This And That.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Wave a wand o'er billowing bosoms while invoking the spell of w-e-t-n-u-r-s-e, and - mutatis mutandis - a-bra-c-a-bra! The tranlation is complete, from sorority house to plantation manse!

Richard Feynman is my mentor, he was the wise ass who destroyed NASAs bullshit case for the CHALLENGER explosion, using a glass of ice and a swizzle stick to do it. Whats SWIZZLE? two syllables? Ice is one syllable, I'm confident it is! STICK? one syllable!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Richard Feynman is my mentor, he was the wise ass who destroyed NASAs bullshit case for the CHALLENGER explosion, using a glass of ice and a swizzle stick to do it. Whats SWIZZLE? two syllables? Ice is one syllable, I'm confident it is! STICK? one syllable!

Feynman is fine, but not infallible. Ex cathedra de booboo.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Feynman is fine, but not infallible. Ex cathedra de booboo.

You mean MORE PERFECT.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

You mean MORE PERFECT.

No, more like peripenultimate...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My favorite character, RATTLESNAKE CHARLES.

Benjamin Johnson, M.D., was the doctor and coroner in Palmetto County, Florida. On that February morning back in 1899. Immediately after breakfast he left Gray’s Hotel and stood on the sidewalk lighting his pipe. Oakhurst was the sort of town where almost anything could happen and often did. On this particular morning the doctor spied a tipcart rolling along the street toward him; the driver of the cart was a stout matron wearing an old felt hat, overalls, and brogans, steering a one-horned ox with a pair of clothes-line reins. Beside her on the cart’s seat sat the old man called ‘Rattlesnake Charles.’

Even if Charles was a stranger to the doctor, he’d have known him anywhere because of his queer accoutrements: the old man traveled everywhere with a rattlesnake draped across his shoulders. If you asked Charles why he toted a rattlesnake around, he’d tell you that the snake was too big to fit in his pockets. His way of saying, ‘mind your own business.’

An entourage of children followed Charles whenever he came to town, fascinated by the uncommon spectacle of man partnered with snake. Plenty of boys carried grass snakes and ring snakes in their pockets; that was just part of growing up male in these parts, but toting a viper that could kill you; that was something special. Charles excited the children as much as a circus parade, and they followed him and the snake everywhere, not wanting to forfeit an opportunity to see the rattler bite Charles. People love suspense and vicarious danger.

Though they seemed docile most of the time, the snakes did bite Charles occasionally, but the doctor never treated Charles for snakebite. He’d never known Charles to be sober, either; he looked drunk that day, and Benjamen Johnson suspected whatever snakebites Charles got were pretty nearly a tie in the contest between himself and snake as to who got the worst of the exchange.
The woman stopped her cart near me and I tipped my hat to her.

“Good morning,’ Dr. Johnson.” She smiled. Charles and the snake climbed off the tipcart. His snake looked new.

“Charles? What happened to your other snake?” I said.

“Same as the rest of um, I ate him. You needs to let me bring you a jar of pickled young ‘uns. Jes open your mauff and let ‘em slide on down your gullet.” He pantomimed lifting a juvenile snake by the tail and dropping it down his throat.

“Thank you, no. What brings you to town?” I said.
“I needs to see you.”

“Not with your snake, you won’t.”

“What am I gonna do with the snake?”

“I don’t care. Pen the snake somewhere and come back.”

“But I’m sick.”

“Get rid of the snake and come back.”

Charles turned and looked at the woman.

“I ain’t watchin’ yo snake!” She sassed.

Charles looked at the boy lying in the back of the cart.

“Don’t look at me, old man. I ain’t touching no snake.”

Charles frowned and turned back to face me.

“Lemme go take the snake home and I’ll be back.”

“Good idea.” I said, touching my hat to the woman and leaving for the livery stable.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So today is the day I finally meet my youngest sister.

I have 5 sisters, I'm the oldest of the crew and the only male. I also have a different mother than these women.

My dad sent me a photo of this sister when she was born back in 1969, and I have 3 photos of her over the years. But we never met. Long story.

She's visiting sister #1, and I'm the last bit of business before she leaves. We're doing breakfast.

Shit! I have a daughter older than this gal.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Feynman is fine, but not infallible. Ex cathedra de booboo.

Feynman is like a silver cross and garland of garlic to you phoney brainiacs.

