Things you learn

[mig]

From the movies

1. Large loft style appartments in New York City are well within
the price range of most people-whether they are employed or
not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you choose to defuse a bomb,don't worry which wire
to cut.You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptops are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of invading aliens.
5. It does not matter if you are outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts.Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one
by one.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed,everything in your
bedroom will be clearly visible,just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty,it is possible to become a world
expert on nuclear fission at age 22.
8. Honest policemen are traditionally gunned down 3 days before
their retirement.
9. All beds have special L shaped cover sheets that reach armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man.
10.All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
bread.

 

[Bogey77]

That is funny

Don't forget that the good guy never runs out of bullets... if the good guy runs out of ammo, the bad guy runs out at the same time.

The good guy is also a marksman, while the bad guys are the worst shots ever.

I don't know if you mentioned this one, but if a guy in a war movie shows you a picture of his girlfriend back home, he is as good as dead.

 

[Siren]

 

[littlekateyes]

Funny

 

[Guest]

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade — at any time of the year.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there. And you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war — unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

You can see the Eiffel Tower from every window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will suspend his star detective — or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds — unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

 

[Siren]

 

[Guest]

lol its twice as important??

umm hell if I know... I just copy and paste

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

People of TV never finish their drinks.

If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at
an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have
lost this technology.

All single women have a cat.

Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by
frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially
if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the
person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.


When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal
damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need
one.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their
arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley
systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions can be played without moving the fingers.

Guns are like disposable razers - if you run out of bullets, just
throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump
into will know all the steps.

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Whenever you are alone and start singing, accompanying music will mysteriously appear from no apparent source. Nobody will ever think this is strange.

 

[lissalynn]

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

LMFAO. Dayam, i was just thinking of the killer headache i'd get from sitting up that fast!