They come in the night...

[binkley]

They come in the night, taking the bodies of sleepers who wake later saying: it was only a dream; dreams are not real. And in the night--without amber sunlight or blue sky, with only cool winds and moist ground--they take the bodies from places of slumber and meet in secret.

Where they meet is not known. What they do is not known. Who they are is not known.

It is better to say: where they meet, what they do, who they are, all is known to us (but forgotten by the waking mind, the well-lit circumstances): dreams are not real.

The memories of sleepers are not trusted in courts of law, they have no value. The sleeping mind is a different mind from those awake. Are they not two minds? One mind belongs to the waking; the other mind belongs to...

 

[Tatewaki]

<SNIP!> ... with only cool winds and moist ground, they take the bodies from their places of slumber and meet in secret.

You lost me with this last bit. What does it mean? Up until that point it was extremely fascinating. An excellent hook for what might be an exceptionally exciting story.

-T

 

[binkley]

Re: Re: They come in the night...

You lost me with this last bit. What does it mean? Up until that point it was extremely fascinating. An excellent cook for what might be an exceptionally exciting story.

-T

I was thinking of a body-snatcher type story. Because it happens only at night, people think they are dreaming when they are actually remembering.

 

[binkley]

Re: Re: They come in the night...

You lost me with this last bit. What does it mean? Up until that point it was extremely fascinating. An excellent cook for what might be an exceptionally exciting story.

-T

The other idea was the contrast between daytime and nighttime conditions: at night, the ground often seems damper than in the day, and dampness is associated with arousal, dirtiness, other very visceral sensations.

 

[Tatewaki]

Re: Re: They come in the night...

Ah! Sorry about the obtuseness. I get it now.

-T

 

[Tatewaki]

I get a feel off this idea like Alex Proyas' Dark City, a film where nothing is what it seems. The Matrix was similar, technically excellent but with a lame storyline.

So, Binkley, who are the bodysnatchers, and what do they really want with humanity? Sex is too obvious, and too easy. What else?

-T

 

[binkley]

Re: Re: Re: They come in the night...

Ah! Sorry about the obtuseness. I get it now.
-T

Don't apologize. Your comment means it needs a rewrite!

 

[binkley]

So, Binkley, who are the bodysnatchers, and what do they really want with humanity? Sex is too obvious, and too easy. What else?

That's a good question. I was shooting for setting a mood, and now am not sure where to go. I need to look up the references you gave. Thanks!

 

[Tatewaki]

That's a good question. I was shooting for setting a mood, and now am not sure where to go. I need to look up the references you gave. Thanks!

You've succeeded admirably with a mood; Dark Neo-Gothic where humans live in fear of those who inhabit the night. They know something is out there, but they are uncertain as to the exact nature of the Denizens of the Dark. They dismiss their incomplete memories as mere night terrors, and choose to ignore the physical evidence occasionally left upon their bodies.

For ambiance and mood, I give you 10 out of 10. I still have absolutely no idea where you intend this idea to go, however. I look forward to hearing your views.

Regards,

-T

 

[binkley]

For ambiance and mood, I give you 10 out of 10. I still have absolutely no idea where you intend this idea to go, however. I look forward to hearing your views.

Neither do I! I had an image, and put it down hoping to figure out what to do next.

Things I'm thinking of:

* How to describe what'd done to the bodies?

* What happens in this secret place?

* It should have a twist ending. I have in mind the realization by the reader that everyone is thus taken, and the thought that they, too, are so violated.


Cheers,
--binkley

 

[Bob Waters]

Nicely done re the mood!

How about Succubi or Incubi? Demons that ravish the minds of the sleeping person. I've been toying with a kind of memoir of an Incubi - male demon who has sex with sleeping woman, unlocking their darkest, nastiest secrets - you know, doing all the really DIRTY things these women dream about but would never do.

 

[binkley]

How about Succubi or Incubi? Demons that ravish the minds of the sleeping person. I've been toying with a kind of memoir of an Incubi - male demon who has sex with sleeping woman, unlocking their darkest, nastiest secrets - you know, doing all the really DIRTY things these women dream about but would never do.

Oh no, nothing so obvious. The idea is that you cannot know what they are. The fear of the unknown is paramount. Also, traditional demons weren't into body-snatching, just snatches.

 

[binkley]

how does editing work?

I'm editing my original posting as I go along: is that kosher practice for Litty?

 

[Guest]

Re: how does editing work?

The idea is that you cannot know what they are. The fear of the unknown is paramount.

Then don't say what they do. Let the reader imagine worse than the worst they can think of (Room 101).

I'm editing my original posting as I go along: is that kosher practice for Litty?

I do it all the time. Just don't expect people to reread it.