 

[NaokoSmith]

So today is the day I finally meet my youngest sister.

I have 5 sisters, I'm the oldest of the crew and the only male. I also have a different mother than these women.

My dad sent me a photo of this sister when she was born back in 1969, and I have 3 photos of her over the years. But we never met. Long story.

She's visiting sister #1, and I'm the last bit of business before she leaves. We're doing breakfast.

Shit! I have a daughter older than this gal.

Wow, that's quite a thing! I hope breakfast goes well for you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So I spent last nite contemplating inevitability, that is, how do you construct prose so it creates current or gravity or whatever to push the reader along? I've come across sundry models designed to help the reader get from IN THE BEGINNING...to THE END but none of the models really address the compulsion issue.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Wow, that's quite a thing! I hope breakfast goes well for you.

Good Morning! I expect it will come out all right but shit happens. The first time I met sister #2 she shared some history of our father with me, and it was nonsense. I told her it was nonsense, cuz I was there when the 'history' didnt happen. She was crushed by the revelation as it ruined her theory about our father's motivations. And it wasnt the sort of information you can ignore or pretend away. So its possible I may spill the beans unaware.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Good Morning! I expect it will come out all right but shit happens. The first time I met sister #2 she shared some history of our father with me, and it was nonsense. I told her it was nonsense, cuz I was there when the 'history' didnt happen. She was crushed by the revelation as it ruined her theory about our father's motivations. And it wasnt the sort of information you can ignore or pretend away. So its possible I may spill the beans unaware.

Ah yes, different people in the family always have their different narratives. It makes for interesting fiction, when these stories all come together and some of them get bumped off the tracks, but in actual life, it often makes everyone cross. In fiction, there tends to be one 'true' story which some/most character didn't realise but which is suddenly revealed, changing everything (Secrets and Lies springs to mind). But actual lives are a bit messier.

That would be a good story - the messiness of actual lives. Sort of Durrell's Alexandria Quartet but mundane. I like mundane.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ah yes, different people in the family always have their different narratives. It makes for interesting fiction, when these stories all come together and some of them get bumped off the tracks, but in actual life, it often makes everyone cross. In fiction, there tends to be one 'true' story which some/most character didn't realise but which is suddenly revealed, changing everything (Secrets and Lies springs to mind). But actual lives are a bit messier.

That would be a good story - the messiness of actual lives. Sort of Durrell's Alexandria Quartet but mundane. I like mundane.

You dont like mundane at all! You scream, DRAMA!

That said, the other stuff is what I call confounding, unintended results.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So I read some of my story reviews, to get the flavor.

I'm reminded of when I worked for the state and prepared reports and legal paperwork. Judges and lawyers almost always complimented my terse, minimalist style, while administrators generally disliked my style. One group wanted to know what was going on, and the other group wanted to be entertained. Human service types like stories with happy endings. Judges wanna know what they got to work with.

Anyway I'm coming round to thinking that LIT readers lack experience with how people are and familiarity with the diversity of sexual interactions/dynamics.

 

[NaokoSmith]

You dont like mundane at all! You scream, DRAMA!

That said, the other stuff is what I call confounding, unintended results.

Oh no, drama is what happens my life. I love mundane. I like to write about doing the washing up. I have to dress it up in a lot of tossing lace cuffs and heaving bosoms and duels. But there is lots of washing up and mundane in my stories because I love hanging out the laundry in the back garden with the first daffodils coming up.

Family are drama. They ought to be mundane but sometimes they go and dramatise it all.

As for the LIT readers, no, they don't have a very good grasp on the realities and complexity of sexual dynamics. That's why they read, I guess. They're trying to figure it out.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So I'm doing what I call plot via slot machine, feed the machine coins, pull its arm, and wait for a payoff. I have no idea where this story is going but it moves along with the occasional nickle dump. I mean, I know where its destination is, but destination isnt plot.

Mom flew to Sonnys home from California, to care for him while Lucy is in a coma (the wife). Mom unpacks, needs some things she forgot in her haste to leave town, and arrives back at Sonnys a few hours later with a carton of cigarettes, booze, and a brief (25 inches from the shoulders) diaphanous nightie the maker calls DANGEROUS AFFAIR. Momma gets outta her civies, puts on the nightie, belts a couple more drinks, and falls asleep on the sofa snoring softly, head in Sonnys lap, holding his hand tween her tits. Prolly too IRL at this point.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Oh no, drama is what happens my life. I love mundane. I like to write about doing the washing up. I have to dress it up in a lot of tossing lace cuffs and heaving bosoms and duels. But there is lots of washing up and mundane in my stories because I love hanging out the laundry in the back garden with the first daffodils coming up.

