Think this will confuse readers?

[lovecraft68]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it.

Thoughts?

 

[MelissaBaby]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it?

Thoughts?

I had a similar problem times three when I wrote The Gold Dollar Girls. The characters are strippers, who use their dancer names at the club, but their given names elsewhere.

First, I matched their initials, Roxanne/Rhonda for example.The first scene included a conversation in which they each used both names, so the readers knew them right off the bat.

In all scenes between the girls, I used the club name.When they interacted with people outside the club, I used their given names.

I do not recall any complaints about name confusion, it seems to have worked out well.

 

[Zeronix]

It depends how you said it initially I guess. Is it signposted clearly? In its own paragraph? Does it get a response from the protag? All these things make it more memorable / obvious to the reader

 

[PapaRomantic]

I did this - perhaps not surprisingly, also in an escort story - but it was towards the end of the story so referring to the escort by her actual true name didn't happen too many times.

I never received any comments about it, so I just assumed the readers understood and made the switch in their minds.

 

[TheLobster]

If the character is asking to be called something during sex, I’d expect that to be “Daddy” or “Mistress”, not “Sara”. Since this clearly an uncommon kink, make sure you put your story in Fetish and tag it appropriately

 

[StillStunned]

Do a couple of "Savannah - no, she'd said her name was Sara" bits. Gradually moving to "Sara - not Savannah", and from there on just Sara.

 

[crookedletter]

I think that might be confusing. Maybe if the character slips once or twice and calls her Savannah and she corrects him, that would help soften that transition.

 

[SimonDoom]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it.

Thoughts?

This makes perfect sense to me. I'd say, go with it. Of course, as always, the devil is in the details and it depends on how you do it, but I see no reason this cannot work.

 

[Erozetta]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it.

Thoughts?

It wouldn't be confusing to me.

But I've done something similar before and readers had no issue following it. (This was in Romance. MFC is named Valen, MMC heard Lynn and spent four years looking for Lynn, she doesn't correct him until near the end of the story when they reconnect. He still puts her in his phone as Lynn.)

Also named a character Charity but she goes by Cherry throughout, both names are mentioned at various times by various people. No issue from readers there, either. (Was also in romance.)

 

[AlinaX]

The first time you do the switch, draw subtle attention to it, and there's no need to worry after that.
None of that mattered to her. She kissed Savannah - Sara - with a fierce hunger that set them both on fire.

 

[lovecraft68]

It depends how you said it initially I guess. Is it signposted clearly? In its own paragraph? Does it get a response from the protag? All these things make it more memorable / obvious to the reader

Yes, the protag has a response to it, not verbally but a thought that she was touched she would give her real name so there was more than a quick name drop.

 

[lovecraft68]

The first time you do the switch, draw subtle attention to it, and there's no need to worry after that.
None of that mattered to her. She kissed Savannah - Sara - with a fierce hunger that set them both on fire.

I do have the MC have a response to the real name reveal so its enforced with more than "call me..." I feel its enough.

 

[Comshaw]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it.

Thoughts?

I think it's fine. If I were reading it and got all excited by the story and skipped that sentence about her real name, the first time I ran into it being used after that would be a "WTF did I miss?" moment. I'd stop and backtrack to find out what I missed which in some sex stories I am prone to do) or if the author dropped in a name that wasn't supposed to be there. The statement about her real name couldn't be any clearer. It will work. Trust me, I worked for a government!

Comshaw

 

[AlinaX]

I do have the MC have a response to the real name reveal so its enforced with more than "call me..." I feel its enough.

Your choice, of course, but it hits different in dialogue vs narrative.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It'd work fine for me. I had something similar in Red Scarf - Anjali becomes "Lily" in-scene, and sometimes in the narrator's head - and nobody ever mentioned being confused by it.

Lit being Lit, any choice you make is bound to confuse somebody out there, but you don't have to write for that somebody.

 

[SimonDoom]

I just finished my latest work and I put something in there that I wonder if readers will follow or get confused.

The MC meets a woman who goes by "Savannah" and she says early on that name isn't her real one, but one she used back when she was an escort

Her and the MC talk for a while and I refer to her as Savannah as that's what the readers knows her as. The sex starts and I'm using that name (more than usual as its two women and I have to deal with the female pronoun game of which she and which her) at a point during the scene the MC says "Savannah" and she replies. "Call me Sara, its my real name"

Now the rest of the story, its Sara.

To me, the all knowing author, this is not confusing. She states early she is using an alias and later clearly reveals her real name.

