They need your help....

[dantepaladino]

I am very new to this board, actually this is my first day and firts post. I was surprised that the few questions I read were from users that are underage. That is not what surprised me, I was surprised that they were refused help with their questions. I can understand that this is a board for adult users, but none of these kids are asking you to have sex with them, they are asking questions that they may be afraid to ask anyone else. I do see harm in talking dirty or playing fantasy games with underage users but I do not see the harm in helping them with their problems.

It was obvious to me that they are going to do what they are doing with or without this board. But do any of you feel that your age and expirence can help these kids to make better decisions about sex and relationships.

Other than that I have enjoyed reading the board, and plan on posting quite often.

 

[Cheyenne]

That isn't the problem

It isn't a question of whether we want to help them or not. The issue is that it isn't legal for them to be on the bb in the first place under U.S laws. The reason they are here doesn't matter, the law doesn't care. Underage is underage. The best thing any of us can do once we discover someone under 18 on bb is to ask him/her to leave voluntarily and come back when they are a legal 18.

 

[Guest]

I can see what the other is saying

I can see what both Dante and Cheyenne are saying here. While these kids are not 18 they deserve advice that parents can't give. But on the other hand these kids are underage and can't be on the board or the site for that matter. Not to mention that these kids are too young for what they are asking about. I think that while people are right in not giving these kids the advice they need, at least they can point them in the direction of a web page that can give them the answers they deserve. I don't think that is too hard to give. That way if they have another page to go to that is legal, they may stop coming to this board illegaly.

 

[Guest]

We all realize that "kids" will still do whatever they want regardless of what is legal sexually. Most all of us here have talked about when we lost our virginity as teens, etc. But the fact remains that (depending on where you live) you must be 18 (or 21) to go to any "adult" web site. Boarders wouldn't allow a 16 y/o to read Penthouse because (s)he needed info from the articles. I think most people ignore the "kids" or try to shoo them away so WE don't lose our wonderful FREE site. You, and the kids, need to realize this. Not only could we lose our site, Laurel could get into some serious trouble. The law seems to have a zero tolerence when it comes to "kids" any age under 18 and porn content. Sorry, but that's the bottom line... and the law!


~Tiggs~
http://smilecwm.tripod.com/sd3/lise.gif

 

[Ezzie]

I know it's already been said but it's worth repeating. It's not that we don't want to help them but our hands are tied here. We can't risk losing the board or getting ourselves in trouble to help someone who is underage.

Believe me, I'd love to jump right in and give my advice to anyone I thought wanted and needed it but I just can't. There are other places they can go for help and advice, places where they can talk to people their own ages, it's just a matter of finding these places. A good search engine or a trip to the library is always a good place to start, not an adult bulletin board. Just my opinion however.

Ezzie http://smilecwm.tripod.com/sd3/witch.gif

 

[Hecate]

Besides all legal facts....

... which have been sufficiently explained, there is something else that keeps me from responding some of those questions of younger board visitors.

It is very hard to give advice or suggest how to behave in specific situations when not knowing about the circumstances, history etc. behind them. Specially those "kids" have a tendency to ask in a way I feel simply unable to give any advise I would be feeling comfortable with, not knowing in what sense and way it might be taken. This is actually valid for most of the "I have met this boy/girl ... what should I do?" questions, independant on the age of the person asking. The answer is simply "How the heck should I know??" Each person and situation is so different, so distinc, there isn't such as THE answer.

If my friends' kids came up to me asking my advice, I could maybe help with specific information because I KNOW their background and all, know them personally and so could maybe be able to drop a hint here and there - but teven then I would more try to let them figure it out for themselves - to see what is right and wrong for them personally. But there I can see reactions and responses to what is said - and can correct if I was misunderstood to avoid harm... I can't do it here! Not only don't I know if what I said was understood the way it was meant, nor if it really hit the core of the question asked, but neither can I judge the result of what has been read into my answer!

Another reason for me feeling a little reluctant giving any sexual advise to people who still are obviously seeking their own interest and inclination is simply the fact that what I think was good and right for me might not be for them. I wouldn't want to give anyone the idea that just my way of living (and expressing my sexuality) was THE way of living - I would be seriously troubled to blurt out some blatant "advice" and maybe causing a still sexually discovering person some distress or the feeling of not being "normal" just because he/she can't relate to it.

Another point is - I am most likely one of the really oblivious people here and if it isn't shoved right into my face that a poster is ... uhrrr... young ... I might not even notice, and figure (assuming everyone posting here is of legal age) the question (having a juvenile touch to it) wasn't really considered serious but meant to provoce some fun rambling. Sorry .... but that is just how my mind works, assuming people DO follow the laws.

The above mentioned idea to send those discovering teens to a page where they legally could get the information they are looking for sounds like a good idea to me - alas, I wouldn't have any clue as to if and where such sites existed, so that won't work either.

I hope this did make sense and shows that some things in the developing of sexuality just need more care than a few typed letters on an adult BB - and I wouldn't want to create the illusion in any young mind that there are "pre-made" answers and patterns when it comes to exploring your body and the feelings and reactions of members of or towards the same/opposite sex as how to approach them and make things work.

Sorry to say - but apart from the legal reasons that just make it impossible to deal with this kind of issue and will hopefully be respect, there are just a few more "hooks" that keep me away from some "help"-topics.

 

[dantepaladino]

Don't get me wong, I was not putting anyone down for not assisting these users. I was just curious as to your reasons. Thank you for all your replies.

I agree with all of your answers, especially the last one about not knowing the full background of these people.

talk to you soon.


Have any of you taken any time to check out my website. It is still kind of lame, but it is comming along. I am especially proud of my advice column, Ask Dante. Please sned some questions, we take the lighter side of most subjects, so it gets pretty funny.