Family are drama. They ought to be mundane but sometimes they go and dramatise it all.

As for the LIT readers, no, they don't have a very good grasp on the realities and complexity of sexual dynamics. That's why they read, I guess. They're trying to figure it out.

I like Raymond Carver minimalism. He cut it to the bone. I cant imagine LIT readers putting up with his stuff for a minute.

I'm fortunate to have ancestors who duelled for real, and the events were captured by multiple witnesses. Lotsa drama and blood. Prince Achille Murat (Napoleons nephew) was a 2nd in one of the duels.

From what I've read of your tales you have a nice way of balancing your gladiators. The tension is there but not in an ass over teacup way.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I like Raymond Carver minimalism. He cut it to the bone. I cant imagine LIT readers putting up with his stuff for a minute.

I'm fortunate to have ancestors who duelled for real, and the events were captured by multiple witnesses. Lotsa drama and blood. Prince Achille Murat (Napoleons nephew) was a 2nd in one of the duels.

From what I've read of your tales you have a nice way of balancing your gladiators. The tension is there but not in an ass over teacup way.

Oh thank you. I had no idea you were reading my stories. They seem rather romantic for you. The fantasy ones have a dreadful tendency to run-on sentences. If you read any of those, I'm very flattered that you were able to stick with them at all. I mean that in all sincerity. They're mainly aimed at silly young women who imagine LOVE has to be about an experienced man taking a virgin in hand and showing her his tricks. I like to offer a different narrative for people to consider.

The werewolf ones are different. I'm stuck on those at the moment as my editor has had a life crisis and disappeared to sort it out. I ought perhaps to find another editor but I feel a wistful loyalty to her.

At least my stories nothing like Native Son. ROFL.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Oh thank you. I had no idea you were reading my stories. They seem rather romantic for you. The fantasy ones have a dreadful tendency to run-on sentences. If you read any of those, I'm very flattered that you were able to stick with them at all. I mean that in all sincerity. They're mainly aimed at silly young women who imagine LOVE has to be about an experienced man taking a virgin in hand and showing her his tricks. I like to offer a different narrative for people to consider.

The werewolf ones are different. I'm stuck on those at the moment as my editor has had a life crisis and disappeared to sort it out. I ought perhaps to find another editor but I feel a wistful loyalty to her.

At least my stories nothing like Native Son. ROFL.

I commented on the Gay one. True, your wares arent what I prefer so I look under the hood/bonnet in hopes of admiring what makes them go, rather than attend to the cosmetic story. And you have talent, from what I see. I think editors need to have the souls of medical examiners and the detachment of morticians to do it right.

Runon sentences are the bane of Romantics. They love to wallow in sensuality and imagination. Sexually, the Romantics motto is, BE GENTLE FOR A LITTLE BIT.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I commented on the Gay one. True, your wares arent what I prefer so I look under the hood/bonnet in hopes of admiring what makes them go, rather than attend to the cosmetic story. And you have talent, from what I see. I think editors need to have the souls of medical examiners and the detachment of morticians to do it right.

Runon sentences are the bane of Romantics. They love to wallow in sensuality and imagination. Sexually, the Romantics motto is, BE GENTLE FOR A LITTLE BIT.

Great. I'll have a look. You cheered me up, the last couple of weeks I've felt a bit ... hmm, where am I going in my invisible plane, about my writing. I'm just starting to get back into it. I was getting into gear for my teaching - which is pretty low level but the managers do my head in, I have to get my baffles in place to ward them off.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Great. I'll have a look. You cheered me up, the last couple of weeks I've felt a bit ... hmm, where am I going in my invisible plane, about my writing. I'm just starting to get back into it. I was getting into gear for my teaching - which is pretty low level but the managers do my head in, I have to get my baffles in place to ward them off.

