Things you should never say to a woman.

[HoldenMcCrank]

I want to start a thread of things that should never be said to a woman:

I will start with this

Men don't leave their wives/ girlfriends because the other woman is a better cook!



HMC

 

[1hotjob]

.

 

[paganangel]

myall tim favorite

actually honey, and you might not believe this, but if circumstances were different, you'd really like her a lot once you got to know her.

 

[pabloback]

she means nothing to me
she does give brilliant head though

 

[Wiggles]

.

 

[paganangel]

one word...

cunt

 

[JennyOmanHill]

"No problem". (as an answer to anything!)

 

[Moridin187]

My last girlfriend... (insert ANYTHING positive here)

 

[ShamelessFlirt]

12 Things To NEVER Say When You're Arguing With A Woman!!

1.'Don't you have some laundry to do or something?'

2.'No really...I was laughing about a joke I heard one time.'

3.'Ohh, you are so cute when your face gets all red and scrunched up like that.'

4.'You're just upset because your backside is beginning to spread.'

5.'Wait a minute...I get it. What time of the month is it?

6.'Are you gonna cry now? (force lip to quiver mockingly)

7.'You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?'

8.'Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.'

9.'Whoa, time out honey. Football basketball, golf, etc.) is on.'

10.'Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Frosted Witchy Flakes this morning.'

11.'Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?'

12.'Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded'

****

Things you will NEVER hear a woman say ...

You know, I've been complaining a lot lately.
I don't blame you for ignoring me.

That was fun! When will all of your friends be over to watch porno movies again?

Let me pick up the tab, I insist!


The new girl in my office is a stripper.
I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

You don't have to work honey, I'll take care of you.

While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

Bar food again? Alright!

I liked that wedding even more than ours.
Your ex-girlfriend has class.

You don't have to buy me anything... I am happy just being with you.

That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am.
Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

Who cares about talking?
Let's just have sex.

I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends.
Tell me more.

Going out with your buddies again? Have fun!

I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one...what a wonderful Valentine's day present!

Lying is such a turn on.

Let's just leave the toilet seat up all the time; then you won't have to mess with it anymore.

I love baiting my own hook.
Wriggling worms are so sensual.

It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

Honey come here! Watch me do a tequila shot off of Stephanie's bare butt!

Don't bother about calling me, it was just sex.

I'm so happy with my new hairstyle,
I don't think I'll ever change it again.

You know what? You are always right!

The tool set you got me for my birthday is so cool! How did I ever wind up with such a wonderful guy like you?

Anniversary? Today is our anniversary?

Honey forget about a diamond ring, let's get that power boat you've had your eye on.

Dang! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya big silly!

You are so much smarter than my father.

If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.

Marriage schmarriage! Let's just live in sin.
It's much more fun that way!

Your wish is my command.

 

[Guest]

harder... harder! your sister can fuck better than that!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Hey, the Taliban really had something with that whole women and fundamental zealot Islam thing.

 

[Eroticus]

I was just out with the guys. We didn't even look at another woman - honest!

Actually my favorite is from Liar Liar - "Oh I've had better."

 

[pabloback]

empty the fridge i have beer
its not like mums cooking
i just told your brother how you like to swallow

 

[JennyOmanHill]

Things I have actually said!!

You know, I've been complaining a lot lately.
I don't blame you for ignoring me.

Let me pick up the tab, I insist!

Bar food again? Alright!

You don't have to buy me anything... I am happy just being with you.

Going out with your buddies again? Have fun!

It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

You know what? You are always right!
(Although this last one was said sarcastically!)

Just thought I'd mention I have actually uttered these lines!

 

[Moridin187]

if, for instance, your girlfriend's name is Janet:

"Oh yeah.. oh yeah baby.. Oh god, OH GOD, OH GOD ! YEAH BABY! OH GOD YES, SUSAN!"

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Things you will NEVER hear a woman say ...
You don't have to buy me anything... I am happy just being with you.

some women will say this one.. i know i have, rather recently, and he's the one insistent on buying me something (even though i keep telling him not to.. i just wanna spend time with him)

Who cares about talking?
Let's just have sex.

sheesh.. you'd think all women want to do is talk? that's what my man thought before we started having sex together.. and well, he's usually more the one that wants to talk than i am..

i vote that list be edited to some extent.. cuz at least one woman will say them

 

[JazzManJim]

"Honey, please don't blame the dress for making you look fat...."

 

[oakleyx4]

Its not you, its me. and Is your (girl friends name) seeing anyone.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

No honey your snoring is not loud, it's REALLY loud! In fact, I have a hot line to the earth quake monitor center down at the university so I can tell them it's another false alarm!

Phantom

 

[bigrednz]

Ducking for cover.........

Hey Baby blow this I think it's blocked.

 

[Batgirl]

What are you doing out of the kitchen?

Yes your ass does look big in that, but its ok cause it draws the attention away from your face!

 

[seXieleXie]

wow... your mom/sister is HOT
wow... your dad/brother is HOT
i don't believe in the myth of the female orgasm
what's a clitorus?

 

[noflames40]

it's hard to admit

Honey, I just came back from the doctor and I have to admit, I'm a ........Haitian.


noflames

 

[o_is_me]

"You can't fool me with a fake orgasm, I KNOW."



AAAAAH hahahahahahahahahaaa.....

 

[Guest]

"You have EMOTIONAL intelligence."

"Women have it easy."

"So what?"