Things I will NOT do when Sir is sleeping..

[D's mariposa]

I will not shave any of his body parts that he normally does not shave.

I will not apply make up to any part of his Domly self.

I will not dye any of his clothing any shade of purple, even though he'd look perfectly fetching in purple.

I will not use his cell phone to call Siberia so I can attend the Siberian Subbie Circle meeting via teleconferencing.

I will not use his calling card to do so either.

Nor will I borrow his car for a road trip to attend the Siberian Subbie Circles yearly BBQ and spankathon. (You take I-5 up the coast to Vancouver where you ogle the mounties while clearing customs. Then you follow the freeway up the Canadian coast. Take a left up through Alaska and then put snow chains on before attempting to cross the Bering Strait on the ice.....)

I will not take the Icky Flogger or the ping pong paddle, or anything else that is stingy rather than thuddy and toss them into the river or over a cliff or down the garbage disposal.

I will not compose long elegiac poetry in iambic pentameter to the virtue, grace, beauty, pain sluttiness of his darling subbie and post them to Usenet under his name.

I will not hack into his email and add "Neener neener neener!" to his sig line.

I will not keep popping into the bedroom and staring into his face til he wakes up just to see if he is asleep yet.

I will not take his credit cards and shop til I drop on the internet, even though I just KNOW he'd love to see me black leather..

 

[Daddyslilpet]

LMAO

Sounds like you covered it all fairly well there.

dixi

 

[MissTaken]

You probably shouldn't shout "Fire!"

You shouldn't play dress up with his bullwhip and leather.

And certainly, never wake him up with a blow job...


Oh, that last one is on the wrong list!

 

[Desdemona]

I will not put His hand in a basin of warm water in an effort to make Him wet the bed.

I will not sprinkle itching powder in His underwear drawer.

I will not paint His fingernails and toenails hot pink.

I will not apply a pink unicorn temporary tattoo on His forearm.

 

[dragonlace]

I will not put shaving cream in His hand and tickle His nose with a feather.

I will not shave His head in a zigzag fashion.

I will not put makeup on Him and do His hair in tiny pink bows.

 

[Desdemona]

I will not apply tiny strips of duct tape to His pubic hair.

 

[dragonlace]

I will not use permanent marker to draw smiley faces on His body.

 

[Desdemona]

I will not draw a mustache and goatee on His face with permanent marker.

 

[dragonlace]

I will not paint His body with liquid latex in the form of a giant pink butterfly.

I will not hide His paddle when i have done anything wrong.

I will not ever use crazy glue on any part of Him.

I will not wax His eyebrows leaving it on so that He must pull it off when He wakes.

 

[Desdemona]

I will not draw a bullseye target on His ass.

I will not tape His eyelids shut.

I will not tie a pink ribbon around His cock.

I will not use my cuffs to restrain Him to the bed.

 

[Zaudika]

And certainly, never wake him up with a blow job...


Oh, that last one is on the wrong list!

Most *definitely* on the wrong list.

Now, for this list.

I will not bounce up and down on the bed.

I will not shift my positions over and over again, purposely trying to wake him up for attention, and then act surprised when he does wake up.

I will not talk to him in hopes of getting him to start talking silly ways in his sleep.

I will not apply Nair to any part of his body.

I will not tickle his feet.

 

[navarre]

HMMMMMM

I think all of you need a LOT of nasty discipline.

 

[Desdemona]

Re: HMMMMMM

I think all of you need a LOT of nasty discipline.

Thank you Nav. I knew you were my friend. I like nasty discipline.

 

[bunny bondage]

i will not sneak into the living room and read his journal....


*hangs head*

 

[ammre]

I will not pee on him or the surrpounding area. (my kitten once peed on my arm he's since been litter trained)

I will not dred his hair.

I will not put any hair die, especially of the fushia or lavander pursuasion, in his hair.

I will not Get a long crocheting needle and stick him with it repeatedly while faking sleep so he will wake up andwonder wha the hell poked him....

I will not throw the cat on him.

I will not throw the dog on him.

i will not place animal goodies under his genetalia.

I will not cover him in lube.

I will not put shaving cream in his hand and tickle his face.

I will not give him a hickey in a highly visible place (read: forehead)

I will not draw a face on his penis and take pictures of it.

I will not tie him to the bed and do more evil things...

I will not soak all of his boxers and put them in the freezer.

I will not paint his nails (especially in any feminin color)

I will not do anythign involving Their ass and a camera.

 

[ammre]

Er..
i will never clamp my eyelash curler ontp his pubes and duct tape it shut tightyl as well as duct tape it to his leg...

*blinks*

 

[Zaudika]

Er..
i will never clamp my eyelash curler ontp his pubes and duct tape it shut tightyl as well as duct tape it to his leg...

*blinks*

OW!!!!!!

 

[lilredwolph]

i will NOT take the cordless phone into the bathroom and dail His cell phone (which is sitting next to the bed) just to say HI

i will NOT curl up on the floor between the bed and wall and fall asleep so that He thinks i left during the night(this also goes for sleeping in the closet or under the bed)

i will NOT hide His underwear and replace them with pink panties

i will NOT go outside and move His car to the other end of the parking lot so He can't find it

i will NOT lock His weapons of mass destruction in the trunk of my car

i will not wake Him and tell Him it's 4 hours later than it really is just to watch Him rush around getting ready for work, and wonder how long it will be before he realizes it is the middle of the night still

i will NOT eat potato chips (or anything else crunchy) in His bed

 

[Desdemona]

I will refrain from hacking into His account and e-mailing His domly friends to tell them of His sudden discovery that being submissive fulfills Him like being dominant never did.

I will not hack into His lit control panel and change His title to "Bitch Boy".

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Things i will Not do once I have a Dom/me

I will not take it upon myself to give Them orders.

I will not ever apply ben-gay to any part of Their body that would cause them intense pain.

I will not hide the remote after i turn on the tv so that They have to watch what i want.

I will not attempt to convince Them that they REALLY feel submissive to me.

I will not raid Their e-mail accounts, no matter the provocation.
(bad PET, bad)

I will not steal Their wallet or purse, take out all Their money and plastic cash just so They will stay with me *a little longer* and if i were to do so, i would not be dumb enough to give it all back!!!
(oops the secret is out now)

i will not feed into the negativity of others who claim that WE are sick and perverted (as if that were a bad thing)

Brat Princess

 

[Ebonyfire]

I will refrain from hacking into His account and e-mailing His domly friends to tell them of His sudden discovery that being submissive fulfills Him like being dominant never did.

I will not hack into His lit control panel and change His title to "Bitch Boy".

Even if it is true?

My bad.

 

[Desdemona]

Even if it is true?

My bad.

heh.

 

[Ebonyfire]

heh.

Now Snooze knows I ain't talkin' about him! lol

 

[Desdemona]

Now Snooze knows I ain't talkin' about him! lol

Of course. LOL. So did I.

 

[Mr Blonde]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You ladies have made quite a list....

*starts sleeping with his hands cupped over his privates*