I'm reminded of a supervisor I had 20 years ago. She was a terror who scared the crap outta everyone...but me; I thought she was sexy and enjoyed every time we got together for an ass-chewing. And while she chewed on my ass I used the time to appreciate and enjoy her charms. THAT made her crazee, and she stopped chewing my ass! And when I requested a transfer to an office closer to home, she approved it (normally she denied all transfer requests). She had a nice ass and nice legs. Some times yuh just gotta confound their designs. DATS WHUT UNCLE REMUS SAY.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I'm reminded of a supervisor I had 20 years ago. She was a terror who scared the crap outta everyone...but me; I thought she was sexy and enjoyed every time we got together for an ass-chewing. And while she chewed on my ass I used the time to appreciate and enjoy her charms. THAT made her crazee, and she stopped chewing my ass! And when I requested a transfer to an office closer to home, she approved it (normally she denied all transfer requests). She had a nice ass and nice legs. Some times yuh just gotta confound their designs. DATS WHUT UNCLE REMUS SAY.

Unfortunately my line manager looks like this:



She is doing 2 .4 jobs and a .5 job and some additional projects and studying for something. 5 will get you 10 she disappears for stress-related reasons in, ooh, about 8 months' time? She tells the students not to bother to work very hard if they're not in line for a distinction. And other helpful advice. I flirt with her, of course, because I do with everyone. But, as with many women, it seems to make her nervous.

I just smile sweetly and say, "That'll do nicely!"

 

[NaokoSmith]

That feedback was much better than my other comment. 'So sweet' is nice; I know it's not the normal thing from Anonymice and I should be grateful, but considering the effort I put in to making the gay sex graphic and detailed I was a bit taken aback. On the other hand, that is a pretty slushy love story.

It's a story that spilled out of my novels. Those two characters were incidentals in my first novel and would insist on intruding details of their lives there, where they had no business to be, so I wrote them up. I enjoyed it immensely. It had never occurred to me to have the cheek to write MM but once I got online I discovered that there was a whole genre of MM by women for women. Makes sense, of course. Just as men like looking at piccies of improbably babelicious babes making out with each other, women like to read about men behaving towards each other with tenderness.

Rudyard Kipling is a story-teller par excellence, thank you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Unfortunately my line manager looks like this:



She is doing 2 .4 jobs and a .5 job and some additional projects and studying for something. 5 will get you 10 she disappears for stress-related reasons in, ooh, about 8 months' time? She tells the students not to bother to work very hard if they're not in line for a distinction. And other helpful advice. I flirt with her, of course, because I do with everyone. But, as with many women, it seems to make her nervous.

I just smile sweetly and say, "That'll do nicely!"

Nerves are a good sign of vulnerability. I've observed plenty of people carried out of the building for stress overload. Hang in there!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That feedback was much better than my other comment. 'So sweet' is nice; I know it's not the normal thing from Anonymice and I should be grateful, but considering the effort I put in to making the gay sex graphic and detailed I was a bit taken aback. On the other hand, that is a pretty slushy love story.

It's a story that spilled out of my novels. Those two characters were incidentals in my first novel and would insist on intruding details of their lives there, where they had no business to be, so I wrote them up. I enjoyed it immensely. It had never occurred to me to have the cheek to write MM but once I got online I discovered that there was a whole genre of MM by women for women. Makes sense, of course. Just as men like looking at piccies of improbably babelicious babes making out with each other, women like to read about men behaving towards each other with tenderness.

Rudyard Kipling is a story-teller par excellence, thank you.

MM is lost on me. I dont get it and dont expect things to change in the future. I'm clueless how to write it, even. My attitude about FF has changed with time, the FF I see IRL isnt pleasant. The woman next door goes thru women like I go thru sacks of manure, and with worse results. The agency I worked for was a FF dominated place, and the drama was toxic. They think nothing of destroying each others careers once the fun is gone. Bisexuals seem to do better. Incest I know about as my mom (and other moms) liked me a lot. A while back my high school girlfriend told me that her mom was very fond of me (I knew it). I was MILF bait!

Anyway, while MM is lost on me your talent isnt lost on me. You have some gifts.

I'll read your others as time permits. I'm more into slasher horrror than non-human.

BTW Clive Barker wrote a few excellent gay horror stories, they arent sexy MM encounters, but theyre written well and the stories oughta appeal to straights, too, as struggling with monsters is their agenda.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Had brunch with my youngest sister. Never met her before today. She's a natural blonde and pretty. Had a good time.