and... that's...
Me: Why would that get you kicked out of church?
Him: It's a long story
Me: Did you beat her ass or something?
Him: NO!
Me: Then why-
Him: You wouldn't understand
*awkward pause*
Me: Alan Cumming is hot
Him: Was he in X-men?
Me: Yeah, he played NightCrawler
Him: Who?
Me: Blue, Russian, teleports
Him: Oh yeah...
*awkward silence- watching Reefer Madness*
Him: sooo....
*awkward silence*
Me: Yeah?
Him: The other night when we all went out-
Me: Yeah?
Him: Do you remember when we went to Stonewall, and Jo dressed you up as a chick
Me: Yeah, that was awesome! How did you not know the words to "Jackson"? WTF
Him: Yeah... you looked a LOT like a chick... you kinda have a chick face
Me: Um... ok... thanks?
Him: Yeah, it was supposed to be a compliment
Me: Uh, yeah, thanks- it was fun.
Him: Do you shave?
Me: What?
Him: I've never seen you with any facial hair
Me: Uh... yeah... don't you
Him: Yeah, but I've seen you wake up- you don't HAVE facial hair
Me: Um... sorry? I don't really, I can't grow a beard. I can grow a douchebag beard. Um... why are we talking about this?
*awkward silence*
Him: You just look a LOT like a chick
Me: Yeah... *getting kinda weirded out; thinking that he's trying to awkwardly hit on me* why do you keep saying that?
Him: I don't think that having sex with you would be that gay- __________ shoulda just fucked you. His new girlfriend's a bitch. She got pissed at me because I don't drink. How do you get pissed at someone for NOT being a drunk?
Me: She got pissed at me because I DID drink. But yeah, thanks *I emptied the ashes into the ash tray*
Him: So... HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THAT
Me: clams
Him: Singing? In pasta?
Me: Yeah
Him: What the hell?
Me: I have no idea
*he puts his arm around me- I didn't know what to do, so I snuggled into him; figured, well, fuck it*
*he tightens his grip*
*I put my hand on his knee*
Him: Do you have to be high to understand this?
Me: Yes
*he spreads his legs, I let my hand slip between them with my arm resting on his knee- we sit like this for a while; by the time Jimmy hits the dude with his car, I've slipped down to laying on the arm that's in his lap while he plays with my hair*
Him: So... I've gotta be at work at 5:00 and it's already allmost 1:00- do you care if I crash here
Me: Nah, man, the door's always open
Him: *silence for a few minutes* With you?
Me: Crash... with me?
Him: Um...
Me: I'm already in your lap
Him: um....
Me: (lay back to look up at him- am now laying ON his dick, he has a hard-on) you have...
Him: I know...
Me: (kisses him gently through his pants)
*he grabs me by the hair*
Him: Look- I....
Me: ?
Him: um....
Me: finish your sentences
Him: ... lets... go to bed...
*I get up, he lets go of my hair*
Me: You wanna get your Jesus stuff? (laughing)
Him: fucking shit...
Me: Look, it's ok...
Him: Those drama fags will probably go through it if I leave it out here
Me: Yeah, they will
*He gets his stuff together, I go on to my room and throw the cat out- he comes in in a few minutes; I'm sitting on my laptop trying to find some music; I go to pandora and put on my mood station, which is mostly NIN & Lords of Acid*
Him: Look...
Me: Yeah?
Him: You SERIOUSLY can't tell anybody about this... I mean...
Me: "this?"
Him:...
Me:...
Him:........... yes
Me: I've learned my lesson
Him: NOONE-not even Jamie
Me: I swear- hand me one of those bibles
Him: (laughs- I suddenly feel a lot better) This is fucked up
Me: yeah... you don't have to-
Him: Stop talking... just... stop talking... for a second... *sits down on my bed with his head in his hands- I sit there like a dumbass with the computer on my lap* Alright... Alright.
*I keep staring at him, NIN is now playing; I sit the computer on my nightstand, really confused at the awkward*
Me: Are you OK?
*he shoves me down*
Him: One way to find out *towers over me with his arms on either side of where he pushed me and kisses me- I've never kissed a guy before- it's weird how it's almost exactly like kissing a girl. I don't know what I expected, but for some reason, the lack of difference really shocked me- I didn't know what to do so at first I was trying NOT to touch him, grabbing at the sheets (I'm a grown man with Spiderman sheets- that's class) but he pulled back and gave me this weird look, so I put my arms around his neck and really got into it- after that, after I let myself go, everything got way easier. He led me- I held onto him and let him kiss me, with this weird mixture of fear and excitement*
Him: hmm (happily) Yeah... I'm ok
Me: You are the... last person...