But my wife, who I read everything to so I can catch typos or wrong words etc, asked me if I was being to clever because some people might now follow. I asked of she had trouble, and she said no but insisted some might especially because the name is revealed during sex and a lot of readers begin to read faster during sex and pay less attention.

Now I'm wondering about it.

Thoughts?

I'll give you a well-known example. Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings is referred to as "Strider" at the outset, because he is supposed to be in disguise and the Hobbits don't appreciate who he really is. Then when his identity is disclosed, he is "Aragorn" for the rest of the story. There's no confusion.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'll give you a well-known example. Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings is referred to as "Strider" at the outset, because he is supposed to be in disguise and the Hobbits don't appreciate who he really is. Then when his identity is disclosed, he is "Aragorn" for the rest of the story. There's no confusion.

And believe it or not, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ben Kenobi are the same guy!

 

[PapaRomantic]

One more thought - there is a very famous book that gives us an historical precedent about this.

Simon the fisherman became Peter the Apostle, and it seems readers have understood this for centuries.

 

[MrPixel]

If a follower is invested in the character (as you intend them to be), then there will be no confusion.

IRL example: in my bachelor days I had a girlfriend I knew as "Angela". It was mentioned to me by a friend (who was the then boyfriend of my current wife of 30 years, tho' I didn't know it at the time, of course) who had been previously dating her as "Angel". She eventually told me her real name was "Valerie", but used "Angela" in her line of work as a radio DJ in another state, where on-air aliases were and are common.

None of it bothered me; I was never confused as to who was next to me in the bed.

 

[Voboy]

I would assume it's a typo, then be perplexed when it continued, then after awhile I'd figure it out.

Maybe a brief sentence, early, about how she only gives her real name to people she loves. Or have him figure that out, later, with the reader being privy to the realization. But I doubt that's really necessary.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

Makes perfect sense to me.

In one of my stories I have a character named Elijah. His brother, whose real name is Curtis, goes by the street name of Red Dog. I use Red Dog and Curtis interchangeably, but mostly only use Curtis when Elijah is talking to him or in a paragraph about what Elijah is thinking. Curtis tries to get Elijah to accept the street name of "Boog" and Elijah steadfastly refuses.

The pair start doing sex work together, and there's finally a scene where Curtis demands Elijah do something that he otherwise doesn't want to do but accepts doing it because he desperately needs the money, and he then refers to himself as 'Boog' for the first time. I use that name throughout the rest of that scene. I designed it as a way to show the difference between Elijah, who was reluctant, and his brother's attempt to remake his image and his brother finally winning (at least at that point).

I think that kind of thing can work well, and in this context the Savannah/Sara thing seems to fit well.

 

[TheRedChamber]

It doesn't sound confusing the way you've described it. Over thousands or tens-of-thousands of words, there is potential for it to get lost - maybe what your wife is referring to.

The question I'd ask is how invested is the reader going to be in learning the name? If it's set up as 'the mystery' of the woman's name early on and, for example, trust issues are a theme of the story and giving the name is the ultimate demonstration of trust then it becomes hard to miss as a fundamental story beat. On the other hand, if it's tossed in early on, the MC (and thus the reader) doesn't really care then the inattentive reader might get thrown by it and it becomes rather pointless or unnecessarily confusing - although as others have said, you can hammer the reader over the switch a few times if you still think it fits.

 

[TheLobster]

I'll give you a well-known example. Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings is referred to as "Strider" at the outset, because he is supposed to be in disguise and the Hobbits don't appreciate who he really is. Then when his identity is disclosed, he is "Aragorn" for the rest of the story. There's no confusion.

That's not a great example because it's Tolkien. Everything and everyone in Tolkien's works has half a dozen different names. As a reader you learn very quickly that whenever a new name is introduced, it doesn't necessarily mean a new person or place.

What's more important, though, is that each of those different names for the same people are in use in different regions or by different cultures. There is always a context to each one, which helps with keeping them square. In LC68's case, you have the exact same character in the exact same context interacting with the exact people -- and yet she suddenly has a "new" name. And it's presumably the only such case in the story.

So yeah, that's tough. I'd make it as clear as possible that this transition occurs; repeat it in the narrative; and repeat it a scene or two later, having the MC stumble and then correct himself or be corrected by the "renamed" character.

 

[JuanSeiszFitzHall]

Forgive me, but I'm going to overthink this. Is there a reason within the story for both names to start 'Sa'? If not, potential confusion might be averted if the names start with different letters, or sounds, or something.

 

[StillStunned]

Tammy, Jessica, Yuliya only features two people. None of the 14k readers have complained about it being confusing.