Things that shouldn't be heard...

[de-valmont]

Silly game really, the idea is concoct a situation and then the next person says what they wouldn't like to hear in that circumstance.

For instance:

Watching a flight attendant hurry from the cabin:

Anyone know how to fly a plane?

Or:

While at the proctologist the doctor says:

I'm terribly sorry but I have terrible depth perception.

Anyway here goes:

When arriving back home after your first date as a kid:

 

[koalabear]

what does a Koala do to the never ending game threads?

iggy them........

 

[elizabeth22673]

Actually this sounds fun, but I can't think of anything good to say

 

[asian_princess]

Anyway here goes:

When arriving back home after your first date as a kid:

"Your cousin show you a good time, did he?"



The note left on a mysterious box on your doorstep:

 

[MollyDolly]

"Your cousin show you a good time, did he?"

The note left on a mysterious box on your doorstep:

Sorry, that rash WAS herpes... here's some cream...

The short, but sweet email from your boss in the inbox this morning.

 

[asian_princess]

Sorry, that rash WAS herpes... here's some cream...

The short, but sweet email from your boss in the inbox this morning.

Come into my office to get your pink 'slip'


Your local politician during his acceptance speech:

 

[cliteatingman]

The short, but sweet email from your boss in the inbox this morning.[/QUOTE]

It says 'I'm sure you're good in bed but you'll have to prove it to keep your job.'

Letter from your SO

 

[MollyDolly]

Come into my office to get your pink 'slip'

Your local politician during his acceptance speech:

"Listen, you're going to find out anyhow, so let's be straight: I'm going to drink a lot, hire a lot of escorts, do a lot of drugs, and occasionally have casual and unprotected sex with men in public washrooms- no one's perfect!"

What you never want to hear from your SO when you break up.

 

[asian_princess]

"Listen, you're going to find out anyhow, so let's be straight: I'm going to drink a lot, hire a lot of escorts, do a lot of drugs, and occasionally have casual and unprotected sex with men in public washrooms- no one's perfect!"

What you never want to hear from your SO when you break up.

"I would've written you a Dear John letter, but I couldn't remember if that was your name or not "


The list of possible side effects on your aspirin bottle:

 

[MollyDolly]

"I would've written you a Dear John letter, but I couldn't remember if that was your name or not "

The list of possible side effects on your aspirin bottle:

Side effects may include:
- uncontrollable urge to drunk dial your ex- SO
- loss of bladder/bowel control
- chlymidia
- craving for Kraft Dinner
- urge to post on silly new thread with asian_princess

The real reason why your ex checks his/her doors before heading to bed at night...

 

[asian_princess]

Side effects may include:
- uncontrollable urge to drunk dial your ex- SO
- loss of bladder/bowel control
- chlymidia
- craving for Kraft Dinner
- urge to post on silly new thread with asian_princess

The real reason why your ex checks his/her doors before heading to bed at night...

*laughs* take more, MissMolly, take more!

Flashback to you yelling out in court: "Technically it wasn't breaking and entering!!!! Just entering...and setting on fire!"




The stranger sitting next to you in the movie theatre:

 

[MollyDolly]

*laughs* take more, MissMolly, take more!

Flashback to you yelling out in court: "Technically it wasn't breaking and entering!!!! Just entering...and setting on fire!"

The stranger sitting next to you in the movie theatre:

*on the cell phone* Yeah, I'm out with Bob, honey. No, I swear I'm not on a date with that Molly slut you hate. I know, I know- I told you I'm not seeing her anymore!"

One phrase you really don't want to hear right as he cums.

 

[asian_princess]

*on the cell phone* Yeah, I'm out with Bob, honey. No, I swear I'm not on a date with that Molly slut you hate. I know, I know- I told you I'm not seeing her anymore!"

One phrase you really don't want to hear right as he cums.

"Oh my...ihaven'tbeendrinkingthatpineapplejuicelikeyoutoldmeto...godddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


The jeweller valuing your wedding ring:

 

[MollyDolly]

"Oh my...ihaven'tbeendrinkingthatpineapplejuicelikeyoutoldmeto...godddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The jeweller valuing your wedding ring:

Yes, one of those vending machines in the mall... see, right here it says "Lil' Gangsta Bling..." Clearly made of plastic.

Your gynecologist at your yearly exam.

 

[asian_princess]

Yes, one of those vending machines in the mall... see, right here it says "Lil' Gangsta Bling..." Clearly made of plastic.

Your gynecologist at your yearly exam.

Wow. I've never seen a natural revirginisation before.



The guy at the counter when you collect your printed photographs:

 

[MollyDolly]

Wow. I've never seen a natural revirginisation before.

The guy at the counter when you collect your printed photographs:

I'm sorry, Miss, it's standard procedure that we call the police on any customers who attempt to get pictures developed of themselves in er, compromising positions... on the positive side, can I get your number?

What that dirty old man at the bar is really saying to you when he mutters in your ear.

 

[asian_princess]

I'm sorry, Miss, it's standard procedure that we call the police on any customers who attempt to get pictures developed of themselves in er, compromising positions... on the positive side, can I get your number?

What that dirty old man at the bar is really saying to you when he mutters in your ear.

You remind me of ... me, when I was a young girl.



When your credit card company calls at 3am:

 

[BoomerP]

You remind me of ... me, when I was a young girl.



When your credit card company calls at 3am:

Hello, your order of big women with big tits 30 day membership has been successfull. Btw we wore in the same class at school!


What your boss tells you when he arrives 10 minutes late for work

 

[MollyDolly]

You remind me of ... me, when I was a young girl.

When your credit card company calls at 3am:

How could you possibly max out 3 credit cards on online sex toy/porn shops??? Who has three copies of Afro Whores?

ParrishP's question above!

 

[Morrigu]

Hello, your order of big women with big tits 30 day membership has been successfull. Btw we wore in the same class at school!


What your boss tells you when he arrives 10 minutes late for work

How could you possibly max out 3 credit cards on online sex toy/porn shops??? Who has three copies of Afro Whores?

ParrishP's question above!

That's the last time I let the wife use the cuffs on me.................

What the guy says as he spills a drink over you

 

[elizabeth22673]

That's the last time I let the wife use the cuffs on me.................

What the guy says as he spills a drink over you

Oh boy....that is never going to come out.


You are at work and your son's teacher calls unexpectedly...

 

[LustfulOne50]

The rocking sound of loose bed springs coming from your parents bedroom as you lay in room next to them with your new spouse.

 

[de-valmont]

You are at work and your son's teacher calls unexpectedly...

I think you should sit down, your son's about to be the father...

of my child...


While waiting in line at the doctor's surgery.

 

[Annicka]

I think you should sit down, your son's about to be the father...

of my child...


While waiting in line at the doctor's surgery.

It will be a moment. His palsy med hasn't kicked in yet.


At the car mechanics =

 

[pleasantville]

Taking a bite of food at the restaraunt when you hear in the back. "I can't believe he is actually going to eat that"