Him: (cutting me off) Turn around
Me: You're... I don't know that I can...
*He got to his knees, and started taking his clothes off, so I did the same, had to pull myself out from under him to get my pants off. He stood up to get his off, so I ran my hands down his chest (he's actually kinda ripped, he has a job where he's kinda forced to work out, but not REALLY ripped, not like _________, just not soft. His cock was really hard- and he was a good size, not huge like the last guy, which, for some reason I liked... I know that chicks always are supposed to like the guy with the biggest cock or whatever, but I really don't wanna get choked again. Not that he was small or anything... Prob 6" 6.5" something like that; I was laying on my elbows watching him at this point, as he climbed up behind me*
Me: I've not done this before... how should I do this? On my knees?
Him: Just stay like this... *pause* shit, I've never done anal before
Me: um... we need some lube... here *I had some in my nightstand; I got some on my fingers and handed him the rest; as soon as he grabbed the bottle, I started fingering my ass; I heard him moaning* You OK?
Him: mm-hm... You ready?
Me: I haven't done this before-
Him: Yeah... we don't have to...
Me: I'd be a dick to say no now
Him: You'd be a bitch to say no now- look, I'm gonna go really slow; tell me if I'm hurting you
Me: um... ok...
Him: Ready?
Me: I... yeah
*I felt this pressure as he entered me, and screamed- he stopped*
Him: You ok?
Me: How much is that?
Him: Seriously?
Me: Yeah!
Him: That's... barely the head... are you gonna be ok?
Me: Just... go slow...
Him: You want to stop?
Me: No!
Him: Relax- ok
*pushes farther in, I scream again because it feels crazy- like he's splitting me open. It doesn't exactly hurt, but I can't NOT scream*
Him: Shit, are you ok?
Me: Yes- stop stopping
Him: You're screaming
Me: People scream when you fuck them
Him: Oh... yeah...
Me: How much is that
Him: Not much...
Me: Well, don't stop anymore *he pushes farther in* no... matter... how... much... I... scream...
*it was a nice sensation, I had to grab onto the pillow- I had this reflex to grab something, and I did scream*
Him: You're screaming like you're being raped, this isn't how chicks scream
Me: I'm a fucking virgin! Don't stop!
Him: I'm not- you're doing good, it's allmost all the way in- how's that feel
Me: Like you're ripping me apart! Don't stop! Thank you for going so slow!
Him: You did it!
Me: Holy fuck (It felt amazing, I pushed back into him- my cock was really hard; I felt completely full- there's no real way to describe it, so I just started with expletives) holy fucking shit, this feels fucking AMAZING
Him: That's all the way in- can you take it
Me: Give me a second...
Him: Damn, you're tight! Why didn't *his girlfriend* wanna do this?
Me: Um... probably because it hurts like a motherfucker
Him: You want me to pull out?
Me: No- it's a good kind of pain, I just want you to give me a second to... I dunno, to get used to it...
*he pulls back a little and pushes back in*
Me: Oh god- what did I just say-
Him: Fuck, you're tight- every time you move I can feel it
Me: Because you're the first thing in there
Him: ....
....
.... thanks...
Me: *suddenly realizes this to, because he paused for it* ok... just... be gentle...
*he was really gentle, he went slowly, with really shallow thrusts at first- and it took forever- over 2 hours for him to cum; I think because he went so slow, but it was AMAZING, and I didn't rip or anything. He didn't give me a reach-around, but neither of us thought of it, and I came, but... it was weird. It's not like you jack off and you cum (which is still how he came) it was more like a bunch of little orgasms; it comes out like pre-cum but your whole body convulses and it's definitely cum- I know cum when I see it.*
Fuck, it was so hot when he came in me, to. He was all, "Fuck, I'm gonna cum! Are you ready?"
And I didn't know how to respond to that- had no idea what he meant- how was I supposed to be ready for that?
But... anyway, it was awesome! And afterward, he slept there, naked with me, with his arms around me, until he had to go to work! I'm so excited!!
So far, I haven't told anyone except the internet- and I don't plan to. I'm not fucking this one up. I have no idea how it's gonna play out, but I don't want to fuck it up. It's just the absolute weirdest thing ever!

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Very hot, congrats!